This is, obviously, exceedingly personal. You don’t have to read it if you don’t want to. And I apologize for it not being… “Newsworthy”.
I’m mainly just angry. And I think this shows, very clearly and close to home, just how shitty all of this has been.
Initially, I couldn’t visit because I was, and am, “inadequately vaxxed”. Then they made it boosters. Then the rules seemingly changed, but my family, my goddamn family, man, prevented me from going in there to see him, except for his birthday last year. Without outwardly saying it, they did it to punish me for my… “Non-compliance”. 😔
Then we all got Covid. But I couldn’t get an “exemption”, because life is shit.
And then, guess what? The whole ward of the nursing home got it anyway, despite none of us (me, or my father, who is “quadruple vaxxed”, or other non-blood relatives) visiting, and despite them being thrice or more “jabbed”…
So, being frail and sickly, the inevitable happened. Though it is important to note that he did not die of Covid, and was allegedly testing negative (having already had it), up to the last few days…
The nursing home wouldn’t let me see him because of the outbreak. My family (mother is his main “guardian”) also didn’t want me visiting (again), and because we don’t even share the same last name (obviously, maternal grandfather), and I can’t afford a lawyer, I hadn’t been able to secure a workaround…
It’s fucking awful. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I haven’t seen him in like, nine months or more. And my family blame me for that. Me.
The worst thing, though, was my Dad’s response: I asked him whether he had been in since I had, seeing as he is “quadruple vaxxed”, and super paranoid about Coof…
To which he said “No, and why would I? I saw him before that.”
As in, no, he didn’t want to, and even though he could, he couldn’t be bothered. This is the same man who attacked me for not visiting enough, for being unvaxxed, for not “supporting your mother enough, at this time”, and for not visiting his mother, who still lives at home, enough…
I just… Fuck these people, man. Fuck my entire family, at this point…
Tl;dr, my grandfather died, and the (supposedly coof-related) evils of the system, and of my family, prevented me from saying goodbye. For months… 😞
Remember a few months back when I said my uncle’s “partner” went off at me, at dinner, at a restaurant, because I refused to confirm my “vaccination” status to her..??
She got so aggressive she nearly threw her drink at me. While I did my best to remain calm, throughout.
Because I deserved “guilt and shame”, apparently, for not playing the stupid conformity game, and being a good little sheep (yes, yes, irony), like her and her children (not related to me, obviously)…
That’s how… Twisted it is, here. Sick, twisted and demented, over this stupid fucking virus.
Because it’s a small, isolated, insular place full of largely old people, and “woke” young “refugees” (not literally) from other parts of the country…
It’s not a good place to be.
I think it was late last year that I posted about this: there was a guy here who “escaped” hotel quarantine, at one point, and there were calls in the media to burn his house down (because he was poor, so no loss to them, apparently). Never mind the calls on Reddit and Facebook to literally lynch him…
At that point, you begin to realize that a place has become so psychotic, so… Obsessed with some sort of “health purity” and ideological conformity (the best word, that encapsulates all this, is probably “safetyism”. Or (bad) “scientism”, if you prefer) that it just isn’t salvageable…
Like fucking Salem or Waco or Jonestown or something. Just with 100 times the population…
Yikes indeed…
That's the first thing I thought of. I thought it was odd to begin with, but maybe your family is strange even by Western standards. No offense.
LOL. I thought the worst was that guy who had COVID and then... horror of horrors, GOT IN AN EMPTY ELEVATOR! That apparently merited posting the video everywhere. It honestly looks dystopian. Rank tyranny.
With all this said, I still think the place has its merits. It is certainly full of natural beauty (like, I suppose, Washington State and Oregon, to an extent), and some nice things, and it definitely has its upsides. I can see why people move here.
But for me… It’s a place that makes me unhappy, full of pain, bad memories, serious cultural… Problems, and people that actively hurt me, when I am around them…
It’s really hard to explain that to people (because tourism here is massive, and that will always offset whatever complaints I have about the place), especially outsiders.
I honestly don’t think people, locals or not, quite understand why this place causes me so much pain. But hopefully people here have seen… Enough of what I’ve explained about it, to at least understand why I just… Can’t live in this place anymore. Even short term.
I’ve tried. Multiple times. Since I first left. But it just… Isn’t for me, I guess?
Fuck, I imagine this is exactly how people feel about New England (Maine, NH, etc), or what, fucking Wales, or something…
Everyone has their Wales, lol (Sorry, Cymru). This is obviously mine…