That's not what they want from a man they're in a romantic relationship with. Their idea of "sensitive" is Chad showing emotion but not too much emotion. The boy bands they love so much are a good example of this. If an average man acted that way she'd lose attraction in a heartbeat.
The only reason women want you to talk about your feelings is because they will use them as weapons against you later. I cried when my grandfather died in front of my girlfriend at the time. A few years later, during the breakup, she brought it up as one of the reasons she was 'disgusted' by me. Learned my lesson, only talk through emotional shit with male friends. They understand.
I distinctly remember my grandfather telling me that crying was “never ok”, even when I was like, 5, and seriously injured myself…
But he was Presbyterian as all fuck, and a hard, hard man, so…
Unfortunately that perhaps doesn’t go for all men of that time.
You’d be surprised at how cold some of them were. Though I appreciate that my family are not representative of wider reality. I’ve met plenty of older blokes who were much less… “Stoic” than that.
Yup. It's a catch 22 like all the expectations they have of groups they hate. The sooner you realize they'll hate you know matter what you do and stop catering to them the happier you'll be.
Laughs in country where you can barely even do that…
The problem doesn’t disappear, though. It just means we have more jumpers and hangers…
Unfortunately.
And all they ever do is ban shit. Not look at the reasons why so many men do exactly that. Or indeed they blame the men (and women who do it, too), for “not opening up more” or not “just talking to someone”…
Men don't need therapy, they need someone to show them how to work through their shit and won't treat them like a massive faggot or a monster for having their problems. You know, a dad, a mentor, a good friend.
The pattern is there are a lot of therapists out there who suck at whatever type of therapy they tout, and out of those with skills they still need to be compatible with you. Finding the right therapist is a process in itself.
Yeah, I usually get horribly unsympathetic and indeed sometimes downright detrimental responses (as an example, from years ago, “Actually, I’ve been feeling a bit stressed” Them: “Well maybe Uni’s not for you. It’s not for everyone, you know!”), and/or they just ghost you/phase you out completely…
I’ve slowly learned that unless it’s someone you’re really close to (and even then, be careful), it’s really not worth sharing…
See also: long-term physical illnesses, injuries and ailments, too…
Okay, conversation completed. I have gained information about your current mental state which could be pertinent in near-future event planning, and no further action required on my part. I have been told that's unsympathetic, and on some levels it could be twisted to seem so, but I offered to create solutions, unlike all those useless "sympathetic" people.
Yeah. It was more just… How extreme the responses were…
Not “Ok, maybe I can help with x” or inquiring for further details, just either “Shut up, I don’t want to hear it”, or “Maybe you should drop out of your degree and move back to your hometown”, or similar, which was literally the worst advice they could have given, at the time…
I’ve also had the “go to therapy” comment, like so many others…
That was the end of that relationship, when she wouldn’t even talk, and just insisted on that. Terrible…
What you’re saying you do isn’t… Quite so cold, IMHO. That’s different.
But yeah, it was more just that there was no “Anything I can do to help”.
All I got was “That’s your problem, not mine. I don’t want to deal with it, and frankly, I think you should drop your whole life here because you’re clearly not up to it”.
I have a buddy I can share shit like that with, but we can't do much for each other besides offer sympathy. At the end of the day men's issues are caused by external problems that we need to either solve or get away from. It's good to have someone to bounce ideas off but the whole talk about your feelings shit is gay.
I have a copy of Meditations. Sometimes I will just flip through it, read a random page or so, and repeat. It almost always makes me feel better. It's not like I'm doing any great study, it just feels inspirational or aspirational.
I have not met many, or maybe any, women who enjoy reading Stoic philosophy. It doesn't seem to reasonate with them with the same way that it does reasonate with many men.
My grandmother was a badass. She lived through the Great Depression, raised her younger siblings after her mom died and her dad was an abusive alcoholic drunk. Never went to school past 4th grade. Then, she raised several of her grandkids too when the parents crapped out. When she fell and broke her arm in her 80s, the Dr asked how the pain was on a 1/10 scale (meaning nothing), and that she would just take care of it at home by herself. She was an amazing example of LIVING Stoicism, but she was also basically illiterate. She was tough as nails. I wonder what she would think of modern crap.
I have not sat down and read the whole thing through in order. There are parts that aren't really relevant. But, there's a lot of good wisdom and advice.
"Why don't men talk about their feelings? They are so repressed." Okay, well I don't like it when- "Wow! Men so fragile!"
Every time
Their definition of a "sensitive guy" is essentially limited to simping.
That's not what they want from a man they're in a romantic relationship with. Their idea of "sensitive" is Chad showing emotion but not too much emotion. The boy bands they love so much are a good example of this. If an average man acted that way she'd lose attraction in a heartbeat.
The only reason women want you to talk about your feelings is because they will use them as weapons against you later. I cried when my grandfather died in front of my girlfriend at the time. A few years later, during the breakup, she brought it up as one of the reasons she was 'disgusted' by me. Learned my lesson, only talk through emotional shit with male friends. They understand.
Some might have been.
I distinctly remember my grandfather telling me that crying was “never ok”, even when I was like, 5, and seriously injured myself…
But he was Presbyterian as all fuck, and a hard, hard man, so…
Unfortunately that perhaps doesn’t go for all men of that time.
You’d be surprised at how cold some of them were. Though I appreciate that my family are not representative of wider reality. I’ve met plenty of older blokes who were much less… “Stoic” than that.
But hey, they did their best, I guess.
Yup. It's a catch 22 like all the expectations they have of groups they hate. The sooner you realize they'll hate you know matter what you do and stop catering to them the happier you'll be.
Mens mental health options are suck it up or take a hunting trip with the shotgun and one shell.
Banning feminism would do wonders for male mental health.
Laughs in country where you can barely even do that…
The problem doesn’t disappear, though. It just means we have more jumpers and hangers…
Unfortunately.
And all they ever do is ban shit. Not look at the reasons why so many men do exactly that. Or indeed they blame the men (and women who do it, too), for “not opening up more” or not “just talking to someone”…
It’s terrible, frankly.
Men don't need therapy, they need someone to show them how to work through their shit and won't treat them like a massive faggot or a monster for having their problems. You know, a dad, a mentor, a good friend.
Therapy is showing you how to work through your shit, after identifying what your shit is.
Tell that to all the therapists who think being a man is the source of my shit.
Like people, therapists come in a variety of quality levels. Be selective.
Maybe it can be, but I would agree with all the others here who say it was profoundly useless to them.
I’ve been to a few. None really helped in any way, and two actively made the situation worse.
The fact that others, from other parts of the world, say the same, suggests a pattern, here, whatever the “theoretical” benefits of the idea…
The pattern is there are a lot of therapists out there who suck at whatever type of therapy they tout, and out of those with skills they still need to be compatible with you. Finding the right therapist is a process in itself.
https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0067/6030/0609/products/dust-bowl-confused.jpg?v=1614722851
Alternatively...
I stopped caring about his feelings right there.
Very long winded reply that can be summed up as "idk". Which means it was better off not said.
Man deserves it for making tiktok videos
Therapy is globohomo's priestly confession and medication is their eucharist. It really is just a gay religion
Howard Stern has been going to therapy three times a week for almost thirty years and he’s crazier and more miserable than ever now.
It's better to cry in a Rolls Royce than a Renault.
For a group that whines how badly men take rejection holy shit. Hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned.
Yeah, I usually get horribly unsympathetic and indeed sometimes downright detrimental responses (as an example, from years ago, “Actually, I’ve been feeling a bit stressed” Them: “Well maybe Uni’s not for you. It’s not for everyone, you know!”), and/or they just ghost you/phase you out completely…
I’ve slowly learned that unless it’s someone you’re really close to (and even then, be careful), it’s really not worth sharing…
See also: long-term physical illnesses, injuries and ailments, too…
I'm a doer, not an idler.
"I've been stressed."
-> "Anything I can do to help?"
"No."
Okay, conversation completed. I have gained information about your current mental state which could be pertinent in near-future event planning, and no further action required on my part. I have been told that's unsympathetic, and on some levels it could be twisted to seem so, but I offered to create solutions, unlike all those useless "sympathetic" people.
Yeah. It was more just… How extreme the responses were…
Not “Ok, maybe I can help with x” or inquiring for further details, just either “Shut up, I don’t want to hear it”, or “Maybe you should drop out of your degree and move back to your hometown”, or similar, which was literally the worst advice they could have given, at the time…
I’ve also had the “go to therapy” comment, like so many others…
That was the end of that relationship, when she wouldn’t even talk, and just insisted on that. Terrible…
What you’re saying you do isn’t… Quite so cold, IMHO. That’s different.
But yeah, it was more just that there was no “Anything I can do to help”.
All I got was “That’s your problem, not mine. I don’t want to deal with it, and frankly, I think you should drop your whole life here because you’re clearly not up to it”.
That was… Well, let’s say, worse than cold, lol…
People suck, in general, heh.
I have a buddy I can share shit like that with, but we can't do much for each other besides offer sympathy. At the end of the day men's issues are caused by external problems that we need to either solve or get away from. It's good to have someone to bounce ideas off but the whole talk about your feelings shit is gay.
I’ve never really had that.
I imagine it must be good relief.
See, for me, any time I thought I had a mate like that, they would do something awful, like backstab me, ghost me, or indeed steal shit from me…
I haven’t exactly had a great run, with these supposed “friendships”, unfortunately…
Yup. Why would I want to announce to the world the best ways to hurt me?
Redditards have entered the chat and began sending you 'get help' messages.
This.
Boys need to stop whining so much, and read more from 'Meditations' if they want to become Men.
I have a copy of Meditations. Sometimes I will just flip through it, read a random page or so, and repeat. It almost always makes me feel better. It's not like I'm doing any great study, it just feels inspirational or aspirational.
I have not met many, or maybe any, women who enjoy reading Stoic philosophy. It doesn't seem to reasonate with them with the same way that it does reasonate with many men.
My grandmother was a badass. She lived through the Great Depression, raised her younger siblings after her mom died and her dad was an abusive alcoholic drunk. Never went to school past 4th grade. Then, she raised several of her grandkids too when the parents crapped out. When she fell and broke her arm in her 80s, the Dr asked how the pain was on a 1/10 scale (meaning nothing), and that she would just take care of it at home by herself. She was an amazing example of LIVING Stoicism, but she was also basically illiterate. She was tough as nails. I wonder what she would think of modern crap.
Really common book name. Who wrote Meditations?
Marcus Aurelius.
Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius. Here's the copy I have
https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-New-Translation-Marcus-Aurelius/dp/0812968255
I have not sat down and read the whole thing through in order. There are parts that aren't really relevant. But, there's a lot of good wisdom and advice.
Oh wow, had no idea it was that classic. Thanks.
They don't make 'em like they used to. Because life is soft, and there is nothing to aspire towards.
RIP Grandma!