I've come to adore Stockholm in comparison to this town, and everything in it...
At least in Stockholm I have relative freedom to... Be myself, to some extent, and to, I don't know, just... Exist? Without someone openly barking orders, or breathing down my neck...
Which is very sad, but... Small miracles.
I would have fled weeks ago if it weren't for that, though, so... Yeah.
So maybe that's actually bad. Anything that makes this bearable enough to not flee is bad. Honestly, if it's remotely the way you describe it, I can't see why you even stayed there for a day.
Pretend to be sick or something - it should be something that cannot be refuted, like a crippling headache. Then prepare your next moves in the time you call in sick.
Honestly though, while I'm not glad I've ended up in this situation, I'm glad I finally came to Sweden, and moved so far away.
I've grown a lot, and I know myself so much better now. And I've met some truly amazing people. Pretty much all of that happened outside the environment of this cult.
I've really just grinned and borne all the bullshit, and then spent weekends (including several Mondays and Fridays, which pissed them off, but IDGAF) seeing and experiencing this part of the world. That has been... Genuinely life-changing.
Hence why I'm no longer complaining about Sweden itself so much. Because while yes, I disagree with so many things in this country, and I think they're on the wrong path, at least... I can find common ground with that.
I can't find that in the cult, and it took me until this last weekend to realize that I no longer even want to try. No matter the cost, as you say, it's time to just say "Fuck you, I'm out. You can't touch me now."
Hopefully that will happen soon.
Ironically one of the participants here is the daughter of a high-level diplomatic couple (Brazil + US). Her father was here on the weekend. I barely got to talk to him, but he left looking horrified, so... Who knows, maybe he'll raise some of this shit that he's seen somewhere?
I'd like to think that I've contributed to that, if it happens. I couldn't say much directly, but I think he saw that... Things here were really that bad.
But he sent his daughter here, so who the fuck knows?
I've grown a lot, and I know myself so much better now. And I've met some truly amazing people. Pretty much all of that happened outside the environment of this cult.
That's actually a good way to deal with this sort of thing. Because no matter what bad thing happens to you, it will make you stronger - to steal Nietzsche's phrase. Even if it's only knowing how to deal with it, and to be careful not to fall in the same trap twice.
Ironically one of the participants here is the daughter of a high-level diplomatic couple (Brazil + US). Her father was here on the weekend. I barely got to talk to him, but he left looking horrified, so... Who knows, maybe he'll raise some of this shit that he's seen somewhere?
You'd expect them to hide it from such 'guests'.
But he sent his daughter here, so who the fuck knows?
Funny you should say that, because they have... Interesting ideas about illness...
According to their understanding of the world, spreading illness faster and to more people means that "Everyone will get it, and then will get over it more quickly". Thus, they don't even cover coughs, or allow sick days.
One of the "organizing team" got what I suspect is Covid, and thus, pretty much deliberately came into work sick, and gave it to all of us. So I've spent the last week or so dealing with that...
I nearly went to hospital on Friday, I was so sick. So I didn't have to even fake it, haha. But I was able to use that time exactly as you say, thank god...
But yeah, while I've been here, one of the girls I've been seeing regularly is a junior doctor (French). Which is incredibly useful, but she's also horrified...
She's kept me going, so far, and I think she'll be helpful in getting out of here permanently...
I have another Swedish girl giving me legal and financial advice, too. So it's ok. It's just that they can only do so much.
But you're right. I was with NZ friends yesterday, and they said much the same. But it wasn't so obvious on the first day. It's extremely secretive, so some of the nastier stuff only became apparent later. Or I just figured it would "normalize" in coming weeks. It never did, though.
Also (massive) sunk cost fallacy, unfortunately.
None of this is new, or unusual, or unique to me. I'm just unlucky enough to fall into it. That is on me. But essentially these sorts of "organizations" are parasitic, and they obviously saw me as a good target/useful idiot...
But they've got my money (i.e. what I paid them for the course), and they have control of my visa. Thankfully I still have everything else, though, and I will not let them take more from me. Just time, I guess.
According to their understanding of the world, spreading illness faster and to more people means that "Everyone will get it, and then will get over it more quickly". Thus, they don't even cover coughs, or allow sick days.
That's basically Sweden's Covid strategy.
But sick days are not just to prevent the spreading of disease, it's so that you can actually call in sick when you cannot work.
Also (massive) sunk cost fallacy, unfortunately.
Realizing it is the first step in combating it.
But essentially these sorts of "organizations" are parasitic, and they obviously saw me as a good target/useful idiot...
Not an idiot, but you have often given me the impression that you are somewhat naive. A lot of people who are gentle and honest naturally assume that the rest of the world is the same, and that's where they go off the rails.
But they've got my money (i.e. what I paid them for the course),
If you paid by credit card, you may be able to get your money back.
Agree on all points. Unfortunately it was by bank transfer (because above a certain threshold, Australian banks understandably limit payment options), so I will have to fight them to get some of the money back, but I only paid for half the course, upfront (because again, I had an inkling something was off), so... It's still an enormous amount of money, but it's less than it could have been, nonetheless...
Re the sick days, see yeah, that's exactly it. But there's a difference between allowing the spread, and deliberately coming to work sick, and coughing on people, and then (as happened today), blaming said people for then getting sick...
Same bitch who gave me the illness (be it Covid or otherwise) told me today that if I took more time off sick, I would "fail" the course, and be asked to leave (because I'm extremely ill, atm). She also told me that my leaving on weekends was no longer allowed, "probably" made me sick, and showed that my priorities were wrong.
So I said, "Ok, how about I go to a doctor, or a hospital, and get evidence for you?". At which point she freaked the fuck out about the concept of even going to hospital...
Anyway, this shit went on and on, with her trying to snafu me, at which point I just said "I'm done with this", and walked out.
After that, I decided that this weekend will be my last, here. That was the final straw, lol.
Funny about the naivety thing. I guess that is true, but it's just interesting that I've survived torture, several assaults, a shooting attack and other fucked up shit (yeah, long stories. The attack happened overseas), and yet, I still fell for this one.
Like I said, family and friends, who I vetted this through, and even former (non-Waldorf) teachers, let me down, here...
But I mostly just wanted to come to Sweden. I thought this was my best chance, and in a sense, I was right. But in no way has "being in Sweden" proved to be worth the rest of it, unfortunately...
I've come to adore Stockholm in comparison to this town, and everything in it...
At least in Stockholm I have relative freedom to... Be myself, to some extent, and to, I don't know, just... Exist? Without someone openly barking orders, or breathing down my neck...
Which is very sad, but... Small miracles.
I would have fled weeks ago if it weren't for that, though, so... Yeah.
So maybe that's actually bad. Anything that makes this bearable enough to not flee is bad. Honestly, if it's remotely the way you describe it, I can't see why you even stayed there for a day.
Pretend to be sick or something - it should be something that cannot be refuted, like a crippling headache. Then prepare your next moves in the time you call in sick.
Honestly though, while I'm not glad I've ended up in this situation, I'm glad I finally came to Sweden, and moved so far away.
I've grown a lot, and I know myself so much better now. And I've met some truly amazing people. Pretty much all of that happened outside the environment of this cult.
I've really just grinned and borne all the bullshit, and then spent weekends (including several Mondays and Fridays, which pissed them off, but IDGAF) seeing and experiencing this part of the world. That has been... Genuinely life-changing.
Hence why I'm no longer complaining about Sweden itself so much. Because while yes, I disagree with so many things in this country, and I think they're on the wrong path, at least... I can find common ground with that.
I can't find that in the cult, and it took me until this last weekend to realize that I no longer even want to try. No matter the cost, as you say, it's time to just say "Fuck you, I'm out. You can't touch me now."
Hopefully that will happen soon.
Ironically one of the participants here is the daughter of a high-level diplomatic couple (Brazil + US). Her father was here on the weekend. I barely got to talk to him, but he left looking horrified, so... Who knows, maybe he'll raise some of this shit that he's seen somewhere?
I'd like to think that I've contributed to that, if it happens. I couldn't say much directly, but I think he saw that... Things here were really that bad.
But he sent his daughter here, so who the fuck knows?
That's actually a good way to deal with this sort of thing. Because no matter what bad thing happens to you, it will make you stronger - to steal Nietzsche's phrase. Even if it's only knowing how to deal with it, and to be careful not to fall in the same trap twice.
You'd expect them to hide it from such 'guests'.
You should never underestimate the retardation of the rulers. Like raising money for 'refugees' at the funeral of your daughter murdered by a 'refugee'
Funny you should say that, because they have... Interesting ideas about illness...
According to their understanding of the world, spreading illness faster and to more people means that "Everyone will get it, and then will get over it more quickly". Thus, they don't even cover coughs, or allow sick days.
One of the "organizing team" got what I suspect is Covid, and thus, pretty much deliberately came into work sick, and gave it to all of us. So I've spent the last week or so dealing with that...
I nearly went to hospital on Friday, I was so sick. So I didn't have to even fake it, haha. But I was able to use that time exactly as you say, thank god...
But yeah, while I've been here, one of the girls I've been seeing regularly is a junior doctor (French). Which is incredibly useful, but she's also horrified...
She's kept me going, so far, and I think she'll be helpful in getting out of here permanently...
I have another Swedish girl giving me legal and financial advice, too. So it's ok. It's just that they can only do so much.
But you're right. I was with NZ friends yesterday, and they said much the same. But it wasn't so obvious on the first day. It's extremely secretive, so some of the nastier stuff only became apparent later. Or I just figured it would "normalize" in coming weeks. It never did, though.
Also (massive) sunk cost fallacy, unfortunately.
None of this is new, or unusual, or unique to me. I'm just unlucky enough to fall into it. That is on me. But essentially these sorts of "organizations" are parasitic, and they obviously saw me as a good target/useful idiot...
But they've got my money (i.e. what I paid them for the course), and they have control of my visa. Thankfully I still have everything else, though, and I will not let them take more from me. Just time, I guess.
I still have my dignity and my free will.
That's basically Sweden's Covid strategy.
But sick days are not just to prevent the spreading of disease, it's so that you can actually call in sick when you cannot work.
Realizing it is the first step in combating it.
Not an idiot, but you have often given me the impression that you are somewhat naive. A lot of people who are gentle and honest naturally assume that the rest of the world is the same, and that's where they go off the rails.
If you paid by credit card, you may be able to get your money back.
Agree on all points. Unfortunately it was by bank transfer (because above a certain threshold, Australian banks understandably limit payment options), so I will have to fight them to get some of the money back, but I only paid for half the course, upfront (because again, I had an inkling something was off), so... It's still an enormous amount of money, but it's less than it could have been, nonetheless...
Re the sick days, see yeah, that's exactly it. But there's a difference between allowing the spread, and deliberately coming to work sick, and coughing on people, and then (as happened today), blaming said people for then getting sick...
Same bitch who gave me the illness (be it Covid or otherwise) told me today that if I took more time off sick, I would "fail" the course, and be asked to leave (because I'm extremely ill, atm). She also told me that my leaving on weekends was no longer allowed, "probably" made me sick, and showed that my priorities were wrong.
So I said, "Ok, how about I go to a doctor, or a hospital, and get evidence for you?". At which point she freaked the fuck out about the concept of even going to hospital...
Anyway, this shit went on and on, with her trying to snafu me, at which point I just said "I'm done with this", and walked out.
After that, I decided that this weekend will be my last, here. That was the final straw, lol.
Funny about the naivety thing. I guess that is true, but it's just interesting that I've survived torture, several assaults, a shooting attack and other fucked up shit (yeah, long stories. The attack happened overseas), and yet, I still fell for this one.
Like I said, family and friends, who I vetted this through, and even former (non-Waldorf) teachers, let me down, here...
But I mostly just wanted to come to Sweden. I thought this was my best chance, and in a sense, I was right. But in no way has "being in Sweden" proved to be worth the rest of it, unfortunately...