https://rumble.com/v4ng5sr-njf-on-marriage.html
5 min clip
summary:
- you can't take risks
- you can't trade your comfort for resources toward a greater goal
- women have absolute legal power
- women have no obligations or duties in how they behave
- most of the masculinity exhibited by married men is performative and trivial
- every mechanism to control a wife's behavior is seen as "abuse"
Even knowing all of this, and generally agreeing with it, I still think the costs and sacrifices are worth it as long as you go in for the purposes of having children. Unless you are an incel genius like Isaac Newton or Nikolai Tesla then producing those children and doing your best to impart your values on to them, in spite of everything arrayed against you, is your "greater purpose".
There's a lot of things you don't know about the innerworkings of a relationship that you'd never know from casual observation though. Does she put out? Is she actually attractive? It's one thing to stick around for the husband's stability and resources but it's another to actually give men what they want.
That's what I was getting at when I said a significant portion of marriages that don't end in divorce rape are still miserable. Divorce rape is a major risk, but not the only one. If she sticks around is she making the man's life better or is he a beta slave waiting for the sweet mercy of death?
It's also why "look around, all kinds of men are in relationships" isn't a valid counterargument to the 80/20, 95/5, or whatever rule. We know that women will leech off men for resources. They do it to non-Chads all the time. Men want a good relationship, not a grifting whore who works him into an early grave to pay for the lifestyle she feels entitled to while she fucks the guy she actually wants on the side.
Exactly. I'm single and I don't envy 90% of the relationships I observe. It's rare... exceptionally rare, I ever envy a man's relationship with a woman. Most women are women I'm happy to not be in a relationship with.
It goes without saying that nothing is perfect, but if husband and wife love each other and the children grow up healthy, no one can say it's not worth it. Also "is she attractive" is definitely observable from the outside lol.
I didn't just mean physical appearance. But I realized I worded that poorly. I mean like some women can make themselves entirely unbecoming in private such that guys want nothing to do with them. Also, how she dresses for church might be the only time she puts only makeup and clothes other than pajamas. I remember when I was younger so many guys I knew would constantly talk about "how to convince their SO to put effort into their look." Maybe church is the only time but since it's church she also doesn't like to have sex on church days and the guy is royalty screwed.
Point I was trying to make is most people really have no clue how good or bad a relationship is from observing. You need more information on the inside. One of my friends used to have the picture perfect relationship on the outside but he'd confuse in me his wife didn't like to have sex and he'd purchased a new pocket pussy because his wife won't sleep with him. That seems to be a huge problem in more relationships than people realize. He can't get laid meanwhile she's driving the new SUV and he's still driving the beater.
Oh OK yeah, I've seen that scenario before. I can rule out that out at least. Far be it from me to look into other people's sex lives if they don't talk about it, but I talk to these people outside of church as well and it's clear they enjoy being around each other, through good times and bad times. If you have that, all other problems are fixable.