This is, obviously, exceedingly personal. You don’t have to read it if you don’t want to. And I apologize for it not being… “Newsworthy”.
I’m mainly just angry. And I think this shows, very clearly and close to home, just how shitty all of this has been.
Initially, I couldn’t visit because I was, and am, “inadequately vaxxed”. Then they made it boosters. Then the rules seemingly changed, but my family, my goddamn family, man, prevented me from going in there to see him, except for his birthday last year. Without outwardly saying it, they did it to punish me for my… “Non-compliance”. 😔
Then we all got Covid. But I couldn’t get an “exemption”, because life is shit.
And then, guess what? The whole ward of the nursing home got it anyway, despite none of us (me, or my father, who is “quadruple vaxxed”, or other non-blood relatives) visiting, and despite them being thrice or more “jabbed”…
So, being frail and sickly, the inevitable happened. Though it is important to note that he did not die of Covid, and was allegedly testing negative (having already had it), up to the last few days…
The nursing home wouldn’t let me see him because of the outbreak. My family (mother is his main “guardian”) also didn’t want me visiting (again), and because we don’t even share the same last name (obviously, maternal grandfather), and I can’t afford a lawyer, I hadn’t been able to secure a workaround…
It’s fucking awful. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I haven’t seen him in like, nine months or more. And my family blame me for that. Me.
The worst thing, though, was my Dad’s response: I asked him whether he had been in since I had, seeing as he is “quadruple vaxxed”, and super paranoid about Coof…
To which he said “No, and why would I? I saw him before that.”
As in, no, he didn’t want to, and even though he could, he couldn’t be bothered. This is the same man who attacked me for not visiting enough, for being unvaxxed, for not “supporting your mother enough, at this time”, and for not visiting his mother, who still lives at home, enough…
I just… Fuck these people, man. Fuck my entire family, at this point…
Tl;dr, my grandfather died, and the (supposedly coof-related) evils of the system, and of my family, prevented me from saying goodbye. For months… 😞
I’m so angry about this that it, unsurprisingly, changes my… “Attitude” towards my family.
No more Mr “Nice Guy”. It’s time to get real. They’re sick, and twisted, and they’re clearly never going to change. Unfortunately, I’m not sure I can forgive this one. Not for a long time, anyway…
Frankly, I’m just… Done.
Fuck them. Fuck them all. 😕
And fuck the society that thinks this sort of shit is “acceptable”.
I’m going to add a bit: this is not the first time.
A few years ago, before Covid, a family friend’s mother died. I was interstate. Rather than telling me, they waited until I arrived back, weeks after the funeral, to tell me that she died, and I missed it. But worse than that - they sent flowers on my behalf, without even telling me. The family friend (my age) was so upset when she learned I had no part in that, that she actively refuses to talk to me, now…
At the same time, my cat, my cat (not theirs) died, while I was away, after years of neglect and abuse by them, and when I came back and asked where he was, they just laughed. And abused me when I got, understandably, upset and angry about the whole thing. That was the same day I learned about the death of the family friend. They didn’t even bury him. They just… Chucked the body (as far as I’m aware). As you do…
And then they euthanized my dog, later that same year, without telling me, or allowing me to say goodbye. They denied it for years, though it was patently obvious. I only found out from the horse’s mouth, when they were, bizarrely, telling the then-owner of the dog they then decided to “adopt”… Who should, frankly, have run a mile, but didn’t…
That happened again (the family friend thing), during Covid, except that I was in the state, and even in the same city, but they didn’t think I was “close enough”, to my childhood best friend, anymore, to warrant being filled in…
Yeah, they’re monstrous. Let’s be clear about that…
I’m not exaggerating, and this isn’t new. 🤦🏻♂️
You wonder why I’m so fucking angry, so often?? Try growing up with that sort of parents, and extended family…
I actually think you're rather pleasant and friendly.
But holy hell, what a horror-show.
Ya seriously, I've read every word and all I can think is that this dude has been done real dirty.
Sorry to OP for having to have gone through that, but know that in the end I am sure we all learn the truth. The grandfather(RIP) knows who did, and felt, what. Peace be on all involved.
When I was just a young'n, I had a similar(although no where as severe) issue with my "family" and I couldn't handle it. I couldn't consolidate that my family whom I am supposed to trust with my life and who had always told me that they "love me" - act and behave in a 180 degree difference. That was until one day, in an arcade of all places.
It was the 90's and arcades were still a thing. I was playing something(wonderboy?) and this big rasta started playing alongside. We started chatting and for some reason I told him about shitty life. He told me, in such a calm and relaxed manner something I have always held close. Where-ever that Rasta is today - God love him !
He told me - "There are shitty people all the world over. You will find them in school, in work. In this area and that place over there. Sometimes you even find them in your family. Don't worry about them. Life is between you and Ja, the others are just testing your resolve. They are your allies, they just aren't aware of it yet so keep yourself calm and centred. Don't let those others interfere with expressing your love of life".
Prayers to you OP. I trust you will find your calm centre. Be at peace.
what the fuck man
why did you still give these people the time of day? something's obviously wrong with them.
This is so horrible and you have my deepest sympathies for what you have had to go through.
This kind of stuff is exactly what I fear from my family and why I have ensured that I am completely independent from them since I turned 18. The covid nonsense has just made everything even worse. My family used to be fairly logical and reasonable, but more and more has happened to seemingly indoctrinate them down this path that pushes them away from me.
I hope that you are able to find new people and pets to provide the support that you deserve in your life.
We can't chose our Family but we can chose to be part of the Family.
My Grandparents both died during the "Plandemic" Old age, I couldn't leave this fucking country. The fucking idiots in this country elected the fucking moron that destroyed our rights. Canada. Last time I was back visiting I didn't see them for 20+years and deep down I knew it would be the last time I would see them.
Fuck it man, I hate this stupid ass country and the people in it. I don't fly the Flag and I curse everyone in it. I hope this whole shit show collapses so I can take out my revenge on these people one day.
All I have to give is my updoots and a kind comment. Sounds like they were arseholes from the beginning and Covid gave them an excuse they wouldn't need anyway. Hope you can get past it and find happiness elsewhere, my dude.
I drew the line with my leftist whack job family many years back. Fuck them.
My family did the car thing too, dude, ha…
Because my grandmother never learned to drive (yeah, there’s all manner of weird shit like that…), so it was all too easy for my mother and her siblings to take that away, even without his consent…
They literally had his license taken away, and then sold the car… 😳
So anyway, I’m… Really sorry that happened to your friend, and their grandfather/great-uncle, but I really, really, really get it…
Like, holy shit, that hits close to home (except they didn’t even wait until he died, to do that, here)…
So hmm, I guess that tells you something, hey?
I'm starting to get why you've got such an advanced case of black pill overdose. You're surrounded by shitty people.
I'm sorry you missed the chance to say goodbye to those you loved, and they were denied time with you.
At this point, I can only hope there's something on the other side that's better than the raw deal that human existence appears to be.
Thanks dude. Yeah, I’ve… Ive seen some very bad shit. Shit I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Not my worst enemy, not even my family (though abuse definitely is multi-generational, in this case. But that stops with me).
At some point it becomes… Hard to keep up with it. And yes, hurt people hurt people, as the saying goes. Unfortunately…
I agree with your last statement. I hope so, too.
I’ve seen dementia destroy two lives, now. I’ve seen just how bad it gets (obviously, in this case, prior to October last year). I’ve seen just how much toxic family will use that situation to abuse and manipulate. And I’ve seen just how bad the… “Aged care” sector is, in this supposedly “extremely wealthy” country.
Honestly, I just hope he was comfortable, at the end (the problem being, of course, that I only have the word of my family), and I hope that my grandmother can cope.
Other than that… He’s free, now. I’m free, now. Free of another tie, to this place, and to this family.
I’m ready to let that burden go, I think. Time to move towards something better.
At the moment, I’m not sure my “family” deserve to be a part of that. But so be it.
The curse (of abuse, pain, guilt, shame, resentment and blame) stops here.
Make peace with him in spirit, and his spirit will feel that. Physicality may be the plane that binds us but it doesn't have to be the end all be all. My uncle died early into lockdowns (unrelated) and my grandmother was distraught for months for being unable to see him (took most of the year just to get them to give his ashes), but that's how she eventually made peace with it.
And as for the rest of the family, they have chosen their side. Let them rot in it. I know everyone around here is very pro-family because of how anti the Left is, but familism is a prison you don't need to be trapped in.
Condolences.
Hold him close in your mind, and he'll be there.
As for the rest of your family, they sound like toxic garbage, and you'd be best to burn your bridges with those cuntcakes.
I guess I didn't realise. Mine went late May. Norway had no rules, we came and went into the hospital as we wanted in those last days, no one ever asked for vax status.
Sorry dude.
I'm sorry you had to go through this but here is my long view take on it. A lot of people were taken in by the scamdemic, they may .. or may not .. figure this out later. You can hope that they do but only time will tell.
In the meantime the most important thing you can do is carry on with your life. That's it. Nothing magical and no epic ending. Just keep on keeping on.
That said I will of course be spending my future years reminding the dims (tactfully and through Socratic method..) that they had the wrong take all along. I will know that they know when they do either of two things. They admit it upfront, or they go radio silent anytime the topic is even hinted at.
Live long and prosper...
How exactly does this make sense? If there's an outbreak there, how can you be a threat to the residents? Of course, this is just bureaucratism run amok. We're doing it cause it's the rules, and it's the rules because it's the rules.
As bad as things are elsewhere in the world, this is a reminder that they can, incredibly enough, get worse.
But regardless, my condolences for your grandfather. My advice would be to not get out of your way to pick fights with your family because of what they have done here, they are your family after all. At the same time, never allow them to blame you when it is undeserved. Time will probably make them realize, although I never know with all the crazy stuff over there.
Remember a few months back when I said my uncle’s “partner” went off at me, at dinner, at a restaurant, because I refused to confirm my “vaccination” status to her..??
She got so aggressive she nearly threw her drink at me. While I did my best to remain calm, throughout.
Because I deserved “guilt and shame”, apparently, for not playing the stupid conformity game, and being a good little sheep (yes, yes, irony), like her and her children (not related to me, obviously)…
That’s how… Twisted it is, here. Sick, twisted and demented, over this stupid fucking virus.
Because it’s a small, isolated, insular place full of largely old people, and “woke” young “refugees” (not literally) from other parts of the country…
It’s not a good place to be.
I think it was late last year that I posted about this: there was a guy here who “escaped” hotel quarantine, at one point, and there were calls in the media to burn his house down (because he was poor, so no loss to them, apparently). Never mind the calls on Reddit and Facebook to literally lynch him…
At that point, you begin to realize that a place has become so psychotic, so… Obsessed with some sort of “health purity” and ideological conformity (the best word, that encapsulates all this, is probably “safetyism”. Or (bad) “scientism”, if you prefer) that it just isn’t salvageable…
Like fucking Salem or Waco or Jonestown or something. Just with 100 times the population…
Yikes indeed…
That's the first thing I thought of. I thought it was odd to begin with, but maybe your family is strange even by Western standards. No offense.
LOL. I thought the worst was that guy who had COVID and then... horror of horrors, GOT IN AN EMPTY ELEVATOR! That apparently merited posting the video everywhere. It honestly looks dystopian. Rank tyranny.
With all this said, I still think the place has its merits. It is certainly full of natural beauty (like, I suppose, Washington State and Oregon, to an extent), and some nice things, and it definitely has its upsides. I can see why people move here.
But for me… It’s a place that makes me unhappy, full of pain, bad memories, serious cultural… Problems, and people that actively hurt me, when I am around them…
It’s really hard to explain that to people (because tourism here is massive, and that will always offset whatever complaints I have about the place), especially outsiders.
I honestly don’t think people, locals or not, quite understand why this place causes me so much pain. But hopefully people here have seen… Enough of what I’ve explained about it, to at least understand why I just… Can’t live in this place anymore. Even short term.
I’ve tried. Multiple times. Since I first left. But it just… Isn’t for me, I guess?
Fuck, I imagine this is exactly how people feel about New England (Maine, NH, etc), or what, fucking Wales, or something…
Everyone has their Wales, lol (Sorry, Cymru). This is obviously mine…
Yeah, I thought the rules were insane, too, tbh…
I’ve tried going over it in my mind, but I don’t quite get it, either.
But dude, remember that this is a country where they let actively virulent, but supposedly not contagious, medical staff (!!) return to work, six months ago, when they “ran out of staff”, but wouldn’t let the “unvaccinated” return to work, in the same hospitals, even now. Even though the jig is up…
Which… Cannot be explained by logic. It’s pure… Evil. There isn’t any logical way to explain that, other than “We want you to fucking starve and die, because you haven’t complied. This isn’t about the virus, and we don’t give a shit that you know that, now.”
Australia is fucked, dude. 😔
Almost no policy is based on logic. That people will die is of no consequence to them, as long as they will not be held accountable for it - and they will not be. It's the same everywhere.
When you're not going to be held accountable, why not let people die? Unless you have a conscience, but these are politicians we're talking about. I take it as a given that they are evil. The only question is how the evil will manifest.
This is why it's so self-defeating to attach yourself to one stupid party and then shill for it. So many evils are defended because of that. People need to understand that politicians in general are bad, and that they are your enemy, so you need to hold them - all of them - accountable to make sure they do as little damage as possible.
The whole West is fucked. I suspect that even relatively based places like Poland will slowly get corrupted over time. Honestly, I'm close to preferring living in the Middle East now, which greatly disturbs my parents who fled that hellhole.
The only people I care about on this planet are my parents. Once they are gone, this world can burn.
You should not associate with creatures that do not deeply care about you -- if you continue to do so, you only have yourself to blame. I echo others' sentiments about hard separation (do not ever, ever look back).
No amount of money, hedonism, emotional blackmail, or social appearances are worth it in life.
Yes, do not associate with people who make your life worse. It's common sense.
Remember this the next time one of these fucks want something from you.
Best thing you can do is make a new family or group of friends that will have just as many if not more healthy relationships that those you have with them.
The equal offset would neutralize the pain.
Fs in chat m8.
I've got a grandmother, only grand- left, who I've not seen in over two years for similar reasons. From what I hear from the one person who IS allowed to visit her, her Alzheimers took a HARD turn for the worse when they decided to lock everyone up and have no personal interactions (who'd have thought personal social interactions were important to maintaining social mental state?), she likely wouldn't recognize me anymore anyways, but yeah, shit sucks.
Yours sounds even more shitty.
I don't often advocate burning bridges, but creating distance is probably the right way to go about things for your case. Despite the insane inflation, the job market is still pretty decent in many states, skilled and unskilled.
You love, without fear. And jettison all who show that they do not do that too. Surround yourself with Christ's joy: that's all that will make it thru anyway. Sorry about your grandfather; he's waiting for you, now.
I'm sorry to hear that, man.
I cannot fathom the behaviour of your family. Your father, for instance ... I get on reasonably well with my father-in-law. I'm not sure I'd make regular visits to the man in hospital - he's a proud man - but I'd bloody well check!
Thanks man, I appreciate it. Really. And yeah, I honestly found that… Pretty harrowing, myself, dude.
It was so… Openly callous, too? Like, to just… Say that as a throwaway line, and then immediately move on like everything was okay..?
I just walked away, and went off to do some of my own work. I couldn’t even fathom putting up a response to that, today. 😕
And then he acted like everything was normal, a couple of hours later.
But hey, I know my parents are narcs. I’ve known that for a long time. I think I was around… 13/14 when I started making (unsuccessful) plans to get out…
But yeah, this hits hard.
They’ve spent most of today, when I’ve seen them, bitching about the nursing home staff (literally), and about my grandmother (as in, the wife).
They won’t even let me contribute to the funeral “slideshow” they intend to make. Nah, apparently they would rather ask my cousin.
This is also pretty terrible: the nursing home wants his (now “former”) room totally cleared by Monday. Monday…
I gather his body must be in the morgue, but shit, Monday?? It’s Saturday here, now. I will have barely had time to process this shit, before two days time…
And my family won’t even allow me to help with that task, because I’m “unvaxxed”. So I can’t even see his room without him in it…
The whole thing is pretty fucked up, hey?
Honestly, if they are genuine narcissists, the best path to take is simply to bug out. They won't fix themselves and you can't.
This was never about "science" or "protecting the vulnerable", since vaccinated people have a higher case rate than unvaccinated people.
It was always about punishing and coercing you for not obeying the irrational demands of the government.
Sorry for your grandpa.
Thanks for all the kind words, peeps. I really appreciate it. Genuinely.
In a surreal irony, the nearest city decided to blast fireworks tonight (possibly as part of a singing festival, but idk, could just be midwinter)…
Was really, really bad timing. And naturally freaked the dog out.
But yeah, at this point, if I didn’t laugh, I would cry. So… Laugh at all the bullshit, and try, as I am, not to… Blame myself, I guess.
It’s so ludicrously awful that slipping into self-blame, or “What if I did this? What if I did that? Why is it ME in this situation?” just… Makes it worse.
I’m really not sure that there is that much I could have done. Unfortunately…
Sympathies. I can relate, because I have an aunt in a care home here in Ireland. This country is extremely cucked with regards to covid and vaccinations, but for a stretch until late last year - until next door Britain reversed their more authoritarian stances, not unrelatedly - it looked like it was going to get even worse and we would go the Australia route. At that time, the care home sent out a message or two announcing a change in policy, which said that I wouldn't be able to visit my aunt if I was unvaxxed. I visit her weekly, tend to basically all her affairs, withdraw money for her, etc. since she's unable, so this really wasn't viable.
Like your grandfather's home, they've gone into a kind of lockdown with limited or window-based visiting several times, and I'm pretty sure this was a result of covid brought into the facility by a fully vaxxed carer (indeed one admitted to me on the phone last year that he was vaxxed and it didn't prevent him catching covid, so one of those lockdowns may have been because of him).
When speaking to the carers on the phone about this, I announced clearly and uncompromisingly that I wasn't getting vaxxed, that I considered it useless at best, so what now? Going to deny me from seeing the person I do everything for? Hearing this they wrung their hands, consulted internally for a bit, and then let me know that actually, this directive comes from on high, but it's sort of discretionary, it's not binding, and we know who you are, so I guess, just, continue to visit anyway... and you know, heh, whatever I guess ¯_(ツ)_/¯
So with that, and Ireland's gradual shift towards a reversal away from the vaccine pass and other retarded aspects of the lockdowns, I was able to resume normal visits. I did have to provide a negative test for a couple of weeks before they dropped that policy too. But I sometimes reflect with dread on where I would have been forced to take things if they had dug in to an extreme, or if they eventually head in that direction again. Since then I've had one of the carers admit to me that she's unvaxxed, too, so there are sometimes sympathisers in unexpected places, even healthcare facilities in '90% vaccinated' (-who knows if this is true) Ireland.
Through this time I was already very well-equipped with knowledge about the shittiness of the vaxx and I suggest you should be too. It might not do much good when your entire country jumps the parapet and goes full gaylord, as in the case of Australia, but in the context of petty bureaucrats who know you and regularly have to meet your gaze, being able to logically and viciously eviscerate their proposed policies might go some way to making sure they exercise 'discretion'. Certainly I think it could help in arguments with family like yours. Nobody close to you is going to keep bringing it up if they keep getting humiliated and sent away redfaced every time.
As unvaxxed, when faced with the possibility of being shut out of aspects of life due to this status, we really have no option to be quiet and polite about this sort of thing when faced with it. There is no room to retreat; as you've seen, the battlefront extends up to and into every person's family. It is a war being waged on our psyche by absolute fucking retards who don't deserve spit. Humiliation and shame is the primary weapon that worked on most of them in getting the jab, so it can't hurt applying some of that in the arguments you use in your own defence. For a while last year, whenever I saw a cop car in the high street I would wonder how long it would be until their duties would include checking my vaxx pass. I had to consider what I would do in such a society and I had some firm answers in mind. Well we didn't end up there, yet, but with anyone who's prepared to waddle into that hellhole willingly, and make your life difficult through their own cultish obeisance, you have to be prepared to enlighten them on what absolute cunts they are, and how unbending you are.
I'm so sorry man. Maybe this is just my stubborn blood in me, but I would never forgive them. I would probably never talk to my family again honestly; any that had a hand in the bullshit preventing you from seeing him at least. These people need to understand that this isn't a game and that their actions have consequences.
We live in a dystopia where people instantly gave away any shred of humanity they had for safety from a mostly harmless virus.
This story, while personal, is quite relevant to the times we live in. Sorry it's happening to you dude.
You're nicer than I am. If my family pulled that shit I'd be burning bridges and salting the earth. Trying to take the high road out would probably result in them lying about who's fault it is anyway, so I'd make my exit so extreme it would be unbelievable to a third party if it ever even happened. They'd be the ones blocking all contact with me. And then after re-establishing myself elsewhere where I couldn't be found I'd go out of my way to make their life such hell that they'd have to move just so I wouldn't have phone numbers or addresses to continue making their life hell.
Yeah, it is getting to that point, honestly…
I guess part of the reason that I… Stayed in touch, is because they held the “key” to seeing gramps before he died (as I said previously). Now that’s gone..?
I’m very much there with you, dude.
Funeral will be hell. It was last time (other grandfather), and I fully expect it will be again. My cousin uses family death chances to get in all the abusive rage she’s held in, against me (for just… Not being exactly like her, I guess), in the lead-up, so…
Once that’s all done? I’m so, so done with it all.
I’ll feel bad leaving my dog and sheep, here (I’ve been thinking about that for months), and especially for not being there for grandma (wife of the deceased), but…
I just can’t do it anymore, hey? It’s simply not… Emotionally or mentally sustainable. Unfortunately…
Hah yep. Pet sheep. Doesn’t live inside, lol. It’s in a paddock, out the back.
I’ve had sheep since I was… Around 6, I think. More than 20 years. There’s always been at least one sheep present. Mainly just to eat the grass, and keep it down (was a horse property).
I call this one Ben. His twin brother, Bill, died a while back. As did the next sheep, called Bozo, of all things (not my idea), who I adopted. They die… Too often. So he’s the last one.
Dunno. It’s just one of those things, for me. Some people have horses, or pigs, or cows. I, inadvertently, have sheep.
As Tony says, it’s just a thing, in this part of the world, lol.
Most people in the countryside out here have some sort of furry thing, whether it’s sheep or cows or goats or horses or donkeys, lol!
Honestly, I don’t even know why, haha. Just is.
Also, I would add, doing a tracheotomy (see: M* A* S* H* ) on a sheep is fucking horrible… Seriously…
As is burying the fuckers. Because they sadly die really easily…
Much like horses. Honestly… Probably wouldn’t recommend, for most people.
Dogs and cats are much easier, generally speaking. Though Ben is healthy, I think, so that’s… Something.
Maybe you would if you knew where he was from.