I've always thought that starting a family would be inevitable because that's what happened with my parents and their parents etc. But given current events (and honestly events that happened before my mom popped me out), trying to start a normal family free from the leftists' tentacles is near impossible. It seems that the only way to start (and maintain) a nuclear family right now in the US is to:
- Play along with leftist propaganda and play to the whims of your lefty wife else she takes more than the kids.
- Become a tradcuck, convert to christianity, move to the rural part of a red state. And both options still leave you vulnerable to the state courts if she wants to divorce for any reason.
Personally, I still want to entertain the idea of a wife and kids. Maybe it's just human nature that I am in denial and MGTOW is the way to go for generations to come. It also doesn't help that I'm currently stuck in Commiefornia where lockdowns are still a thing and everyone I know drank the Democratic kool-aid. So my irl options are limited. I also don't want to use online dating as pretty sure 99% that I am going to match someone who will be a lefty believer. I'm curious what this sub thinks on this topic as it seems that there is mix of MGTOWs and those who are married and have kids.
Both of your concerns stem from a (quite reasonable) fear of marrying a woman who turns out to be crazy in some aspect. Make sure, first and foremost, that the woman you like, likes you more than you like her. This matters, because to use an analogy, the male nature is like a strong steady rock, and the female nature is like moss or tree-root that molds itself around the rock.
As sexist as it might sound, women's opinions and views tend to be most strongly influenced by the dominant male figure in their life. (As an aside, this is why women with no father or weak fathers often turn out badly) So assuming she isn't totally brainwashed, if she genuinely likes you then she will come around to your way of thinking, and not screw you over down the road. This will only happen however if you are firm in your views and she likes you enough to tolerate initial disagreements. If you try to shift position to appeal to her, the rock/tree root effect will not work and she will not change.
She doesn't have to be redpilled from the start, as long as she is a) not a flaming leftist/doesn't have some extremely strong pre existing conviction, and b) genuinely invested in you, then it will work out as she will gradually come around to your point of view. This will not happen instantly, it will take at minimun year or two, but it will happen.
With regard to the raising family part, if you're worried about schools having an indoctrination effect on children, homeschool or find a good non-cucked private school. Don't be overbearing or overly sheltering, it will cause your kids to rebel, but do try to push them in the right direction, i.e. screen out obviously biased children's media.
Alternately, just make sure that as teenagers they find /pol/, and let them redpill themselves.
I saw this through a girl I dated a while back. Seemed normal at first and then she started revealing her feminist beliefs and that she hated all men (even though we matched on tinder lmao). When she said that her dad passed away during her childhood (my condolences to her), that's when everything clicked. Stereotypes always have a kernel of truth to them, as they say haha
I think this might be the most difficult part on finding someone who agrees with me on this, as naturally most people grow up through public school and those that have been homeschooled aren't going out there advertising themselves.
lmfao
My ex was flaming feminist/SJW/BLM/replace franchises with minorities in media but kept it hidden until the last part of our relationship but surprise surprise her relationship with her father was bad because he was weak & her mom was a narcissist
If you see these in her family you fucking run
The second paragraph could also apply to friendships as well. I think the biggest takeaway is to make sure that I don't have the "grass is always greener on the other side" glasses when looking into relocation.
Random thoughts:
This is especially true in STEM fields where I've seen above average girls have an army of simps at their disposal. It's a sad sight to see when a guy runs from the computer lab in the pouring rain to give an umbrella to his queen and he runs back soaked af.
Thanks. Maybe I'll post my update in 5 years and give updates on whether I found someone or just went MGTOW lol
No, but you probably have to make an effort to surround yourself with people who have the mentality and values you'd want. Don't force it, but massage your situation into a better prospect.
If your life includes lots of healthy women in them, and you're demonstrably healthy and productive yourself, your chances of settling down with one of those women increases a lot in short time. Figure out how to put yourself in that scenario, and you're off to the races.
For example, think about how often you've heard of a doctor being married to another doctor. People tend to get involved with others who are inside the group of people they interact with often. Madonna married her fitness instructor, as another example. Repeated interaction makes for sparks. Just make sure you don't have losers in your life when they start flying.
Note: This carries over to your future kids as well. Want them to marry up? When the time is right, make sure they're frequenting places where they'll interact with others above their pay grade, so to speak. Nature takes care of the rest.
So the Parler version of Tinder but hopefully without the deplatforming and honeypot issues lmao
Yeah, women are like that. I have a few articles of them doing that exact thing saved.
The key is to make it an adjacent but correlated factor.
Maybe something like "Shooting Blanks, a gun-owner's dating site.", which would mostly grab the same type of people, but with the understood underlining of "fuck around, find out".
You want to start a normal, nuclear family in this current social climate where heterosexuality is not just abhorrent, but condemned by leftists are large? You're asking for a deathwish.
Trying to start a traditional family in 2021 is like playing Russian Roulette with every bullet loaded. It is only a question of when will you lose not if you will lose.
Society has incentivized women getting a divorce. They have more to gain by being married for a little while and then getting goodies for atleast 18 years via divorcing. Trying to keep a young family together in the west is a fool's errand these days.
Some people here will try to sell on churches as a good option but that is just not true. Christian girls these days are a meme. I went to a catholic college many years back and even then they were mainly degenerate sluts as far as the eye can see. Girls there counted themselves as virgins because they would only do anal... Converting to Christianity just to tradcuck is just not viable.
Importing a woman from Eastern Europe or Asia is not a viable solution either. As soon as you bring the woman to the west she will go turbo hypergamy after making friends here with leftist sluts and she will become immersed in the degenerate Hollywood culture.
Also why the fuck do you want to try to raise kids in the woke rainbow hellhole that is the West? Odds are likely by the time your potential kid turns 18 the state will have indocrinated them into being a marxist or a tranny. Home schooling can help for a while but it is a gamble if they can somehow resist the mainstream media bombardment that is only going to worsen from now on.
It is after considering all of these horrendous factors why I decided to be a MGTOW.
There are plenty and millions of just regular people around who think this wokeness is utter bullshit, both men and women.
Marriage and family are things plenty of people want, it just makes sense. I think one of the biggest problems is not wokeness, but a fear of commitment; seeing marriage as something that can be temporary and undone by a writ of court. If you go into a marriage without absolute belief that you can and will honor your promises forever, you shouldn't marry the person under consideration.
Stand by your word, honor your promises, don't marry anyone who isn't someone you want to go into a lifelong business partnership because a business it is.
I've been married for 35 years. Divorce was never an option because I gave my word when I got married and kept my promise. Ditto spouse. That's how it's done.
I've got news for you. The world changed while you were away.
Exactly - I hate when people give advice when they've been out of the dating scene this long.
We never went on a single date together. I really can't remember being on a date after I left high school. Dating is a shitty way to know people.
So you're offering advice to people while having absolutely no relevant experience on which to draw.
If you don't know what you're looking for, how can you expect to find it?
You're arguing semantics.
It’s pretty difficult to meet anyone when everywhere is closed or will freak out if you are not wearing a mask
This is a component of the lockdown I don't think many people are considering. In addition to all the other ill effects, it also specifically destroys the ability of single young men to find and court women. That's a recipe for violence.
I thought it was intentional but stupid. They want to depopulate Earth, most moral way is to stop people from breeding, how do you do that? Stop dating.
But I don't think they'll anticipate the boomerang effect when it ends. Yeah, some men might get hooked on e-thots and OnlyFans, but most will be wanting the real thing still, and the moment they can, be hitting that scene.
Going to Church is sincerely the best option for most men.
churches are all closed for muh pandemic bro
Nah, it's just not worth the risk. There's no incentive for women to stay married, actually it's better for them to divorce. You may as well ask
Same thing. Actually, the stakes here are better, because when the game is over it's over. With marriage you have to play every day forever.
It might seem slightly contradictory but here goes my two cents:
Man I love my wife so damn much her existence gives me hope. The world isn't over yet, and there's still good women to be had. Just don't settle on whatever comes your way first.
Not sure which state you think this would work in when most single women live in the top ten metros.
Well this is why I tell my plans here: to see which ones will work and which ones will definitely not work
Asian (Japan and South Korea can be iffy with the body count, thanks to degenerate modern western pop and rap, but generally safe) and Eastern European women are your best bet and do NOT bring them back to where ever you live, stay fucking there or they WILL eventually turn into whores or feminists through propaganda, making "friends" and media.
Asian women are literally the worst, turn off the fucking hentai.
Not from what I've experienced, aside from the occasional dragon lady their women tend to far better than the used condoms that call themselves women in the US. Lived in Tokyo, Puket and Surabaya due to work and haven't had to worry about #metoo, crazy man hating feminists or shit gynocentric laws in any of them.....South Korea on the other hand I would avoid, Megalia and WOMAD are "I aborted my male baby" levels of nuts. Too much American and liberal influence there.
Bro I got to ask but are you White?
Asian women go exclusively crazy for White men in Asian countries like Thailand, Indonesia and Japan.
I agree that South Korea is batshit crazy levels of feminism for any male just like you said.
I have seen it myself with my female cousins. They always talk about hating Asian men and they only date White men.
People somehow think that it is White men who have a fetish for Asian women when in reality, I found it is generally the other way around.
Yeah, yellow fever seems to be reversed these days. In the 90's it was legit but now it's white fever. I'm white depending on who you ask since I'm Baltic with pretty heavy Asian genes thanks to Mongol invasions and I'm Austrian. I look like a dirty blonde with mostly Germanic features but my eyes are slightly more almond-ish and hazel and I'm SLIGHTLY more off white than the average white.....Kinda like Ryō Kurusu, if you're a history buff (Half American and Half Japanese fighter pilot during ww2) but with a square jaw. https://military.wikia.org/wiki/Ry%C5%8D_Kurusu
If you look similar to Ryo Kurusu but with a square jaw, then you look handsome no homo.
A man with those features will do well in Asian countries!
On a very unrelated sidenote, Johan Liebert from Monster is one of the greatest of all time anime antagonists.
Best part is, that's kind of my real name. Monster is one of the best and most underrated manga/anime out there.
Truly based name.
Too many people sadly sleep on Monster.
The good news is, if you go the church route, and pick a good conservative church, you're unlikely to find a girl who's going to divorce you. The divorce courts suck, but it's not every woman using them. It's the leftist and wino crowds.
Others have posted the good straight advice already. I'll add some subtextual advice.
Do not engage in "the dating scene". Doing so is the same as picking path #1. If you live in a secret righteous township with no poz anywhere, then maybe you'd have some success, but you'd also be shitting in the well by adding a "scene" where there was a more organic process.
This leads into the subtext for path #2: seek out connections through community engagement. Path #2 is advocating for a number of traditional communities. Consider instead, that you can find non-traditional communities. I don't care if you're dredging with degenerate furry scum, if the community is good enough for you (and you've fucked up if you're in one that isn't), then it'll be good enough for finding someone to connect with.
Further subtext of previous point. Being in a community carries some implications of involvement, interest, and engagement. If you're hunting communities for the express purpose of finding a mate, then just stop and go to tinder because you don't deserve path #2. Being engaged in non-mating/non-dating activities can demonstrate/exercise stability and discipline; chasing immediate rewards is foolish when selecting a mate because lifelong commitments are very not immediate rewards.
I've experienced this first-hand and why I only want to join communities that I actually give a shit about. It's pretty obvious to people if you are there for the community or there for snagging a mate lol.
That's actually a great way of saying it.
Does anyone else have issues reading this post? It cuts off half way through the lines.
The site keeps logging me out. It's having the glitches. Probably covid.
I think when you make the quotes too long, it actually fucks with the layout of the website
Just don't marry crazy. And yes, convert to Christianity.
What about marrying your wife, having kids, moving somewhere far from the retarding influence of the city, working hard, living independently, spending time with your family and acting with integrity make you a "cuck"?
Coming from the other direction, it's hard finding a man worth having kids with. Most are lazy, unmotivated and think having a family is too much hard work or a waste of time.
They refuse to put their foot down and state what they want out of life because they just don't know. Most of them have Mommy issues nowadays as well, so they're looking for a mother figure rather than a wife. They'll sit in their room, masturbating all day and complaining about not having a tradional virgin girlfriend while making no effort to make themselves attracive to the type of woman they want. You'll know these types because they label themselves MGTOW.
If you don't consider yourself to be one of those people you probably won't have any issues attracting anyone. Your issue is going to be filtering out the batshit crazy ones.
You're wrong and naive. Women adapt to their environment. Foreign women aren't magically any better than domestic women.
Most cultures embrace gold digging. Also, the Asian waifu BS is from people who watch too much hentai. Asian women are ruthless and lack empathy.
Why do you think Japan has the most MGTOWs?
Think trying to find women in another county would have new problems as at the point do they love you for who you are OR do they love you for your green card and $$$? I wouldn't be opposed to the idea, just would have to worry about other factors besides leftism.