13
simian 13 points ago +13 / -0

Wait, is that an actual in game change? I thought it was some liberals’ renderings of “realistic proportions.”

26
simian 26 points ago +26 / -0

This is where that “NO! You can’t make us wear uniforms because what we wear is how we express ourselves!” bullshit goes. Just institute uniforms. Unisex uniforms at that, so you don’t get the trannies insisting they need the outfit which corresponds to their faggy self identified gender.
Just a bunch of drab, prison style jumpsuits. With luck, it might even discourage the lonely milfs from banging their students.

5
simian 5 points ago +5 / -0

I’ll assume all of these numbers were supplied by the patriarchy and are completely fake. Well, except the salary info, since of course the patriarchy will underpay women because they’re evil. https://www.wsn.com/nba/nba-vs-wnba/

19
simian 19 points ago +19 / -0

I’m sure she’s complained about toxic masculinity in the past. And no, there’s no way she’s connecting the dots between her voting patterns and drug addled bums or illegal immigrants running rampant in her community. I’m also sure that when the drug addled bums are NOT in her backyard she refers to them as people experiencing homelessness and insists you’re a bigot for not welcoming them into your backyard.

26
simian 26 points ago +26 / -0

"... who 'steal secrets non-consensually' to gain power."
You can tell some mid-wit wrote this. An intelligent person immediately questions "is there such a thing as 'consensual stealing?'"

17
simian 17 points ago +17 / -0

Oh well. Japan was a nice place while it lasted. As if cratering birth rates weren't bad enough, now the women want to ensure they're fully unappealing by adopting the worst aspects of American feminists.

15
simian 15 points ago +15 / -0

The kicker is right there in the trailer: California and Texas formed an alliance. Fucking really? Were these picked out of a hat or something?

3
simian 3 points ago +3 / -0

The one and only time I ever commented on a Kotaku article was back when Mad Catz was trying to turn around their reputation and produce high end controllers for the fighting game community. Kotaku had a puff piece about how great these new controllers were. I asked how much they were paid for the advertisement. They banned me.

3
simian 3 points ago +3 / -0

Those official controllers are so fucking fragile. Triggers go bad, battery won’t hold a charge, rubber on the thumbsticks wears out. And you get to pay a premium for them, too! But hey, if you’re a scummy bastard who gets an off brand replacement your PS4 nags you about having unofficial hardware.

9
simian 9 points ago +9 / -0

These companies need to learn to rein in their costs.

4
simian 4 points ago +4 / -0

Given there is 0% chance you’ll be fending off hordes of cannibalistic natives (too problematic) and probably not even dinosaurs (unless they have feathers?), I’m sure patriarchy/capitalism will be the only villains provided in the ruleset.

14
simian 14 points ago +14 / -0

Lara Croft travels the world the blog about her experiences with indigenous peoples in the mobile-only sequel, Ex-Tomb Raider!

34
simian 34 points ago +34 / -0

There’s just something patronizing about token amputee.

23
simian 23 points ago +23 / -0

This reminds me of the knock out game. When that was creeping into the news the media ran interference and said it's not a real thing and it's been made up by racists to make blacks look bad because no black has ever hurt someone in the history of the world. Then it got depicted in TV shows and movies but always being done by white guys. So now these happen attacks happen and at least the news acknowledges they occur, but they're still doing the shtick of saying it's only white people.

48
simian 48 points ago +48 / -0

Fascinating. They lose their genitals to the fungus and pretend to be the opposite sex to lure members of the same sex to them to maximize opportunities to spread the infection. Such predatory behavior sounds awfully familiar.

31
simian 31 points ago +32 / -1

Remember when monkey pox (renamed m pox because liberals associated “monkey” with “black people”), which was transferred between “men who have sex with men” started to show up in pets?

33
simian 33 points ago +35 / -2

Women attempt suicide much more often than men, but men actually commit suicide at a higher rate than women. Bitches can’t even kill themselves properly.

31
simian 31 points ago +31 / -0

Lara Croft really embodies how we’ve fallen. In no sane world should “make her unpleasant and take away the rack” have actually been made.

13
simian 13 points ago +13 / -0

No! Let's never forget the 2008 Election in California. Sure, Obama won the state with 61% of the vote, but Proposition 8 was also approved with 52% of the vote. Proposition 8 added that marriage was strictly between a man and a woman to the state constitution. As it turned out the state wasn't as liberal as Californians liked to believe (possibly a bunch of those Mexicans they've brought in, the ones who are super into Catholicism). They had the court overturn the will of the people, though, so it was all good.

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