The Women Who are involuntary Celibates
(www.theguardian.com)
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Caitlin is single at 39 because she is full of shit.
Caitlin is a retard that doesn't realize that women literally have all the power when it comes to sexual dynamics. This isn't some "conspiracy theory;" it's a demonstrable fact. That's precisely why they so often use withholding sex as a type of "punishment" — this isn't lost on them and the overwhelming majority of women know this.
The reason men have "more ways to attract a partner other than looks" is literally out of necessity. The overwhelming majority of women are shallow and base their preferences on social status, materialism, and looks. If a man doesn't meet those criteria, it's a prerequisite to work on himself to stand out in some other meaningful way in order to attract a partner. Women are the ones who choose who they end up with; not men. A women who's average in every possible way will still have more suitors — by orders of magnitude — over a man who matches the same description, because men are much more willing to compromise their standards because they don't have a waiting list of partners at all times. Even relatively attractive dudes will be shot down by many women if they're not successful of able to provide social status.
I'm a relatively attractive guy and I can say from first-hand experience that I've definitely dated down — women who would be considered "less attractive." It wasn't because I was handing out charity or anything shallow and stupid like that, it's because the girls I dated really stood out as exceptional in other ways and I really enjoyed being around them and spending time together. This is the part that's lost on those like her. She has this weird vision of men based on stereotypes and consumer manufactured beliefs, and instead of considering that maybe she's the problem, she automatically assumes it must be everyone else.
She should take into serious consideration that it's not the men that are finding these women; it's the women who are finding these men, since they hold the majority of the power when it comes to forming relationships.
100% nailed it.
Also this...
This is a very common problem across the board for everyone, including both genders.
But you're right that women hold all the power and men are the ones trying to play fetch for the women. There are so many guys who complain about constantly messaging women on dating sites and the women just ignoring them, and then you have women constantly talking about how many times men message them and how they don't like the guys who message them.
If you really look at the social dynamics, though, some of the women were explaining that a lot of guys just don't exude much personality. They fall into the category of saying: "I'm a fairly attractive dude, I have a steady or high-paying job, and I want a pretty wife to do things with."
Lots of generic stuff like that, which means that most women are going to ignore guys who may have some wealth and decent looks but nothing else going for them, especially if she has other suitors who have the same qualities but with something a little extra.
I've always said that between K-5 there needs to be classes built on expressive communication, helping kids learn to express themselves individually, respectfully, and honestly. It's funny that these sort of courses are restricted to college programs specifically about communication (and usually it's about manipulative communication for marketing/sales purposes rather than self-improvement).
So if you have a bunch of socially stunted people, only the ones who standout will garner attention. For women without looks and no personality, she's going to be in the exact same dating caste as many men who have generic profiles or who don't stand out among the herd.
These women are now finding out how hard it is to date when the cards are stacked against them, just like how it's been for ages with men. The only thing now is that larger and larger portions of women are becoming obese in the West, so instead of holding sexual power (the greatest power women hold over men) they don't even have that, and they're now finding that without the power of sex appeal, they have nothing, and so instead of improving they will rot away as femcels.
Exactly. She's literally projecting her shallowness onto potential mates. She's the one who is not going to have a relationship if she doesn't find the men in her life immediately attractive.
I mean, I'm not going to be a hypocrite and pretend that looks don't play a role in what I look for in a partner as well, but it's not at all what women make it out to seem; that it's the only thing men look for. In fact, as previously mentioned, that couldn't be farther from the truth.
But in her case, she's basing her entire view solely on her insecurities. It never actually clicks for her that her self-esteem issues and personality are probably the biggest factor that pushes men away.
Men value looks yes. But we're willing to compromise. More or equally important is kindness, a sense of humor, positivity, peace, meekness, submissiveness, and having common interests.
The women who can't connect or make a relationship work have none of those qualities.
They themselves are looking for men who are strong, powerful, successful, well off, career focused, confident, arrogant, flashy, charming, dominant, leaders, etc.
And they mold themselves into that, thinking that's what men want as well.
Then there they sit with their money, arrogance, condecention, success, dominant personalities, high society habits, and tinder pics next to expensive cars and wonder where all the good men are.
Men aren't turned on by that at all, they are repulsed by it.
The equivalent are boys who think that women like nice, soft, passive, submissive guys, because girls themselves are nice and soft. They end up equally bitter, wondering where all the goof girls are, afterall they should be throwing themselves after someone this kind and obedient and subservient.
The world doesn't work that way.
Sounds like my coworker. She's not that attractive, but moreso because she takes so little care of herself and presents an image that drives people away. Her profile picture is straight hair died red (red in nature always means danger), horned rimmed glasses, no makeup with pale skin because it looks like she never goes outdoors, in a t-shirt. Oh and she has 5 cats.....in a single bedroom apartment. Can you imagine the smell? Oh and no social skills: she often takes comments not directed toward her as insinuating she doesn't know a topic and then over-compensates.
I'm not particularly hung up on makeup or looks, but there are looks that say, "I care about myself" and looks that say, "I have zero self-esteem". Low self-esteem people are dysfunctional in many ways. They're essentially project boats. You're going to dump a lot of time and money into them with little return on your investment.
[man problem], women most affected
It's the perfect excuse to write an article about a tranny's shriveled dick. What's the point in becoming a journalist if you can't write about your degenerate sexual fantasies?
Men are evil, and violent, but women with the same problems are not.
They are sooooo scared of men being violent liars. Why do they want men at all?
Age-wise, these women are all post-wall or quickly approaching the wall. The writer doesn't describe their appearance, so it's safe to say they aren't really keeping themselves healthy.
These women can get "a" man - unless there is something extremely wrong with them. They just still believe they are princesses who shouldn't settle for less than prince charming.
In conclusion, why would a normal man invest the effort in a hypergamic, ugly old woman who assumes he is a psychopath?
Holy shit...is this author a member? Because they are making every excuse in the book for their actions and painting them as victims...
Pathetic.
Holy shit this lady is a goldmine.
Wow...
Dear God.
She’s lying about the problem, of course. No man is going to object to you not cleaning or cooking if you’re paying someone else to do it. You are objecting to men who don’t exceed your education and salary, and that pool is probably looking for a cute 20-something who wants a family.
Those women scream progressive stuck up bitches that think movies and twitter are reality.
On that note:
https://archive.md/csaPU
Or we could just call them "incels" like everyone else since the term was coined by a woman in the first place. Look up "Alana's Involuntary Celibacy Project (AICP)" from the 90s.
So women wants to be big shot successful, the entire corporate world and education caters to them so they are now successful. But now they find out that their personality is completely unattractive to men.
I can only be happy about their miserable lives. Guys marry down and across, women marry up and across, that is evolution.
On a related note, I now have 5 guys, upper management that I know relatively well that divorced their so called high power corporate woman type, married a girl younger and simpler and had 2 kids in the span of 4 years. There is a reason this dynamic works.
Women cannot be involuntary celibate. They hold all of the power in the dating scene/sexual marketplace/whatever you want to call the fuckery that is modern relationships.
Go on any dating app/site, nothing but whales, freaks, and bots with one or two normal women interspersed in. And unless you are a top 10% male, it's guaranteed that any given whale with a snaggletooth has more matches than you, and at least a quarter of those will slam a pig for fun whenever.
This sounds so bizarre for a slavic man like myself. In Poland we laugh in your face, call you Spaślak and move on.
Lmaorofl
I get the impression the author didn't think critically about anything women had to say, and just wrote down collected thoughts. Realistically, that's what passes for "journalism" these days
Eh, there's a few things going on here. There's women who can't get sex and women who can't get relationships (and to have sex within) and some of it is due to the current culture, a lot due to faults of their own. I have no sympathy for males or females being degenerates trying to have casual sex. I have some for people who can't find relationships, i.e. marriage. This is both sexes fault, PC culture has made men more feminine, women more masculine, this is a mismatch that makes neither happy. They also don't know how to interact anymore, meaning less chance to connect. Men and women are different on average, different libidos, men's usually higher, women wanting more of an emotional connection. So each sex's incels look a bit different, though men want connection too, and women sex. She even says: Caitlin points out, not all sex is enjoyable. “Generally, men who aren’t in a relationship with you don’t make it a pleasurable experience,”. So even if you truly believe all women can get sex anytime they want, there's little chance of orgasm, unlike for men where it's generally guaranteed. Plenty of women in committed couples don't have them, let alone in casual sex. Takes more work from females to get the same pleasure. Men tend to value looks/youth (studies have repeatedly shown this), while women value status more, but also looks. Men can work hard in various ways and still get women, even if golddiggers, not so with women. No, even not being overweight and wearing make-up will make all women pretty, certainly not to match the porn expectations of most of these incels. Porn is a big thing here, creates unrealistic expectations, also changes the way men think towards women, and it's not positive and has societal effects. Also bad for their health, only making these men's condition worse, and adding to being more repellent to women (when surveyed women really, really wish their significant others would stop looking at the stuff). Another thing to note, the number of virgins is on the rise but the number of female virgins has always been higher. the number of male ones increased at a higher rate, but again, still lower than females. So, more celibate women out there. Again, I get that male libido is higher, so it probably sucks a bit more. But if they would all stop chasing things they shouldn't, like casual sex, they would be happier. Keep after sin and it will consume you. Women also aren't sleeping around the way incels and redpill types seem to think, the average female has like 2-3 partners, average male 4-6, 4 I think if a college grad. More of that unhealthy porn perspective. It's sad that neither gender can see the other's side, when they both just want connection in the end. As for some of those older women, well, they spent too much time in school, don't want to do much if any of the traditional stuff and have priced themselves out of the market. That's a different problem from the younger femcels who probably are overweight, have mental illnesses (that's about 50% of Liberal women at this point, probably higher for this segment), are sort of plain jane or whatever and can't get a "decent" guy (i.e. not 6"2, one who will make sex pleasurable). I guess I have some sympathy for these people, loneliness is sad. But then again, degenerates, they'll either learn their lesson or not. The women who thought they could have it all and are approaching menopause, probably not. I hate how these people keep hyperbolically calling any male group "terrorists" or "misogynists". Those words are losing all sense of meaning, which is part of their intent. Meanwhile a bunch of immigrants are running around F-ing up the West, and though worthy of the term, aren't labelled as such. Bright side though, they rape a ton, might solve some of these deluded people's problems and give them a whole new set.
This is an interesting attestation that I'm not sure I've heard before.
Care to expand on why settling for a less attractive woman takes an emotional toll?
Is it personal shame and disappointment you feel personally for not achieving better? Social stigma for having someone less valued attached to yourself?
My limited personal experience with dating less attractive women is that they didn't act any more humble or appreciative (I wish I could come up with a better term) and had expectations and demands as though they were of higher status anyway.
It sounds like you're going more for sex than a relationship and have set your sights on low hanging fruit, not that I'm judging, just analyzing.
Of course. Physical attractiveness is important. It's one component for our instinct to determine fertility & fitness for reproduction which is of course the entire reason for our existence. We like young attractive fit women because instinctually that means they are fertile and will produce fit offspring.
Personality is important for long term relationships, not necessarily the ability to reproduce, but certainly it is important to establish stability and an environment for raising a family.
Thanks for the elaboration 👍
Well, they seem not to. Do you not recall that video - hilariously wrong.
Brown, Asian, Black, Lesbian, Fatso?
I didn't really feel like listening to the vapid discussion (or skipping around in the video to re-check the final ranking.)
Dafuq kind of first world problems is this?
Lol, you perfectly exemplify the out of control beauty standards/over importance of looks, so very many men have, completely out of whack with their looks or social status, and more importantly out of whack with basic morality. Plenty of "4" males looking for hot "10" females and thinking they deserve it because "anything less takes an emotional toll and they're nearly in tears they're so degraded". Then they complain when the woman divorces them and they wonder why. Values out of whack. Looks do not make a person. Physical attraction is important, but not to the extent you should be in tears. That's unhealthy and immoral.
you sound fat
You sound like a peach. But no I'm very happy in sizes 2-6 and working out everyday.
Men are far more willing to settle for less than ideal. There's a famous study that shows that women judge other women's attractiveness more harshly than men do. The few men who do have those unreasonable expectations generally just don't date.
You touch on this, but I wanted to expand on it. Most men would be happy with someone who's reasonably attractive, isn't a total bitch, and doesn't have kids (this is close to word for word for what a buddy of mine said). The problem is that feminism has made those women very rare, so only the top 20% of men can get them. But men still settle for women who don't meet those standards, and they come to regret it. The reason for the fat/ugly/single mother acceptance movement is because those women still feel entitled to the top 20%. It's not they can't get men, it's that they can't get the men they feel entitled to despite being a 3 or a 4. So they price themselves out of the market and ask where all the good men went after riding the cock carousel for 20 years. The low quality women feminism has created is probably the biggest reason MGTOW is a thing outside the rigged legal/social environment governing gender relations.
If it's the study I'm thinking of, which I believe was Okcupid, and was quite popular a few years ago then you need to look at it more. The one I'm think of was touted as showing men find a wider range of women attractive, women only like the top 20%, or something like that. But, women were more likely to actually try dating men they did not find attractive, while men kept going for the top females. So, there's what they say, and what they do, for both genders. Also, most women are not sleeping around the way the redpill will have you think, about 2-3 partners, average men having a few more. Yeah, I enjoy the laughs on "wherehaveallthegoodmengone", single moms with 3 kids who are done playing games and want the 666. But that is not the norm. More people than ever are virgins, not dating, not having sex,not having kids, etc. Redpill has lots of good data and proof of sex differences, but it also makes things seem more bleak than they really are and also pushes degenerate behaviour like sleeping around. It's not the way, neither is mgtow, though i get why they feel the way they do. People aren't meant to be alone and neither philosophy will ultimately make men happy or healthy, nor save the West. Don't accept Leftist BS, but don't accept any other type either to cope.
I do not disagree at all that women as a whole have gone south way, WAY more than men, looks-wise, personality wise, in most morals too. We agree on that. I also agree women "price themselves out" earning college degrees then being unwilling to "settle" for someone who earns less, and with the number of males earning good wages dropping, while the number of women earning busy work degrees that pay well, for now, increasing. Heck, plenty of them don't pay well, they just think they're entitled to a certain wage, over production of elites and all, and think any man they date needs to earn more than her phantom wage (not even factoring student loan debt). I even hate fat acceptance. Leftists already ran roughshod through the arts, now they come for fashion and the health industry and I have to watch these fat runway "models" ruining one of the last bastions of beauty I had left and uglifying magazines that used to have some wordclass photography. Nevermind how unhealthy it is and how they're trying to strong arm fitness communities and health professionals into being ashamed for wanting to, and asking people to lose weight. They're literally killing people. Be thankful men know better than to have a fat acceptance movement, by the large, they know if they work hard they can fix it and don't blame others for their self induced misery the way women do. I don't even doubt you're attractive, that's not it. The problem is you should not be to the point of tears because someone else is ugly. That's not moral, that doesn't make them a bad person, you're placing too much importance on looks there, it's wrong. That does not mean though, that you have to date fat people, shaved heads, whatever. I do think beauty standards are way out of whack and unattainable for most women (and yes, men), even so, you have every right to pursue who you want, and should definitely stay away from people with shaved heads and the like, overweight people too. People who eschew societal standards, beauty or otherwise, who lack a sort of basic conformity, tend to have negative genetic personality traits. When redpill types talk about aposematism they aren't wrong. Overweight people tend to be depressed too, not fun to be around, contagious also. Plenty of women do what you did, "date down" in looks, and find what you find, some miserable person who's quite frankly, usually abusive as heck too. It's not good to think dating them is some kind of charity and probably factors in to why the more attractive person was treated that way, but usually the abuse went beyond that. People who have a "fixable ugliness" tend to have something else wrong with them that goes beyond looks, so be careful. The problem is valuing the wrong things (casual sex, looks), over the right things (character, which includes being healthy, and marriage). I know it's very, very hard out there for men, while only quite hard out there for women (I see a lot of effeminate males, see a lot of Liberal males, but plenty of decent men walking round all the time still). I just don't think dismissing legitimate claims out of frustration due to how much harder it is, is factually/morally correct. Especially when both genders want the same thing. I hope you find what you are looking for, and that thing is what is good.