GK Chesterton, who was a bit fat, was once asked by a woman why he wasn't out at out the front in WW1, to which he replied, "M'am, if you move to my side you'll see that I am out at the front."
He was also a fed poster ahead of his time:
It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged.
Some people leave money for the improvement of public buildings. I can leave dynamite for the improvement of public buildings.
Reminds me of Canada's first PM, John A. Macdonald, who was constantly on a fucking bender. Dude once showed up to a debate completely sloshed and threw up during the middle of it.
His opponent openly mocked him, to which MacDonald replied, "I get sick sometimes not because of drink or any other cause, except that I am forced to listen to the ranting of my honourable opponent."
Of course, if you know anything about his life growing up, it becomes a lot more... understandable.
Ben Franklin, whose "Poor Richard's Almanac" was full of pithy quotes. Lots of them serious, but then you have stuff like "Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead." or “Tis a great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell him his.”
Ben trolled Titan Leeds for years in that almanac. Including publishing a fake obituary for him after predicting his death, then claimed the alive man publishing still was just a ghost or impersonator before finally congratulating him on stopping the charade when he actually died.
Its absolutely ridiculous chantard level shit from a founding father.
“We may have been fighting the wrong enemy all along. the Germans are the only decent people left in Europe. It's a choice between them and the Russians. I prefer the Germans.”
I always forget about Diogenes. Didn't he once, when asked what the man could do for him, tell the Emperor at the time something like, "yes, you can move, you're blocking my sunlight..." ?
Everything the State says is a lie, and everything it has it has stolen.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.
Whom do I hate most among the rabble of today? The socialist rabble, the chandala apostles, who undermine the instinct, the pleasure, the worker's sense of satisfaction with his small existence–who make him envious, who teach him revenge. The source of wrong is never unequal rights but the claim of “equal” rights.
Bertolt Brecht would make a great tankie shitposter.
Once he was criticized for his support of the USSR by someone who pointed to the Moscow show trials. And he said: "The more innocent they are, the more they deserve to be shot."
When the Taliban started their Twitter account after taking back Afghanistan all I could think about was ‘these guys are like the spartans except they won’.
I must give you a piece of intelligence that you perhaps already know — namely, that the ungodly arch-villain Voltaire has died miserably like a dog — just like a brute. That is his reward!
Also God, as He created the platypus, a meme that has yet to be surpassed.
GK Chesterton, who was a bit fat, was once asked by a woman why he wasn't out at out the front in WW1, to which he replied, "M'am, if you move to my side you'll see that I am out at the front."
He was also a fed poster ahead of his time:
Haaaa!
When asked once in an interview what he thought of the “Coming war between man and nature” he said “I hope that man doesn’t hesitate to shoot first.”
I mean he's not wrong. Nature's a cold-hearted bitch...
Winston Churchill was famous for his remarks about women he didn't like.
One called him a drunkard and he said "in the morning I'll be sober. You'll still be ugly."
"Sir, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your tea."
"Ma'am, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."
I remember hearing that one, but forgot who quipped it
Not women, but one particular woman, Lady (Nancy) Astor. Though like Yogi Berra, it's likely he didn't say everything he said.
Reminds me of Canada's first PM, John A. Macdonald, who was constantly on a fucking bender. Dude once showed up to a debate completely sloshed and threw up during the middle of it.
His opponent openly mocked him, to which MacDonald replied, "I get sick sometimes not because of drink or any other cause, except that I am forced to listen to the ranting of my honourable opponent."
Of course, if you know anything about his life growing up, it becomes a lot more... understandable.
He wrote entire books just to shitpost here & there.
<snickers>
Ben Franklin, whose "Poor Richard's Almanac" was full of pithy quotes. Lots of them serious, but then you have stuff like "Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead." or “Tis a great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell him his.”
Ben trolled Titan Leeds for years in that almanac. Including publishing a fake obituary for him after predicting his death, then claimed the alive man publishing still was just a ghost or impersonator before finally congratulating him on stopping the charade when he actually died.
Its absolutely ridiculous chantard level shit from a founding father.
We all know Benjamin Franklin founded America purely for the memes
That motherfucker was based
Ben was also a master printer and ran his own printing shop. The man was a genuine OG shitposter.
He also routinely exercised on the top floor of his house. In the nude. With the windows open.
~:note to self: shitposting Founding father accounts...:~
Good one!
Ben Franklin - Founding Father, scientist, author, printer, inventor, statesman, and still had time to write a three page essay on farts
okay, now that I gotta look up...
General George Patton.
“We may have been fighting the wrong enemy all along. the Germans are the only decent people left in Europe. It's a choice between them and the Russians. I prefer the Germans.”
how the flaming fuck did I forget the previous reincarnation of Donald Trump!?!
That is a very apt description.
Been saying it for a long time, "If General George Patton was reincarnated as a businessman, he'd be Donald John Trump..."
Caligula - the guy who made a horse senator
KEK
To be fair, though, wasn't caligula going mad from mercury poisoning or something?
Diogenes lived in a barrel in the agora. He was unimpressed when Alexander the Great sought him out.
He was known for public urination, masturbation, etc...
When Plato gave "a featherless biped" as a definition for a human being, Diogenes brought him a plucked chicken.
I always forget about Diogenes. Didn't he once, when asked what the man could do for him, tell the Emperor at the time something like, "yes, you can move, you're blocking my sunlight..." ?
It seems that was part of the apocryphal encounter with Alexander
Yeah, that's the one, lol
Also a side note since you mentioned Groucho - I think you should look into the Algonquin round table
Better caricature here. Leave it to wiki to delete this off the main page...
My favorite is Dorothy Parker on the left with the shit-eating grin. A shit-poster if ever there was. Coined the phrase "What fresh hell is this??"
Lmao
oh god, and the cheese wheel...and the fucking assassin... how did I miss jackson!?!
Here, try u/OldHICKory
Mark Twain didn’t even need a computer to shitpost.
This is true... Samuel Clemens was notoriously witty on the printed page...
Oscar Wilde? Mark Twain? Voltaire?
Voltaire roasting Leibniz with Candide is epic shitpost history.
All good options!
The Singer, or the philosopher?🤪
Philosopher. Didn’t know there was a singer
Goth subculture, mostly dark comedy stuff. Folk music style for the most part.
Not bad, really.
I'm pretty sure I can safely just say all of the Founding Fathers.
ANybody specific stand out? lol
How about Neichze?
Nietzsche's takes on women would make impossible blush.
lmao...
Bertolt Brecht would make a great tankie shitposter.
Once he was criticized for his support of the USSR by someone who pointed to the Moscow show trials. And he said: "The more innocent they are, the more they deserve to be shot."
Robin Williams
shit...You ain't wrong....
H.L. Mencken
never heard of him till now, have to do a deeper dive later, thanks!
Ambrose Bierce, Dorothy Parker
niiiiiiceee...
Benjamin Franklin
definitely...
The Spartans. Not one in particular. Just the Spartans.
In particular, Spartans when around Athenians. "One king, one ambassador." "Only Spartan women give birth to real men!"
... ... ... ...Yeah, I can see that, lol.
When the Taliban started their Twitter account after taking back Afghanistan all I could think about was ‘these guys are like the spartans except they won’.
Mozart. most certainly.
Also God, as He created the platypus, a meme that has yet to be surpassed.
It does look like something a pothead or a smartass would come up with... (probably both)
Not surprising, supposedly he was known to be a bit crude in his humor...
C H R I S F A R L E Y BITCHES
Man... guy was hilarious... apparently really sweet though... didn't know he was an irl shitposter, though.
Dick Tuck - Kennedy's King of dirty tricks
https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/30037/how-greatest-prankster-political-history-messed-richard-nixon
"When Nixon ran for President in 1968, Tuck hired pregnant women to show up at his rallies wearing T-shirts that read “Nixon’s the One.”"
Holy fuck, that's hilarious. scummy, but hilarious...
Holy shit!
This thread delivers.
Glad somebody came up with the idea... >w>;;
Yes, the famous Laconic phrase.
Philip II of Macedonia: "Should I come to Sparta as friend or foe?"
The Ephors of Sparta: "Neither."
Philip II of Macedonia: "If I invade Laconia, I shall turn you out."
The Ephors of Sparta: "If."