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37
Neuralink Implanted In Human Brain For First Time (archive.ph)
posted 2 years ago by Ahaus667 2 years ago by Ahaus667 +37 / -0
39 comments share
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Comments (39)
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▲ 39 ▼
– Hugs 39 points 2 years ago +39 / -0

Good news and bad.

Ads playing in your brain and literal mind viruses and ransomware are inevitable. However, maybe paralysis or vision can be restored. I'll avoid.

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▲ 35 ▼
– JustHereForTheSalmon 35 points 2 years ago +35 / -0

I used to be on-board with the augmentation of humans with technology until I realized the companies have no interest in me being in control of my own technology and instead will use it to enslave me.

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▲ 10 ▼
– Ender910 10 points 2 years ago +10 / -0

Aye, pretty much. Plus security risks being a uniquely horrific kind of nightmare.

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▲ 7 ▼
– toxicbiofacts 7 points 2 years ago +7 / -0

Also, we don’t know how severe the repercussions of long term use are going to be. It’s not some novel nanotechnology. It’s a slightly improved brain implant that requires an invasive brain surgery. Even if everything goes well, it could cause inflammation/necrosis to parts of the brain just a few years down the road.

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▲ 16 ▼
– hungryfreaksdaddy 16 points 2 years ago +16 / -0

They'll probably put your vision and motion on the subscription model.

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▲ 13 ▼
– rebuildingMyself 13 points 2 years ago +13 / -0

"Warning! You are late on your payments. Your eyesight will be reduced to 20/200 until you are paid up."

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▲ 4 ▼
– NatalieBiden 4 points 2 years ago +4 / -0

“We need Neuralink in every kid to pixelate sex scenes to keep them pure until adulthood”

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▲ 15 ▼
– ThreeLights 15 points 2 years ago +15 / -0

Say what you will about Cynerpunk 2077, it got implants in the Corpo path is going to be 100% correct. The implants will help you literally live but can be turned off at any moment for any reason.

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▲ 18 ▼
– Assassin47 18 points 2 years ago +18 / -0

Cyborg Louis Rossman is going to be really busy keeping up with this shit.

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▲ 7 ▼
– redman012 7 points 2 years ago +7 / -0

He’s an electronics repairman, not a surgeon, which half this shit’ll probably require

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▲ 6 ▼
– ParadigmShift2070 6 points 2 years ago +6 / -0

he gets 70 year old NYC fines directly beamed to his brain because he forgot to turn on the offline mode after an update

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▲ 33 ▼
– deleted 33 points 2 years ago +33 / -0
▲ 25 ▼
– jenniferq8 25 points 2 years ago +25 / -0

Saw a funny post on twitter that said Elon's tweet reads like the note you find on a desk in a horror game.

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▲ 12 ▼
– Knife-TotingRat 12 points 2 years ago +12 / -0

Yeah, it's like those entries you can find regarding the development of the Robobrains when you raid the Robco building in the robots questline in Fallout 4.

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▲ 4 ▼
– SparkMandrill83 4 points 2 years ago +4 / -0

https://twitter.com/daveysockrocker/status/1752203989901533647

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▲ 2 ▼
– jenniferq8 2 points 2 years ago +2 / -0

lmao perfect

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▲ 18 ▼
– Shill4Hire 18 points 2 years ago +18 / -0

Well, this is good news for people with full body paralysis and even some brain damage elements that it might be able to bypass in time.

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▲ 22 ▼
– Kaarous 22 points 2 years ago +22 / -0

They're the Trojan horse for what is inevitably a monstrous, inhuman evil.

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▲ 17 ▼
– Daucus9 17 points 2 years ago +17 / -0

Wasn't this the shit that was frying a bunch of animal brains what the hell is this doing with human testing already

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▲ 25 ▼
– Grumman 25 points 2 years ago +25 / -0

Allegedly, but I don't believe the allegations. An organisation funded by PETA accused Neuralink of animal abuse, but they also accused Neuralink of withholding the alleged evidence of said alleged animal abuse, which is a roundabout way of saying "We are accusing you without evidence of animal abuse." The U.S. Department of Agriculture found no evidence of animal welfare breaches, and I'd sooner believe them than PETA's less discredited sockpuppet.

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▲ 21 ▼
– Adamrises 21 points 2 years ago +21 / -0

PETA really is one of the few organizations that could make you trust the government whenever a claim comes up.

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▲ 13 ▼
– Grumman 13 points 2 years ago +13 / -0

There's also the government not taking the opportunity to fuck over Elon Musk.

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▲ 17 ▼
– nuggetpatrol 17 points 2 years ago +17 / -0

Just turn your son off and turn him back on again, that'll reboot the system.

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▲ 14 ▼
– rebuildingMyself 14 points 2 years ago +14 / -0

Will it clear the tranny glitch?

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▲ 14 ▼
– Kalamander85 14 points 2 years ago +14 / -0

43% of the time

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▲ 7 ▼
– SpezTouchesChildren 7 points 2 years ago +7 / -0

I love how that number keeps getting higher and higher.

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▲ 14 ▼
– Cyberguy64 14 points 2 years ago +14 / -0

On the one hand, cybernetics are cool. On the other hand, I don't trust anyone with the kind of money it takes to build this sort of thing.

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▲ 7 ▼
– MargarineMongoose 7 points 2 years ago +7 / -0

The further technology progresses, the more I want a Butlerian Jihad.

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▲ 13 ▼
– GuestAccount69 13 points 2 years ago +13 / -0

My full potential is well and fine. I will not pay to feed the ego of one rich guy and his lifetime of failures as husband and father.

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▲ 19 ▼
– KeeperOfTheGate 19 points 2 years ago +19 / -0

You take that back. X AE A-XII Musk, Exa Dark Sideræl Musk, and Techno Mechanicus "Tau" Musk are perfectly normal, well-adjusted children who are doted on by their mother, Grimes. Elon may actually remember they exist sometimes too.

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▲ 15 ▼
– DistilledLife 15 points 2 years ago +15 / -0

tfw you name your children like they're mechas from a high fantasy RPG

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▲ 1 ▼
– Happygo 1 point 2 years ago +1 / -0

Musk sketched me out. Everything about him.

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▲ 11 ▼
– norwegianwikin 11 points 2 years ago +11 / -0

From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the Blessed Machine. Your kind cling to your flesh, as though it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass you call the temple will wither, and you will beg my kind to save you. But I am already saved, for the Machine is immortal… Even in death I serve the Omnissiah.

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▲ 10 ▼
– AlfredicEnglishRules 10 points 2 years ago +10 / -0

I know how to push it. Say it helps people be straight. See what happens.

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▲ 9 ▼
– subbookkeeper 9 points 2 years ago +9 / -0

While Musk himself might not have evil intentions, eventually he'll die and the company will be taken over by someone else.

And you will have to get technology like this at some point. Because everyone else will and you wont be able to partake in society without it. An Amish person can't exist outside of their community in a random city.

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▲ 8 ▼
– toxicbiofacts 8 points 2 years ago +8 / -0

And you will have to get technology like this at some point.

Not really. As long as it will require an invasive brain surgery it will remain a niche. There haven’t been any significant breakthroughs in the field of nanotechnology. The last major one was mRNA vaccines and we all know how that turned out (they were supposed to offer 100% protection against viruses with no side-effects lmao).

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▲ 4 ▼
– subbookkeeper 4 points 2 years ago +4 / -0

Eventually it wont require invasive brain surgery.

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▲ 4 ▼
– spambot 4 points 2 years ago +4 / -0

great, how long until its used to "correct the problem politicans veiw free will as? as is it would make one hell of a cyber weapon imagine someone walking in with a literal virus that compromises shit after it gets in via wireless. or bodyjacking i could see that being illegal alien smuggling 2.0 and thats the nice version of events. imagine ghost in the shell style false memories brainwash some poor shmuck into thinking you got their wife or something when they never had one and send them to do your dirty work.

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▲ 4 ▼
– SarcasticRidley 4 points 2 years ago +4 / -0

Watch him die from a magnet.

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