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82
Biden speeches are now being made with a random sentence generator (twitter.com)
posted 4 years ago by SupremeReader 4 years ago by SupremeReader +82 / -0
35 comments share
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Comments (35)
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▲ 39 ▼
– TerpenoidTester 39 points 4 years ago +39 / -0

It is kind of amazing how quickly his cognitive functions have declined.

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▲ 33 ▼
– dagthegnome 33 points 4 years ago +33 / -0

Are you suggesting that Joe Biden, Savior of the Republic, Defeater of Orange Man, is anything other than in full possession of his towering and comprehensive faculties? I can't even deal with the sheer trunalimunumaperzure of your insinuations.

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▲ 12 ▼
– Gizortnik 12 points 4 years ago +12 / -0

We've actually passed Grandpa Simpson at this point.

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▲ 7 ▼
– deleted 7 points 4 years ago +7 / -0
▲ 23 ▼
– cartoonericroberts 23 points 4 years ago +23 / -0

So I was riding the train in Hackenshack, New Jersey, and GladOS was a bad computer, and she ran a bunch of bad tests. And I did juh she an back n'those days to show how things'v changed, and one of the things is if GladOS did tests with you she'd drop you in the fire...

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▲ 14 ▼
– LesboPregnancyScare 14 points 4 years ago +14 / -0

So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time

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▲ 8 ▼
– Gizortnik 8 points 4 years ago +8 / -0

Grandpa Simpson makes more sense than Joe Biden.

5 bees makes a quarter. White onions weren't available due to rationing. Wearing onions was fashionable.

These are coherent statements where each statement logically follows.

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▲ 7 ▼
– Kweebecker 7 points 4 years ago +7 / -0

""So long story short" is a phrase whose origins is long and rambling." -Abe Simpson.

He's still quite there, he's just rambling and lonely. Very different than shrudiffammanadapressure.

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▲ 2 ▼
– Gizortnik 2 points 4 years ago +2 / -0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV_upeO_ihE

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▲ 14 ▼
– JustHereForTheSalmon 14 points 4 years ago +14 / -0

I feel like it would be greatly entertaining to see a side-by-side with the teleprompter.

It's like a one man game of Telephone.

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▲ 8 ▼
– Assassin47 8 points 4 years ago +8 / -0

I'd like to see Joe Biden talking to Joe Biden. They would be speaking their own language. Would they come to some kind of mutual understanding, or would Joe challenge Joe to a pushup challenge?

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▲ 13 ▼
– Featherless_Biped 13 points 4 years ago +13 / -0

In fairness to Biden, that sounds like solid advice.

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▲ 9 ▼
– yvaN_ehT_nioJ 9 points 4 years ago +9 / -0

Am I stroking out or is he storjicn iuc m

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▲ 5 ▼
– Gizortnik 5 points 4 years ago +5 / -0

Yes.

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▲ 9 ▼
– deleted 9 points 4 years ago +9 / -0
▲ 10 ▼
– elleand202 10 points 4 years ago +10 / -0

His anti-dementia drugs dilate his pupils, which is why he is always squinting.

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▲ 5 ▼
– yvaN_ehT_nioJ 5 points 4 years ago +5 / -0

I thought it was the metric ton of botox injected into 'im

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▲ 9 ▼
– Assassin47 9 points 4 years ago +9 / -0

I thought he was possessed.

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▲ 8 ▼
– WinkingPede 8 points 4 years ago +8 / -0

I prefer the image of a room full of monkeys on typewriters.

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▲ 8 ▼
– Baron_Bubbles 8 points 4 years ago +8 / -0

Does anyone have the faintest clue to what he is referencing?

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▲ 28 ▼
– Oppressinator 28 points 4 years ago +28 / -0

He's trying to be snappy and witty and have any form of charisma. What he's barely barely barely saying, with a LOT of copium, is "If your plans are fucked up try something else" with regards to being on a train that's been rerouted. But holy shit if you need to replace one word (computer to commuter), memorize train routes (Portal Bridge is out of the way from a train path he used to take) all to try to identify what the fucking president of the united states is trying to say, it's a complete failure of a speech.

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▲ 29 ▼
– LesboPregnancyScare 29 points 4 years ago +29 / -0

holy shit, you are the retard whisperer.

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▲ 12 ▼
– Oppressinator 12 points 4 years ago +12 / -0

Knowing how to wrangle retards is a useful skill to gradually repair broken people, but at the cost of my sanity. Didn't realize that in my lifetime one of the retards I'd need to figure out would be the Most Popular President In History (TM)

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▲ 5 ▼
– LesboPregnancyScare 5 points 4 years ago +5 / -0

i dont have the patience or fortitude for that. And according to my girl, my facial expressions are easy to read. I cant fake not being disgusted.

Good on you though.

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▲ 4 ▼
– Oppressinator 4 points 4 years ago +4 / -0

I'm yet to try it in person because I know how disgusted and sorrowful I can get by the fallen people.

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▲ 2 ▼
– MassivePecorino 2 points 4 years ago +2 / -0

Try working retail or public facing jobs in government. You get a poker face, really quick.

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▲ 6 ▼
– Baron_Bubbles 6 points 4 years ago +6 / -0

Holy fuck, man, I'll give a massive fucking F for your brain cells for going that deep into Biden blather.

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▲ 5 ▼
– Gizortnik 5 points 4 years ago +5 / -0

How would anyone know what the fuck Portal Bridge is?

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▲ 6 ▼
– Oppressinator 6 points 4 years ago +6 / -0

Zero fucking clue. Again, when the president of the united states speaks and tries to be relatable, you shouldn't have to google train routes and bridges from his old commute. It fails on every single conevable metric.

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▲ 2 ▼
– Harsh_Truth2 2 points 4 years ago +2 / -0

I hadn’t believed in tongues or people interpreting tongues until those post; you sir have a gift!

tongues in the Bible just means languages

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▲ 9 ▼
– Eltrion 9 points 4 years ago +9 / -0

Portal Bridge is apparently in New Jersey. Beyond that, no clue.

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▲ 4 ▼
– deleted 4 points 4 years ago +4 / -0
▲ 4 ▼
– MetalGearMk4 4 points 4 years ago +4 / -0

My head is swimming

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▲ 2 ▼
– ElbowDeepInIt 2 points 4 years ago +2 / -0

Sleeper agents just got activated.

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▲ 2 ▼
– ah_hell 2 points 4 years ago +2 / -0

Joe Biden being iPhone-autocorrected in real time. What a time to be alive.

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