So yeah, I'm still alive. Still in Sweden. But in a remarkably bad, creepy, deeply unsettling situation. Unfortunately I can't really post about it directly until I'm out, but if you know Sweden at all, you can guess at least which... Part of the country this may be in (it has a reputation for cults)...
Seen the movie Midsommar..? It's not really anything like that, but there is also an eerie level of crossover, in some aspects...
Internet and phone use are heavily restricted, here, as is free time, as is privacy. Hence my lack of posts and comments since I've been here.
While I don't personally have that much power or influence, when I get out of here, I fully intend to expose this shit as best as I can, and as widely as possible. Because this "program" should not be allowed to continue as it has. Or, at the very least, it should not be able to recruit people, internationally, while being wholly dishonest about what it is and what goes on here.
So yeah, that's me. That's what has happened. I fell into a residential cult. Disguised as an "educational program". Because of course I did.
Were you born during an eclipse, in an ancient burial ground by C-section using broken mirror shards or something? Because you have some cosmically bad luck.
And also maybe an underactive weirdar, maybe look into an assistant to vet things for creepy vibes for you.
Good luck getting away. Maybe you can turn this into the next JoeVsElanschool, but without the years of lost freedom and social trauma though.
It's worth noting that my family has involvement in the wider movement of education/philosophy that this place fits into, and is an extreme outlier within...
So I briefly went to a school organized around the principles behind the "movement" when I was a kid, and did some home schooling based around those principles...
When I was that age, most of my friends (that I was allowed to see) were also involved in that... Educational philosophy...
Without saying directly what it is, it's a well-known esoteric Germanic cult with its headquarters in Sweden (this place is the second-biggest in the world, I believe), and schools all over the place.
Pretty much a hippie cult.
So I was perhaps... An easier potential "victim" than someone else who, say, did not come from that background, or who didn't almost certainly have C-PTSD, or didn't have "alternative" ideals, to some extent...
I am almost the perfect victim. Except that I knew, as soon as I arrived here that things were not right. So obviously some part of me, at least, was aware...
I nearly came here seven years ago when I was much younger, and maybe more naive. Thank god that I didn't, is all I will say...
It's a good thing you still have your wits about you not to get sucked in and have an escape plan in motion.
The most dangerous thing about cults are two different things:
Stockholm syndrome and sunken cost, a lot of them start thinking It's in their best interest to be a part of it and then they've given so much to the cause they might as well 'see it through'. Hopefully you're near the border of either Norway or Finland.
Yeah, I... Did "vet" this a bit, but unfortunately I probably chose/relied on the wrong people to vet it...
It's also extraordinarily obscure (because it's a private training organization, not a University), so remarkably difficult to find bad/external reviews...
If I can change any one thing out of this, it will be that. They need someone to speak up about this.
And if they sue me for libel, or try to? Fuck 'em. Once I'm outside Sweden, I'm more than willing to take that on.
I'm already beginning to see things unravel, here (i.e. even their own community/the wider village and town has started to reject them for being "too radical"), so I'm more than willing to be the straw that broke the camel's back...
This thing, whatever it is, is being sold as an "educational program". I sincerely hope that I'm one of the last people/in one of the last cohorts to be duped by that.
We're also mostly being "taught"/brainwashed by alumni from previous years, so yeah, it is that successful at roping people in. Many are intermarried, and a fair number still live in the village/nearby town...
Time for the whole house of cards to come down, I think. Or at least start to.
It won't help me, but if I can try to prevent others from falling into this trap, in future, then at least something positive comes of it...
I've already convinced two young women (who were considering it) not to come here, so in that, I guess perhaps I have done some good.
But yeah, it's... Frighteningly fucked up. But at least I can see that now.
I'm trying. It's more legally, financially and logistically difficult than you might imagine (as I tried to detail, at least in part)...
But yes, that is the plan, ASAP. Once I am (hopefully) in a position where doing that won't have as much long-lasting consequence in my life as doing so right now would, then yeah, I'm outta here.
I've already spoken to the Aus Embassy, in person, and they were like, "Best of luck, but not our problem", so...
Yeah, I... Did "vet" this a bit, but unfortunately I probably chose/relied on the wrong people to vet it...
Not to criticize you, because I'm pretty sure you already realize this, but the more effect something has on your life, the more thorough your vetting should be.
Re: exposing them. Just record as much damaging information as you can.
I've already convinced two young women (who were considering it) not to come here, so in that, I guess perhaps I have done some good.
TRAITOR. You're helping the ENEMY avoid destroying their lives??? [/imp]
I have no idea what exact situation you're in, but from what you've revealed - that you're in a cult in a Sweden - an option you might want to consider is finding a mainstream church and asking for help.
You need to get extract yourself from the situation first, then you can worry anything else (such as "exposing people" or whatever). To get help, you'll need to find people who are reliable and aren't going to cheat you or harm you, and I suspect the best way to find such people in a country you don't have ties with is by turning to genuine Christians.
I did try going to a church full of Swedes about two weeks ago, in a nearby place...
Unfortunately though, it felt even more... "Culty" than some of this does, and also unfortunately, their "denomination" is vaguely involved in this same... Wider movement.
I did not feel welcome there at all. So you're right, but I'll have to keep looking at the different local churches to see if there are less wacky ones, and which have zero association, even tangential, with the cult...
Maybe try a Catholic church if there are any around? It'll still be full of Swedes, but should not be actually "culty" (bearing in mind I don't know what you mean by this term - a lack of familiarity with how the church operates may make it look "culty" to an outsider). And the parish priest should be able to help you in some way, even if it is simply to speak to him in confidence.
I’ve spent a reasonable amount of time in mainline churches (in Aus, mostly). Both Catholic and Anglican. Believe me when I say that this felt very different.
90% of them were elderly, for one thing. And they seemed deeply suspicious of me, and, to some extent, of each other…
Bad juju. But yes, I’ll try and shop around. It was a Steiner-adjacent rural church, so not surprising it was wack…
I’ve never felt quite so… Weirded out by a church in any other country I’ve been to, except maybe India. And Switzerland, where again, it was Steiner-related…
I have unironically pretty much decided to leave (the cult, not Sweden) within the next fortnight, because things somehow got worse, so…
I’ll definitely look into this more once I am physically out of here…
Literally as I was typing these comments up, I got "in trouble" for a totally inane situation involving washing machines (in short, we're only "allowed" to wash our stuff" 3/7 days per week, during our 1 hour break, in a laundry that is a 500 outdoor walk away, in a wash-house full view of the people running the cult), and supply and demand...
That's just an example of how fucked up things are, and why I haven't been able to take time out to post/comment anything...
14 hour days. 1 and a half hour break total, during said day. Sometimes we don't get the full break. Sometimes we go longer than 14 hours. Sometimes we also have to "work" weekends. We have to pay to be here.
Shit is really fucked up. So everyone is stressed, and sad, and angry, and frustrated, all the time. But yet they blame each other (including me, of course), instead of the situation, and the people running the thing/pushing them around...
Yeah, this is what cults are like, folks. So hi, from the belly of the beast.
In the cult? No, because there aren't any Swedes here (yes, really. That is another thing that makes it weird. Literally no one involved, from "participants" to teachers, *is Swedish)...
But outside the cult? Oh fuck yeah. Literally every weekend.
Which is partly why I don't want my visa cancelled, and to get kicked out of the country, quite yet, lol.
I've met some pretty amazing girls. Some Swedish. Some not. But all outside the cult, really, lol...
I'm not sure staying in a cult is worth some weekend blondes, and I say it as quite the appreciator myself. Get out as soon as you can. Can't you just sign up for some Swedish (real) university? Generally they are fairly cheap in Europe, and sometimes even free.
14 hour days. 1 and a half hour break total, during said day. Sometimes we don't get the full break. Sometimes we go longer than 14 hours. Sometimes we also have to "work" weekends. We have to pay to be here.
Mostly manual labour (tending to the fields, cooking from raw ingredients we dug out of the ground/harvested, cleaning of buildings), with some weird indoctrination shit thrown in to cover the "course" content...
But it's largely hard labour. And endless "meetings". And struggle sessions three times weekly, which can range from "privilege" to the most warped interpretation of "consent" that I have ever personally experienced...
Starting manual labour at 7AM (you're not allowed to eat before the manual labour is done. Or have coffee), and then frequently finishing scheduled "trainings" after 10PM is...
Entirely unsustainable. And yet the people running this thing apparently only sleep 5-6 hours themselves (they don't do the manual labour, I should add), so they think that is "normal" and "good"...
Shit's fucked.
One of our "instructors" got lime disease, recently, so she was away for three weeks...
Because that's what happens in places like this, when you don't/can't take care of yourself and your own health...
Mostly manual labour (tending to the fields, cooking from raw ingredients we dug out of the ground/harvested, cleaning of buildings),
I'd almost think it's a Cistercian monastery.
And struggle sessions three times weekly, which can range from "privilege" to the most warped interpretation of "consent" that I have ever personally experienced...
I can't imagine how you have tolerated that. My big mouth would never have let me get away from that unscathed. Or do you think that they would be a physical threat to you?
Or, at the very least, that they would attempt to take my possessions away, with little recourse (no locked doors, no easy way to leave, remote area, no personal cars allowed, etc.).
Thus, each time I leave the site, I take anything that is remotely valuable (I wasn't stupid enough to bring actual valuables, but you get what I mean) with me, because I absolutely do not trust that it will be there when I get back...
They've already vaguely threatened me a couple of times, including for "washing on the wrong day", despite the fact that literally no one else was using the laundry, it was at a time of day when no one had a "booking", and it didn't interfere with anyone at all. Despite that, it warranted a threat...
Or the time I flatly refused to clean (vaccuum, dust and mop) an empty, already clean, unused room, that no one had been in for a week. Apparently it was about "the principle" and obeying orders. But I refused. That went down as well as you can imagine, haha...
So sort of like a monastery, yes. Or the military, but I paid to come here, so...
That's a frightening suggestion. So it's a proper cult then.
Or, at the very least, that they would attempt to take my possessions away, with little recourse (no locked doors, no easy way to leave, remote area, no personal cars allowed, etc.).
I assume that if they start thieving things, they'll get themselves into more trouble. The strategy of a lot of malefactors is to appear as menacing as they possibly can, while never actually doing anything illegal. If you imagine that they'd kill you or steal your stuff, well, that's your problem.
Or the time I flatly refused to clean (vaccuum, dust and mop) an empty, already clean, unused room, that no one had been in for a week. Apparently it was about "the principle" and obeying orders. But I refused. That went down as well as you can imagine, haha...
The principle is that you have to lick the boot.
So sort of like a monastery, yes. Or the military, but I paid to come here, so...
Except that instead of providing a useful service and building character, it's just pure crazy. It's honestly hard to believe that this sort of thing is happening in our Europe. Perhaps the reason that there are very few Swedish people is because they recruit people who are not rooted in the society, and who thus are not as able to defend themselves in the context of that country.
I'd definitely contact the police about this once you're leaving.
That is absolutely what they do, and are doing. From what I can tell, there hasn't been any Swedish "participants" for some years, now. And almost no one in the entire "community", or at least those who we are allowed to speak to, is Swedish at all...
There's one older Swedish lady who lives here who comes along to our "morning singing" (yes really, it's a thing, and it's compulsory. We basically sing "spirit songs"), and this morning she tried to bring a moment of reflection for the two Swedes who were killed, last night...
I helped facilitate that for her, but the other participants laughed at her (like, "What does this crazy broad think she is doing?"), and then the organizers basically pushed her out of the room...
And then I was dragged aside for a struggle session with one of the organizers. For my "Lack of commitment to the group", I guess...
During that, they started actively threatening harm to me, lol.
So yeah, after all this, I've started organizing to leave this weekend, or early next week. I'm done. That was the final straw.
And as you say, once I'm out, I'm absolutely going to do that, as best I can, lol.
There's one older Swedish lady who lives here who comes along to our "morning singing" (yes really, it's a thing, and it's compulsory. We basically sing "spirit songs"),
It might actually be based on monastery practices...
I helped facilitate that for her, but the other participants laughed at her (like, "What does this crazy broad think she is doing?"), and then the organizers basically pushed her out of the room...
So the participants are also literally insane?
During that, they started actively threatening harm to me, lol.
You better have recorded that.
So yeah, after all this, I've started organizing to leave this weekend, or early next week. I'm done. That was the final straw.
Good. Staying in Sweden isn't so great that you should tolerate this.
Essentially it was a "Black-led" cult that somehow infiltrated the Minneapolis whole foods movement during the 70s, and reached the peak of its power in the 80s. The article is largely written about one of the "escapees" from the place, who raised awareness of it...
Basically a cult of PMCs, where actions, behaviour, thoughts, lifestyles, relationships and work where all tightly controlled by the anonymous group leaders. It used many of the same tactics "my" current cult does, and it couched it in a similar veil of "self-improvement" and "leadership"...
The same struggle sessions. The same "uncovering biases" training. And it is literally the group which developed the so-called "privilege walk", which I was also made to do here, early on...
Also weirdly the same obsession with whole grain baking, so that's a weirdly consistent thing with all of these cults (I've visited three other "intentional communities", while here. They've all been cult-like, and they've all had "whole grain bakeries)...
However that one was in a city, and was definitely more... Nefarious and anonymous. This one is not (anonymous). I know who the leaders are. I know who my direct "supervisor", if you will, is. But it is also quite underground, and extremely dishonest about its intentions and on the ground realities...
No way am I staying here for as long as that woman stayed there, in order to write a book, though. I'll find other ways to expose them.
Basically a cult of PMCs, where actions, behaviour, thoughts, lifestyles, relationships and work where all tightly controlled by the anonymous group leaders. It used many of the same tactics "my" current cult does, and it couched it in a similar veil of "self-improvement" and "leadership"...
You really should watch out for both those terms. For one, self-improvement suggests that the people you're trusting are not only good, but that they can teach others how to be good/better. That's almost never the case. And leadership, what is that? Telling others what to do? In this case, being a cult leader.
Just like with making money courses: you don't make money by teaching others how to make money, but by fooling suckers into thinking that you do.
Also weirdly the same obsession with whole grain baking, so that's a weirdly consistent thing with all of these cults (I've visited three other "intentional communities", while here. They've all been cult-like, and they've all had "whole grain bakeries)...
Eh, being pro-whole grain is normal in Europe.
No way am I staying here for as long as that woman stayed there, in order to write a book, though. I'll find other ways to expose them.
Yeah, because even if you did write a book, it probably wouldn't sell. There goes more into that than just having agood sotry.
Is it asatru or one of the more "mother nature calls to us" cults? So many educational experiences out there are like this. I've lived near two in Arizona. They kept claiming to use Navajo spirit knowledge to do things. Even when I told them that the navajos considered them a joke, and I speak Navajo so I could back it up. Such a bizarre set up that always ended with aliens.
Like that, but with more "Eastern mysticism" thrown in...
Somehow it combines critical race theory, "movement theory", karma, homeopathy, mythical beings (specifically ghosts, gnomes and fairies), astrology and all manner of other woo into one big cultic ideal...
But you now know what it is, anyway. Even if you just search the beliefs of the guy who founded the thing (and find a non-Waldorf source), you'll see that the guy was totally wack, as, generally, are many of his followers...
And somehow I've ended up in their second-biggest worldwide hub. In fucking Sweden...
Dude, first rule of fucking OPSEC is don't even give the country you're in. You're using the same account you've always used and because of that, I was able to narrow down to you living in Huonville, Tasmania.
If a random person on the internet can determine where you live, what makes you think a government agent or private detective with access to databanks on information isn't actively following you?
He's your basic bitch liberal normie who just happened to notice how cultish the Australians were being about wokeness and the jab. He's no threat to the regime. He's the poster child for "Why should I care if they're monitoring me? I have nothing to hide."
Yeah, at least a couple of the people here fit a similar description...
Including the "cult leader", if you will. I would be actually unsurprised if he might be. The only times he opens his mouth are to say something nasty, or critical, or condescending, or just... Unnecessarily cruel. Including to his (co-leader of the cult) wife.
I spent a bit of time with his son. Horribly messed-up, nasty young guy, but even from what he told me... I get the feeling that his father may not have treated him particularly well, growing up (not sexually, but in... Many other ways).
Which only solidified my feeling that the father was a real piece of work. Also his dog, who loves me, is absolutely terrified of the guy... While it is always bad to assume, of course, based on the guy's current behaviour patterns..? I'm not surprised.
The son moved to America last week, so he is no longer here...
Finally got around to reading this. Excellent read. Thanks OP. I will be pointing people to do this when they want to understand how and why this shit spreads.
Also, hope you're doing good and will have escaped the cult imminently.
Most of them think they are "queer" or some variety of it. Or have weird beliefs like refusing to touch plastic ("It's bad for the environment") or drive a car (same dumb reason)...
They're also very much in their own heads, and obsessed with woke shit.
One is the daughter of a (Canadian) model. She's gorgeous, and can sing extremely well. But she's also (unsurprisingly) a pretty awful person...
And then there's another incredibly selfish, chain-smoking young ex (?) drug addict, who could also be extremely attractive, if she hadn't already semi-destroyed her body (unfortunately), before she even passes her early 20s, so...
Tis a tricky one.
At the moment I mostly just go and find hot women outside the cult, because, like I said, there aren't even any Swedes in it, lol...
And it's like, incredibly refreshing to just travel to the city and meet a) actual Swedes, and b) actual, normal, not-kooky people, ha...
The cult hates that I do this, nearly every weekend, but it keeps me mostly sane.
If you're half as attractive and personable as you've led on (and they love the ozzy accent), you should be able to convince one of the Swedish girls you meet to let you stay at her house. Maybe gain her sympathy with talk about the cult and she'll even help you find ways to make money. Once you're back on your feet you can ditch her if you want.
f you're half as attractive and personable as you've led on (and they love the ozzy accent), you should be able to convince one of the Swedish girls you meet to let you stay at her house. Maybe gain her sympathy with talk about the cult and she'll even help you find ways to make money. Once you're back on your feet you can ditch her if you want
Great idea. Piss off a woman in a foreign country so that he becomes a target for her, her simps, or the law ("He abused me!").
Yeah, I'm pretty much doing that next week. Except that she's French. But quite literally yes. On it.
I didn't think I was those things before moving here, but believe me, it has been... Much easier than I would expect (outside the cult, that is).
I can be who I want to be here (i.e. not at home), so... Maybe that's it. Or the fact that I actively start conversations, and can hold a convo down (which Swedish men, in general, suck at).
Or maybe it's just the accent and the general confidence that comes with being in your late 20s. I have no idea. But I'm not kidding, it is... Great.
I still find Sweden off-putting. But at least Swedes are... Within the "normal" realm of humanity. Well at least some of them. I've literally come to rely on Swedes and tourists/other EU visitors for normal social contact, because the cult is so totally fucking insane...
Hence weekends. I live for the weekend now. More than I ever expected I would...
I've come to adore Stockholm in comparison to this town, and everything in it...
At least in Stockholm I have relative freedom to... Be myself, to some extent, and to, I don't know, just... Exist? Without someone openly barking orders, or breathing down my neck...
Which is very sad, but... Small miracles.
I would have fled weeks ago if it weren't for that, though, so... Yeah.
So maybe that's actually bad. Anything that makes this bearable enough to not flee is bad. Honestly, if it's remotely the way you describe it, I can't see why you even stayed there for a day.
Pretend to be sick or something - it should be something that cannot be refuted, like a crippling headache. Then prepare your next moves in the time you call in sick.
Honestly though, while I'm not glad I've ended up in this situation, I'm glad I finally came to Sweden, and moved so far away.
I've grown a lot, and I know myself so much better now. And I've met some truly amazing people. Pretty much all of that happened outside the environment of this cult.
I've really just grinned and borne all the bullshit, and then spent weekends (including several Mondays and Fridays, which pissed them off, but IDGAF) seeing and experiencing this part of the world. That has been... Genuinely life-changing.
Hence why I'm no longer complaining about Sweden itself so much. Because while yes, I disagree with so many things in this country, and I think they're on the wrong path, at least... I can find common ground with that.
I can't find that in the cult, and it took me until this last weekend to realize that I no longer even want to try. No matter the cost, as you say, it's time to just say "Fuck you, I'm out. You can't touch me now."
Hopefully that will happen soon.
Ironically one of the participants here is the daughter of a high-level diplomatic couple (Brazil + US). Her father was here on the weekend. I barely got to talk to him, but he left looking horrified, so... Who knows, maybe he'll raise some of this shit that he's seen somewhere?
I'd like to think that I've contributed to that, if it happens. I couldn't say much directly, but I think he saw that... Things here were really that bad.
But he sent his daughter here, so who the fuck knows?
I've grown a lot, and I know myself so much better now. And I've met some truly amazing people. Pretty much all of that happened outside the environment of this cult.
That's actually a good way to deal with this sort of thing. Because no matter what bad thing happens to you, it will make you stronger - to steal Nietzsche's phrase. Even if it's only knowing how to deal with it, and to be careful not to fall in the same trap twice.
Ironically one of the participants here is the daughter of a high-level diplomatic couple (Brazil + US). Her father was here on the weekend. I barely got to talk to him, but he left looking horrified, so... Who knows, maybe he'll raise some of this shit that he's seen somewhere?
You'd expect them to hide it from such 'guests'.
But he sent his daughter here, so who the fuck knows?
Funny you should say that, because they have... Interesting ideas about illness...
According to their understanding of the world, spreading illness faster and to more people means that "Everyone will get it, and then will get over it more quickly". Thus, they don't even cover coughs, or allow sick days.
One of the "organizing team" got what I suspect is Covid, and thus, pretty much deliberately came into work sick, and gave it to all of us. So I've spent the last week or so dealing with that...
I nearly went to hospital on Friday, I was so sick. So I didn't have to even fake it, haha. But I was able to use that time exactly as you say, thank god...
But yeah, while I've been here, one of the girls I've been seeing regularly is a junior doctor (French). Which is incredibly useful, but she's also horrified...
She's kept me going, so far, and I think she'll be helpful in getting out of here permanently...
I have another Swedish girl giving me legal and financial advice, too. So it's ok. It's just that they can only do so much.
But you're right. I was with NZ friends yesterday, and they said much the same. But it wasn't so obvious on the first day. It's extremely secretive, so some of the nastier stuff only became apparent later. Or I just figured it would "normalize" in coming weeks. It never did, though.
Also (massive) sunk cost fallacy, unfortunately.
None of this is new, or unusual, or unique to me. I'm just unlucky enough to fall into it. That is on me. But essentially these sorts of "organizations" are parasitic, and they obviously saw me as a good target/useful idiot...
But they've got my money (i.e. what I paid them for the course), and they have control of my visa. Thankfully I still have everything else, though, and I will not let them take more from me. Just time, I guess.
According to their understanding of the world, spreading illness faster and to more people means that "Everyone will get it, and then will get over it more quickly". Thus, they don't even cover coughs, or allow sick days.
That's basically Sweden's Covid strategy.
But sick days are not just to prevent the spreading of disease, it's so that you can actually call in sick when you cannot work.
Also (massive) sunk cost fallacy, unfortunately.
Realizing it is the first step in combating it.
But essentially these sorts of "organizations" are parasitic, and they obviously saw me as a good target/useful idiot...
Not an idiot, but you have often given me the impression that you are somewhat naive. A lot of people who are gentle and honest naturally assume that the rest of the world is the same, and that's where they go off the rails.
But they've got my money (i.e. what I paid them for the course),
If you paid by credit card, you may be able to get your money back.
Agree on all points. Unfortunately it was by bank transfer (because above a certain threshold, Australian banks understandably limit payment options), so I will have to fight them to get some of the money back, but I only paid for half the course, upfront (because again, I had an inkling something was off), so... It's still an enormous amount of money, but it's less than it could have been, nonetheless...
Re the sick days, see yeah, that's exactly it. But there's a difference between allowing the spread, and deliberately coming to work sick, and coughing on people, and then (as happened today), blaming said people for then getting sick...
Same bitch who gave me the illness (be it Covid or otherwise) told me today that if I took more time off sick, I would "fail" the course, and be asked to leave (because I'm extremely ill, atm). She also told me that my leaving on weekends was no longer allowed, "probably" made me sick, and showed that my priorities were wrong.
So I said, "Ok, how about I go to a doctor, or a hospital, and get evidence for you?". At which point she freaked the fuck out about the concept of even going to hospital...
Anyway, this shit went on and on, with her trying to snafu me, at which point I just said "I'm done with this", and walked out.
After that, I decided that this weekend will be my last, here. That was the final straw, lol.
Funny about the naivety thing. I guess that is true, but it's just interesting that I've survived torture, several assaults, a shooting attack and other fucked up shit (yeah, long stories. The attack happened overseas), and yet, I still fell for this one.
Like I said, family and friends, who I vetted this through, and even former (non-Waldorf) teachers, let me down, here...
But I mostly just wanted to come to Sweden. I thought this was my best chance, and in a sense, I was right. But in no way has "being in Sweden" proved to be worth the rest of it, unfortunately...
So yeah, I'm still alive. Still in Sweden. But in a remarkably bad, creepy, deeply unsettling situation. Unfortunately I can't really post about it directly until I'm out, but if you know Sweden at all, you can guess at least which... Part of the country this may be in (it has a reputation for cults)...
Seen the movie Midsommar..? It's not really anything like that, but there is also an eerie level of crossover, in some aspects...
Internet and phone use are heavily restricted, here, as is free time, as is privacy. Hence my lack of posts and comments since I've been here.
While I don't personally have that much power or influence, when I get out of here, I fully intend to expose this shit as best as I can, and as widely as possible. Because this "program" should not be allowed to continue as it has. Or, at the very least, it should not be able to recruit people, internationally, while being wholly dishonest about what it is and what goes on here.
So yeah, that's me. That's what has happened. I fell into a residential cult. Disguised as an "educational program". Because of course I did.
Were you born during an eclipse, in an ancient burial ground by C-section using broken mirror shards or something? Because you have some cosmically bad luck.
And also maybe an underactive weirdar, maybe look into an assistant to vet things for creepy vibes for you.
Good luck getting away. Maybe you can turn this into the next JoeVsElanschool, but without the years of lost freedom and social trauma though.
It's worth noting that my family has involvement in the wider movement of education/philosophy that this place fits into, and is an extreme outlier within...
So I briefly went to a school organized around the principles behind the "movement" when I was a kid, and did some home schooling based around those principles...
When I was that age, most of my friends (that I was allowed to see) were also involved in that... Educational philosophy...
Without saying directly what it is, it's a well-known esoteric Germanic cult with its headquarters in Sweden (this place is the second-biggest in the world, I believe), and schools all over the place.
Pretty much a hippie cult.
So I was perhaps... An easier potential "victim" than someone else who, say, did not come from that background, or who didn't almost certainly have C-PTSD, or didn't have "alternative" ideals, to some extent...
I am almost the perfect victim. Except that I knew, as soon as I arrived here that things were not right. So obviously some part of me, at least, was aware...
I nearly came here seven years ago when I was much younger, and maybe more naive. Thank god that I didn't, is all I will say...
It's a good thing you still have your wits about you not to get sucked in and have an escape plan in motion.
The most dangerous thing about cults are two different things:
Stockholm syndrome and sunken cost, a lot of them start thinking It's in their best interest to be a part of it and then they've given so much to the cause they might as well 'see it through'. Hopefully you're near the border of either Norway or Finland.
Yeah, I... Did "vet" this a bit, but unfortunately I probably chose/relied on the wrong people to vet it...
It's also extraordinarily obscure (because it's a private training organization, not a University), so remarkably difficult to find bad/external reviews...
If I can change any one thing out of this, it will be that. They need someone to speak up about this.
And if they sue me for libel, or try to? Fuck 'em. Once I'm outside Sweden, I'm more than willing to take that on.
I'm already beginning to see things unravel, here (i.e. even their own community/the wider village and town has started to reject them for being "too radical"), so I'm more than willing to be the straw that broke the camel's back...
This thing, whatever it is, is being sold as an "educational program". I sincerely hope that I'm one of the last people/in one of the last cohorts to be duped by that.
We're also mostly being "taught"/brainwashed by alumni from previous years, so yeah, it is that successful at roping people in. Many are intermarried, and a fair number still live in the village/nearby town...
Time for the whole house of cards to come down, I think. Or at least start to.
It won't help me, but if I can try to prevent others from falling into this trap, in future, then at least something positive comes of it...
I've already convinced two young women (who were considering it) not to come here, so in that, I guess perhaps I have done some good.
But yeah, it's... Frighteningly fucked up. But at least I can see that now.
Or you could just hightail it out of there?
I'm trying. It's more legally, financially and logistically difficult than you might imagine (as I tried to detail, at least in part)...
But yes, that is the plan, ASAP. Once I am (hopefully) in a position where doing that won't have as much long-lasting consequence in my life as doing so right now would, then yeah, I'm outta here.
I've already spoken to the Aus Embassy, in person, and they were like, "Best of luck, but not our problem", so...
I'm working on it, to say the least.
Not to criticize you, because I'm pretty sure you already realize this, but the more effect something has on your life, the more thorough your vetting should be.
Re: exposing them. Just record as much damaging information as you can.
TRAITOR. You're helping the ENEMY avoid destroying their lives??? [/imp]
I think the problem is being in a cult (such as Australia) removes the ability of people to realize what cults are and avoid them.
Paying the minimal amount of attention to what he's saying, it's got more red flags than a red flag convention.
Is this you?
I have no idea what exact situation you're in, but from what you've revealed - that you're in a cult in a Sweden - an option you might want to consider is finding a mainstream church and asking for help.
You need to get extract yourself from the situation first, then you can worry anything else (such as "exposing people" or whatever). To get help, you'll need to find people who are reliable and aren't going to cheat you or harm you, and I suspect the best way to find such people in a country you don't have ties with is by turning to genuine Christians.
I did try going to a church full of Swedes about two weeks ago, in a nearby place...
Unfortunately though, it felt even more... "Culty" than some of this does, and also unfortunately, their "denomination" is vaguely involved in this same... Wider movement.
I did not feel welcome there at all. So you're right, but I'll have to keep looking at the different local churches to see if there are less wacky ones, and which have zero association, even tangential, with the cult...
But yeah, working on it!
Maybe try a Catholic church if there are any around? It'll still be full of Swedes, but should not be actually "culty" (bearing in mind I don't know what you mean by this term - a lack of familiarity with how the church operates may make it look "culty" to an outsider). And the parish priest should be able to help you in some way, even if it is simply to speak to him in confidence.
I’ve spent a reasonable amount of time in mainline churches (in Aus, mostly). Both Catholic and Anglican. Believe me when I say that this felt very different.
90% of them were elderly, for one thing. And they seemed deeply suspicious of me, and, to some extent, of each other…
Bad juju. But yes, I’ll try and shop around. It was a Steiner-adjacent rural church, so not surprising it was wack…
I’ve never felt quite so… Weirded out by a church in any other country I’ve been to, except maybe India. And Switzerland, where again, it was Steiner-related…
I have unironically pretty much decided to leave (the cult, not Sweden) within the next fortnight, because things somehow got worse, so…
I’ll definitely look into this more once I am physically out of here…
Two of the church ladies (the only friendly ones) did eventually invite me to their amateur theatre performance, this last weekend…
That somehow then fell through (on their end), but still, they obviously thought I was ok.
So I got through, to at least them, but man, believe me when I say… It was an uncomfortable vibe, in that building…
But if you know the Steiner shit, it’s not exactly mainline Christianity anyway, so… Yeah.
You left Aus to get into that?
I want to hear this story. If you come back home I'll buy you dinner.
Literally as I was typing these comments up, I got "in trouble" for a totally inane situation involving washing machines (in short, we're only "allowed" to wash our stuff" 3/7 days per week, during our 1 hour break, in a laundry that is a 500 outdoor walk away, in a wash-house full view of the people running the cult), and supply and demand...
That's just an example of how fucked up things are, and why I haven't been able to take time out to post/comment anything...
14 hour days. 1 and a half hour break total, during said day. Sometimes we don't get the full break. Sometimes we go longer than 14 hours. Sometimes we also have to "work" weekends. We have to pay to be here.
Shit is really fucked up. So everyone is stressed, and sad, and angry, and frustrated, all the time. But yet they blame each other (including me, of course), instead of the situation, and the people running the thing/pushing them around...
Yeah, this is what cults are like, folks. So hi, from the belly of the beast.
Why haven't you left?
They already got to him.
Did you get to meet some hot Swedish blondes in the cult at least?
In the cult? No, because there aren't any Swedes here (yes, really. That is another thing that makes it weird. Literally no one involved, from "participants" to teachers, *is Swedish)...
But outside the cult? Oh fuck yeah. Literally every weekend.
Which is partly why I don't want my visa cancelled, and to get kicked out of the country, quite yet, lol.
I've met some pretty amazing girls. Some Swedish. Some not. But all outside the cult, really, lol...
I'm not sure staying in a cult is worth some weekend blondes, and I say it as quite the appreciator myself. Get out as soon as you can. Can't you just sign up for some Swedish (real) university? Generally they are fairly cheap in Europe, and sometimes even free.
What do you do in those 14 hours?
Mostly manual labour (tending to the fields, cooking from raw ingredients we dug out of the ground/harvested, cleaning of buildings), with some weird indoctrination shit thrown in to cover the "course" content...
But it's largely hard labour. And endless "meetings". And struggle sessions three times weekly, which can range from "privilege" to the most warped interpretation of "consent" that I have ever personally experienced...
Starting manual labour at 7AM (you're not allowed to eat before the manual labour is done. Or have coffee), and then frequently finishing scheduled "trainings" after 10PM is...
Entirely unsustainable. And yet the people running this thing apparently only sleep 5-6 hours themselves (they don't do the manual labour, I should add), so they think that is "normal" and "good"...
Shit's fucked.
One of our "instructors" got lime disease, recently, so she was away for three weeks...
Because that's what happens in places like this, when you don't/can't take care of yourself and your own health...
I'd almost think it's a Cistercian monastery.
I can't imagine how you have tolerated that. My big mouth would never have let me get away from that unscathed. Or do you think that they would be a physical threat to you?
On the latter question, very possibly yes...
Or, at the very least, that they would attempt to take my possessions away, with little recourse (no locked doors, no easy way to leave, remote area, no personal cars allowed, etc.).
Thus, each time I leave the site, I take anything that is remotely valuable (I wasn't stupid enough to bring actual valuables, but you get what I mean) with me, because I absolutely do not trust that it will be there when I get back...
They've already vaguely threatened me a couple of times, including for "washing on the wrong day", despite the fact that literally no one else was using the laundry, it was at a time of day when no one had a "booking", and it didn't interfere with anyone at all. Despite that, it warranted a threat...
Or the time I flatly refused to clean (vaccuum, dust and mop) an empty, already clean, unused room, that no one had been in for a week. Apparently it was about "the principle" and obeying orders. But I refused. That went down as well as you can imagine, haha...
So sort of like a monastery, yes. Or the military, but I paid to come here, so...
It's a mess.
That's a frightening suggestion. So it's a proper cult then.
I assume that if they start thieving things, they'll get themselves into more trouble. The strategy of a lot of malefactors is to appear as menacing as they possibly can, while never actually doing anything illegal. If you imagine that they'd kill you or steal your stuff, well, that's your problem.
The principle is that you have to lick the boot.
Except that instead of providing a useful service and building character, it's just pure crazy. It's honestly hard to believe that this sort of thing is happening in our Europe. Perhaps the reason that there are very few Swedish people is because they recruit people who are not rooted in the society, and who thus are not as able to defend themselves in the context of that country.
I'd definitely contact the police about this once you're leaving.
I think your last paragraph is key...
That is absolutely what they do, and are doing. From what I can tell, there hasn't been any Swedish "participants" for some years, now. And almost no one in the entire "community", or at least those who we are allowed to speak to, is Swedish at all...
There's one older Swedish lady who lives here who comes along to our "morning singing" (yes really, it's a thing, and it's compulsory. We basically sing "spirit songs"), and this morning she tried to bring a moment of reflection for the two Swedes who were killed, last night...
I helped facilitate that for her, but the other participants laughed at her (like, "What does this crazy broad think she is doing?"), and then the organizers basically pushed her out of the room...
And then I was dragged aside for a struggle session with one of the organizers. For my "Lack of commitment to the group", I guess...
During that, they started actively threatening harm to me, lol.
So yeah, after all this, I've started organizing to leave this weekend, or early next week. I'm done. That was the final straw.
And as you say, once I'm out, I'm absolutely going to do that, as best I can, lol.
It might actually be based on monastery practices...
So the participants are also literally insane?
You better have recorded that.
Good. Staying in Sweden isn't so great that you should tolerate this.
Did you read the article, man? I'm re-reading it now, and it's pretty much all in there...
There's a disturbing amount of crossover, honestly...
As all have said - time to go...
I didn't... archives don't work for me, I have to open them in a different browser. And you said that it was 'uncannily similar'.
Oh ok. Here's the original link, if that helps: https://www.tabletmag.com/sections/arts-letters/articles/the-story-of-o-woke-labor-management
Essentially it was a "Black-led" cult that somehow infiltrated the Minneapolis whole foods movement during the 70s, and reached the peak of its power in the 80s. The article is largely written about one of the "escapees" from the place, who raised awareness of it...
Basically a cult of PMCs, where actions, behaviour, thoughts, lifestyles, relationships and work where all tightly controlled by the anonymous group leaders. It used many of the same tactics "my" current cult does, and it couched it in a similar veil of "self-improvement" and "leadership"...
The same struggle sessions. The same "uncovering biases" training. And it is literally the group which developed the so-called "privilege walk", which I was also made to do here, early on...
Also weirdly the same obsession with whole grain baking, so that's a weirdly consistent thing with all of these cults (I've visited three other "intentional communities", while here. They've all been cult-like, and they've all had "whole grain bakeries)...
However that one was in a city, and was definitely more... Nefarious and anonymous. This one is not (anonymous). I know who the leaders are. I know who my direct "supervisor", if you will, is. But it is also quite underground, and extremely dishonest about its intentions and on the ground realities...
No way am I staying here for as long as that woman stayed there, in order to write a book, though. I'll find other ways to expose them.
You really should watch out for both those terms. For one, self-improvement suggests that the people you're trusting are not only good, but that they can teach others how to be good/better. That's almost never the case. And leadership, what is that? Telling others what to do? In this case, being a cult leader.
Just like with making money courses: you don't make money by teaching others how to make money, but by fooling suckers into thinking that you do.
Eh, being pro-whole grain is normal in Europe.
Yeah, because even if you did write a book, it probably wouldn't sell. There goes more into that than just having agood sotry.
It's both. Did the 'style of social interaction" just pop up without rhyme or reason?
I suppose the neo-Marxist ideology may have been grafted onto this "style" but we do not have one without the other.
Is it asatru or one of the more "mother nature calls to us" cults? So many educational experiences out there are like this. I've lived near two in Arizona. They kept claiming to use Navajo spirit knowledge to do things. Even when I told them that the navajos considered them a joke, and I speak Navajo so I could back it up. Such a bizarre set up that always ended with aliens.
Best of luck.
My money is on Waldorf education.
Winner winner chicken dinner. Got it in one.
The most extreme, ideologically-obsessed, kooky version of that you can imagine...
But the fucking thing does not even tell you that it is Waldorf, until after you're in. Because apparently that's how these people roll.
Not that this is unusual for Waldorf/Steiner, but this is a whole other level of... Deception.
Sadly.
Yeah, I'm leaning that way as well.
Like that, but with more "Eastern mysticism" thrown in...
Somehow it combines critical race theory, "movement theory", karma, homeopathy, mythical beings (specifically ghosts, gnomes and fairies), astrology and all manner of other woo into one big cultic ideal...
But you now know what it is, anyway. Even if you just search the beliefs of the guy who founded the thing (and find a non-Waldorf source), you'll see that the guy was totally wack, as, generally, are many of his followers...
And somehow I've ended up in their second-biggest worldwide hub. In fucking Sweden...
lol rip bro. Hope you make it out
Dude, first rule of fucking OPSEC is don't even give the country you're in. You're using the same account you've always used and because of that, I was able to narrow down to you living in Huonville, Tasmania.
If a random person on the internet can determine where you live, what makes you think a government agent or private detective with access to databanks on information isn't actively following you?
Stop treating this website like facebook.
He's your basic bitch liberal normie who just happened to notice how cultish the Australians were being about wokeness and the jab. He's no threat to the regime. He's the poster child for "Why should I care if they're monitoring me? I have nothing to hide."
If you use a phone the governments know exactly where you live, though I guess a lot of you might be VPN, onion only internet browsers?
Wrong town, actually. But you're reasonably close.
I'm really not particularly fussed at this point. I'm not there, right now, anyway...
I'm literally on the other side of the world.
Jadu, Kult är bättre som rollspel än att vara med i.
Anyhow Good luck, I don't keep track on the cults.
You know the place southwest of Stockholm that has a certain "reputation" for cults..? This is there. :-/
Apparently it's quite well known for it. But I stupidly somehow didn't know.
Anyway, tack su micke. Yeah, I've learned a lot about myself, and what I will accept, and what I won't, while I'm here, lol...
I know a guy who was involved with one of those co-op cults. Did not surprise me in the least, guy was a complete psychopath.
Yeah, at least a couple of the people here fit a similar description...
Including the "cult leader", if you will. I would be actually unsurprised if he might be. The only times he opens his mouth are to say something nasty, or critical, or condescending, or just... Unnecessarily cruel. Including to his (co-leader of the cult) wife.
I spent a bit of time with his son. Horribly messed-up, nasty young guy, but even from what he told me... I get the feeling that his father may not have treated him particularly well, growing up (not sexually, but in... Many other ways).
Which only solidified my feeling that the father was a real piece of work. Also his dog, who loves me, is absolutely terrified of the guy... While it is always bad to assume, of course, based on the guy's current behaviour patterns..? I'm not surprised.
The son moved to America last week, so he is no longer here...
I can very much understand why.
Would highly recommend reading the article. That really is what this is like... Combined with added Midsommar/Wicker Man vibes, admittedly...
Finally got around to reading this. Excellent read. Thanks OP. I will be pointing people to do this when they want to understand how and why this shit spreads.
Also, hope you're doing good and will have escaped the cult imminently.
Yeah, but they're all like... Kooky as fuck.
Most of them think they are "queer" or some variety of it. Or have weird beliefs like refusing to touch plastic ("It's bad for the environment") or drive a car (same dumb reason)...
They're also very much in their own heads, and obsessed with woke shit.
One is the daughter of a (Canadian) model. She's gorgeous, and can sing extremely well. But she's also (unsurprisingly) a pretty awful person...
And then there's another incredibly selfish, chain-smoking young ex (?) drug addict, who could also be extremely attractive, if she hadn't already semi-destroyed her body (unfortunately), before she even passes her early 20s, so...
Tis a tricky one.
At the moment I mostly just go and find hot women outside the cult, because, like I said, there aren't even any Swedes in it, lol...
And it's like, incredibly refreshing to just travel to the city and meet a) actual Swedes, and b) actual, normal, not-kooky people, ha...
The cult hates that I do this, nearly every weekend, but it keeps me mostly sane.
Only way I've made it this far, tbh.
So no condoms and women don't drive.
Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
If you're half as attractive and personable as you've led on (and they love the ozzy accent), you should be able to convince one of the Swedish girls you meet to let you stay at her house. Maybe gain her sympathy with talk about the cult and she'll even help you find ways to make money. Once you're back on your feet you can ditch her if you want.
Great idea. Piss off a woman in a foreign country so that he becomes a target for her, her simps, or the law ("He abused me!").
Yeah, I'm pretty much doing that next week. Except that she's French. But quite literally yes. On it.
I didn't think I was those things before moving here, but believe me, it has been... Much easier than I would expect (outside the cult, that is).
I can be who I want to be here (i.e. not at home), so... Maybe that's it. Or the fact that I actively start conversations, and can hold a convo down (which Swedish men, in general, suck at).
Or maybe it's just the accent and the general confidence that comes with being in your late 20s. I have no idea. But I'm not kidding, it is... Great.
So yes. Great plan. My thoughts exactly.
Weren't you earlier complaining about Swedes? I guess they're a breath of fresh air compared to these new people.
Sure is something when you rather want to socialize with the swedes, haha
Yes. Both of those things are true. Sadly...
I still find Sweden off-putting. But at least Swedes are... Within the "normal" realm of humanity. Well at least some of them. I've literally come to rely on Swedes and tourists/other EU visitors for normal social contact, because the cult is so totally fucking insane...
Hence weekends. I live for the weekend now. More than I ever expected I would...
I've come to adore Stockholm in comparison to this town, and everything in it...
At least in Stockholm I have relative freedom to... Be myself, to some extent, and to, I don't know, just... Exist? Without someone openly barking orders, or breathing down my neck...
Which is very sad, but... Small miracles.
I would have fled weeks ago if it weren't for that, though, so... Yeah.
So maybe that's actually bad. Anything that makes this bearable enough to not flee is bad. Honestly, if it's remotely the way you describe it, I can't see why you even stayed there for a day.
Pretend to be sick or something - it should be something that cannot be refuted, like a crippling headache. Then prepare your next moves in the time you call in sick.
Honestly though, while I'm not glad I've ended up in this situation, I'm glad I finally came to Sweden, and moved so far away.
I've grown a lot, and I know myself so much better now. And I've met some truly amazing people. Pretty much all of that happened outside the environment of this cult.
I've really just grinned and borne all the bullshit, and then spent weekends (including several Mondays and Fridays, which pissed them off, but IDGAF) seeing and experiencing this part of the world. That has been... Genuinely life-changing.
Hence why I'm no longer complaining about Sweden itself so much. Because while yes, I disagree with so many things in this country, and I think they're on the wrong path, at least... I can find common ground with that.
I can't find that in the cult, and it took me until this last weekend to realize that I no longer even want to try. No matter the cost, as you say, it's time to just say "Fuck you, I'm out. You can't touch me now."
Hopefully that will happen soon.
Ironically one of the participants here is the daughter of a high-level diplomatic couple (Brazil + US). Her father was here on the weekend. I barely got to talk to him, but he left looking horrified, so... Who knows, maybe he'll raise some of this shit that he's seen somewhere?
I'd like to think that I've contributed to that, if it happens. I couldn't say much directly, but I think he saw that... Things here were really that bad.
But he sent his daughter here, so who the fuck knows?
That's actually a good way to deal with this sort of thing. Because no matter what bad thing happens to you, it will make you stronger - to steal Nietzsche's phrase. Even if it's only knowing how to deal with it, and to be careful not to fall in the same trap twice.
You'd expect them to hide it from such 'guests'.
You should never underestimate the retardation of the rulers. Like raising money for 'refugees' at the funeral of your daughter murdered by a 'refugee'
Funny you should say that, because they have... Interesting ideas about illness...
According to their understanding of the world, spreading illness faster and to more people means that "Everyone will get it, and then will get over it more quickly". Thus, they don't even cover coughs, or allow sick days.
One of the "organizing team" got what I suspect is Covid, and thus, pretty much deliberately came into work sick, and gave it to all of us. So I've spent the last week or so dealing with that...
I nearly went to hospital on Friday, I was so sick. So I didn't have to even fake it, haha. But I was able to use that time exactly as you say, thank god...
But yeah, while I've been here, one of the girls I've been seeing regularly is a junior doctor (French). Which is incredibly useful, but she's also horrified...
She's kept me going, so far, and I think she'll be helpful in getting out of here permanently...
I have another Swedish girl giving me legal and financial advice, too. So it's ok. It's just that they can only do so much.
But you're right. I was with NZ friends yesterday, and they said much the same. But it wasn't so obvious on the first day. It's extremely secretive, so some of the nastier stuff only became apparent later. Or I just figured it would "normalize" in coming weeks. It never did, though.
Also (massive) sunk cost fallacy, unfortunately.
None of this is new, or unusual, or unique to me. I'm just unlucky enough to fall into it. That is on me. But essentially these sorts of "organizations" are parasitic, and they obviously saw me as a good target/useful idiot...
But they've got my money (i.e. what I paid them for the course), and they have control of my visa. Thankfully I still have everything else, though, and I will not let them take more from me. Just time, I guess.
I still have my dignity and my free will.
That's basically Sweden's Covid strategy.
But sick days are not just to prevent the spreading of disease, it's so that you can actually call in sick when you cannot work.
Realizing it is the first step in combating it.
Not an idiot, but you have often given me the impression that you are somewhat naive. A lot of people who are gentle and honest naturally assume that the rest of the world is the same, and that's where they go off the rails.
If you paid by credit card, you may be able to get your money back.
Agree on all points. Unfortunately it was by bank transfer (because above a certain threshold, Australian banks understandably limit payment options), so I will have to fight them to get some of the money back, but I only paid for half the course, upfront (because again, I had an inkling something was off), so... It's still an enormous amount of money, but it's less than it could have been, nonetheless...
Re the sick days, see yeah, that's exactly it. But there's a difference between allowing the spread, and deliberately coming to work sick, and coughing on people, and then (as happened today), blaming said people for then getting sick...
Same bitch who gave me the illness (be it Covid or otherwise) told me today that if I took more time off sick, I would "fail" the course, and be asked to leave (because I'm extremely ill, atm). She also told me that my leaving on weekends was no longer allowed, "probably" made me sick, and showed that my priorities were wrong.
So I said, "Ok, how about I go to a doctor, or a hospital, and get evidence for you?". At which point she freaked the fuck out about the concept of even going to hospital...
Anyway, this shit went on and on, with her trying to snafu me, at which point I just said "I'm done with this", and walked out.
After that, I decided that this weekend will be my last, here. That was the final straw, lol.
Funny about the naivety thing. I guess that is true, but it's just interesting that I've survived torture, several assaults, a shooting attack and other fucked up shit (yeah, long stories. The attack happened overseas), and yet, I still fell for this one.
Like I said, family and friends, who I vetted this through, and even former (non-Waldorf) teachers, let me down, here...
But I mostly just wanted to come to Sweden. I thought this was my best chance, and in a sense, I was right. But in no way has "being in Sweden" proved to be worth the rest of it, unfortunately...