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48
[Amazon LOTR] Amazon to introduce new strong woman character to the shock of no one (boundingintocomics.com)
posted 4 years ago by Galean 4 years ago by Galean +48 / -0
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▲ 24 ▼
– Galean [S] 24 points 4 years ago +24 / -0

So diversity casting is in place and we will have strong independent women, hopefully they go for the half shaved haircut.

Next question is how many characters are going to be LGBTQP2SAPI+ and how long until Orc Lives Matter protesters are inserted in this new and exciting show from Amazon.

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▲ 26 ▼
– TentElephant 26 points 4 years ago +26 / -0

The Great Orcplacement is a conspiracy theory promoted by racist Numenorian supremacists.

Orcs built Gondor and Men stole it from them.

Orcs have contributed great food to Numenorian culture, such as grey bread and raw mystery meat.

But who will clean the latrines if we get rid of all the Orcs?

An Orc doctor cured Denethor.

There will soon be an Orc majority in Gondor, and that's a good thing.

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▲ 1 ▼
– Brandon5715 1 point 4 years ago +1 / -0

why are people around here so coy in saying they don't like black people?

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▲ 23 ▼
– Galean [S] 23 points 4 years ago +23 / -0

Is not about black people, is making fun of the left wing rhetoric regarding BLM, black people crime rate, immigration. Stuff like that.

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▲ 12 ▼
– covok48 12 points 4 years ago +12 / -0

I don’t know handshake, you tell us.

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▲ 12 ▼
– BidenLikesMiners 12 points 4 years ago +12 / -0

becuz this sub isnt about black man bad. its more about the culture war.

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▲ 8 ▼
– deleted 8 points 4 years ago +8 / -0
▲ 4 ▼
– ArtemisFoul 4 points 4 years ago +4 / -0

Go back to reddit you double nigger

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▲ 11 ▼
– deleted 11 points 4 years ago +11 / -0
▲ 16 ▼
– OBRIENMUSTSUFFER 16 points 4 years ago +16 / -0

10:1 says that she’ll be the one who really cuts off Sauron’s finger while her brother bitches out crying in a corner somewhere.

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▲ 17 ▼
– Galean [S] 17 points 4 years ago +17 / -0

I guess they will show how she taught Isildur everything he knows but patriarchy is why she did not single handedly kill all the orcs and make a better multicultural utopia that runs on elven farts. Everything would be better with women in charge, DARN THIS PATRIARCHY!!!.

Bonus: The true reason why Isildur did not destroy the ring is toxic masculinity.

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▲ 11 ▼
– BidenLikesMiners 11 points 4 years ago +11 / -0

Gandalf was a failed wizard, until one day he met up with the onlythots hoe on Thinder, and after he banged Ismerelda he gained all his powers and wisdom (and hobbit herps).

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▲ 14 ▼
– GeneralBoobs 14 points 4 years ago +14 / -0

You loved your Legolas and Frodo action figures, now buy the Carine action Figurette! She can fly, she can kickass, she can stand around and bitch for hours with the other she-elves while the men do all the real work! Coming soon to an Amazon clearance section.

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▲ 11 ▼
– ailurus 11 points 4 years ago +11 / -0

Oh, shut up Amazon. Even ignoring your blatant, entirely unnecessary addition of a sister (if you need to shoehorn in a diversity character, why not just make her his wife, who is mentioned but not named in the books?), just read the bloody source material instead of making up contradictory stuff on your own!

It's technically possible that Isildur was part of Ar-Pharazôn's invasion of Mordor (though no details are ever given of that event), but he would have been the Numenorean equivalent of an early teenager then. And you can't even get battle scenes out of that invasion, because Sauron realized trickery was better than military might in that case and just surrendered right away! The only big army deployment when he was an adult was when Ar-Pharazôn decided to raise an army to invade heaven, which Elendil's family ran away from because they knew it meant disaster. So the entire scene described is just your own fabrication!

And it's not like Isildur doesn't do stuff you could put in the film! I can give you half a season of material that comes (mostly straight) out of the Akallabêth that would work for a TV show before Elindel's family leave Numenor.

First episode, Isildur is introduced as heir-apparent of Andúnië, and is used to show the growing conflict between Ar-Pharazôn (and Sauron) and the Faithful. Second episode, Isildur uncovers Sauron's plan to destroy Nimloth (heck, if you want more girl-power bring in Míriel here as a potential source of the info, as she was likely not on good terms with her 'husband'). Third episode, discussing the situation with his family and heist planning (and here you could have his wife trying to encourage him not to go on a suicide mission, as his "sister" is apparently doing in your made-up timeline). Fourth episode (and maybe a fifth, depending on how crazy you want to make it), the heist itself and Isildur's near-death. Fifth episode, everyone's worried about Isildur (plus maybe angry guards looking for him and his family needs to hide him) but he recovers, and that episode ends with the announcement that Ar-Pharazôn is assembling the invasion force for Valinor.

There you go, half a season of Isildur-focused stuff that actually matches the given material, and then you can do a second half of the season on Isildur and his family preparing to leave. Why do you people need to keep making **** up when you have good source material to begin with?

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▲ 7 ▼
– MegoThor 7 points 4 years ago +7 / -0

As a kid, I would have given anything for a big budget movie or series featuring my favorite books.

Now I dread them.

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▲ 5 ▼
– Tourgen 5 points 4 years ago +5 / -0

Look, we are just going to keep telling you this story until you fucking believe it! EQUALITY! All morality tales will be OUR morality tales. All culture will be OUR culture. You will submit and obey. You know who to bow before. Don't play coy with us. We know you are weak and will put up no real resistance. This annoys us, as beating you into submission and forcing you to comply is so much more fun. But you are so weak. Who taught you to be this weak and pathetic?

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▲ 4 ▼
– BidenLikesMiners 4 points 4 years ago +4 / -0

A brand new rumor regarding Prime Video’s The Lord of the Rings series provides more details about Isildur’s role in the show as well as claiming that they will be introducing an original character in his sister.

The rumor details that Isildur, when off at battle vanquishing orcs, is seldom able to fetch the neccesary refreshments to quentch his thirst for vengeance, his sister is introduced to fill this need for beverages during a battle.

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▲ 4 ▼
– Smith1980 4 points 4 years ago +4 / -0

I honestly wonder if they purposely waited for Christopher Tolkien to die. Also I heard they fired a lore expert

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▲ 2 ▼
– deleted 2 points 4 years ago +2 / -0
▲ 8 ▼
– Galean [S] 8 points 4 years ago +8 / -0

Carine is elvish for Karen

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▲ 1 ▼
– GoofTroop186 1 point 4 years ago +1 / -0

Wait wait wait….. it’s a fucking prequel?!

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▲ 12 ▼
– deleted 12 points 4 years ago +12 / -0
▲ 15 ▼
– Knife-TotingRat 15 points 4 years ago +15 / -0

Yes, but only because they left out Tom Bombadil.

And even then, she admitted she wasn't immune to the One Ring's seduction, whereas Tom is (his casual handling of the Ring is exactly why they left him out, to avoid confusing the newbs. And even then, his appearance in the book is kind of just .. page-filling self-reference.)

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▲ 5 ▼
– CarmenOfSandiego 5 points 4 years ago +5 / -0

only because they left out Tom Bombadil

Tom has one of the best introductions to existing.

  • God creates the world without living beings

  • Finds Tom going for a walk

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