https://rumble.com/v4ng5sr-njf-on-marriage.html
5 min clip
summary:
- you can't take risks
- you can't trade your comfort for resources toward a greater goal
- women have absolute legal power
- women have no obligations or duties in how they behave
- most of the masculinity exhibited by married men is performative and trivial
- every mechanism to control a wife's behavior is seen as "abuse"
Even knowing all of this, and generally agreeing with it, I still think the costs and sacrifices are worth it as long as you go in for the purposes of having children. Unless you are an incel genius like Isaac Newton or Nikolai Tesla then producing those children and doing your best to impart your values on to them, in spite of everything arrayed against you, is your "greater purpose".
I'm considering making a post on this, but because I've been going to church for basically my whole life, I know a lot of women in various life stages and many of them would fit the definition of a "good woman." If you've been lovingly supporting your husband and kids for 60 years, what more is there to say? AWALT, but Christianity and religion in general tempers the Pandora's chaos of womanhood. That's how civilization has been able to survive for thousands of years.
Civilization has been able to survive for thousands of years by men leading. And not just the good ones who "manned up". Most people agreed on the role of men and women and their nations supported them.
Yep, and without the greater religious force impressing the hierarchy and meaning of life on you, it all falls apart. Ever notice how the satanic is joined with the feminine? Baphomet is half-woman.
There's a lot of things you don't know about the innerworkings of a relationship that you'd never know from casual observation though. Does she put out? Is she actually attractive? It's one thing to stick around for the husband's stability and resources but it's another to actually give men what they want.
That's what I was getting at when I said a significant portion of marriages that don't end in divorce rape are still miserable. Divorce rape is a major risk, but not the only one. If she sticks around is she making the man's life better or is he a beta slave waiting for the sweet mercy of death?
It's also why "look around, all kinds of men are in relationships" isn't a valid counterargument to the 80/20, 95/5, or whatever rule. We know that women will leech off men for resources. They do it to non-Chads all the time. Men want a good relationship, not a grifting whore who works him into an early grave to pay for the lifestyle she feels entitled to while she fucks the guy she actually wants on the side.
Exactly. I'm single and I don't envy 90% of the relationships I observe. It's rare... exceptionally rare, I ever envy a man's relationship with a woman. Most women are women I'm happy to not be in a relationship with.
It goes without saying that nothing is perfect, but if husband and wife love each other and the children grow up healthy, no one can say it's not worth it. Also "is she attractive" is definitely observable from the outside lol.
I didn't just mean physical appearance. But I realized I worded that poorly. I mean like some women can make themselves entirely unbecoming in private such that guys want nothing to do with them. Also, how she dresses for church might be the only time she puts only makeup and clothes other than pajamas. I remember when I was younger so many guys I knew would constantly talk about "how to convince their SO to put effort into their look." Maybe church is the only time but since it's church she also doesn't like to have sex on church days and the guy is royalty screwed.
Point I was trying to make is most people really have no clue how good or bad a relationship is from observing. You need more information on the inside. One of my friends used to have the picture perfect relationship on the outside but he'd confuse in me his wife didn't like to have sex and he'd purchased a new pocket pussy because his wife won't sleep with him. That seems to be a huge problem in more relationships than people realize. He can't get laid meanwhile she's driving the new SUV and he's still driving the beater.
Oh OK yeah, I've seen that scenario before. I can rule out that out at least. Far be it from me to look into other people's sex lives if they don't talk about it, but I talk to these people outside of church as well and it's clear they enjoy being around each other, through good times and bad times. If you have that, all other problems are fixable.
Yeah but if I say all women are categorically bad then I get to excuse not even trying.
They don't have to be categorically bad for marriage to be a shitty investment. The probable downside just has to exceed the probable upside. With a 50% chance of divorce rape and a significant chunk of marriages that last being miserable the odds are not in a man's favor. That doesn't even account for the magnitude of the rewards of a good outcome being massively exceeded by the horrific punishments that a bad outcome entails.
You don't have a 50% chance of divorce rape. That stat always includes people who get married and divorced multiple times.
Make your own decision in regard to marriage. I agree that there are some huge potential pitfalls to avoid and for some it's better not to marry. But the answer isn't as black and white as the mgtow crowd makes it out to be.
It also just looks at stats as a single dot on a graph without considering a single other possible data point.
Such as, many of the same studies have shown that women with 0 prior partners to marriage jump it up to between 70-90% success rates of marriage depending on the income, area, and race. But even having 1 prior drops it by close to 20% with the numbers just getting more dire from there until around 5+ premarital fucks leaves it below 20% success rate.
You can never just look at a single statistic and then base your entire life on the simplicity of it. You must always be dissecting it until you can properly prove how worthless it is (this applies to all meme stats).
That stat includes boomers. That's the biggest reason why it's not valid. Turns out the generation that sold us all up the river and constantly cheated on each other at every opportunity, is skewing the divorce rate.
You know, someone ought to study whether weed impairs pair bonding, because I kinda think it might. That'd go a long way to explaining why their feckless generation is the way it is.
I think it's 30% for first time marriages. To use an autistic math analogy the breakeven point for a rational decision maker would if the bad outcome were 7/3 times (a little more than double) as bad as the good outcome is good. You can't quantify things exactly of course, but I don't think it's hard to argue that the losses from a divorce rape exceed 7/3 of the gains from a good marriage. That's of course assuming the 70% who stay in their marriages all have good marriages, and we know that's not true either, so the analysis leans even more against marriage than my numbers above.