This MOSTLY happens to the guys that acquiesce to women at the first stage of asking to do shit like good morning texts.
The ones that go 'no that sounds stupid and I ain't gonna waste time on it' typically get more interest because they've openly refused them, said they aren't the most important thing and ridiculed the idea.
A lot of these types really want a guy to take control and deny them at times because even they know they have a lot of stupid ideas.
This MOSTLY happens to the guys that acquiesce to women at the first stage of asking to do shit like good morning texts.
Exactly what I was going to say. This could have been headed off at the pass if you just say 'no' when she makes some silly demand. If you're not already doing "good morning texts," it probably doesn't mean much to you. If she asks for it and you agree, you'll get resentful and not like her as much, or eventually stop doing it like in this example. If you just tell her 'no,' you'll seem assertive, and not have to inject more bullshit and confusion into the relationship.
If a woman - or anyone else (except maybe like your boss or parent, depending on your relationship) - asks you to do something pointless, don't agree just because it's "small." That's just making everything more difficult, generally.
Men are at a disadvantage because women are allowed to say no where men cannot.
“Hey honey, can you do the laundry?” “No, I don’t really feel up to it” “ok sweetie that’s fine”
Flip side:
“Hey boo, can you take out the trash?” “No sorry, it’s been a long day I’ll get to it tomorrow” “what a selfish lazy pig, he doesn’t even listen to me, I should leave his ass”
Also women are allowed and encouraged to drop whoever if they perceive a better option is available. My own wife makes constant remarks that she’d leave me for NHL players and I shrug it off but if I said the same thing about models or actresses it’s suddenly a personal attack and I’m the villain
You have to figure out how to thread the needle of "she wants someone to tell her what to do and stop her stupid impulses" and "all of her friends have told her that a man who does that is being abusive". You also have to figure out how to do this perfectly before your first year of high school or you run the risk of her using her global communication device to shame you in front of the entire world. Good luck!
Correct. The request itself is a shit test. She's seeing how much control she has over you. Agreeing too easily causes her to lose interest, like the cat that loses interest once it's caught the toy. You gotta keep dancing in front of her.
Though I will say in the past society was arranged better to shut this down. Women who played these sorts of games were socially shamed and shunned for it. This was something Roosh talked about, how sick he was of having to constantly put on 'Clown Game' to keep girls around. It shows how 'PUA' is still ultimately a bid for female approval. You're playing the game better than most, but it's still a stupid game.
you make the plans for your life. you work towards building a lifestyle and life she can just "step into". that's what she wants and that's what she finds attractive.
wasting your time attending to her random whims is what low-standing, low-value men do. men who kind of know at some level they don't have much real to offer anyone. don't do that.
you live your life and she can come along if she wants. and she will, if your life and lifestyle are the best she thinks she can do, and if you're not a fat ugly pig-man who tends to take care of himself.
Tons of men, especially young men, make the mistake of thinking you can navigate women by acting certain ways. "Just say no you aren't putting up with her stupid shit and she'll like you more..." This isn't how it work, at all.
What matters is how attractive you are as a man. The more attractive you are, the more you can say and do whatever you want and she'll put up with you. The less attractive you are as a man, the more you can't just say or do whatever you want. That's it. That's all there is to it.
Women don't like you any more or less because of what you say and do to them. They don't "respect you" because you're a real man who doesn't put up with her shit or whatever. Women don't think like this at all. This is just what men tell themselves to make themselves feel superior to other men based on some sort of superior behavior. In reality, the only reason some men are more successful than other men when it comes to women has nothing to do with the games the men play with the women and everything to do with how attractive the man is. If the man is attractive he can say and do anything. If the man is attractive, it doesn't matter if he says and does all the right things, it won't work.
Most relationships have a built in expiry date to them. It doesn't matter how attractive you are or what you say or do, eventually most women will stop being attracted to the man. This appears to be innate to her programming. There's psychological reasons for this and biological ones as well. That's why you hear of the 7 year Itch, etc... it's a real phenomenon. It doesn't matter how amazing you are as a man, eventually she won't like you anymore no matter what you say or do.
Tons of men, especially young men, make the mistake of thinking you can navigate women by acting certain ways.
For one thing, it can't be too forced. If it doesn't seem natural, it's not going to work. So, yeah, in that context you can't just say or do certain things and expect magic. But to act like personality and attitude don't play a role also doesn't work.
What matters is how attractive you are as a man. The more attractive you are, the more you can say and do whatever you want and she'll put up with you.
Physical attractiveness of course matters, and anyone who says otherwise is a delusional moron, no argument. But there are other ways to be attractive too. Plenty of ugly or short guys have great success with women. Money, power, humor, assertiveness, confidence, and, yes, even aggression can all boost someone's overall perceived "attractiveness" level. Again, yes, you still have better results if you're building on a foundation of physical hotness, but it's not required.
The less attractive you are as a man, the more you can't just say or do whatever you want. That's it. That's all there is to it.
That's not all there is to it. Again, some truth there, but it's not the full story by a longshot. The 'you just need to be hot' meme is cope from people who don't put in the effort. And just to reiterate...yes, being hot helps. A lot.
Women don't like you any more or less because of what you say and do to them.
Everything else has had a mix of truth and exaggeration. This one here? Wrong.
In reality, the only reason some men are more successful...everything to do with how attractive the man is.
Again, no.
If the man is attractive he can say and do anything. If the man is [un]attractive, it doesn't matter if he says and does all the right things, it won't work.
Then explain why some ugly men (and I'm not even talking ugly rich men) do significantly better with women than some attractive men. The first group has put in the work, the second hasn't, simply don't care, or have some other issue stopping them from fully utilizing their attractiveness...including the example of not being assertive or confident enough. Also, plenty of attractive men will wear out their welcome by thinking they can get away with anything, and pushing too far, or not far enough.
The 'you just need to be hot' meme is cope from people who don't put in the effort.
There is more to it than being hot, but how hot you are puts a ceiling on what you can accomplish with effort and and on the learning curve difficulty. The reason being hot is so important is because it allows you fuck up without it being fatal, which makes the rest far easier to learn. Chad both learns how to deal with women exponentially faster than Billy Beta and his knowledge goes way further. So even if Billy can conquer the nightmare learning curve he's still putting up with a ton of bullshit that Chad doesn't have to, and for a shittier payout to boot. I think that's where a lot of the "you just need to be hot" narrative comes from. It's not that you'll be an incel if you're not, but the end result won't be worth the time/effort/aggravation. That's why I always say be Chad or don't bother.
Being Hot is Step 1. If you lack it, you aren't even getting in the door to do literally anything else. Its what creates the first impression and no amount of negotiation can undo it. If you hot, she will hear out what you have to say, or if you are really hot she will just come along on her own.
You guys are over thinking this. She is looking at non-hot guys like a crackshack. Sure the land might be good and the foundation still solid and the work almost minimal for the low price, but none of that matters because its a fucking crackshack ick, eww, gross.
Money, power, humor, assertiveness, confidence, and, yes, even aggression can all boost someone's overall perceived "attractiveness" level.
Sorry for the double post but it's really important to note that looks affect the perception of all of that except money, and money is only important when they're out to steal it from a beta. I'm referring to the halo effect of course. The difference between confident and cocky is how tall and hot the guy is. Same with assertive and aggressive (the kind that doesn't give them the tingles). The point is looks are highly correlated with female perception of the rest, so it's not simply a matter of "making up" for less than ideal looks.
Absolutely no need to apologize. Sometimes it just do be like that.
And I already acknowledged that looks can be quite important. I just don't think they're the be all and end all, or even required. Confidence that is actually earned will get you places, no matter what you look like.
The difference between confident and cocky is how tall and hot the guy is.
Sometimes, but I still don't think it's that simple. I think a quality person who has done things to earn his confidence can get places. It's a tired mantra, but there really is some truth to the whole 'work on yourself first' advice, and it goes beyond looks. Again, looks absolutely help a lot, I've never argued the contrary.
Same with assertive and aggressive (the kind that doesn't give them the tingles).
But they can get the tingles from that behavior regardless of looks. In entertainment the "bad boy" trope tends to be tall and good looking, but the actual bad boys women end up being interested in aren't always that. Like you said, tingles.
The point is looks are highly correlated with female perception of the rest...
Yup, I agree. Again, though, part of my point is "attractive" isn't set in stone. Of course there are biological and evolutionary truths regarding beauty. But part of that certainly goes beyond traditional attractiveness. Again, danger is a good example. Someone who is ugly and/or short, but looks like they've been through some stuff might be more attractive to women than someone better looking - but not much above average - who doesn't have scars or other marring. And that's just physical stuff; there's also plenty of attitudes that signal attractiveness, regardless (or at least partially regardless) of physical attractiveness. That's my point. Again, being "hot" totally, totally helps, big time.
And, to address your other comment about me saying the 'just be hot' meme is cope, I should have been more clear. I'm not saying there's no truth there. I'm just saying I think it's a tired excuse; one that is often, but not exclusively, used by losers who have given up. I also think it's kind of funny - and I want to be clear that none of this is aimed at you or anyone else here - that a lot of the same people who go on about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps suddenly say you're screwed if you're not a perfect ten, six foot six, with a huge dick.
I guess that's part of what irks me. The incel/redpill/MGTOW people tend more toward the "conservative" side of things, if you want to class it that way, so I guess I'm more likely to nitpick my own side more. Because we all already know leftists are shit. And they're to busy worshipping women and denying biology in all its forms to acknowledge basic truths, much less build ideas around them.
So I'm not trying to discredit "redpill" or whatever ideology, or anything. It's probably more on point than many normie views, and certainly lefty views. I'm just being pedantic, but also the defeatism really does piss me off. That's my issue. As I've said; yes, being hot is a massive advantage, and opens many doors. Being ugly is a massive disadvantage, and sucks. Those are truths. It just doesn't have to define anyone's life, or shape their system of belief. It will be a struggle, but physical appearance can be overcome.
Eliot was right about women. I'm going through the same sort of shit he did when it comes to dating. All these fucking whores want nothing to do with me and I have no way of protecting myself from them.
If you want to discuss technicalities then you are correct so let me rephrase in a manner you'll understand.
You can't change your core personality over a few quick tricks of "games" a man plays. You can be aware of all these tricks/games and try to play them but this won't change your core personality no matter how good you get at faking it.
What I'm saying is when guys are talking on the internet and someone says "just don't text her good morning every morning and then she won't get like this" I can safety say that's not it. A man would need to change absolutely everything about his core personality not just a few tricks here or there like this...because that's what ultimately this is: a reflection of his personality.
Since your personality is already mostly set-in-stone, a much bigger factor is going to be looks holding all else constant.
If a good looking man doesn't text her good morning he has a much higher chance of success than a bad looking man who doesn't.
To summarize the point I'm making. Men playing games with women doesn't work. I've seen men do this all the time and it doesn't get men anywhere. 99% of the time the men play the games, the people see right through the games to the core of the man's personality. The woman has already decided if she finds the man attractive or not and what the man does at this stage has limited impact. That's why the advice of "just be yourself" isn't actually bad advice. Men don't like this advice because then men have to accept that they aren't truly in control of the women they can or cannot obtain but that's mostly true. Men have very limited impact on their ability to get women. A man's genetics are set when he's born and so is most of his life trajectory based on his parents and this will shape his overall attractiveness. You can't run away from who you are by playing some games with women on asserting texting dominance at the start of the relationship. You're either already attractive or you're not and these little games mean mostly nothing in the end.
A great example of this is PUA shit. These guys think all the stuff they say matters but it mostly doesn't. The woman has already decided if she is going to sleep with the guy or not no matter what he says. It's just a matter of don't say anything so bad she loses all interest despite already being interested. Like on tinder when guys with hot pics tell women they were in prison for pedophilia and the girls still want to meetup to fuck.
Yes, I agree you see bad looking men with good looking women so obviously certain things other than looks matter but really, it comes down to what the woman wants and each woman is slightly different. You can try to play games all you want but most men are simply getting lucky that they are what the woman wants rather than the man actively changing things to get what he wants. Most men have very limited influence on their ability to gain women or not. That's why you have men who literally have never thought to try to get women and they end up with any woman they want and you have high IQ smart men unable to get women no matter what they do. It's not that they lack the ability to problem solve the situation, it's that they lack the genetics and upbringing to get women which is ultimately the most important thing. What you say or don't say doesn't matter because if you had what it takes to get women through superior personality you'd already say what needs to be said without thinking about it. Guys trying to improve their chances by saying/doing the right thing aren't going to change who they really are so they aren't going to have any more or less success doing this stuff. If the guy ends up successful, he was already going to be successful regardless of what he thought he should say to certain things.
These "games" are worthless. Either you're attractive (both physically and personality) or you're not. The more attractive you are the more you can say whatever you want. The less attractive you are the more you have to say/do all the right things but if it doesn't come naturally, the more you're going to fuck up so trying to focus on one thing like just don't text her in the morning isn't going to be it because there's no at that was going to be the make or break. Either you were already so attractive to begin with that it doesn't matter or you were already so unattractive to begin with no matter what you did, it was going to end poorly for you anyhow.
A majority of things about someone are set in genetics from their parents. The idea that everyone is born a blank slate that can gym and work their way to success from absolutely nothing is simply not viable or realistic in all but the most extreme of examples. Of course, self-help gurus and coaches will treat you as a blank slate because the alternative won't make them money. People don't like to hear uncomfortable truths either but alas, reality, nature and evolution doesn't care about people's feelings.
People also tend to see an exception and assume that the rule is null and void. Of course under that logic, heterosexuality would be a myth! But we all know otherwise.
It's not technicalities, it's commonplace. Again, yes, being hot is an advantage. Being ugly is a disadvantage. But it's not just fringe cases; attractive people fail on the regular, ugly people succeed on the regular.
...let me rephrase in a manner you'll understand.
And that's not necessary. I disagreed with you, but I didn't talk down to you.
You can't change your core personality over a few quick tricks...
Nope, and you shouldn't want to. Improve yourself, for yourself. There are tricks that make it more effective, but it really does have to be a genuine process.
internet and someone says "just don't text her good morning every morning and then she won't get like this" I can safety say that's not it.
That wasn't even what was said. What was said was, don't agree to her demand. In these instances agreeing just makes things worse. It's not a "trick," just say no to bullshit. Again, not a trick in the slightest. You're not trying to trick anything, or change yourself.
A man would need to change absolutely everything about his core personality not just a few tricks here or there like this...
I think we're just coming at this from different angles. I'm not saying saying "no" is a magic cure-all. Just that in this hypothetical it would have been a good start. Perhaps the relationship would have still spiraled and ended. But agreeing to nonsense was a bad move regardless.
Since your personality is already mostly set-in-stone, a much bigger factor is going to be looks holding all else constant.
Your personality might be, but the "vibe" you give off doesn't have to be. Plenty of things can make you more or less attractive, beyond either your appearance or "personality." People think of confidence as related to personality, and it is, but it's also related to where you are in life. So even something as simple as a short run every day, or the classic "hitting the gym" can make you more attractive, even before and differences in physical appearance. Mental state is easier to change than overall personality, and does come through in many ways that other people can pick up on.
If a good looking man doesn't text her good morning he has a much higher chance of success than a bad looking man who doesn't.
Again, it's not about the text. It's about handling extraneous bullshit.
To summarize the point I'm making. Men playing games with women doesn't work. I've seen men do this all the time and it doesn't get men anywhere.
It can. But, again, that wasn't even my point. I wasn't asking people to trick anyone, or play games. I'm saying set boundaries, don't give in just because an ask may be seemingly easy. Going along with bullshit also doesn't get you anywhere. You keep calling it games and tricks. Simply and legitimately saying "no, I don't want to do that" is not a game or a trick.
That's why the advice of "just be yourself" isn't actually bad advice.
It is and it isn't. Yes, don't be fake. Don't do tricks. But work to improve yourself. Being "yourself" and accepting that that will dictate your entire life...that puts you completely out of control, and gives up any need to strive for anything. And even if it were true, it's a very traditionally male thing to try to overcome that anyway. Maybe you still lose, sure. But better to have tried. So, yes/no: Don't be yourself...be a better version of yourself.
You can't run away from who you are by playing some games with women on asserting texting dominance at the start of the relationship. You're either already attractive or you're not and these little games mean mostly nothing in the end.
I wish you'd stop calling them games, but I've already said that repeatedly. But look at it this way, then. If she's already decided how she feels about you, it also doesn't matter the other way. If what she's asking is stupid, and could lead to the spiral described in the video, head that off at the pass and just say you're not interested in that. If you're not attractive enough, she'll dump you anyway. If you are, she'll accept that, and you'll have one less potential relationship-destroying bit of drama floating around. Basically, pick a lane. Assert yourself, say no to bullshit. Or say yes to bullshit, but actually follow throw. Do everything she says. And I'm not even saying that derogatorily, that does work for some relationships. It's a little gross, but if it's a personality match, that's up to them. But agreeing to bullshit and then doing a half-assed job will legitimately have negative effects; the crazy lady in the video is actually right about that.
A great example of this is PUA shit. These guys think all the stuff they say matters but it mostly doesn't.
I hate the PUA stuff. But I'll again say this is a mix of truth and exaggeration. Changing or even just thinking about how you come at social situations will have an effect. In that sense PUA stuff can be helpful...irony is, most of the men who would benefit from it don't have the drive to put in the work to get the benefit from that either.
If the guy ends up successful, he was already going to be successful regardless of what he thought he should say to certain things.
I'm calling bullshit, and I'm also saying this is defeatist and a self-fulfilling prophecy. Yes, some people have it easier than others. But some people put in the work to be able to be successful.
These "games" are worthless. Either you're attractive (both physically and personality) or you're not....Either you were already so attractive to begin with that it doesn't matter or you were already so unattractive to begin with no matter what you did, it was going to end poorly for you anyhow.
Do you think there's free will at all? Do you apply this thinking to other aspects of life, or just sexual dynamics? If it's all just innate and you can't change it, why try to change your circumstances or do anything?
...trying to focus on one thing like just don't text her in the morning isn't going to be it because there's no at that was going to be the make or break.
I'll just finish on, once again, I never said it was make or break, it's not a trick, and it's not something you need to focus on. All I said was that if you deny the initial silly request, it can help stop that particular chain of drama. You might run into other drama, you might handle that better or worse, the relationship might still end down the line...but saying no was still the right move. It's not about trying to trick her, it's about trying to keep a bit of control and not let chaos overrun the relationship.
This MOSTLY happens to the guys that acquiesce to women at the first stage of asking to do shit like good morning texts.
The ones that go 'no that sounds stupid and I ain't gonna waste time on it' typically get more interest because they've openly refused them, said they aren't the most important thing and ridiculed the idea.
A lot of these types really want a guy to take control and deny them at times because even they know they have a lot of stupid ideas.
Exactly what I was going to say. This could have been headed off at the pass if you just say 'no' when she makes some silly demand. If you're not already doing "good morning texts," it probably doesn't mean much to you. If she asks for it and you agree, you'll get resentful and not like her as much, or eventually stop doing it like in this example. If you just tell her 'no,' you'll seem assertive, and not have to inject more bullshit and confusion into the relationship.
If a woman - or anyone else (except maybe like your boss or parent, depending on your relationship) - asks you to do something pointless, don't agree just because it's "small." That's just making everything more difficult, generally.
The number one skill you can develop in dating is saying no to women. Unapologetic, unashamed, definitive no.
Men are eternally at a disadvantage in dating if women are allowed to leave.
Men are at a disadvantage because women are allowed to say no where men cannot.
“Hey honey, can you do the laundry?” “No, I don’t really feel up to it” “ok sweetie that’s fine”
Flip side:
“Hey boo, can you take out the trash?” “No sorry, it’s been a long day I’ll get to it tomorrow” “what a selfish lazy pig, he doesn’t even listen to me, I should leave his ass”
Also women are allowed and encouraged to drop whoever if they perceive a better option is available. My own wife makes constant remarks that she’d leave me for NHL players and I shrug it off but if I said the same thing about models or actresses it’s suddenly a personal attack and I’m the villain
Men are at a disadvantage because they can get another man while men are forced to be incredibly desperate.
You have to figure out how to thread the needle of "she wants someone to tell her what to do and stop her stupid impulses" and "all of her friends have told her that a man who does that is being abusive". You also have to figure out how to do this perfectly before your first year of high school or you run the risk of her using her global communication device to shame you in front of the entire world. Good luck!
Most of us never even had the chance to get close to a woman.
Correct. The request itself is a shit test. She's seeing how much control she has over you. Agreeing too easily causes her to lose interest, like the cat that loses interest once it's caught the toy. You gotta keep dancing in front of her.
Though I will say in the past society was arranged better to shut this down. Women who played these sorts of games were socially shamed and shunned for it. This was something Roosh talked about, how sick he was of having to constantly put on 'Clown Game' to keep girls around. It shows how 'PUA' is still ultimately a bid for female approval. You're playing the game better than most, but it's still a stupid game.
This is why women should be property.
you make the plans for your life. you work towards building a lifestyle and life she can just "step into". that's what she wants and that's what she finds attractive.
wasting your time attending to her random whims is what low-standing, low-value men do. men who kind of know at some level they don't have much real to offer anyone. don't do that.
you live your life and she can come along if she wants. and she will, if your life and lifestyle are the best she thinks she can do, and if you're not a fat ugly pig-man who tends to take care of himself.
Most men have no way attracting a woman and no way to prevent her from robbing us other than killing her in revenge and throwing our lives away
Most men are desperate enough that we'd be willing to kill for pussy.
No, this isn't it.
Tons of men, especially young men, make the mistake of thinking you can navigate women by acting certain ways. "Just say no you aren't putting up with her stupid shit and she'll like you more..." This isn't how it work, at all.
What matters is how attractive you are as a man. The more attractive you are, the more you can say and do whatever you want and she'll put up with you. The less attractive you are as a man, the more you can't just say or do whatever you want. That's it. That's all there is to it.
Women don't like you any more or less because of what you say and do to them. They don't "respect you" because you're a real man who doesn't put up with her shit or whatever. Women don't think like this at all. This is just what men tell themselves to make themselves feel superior to other men based on some sort of superior behavior. In reality, the only reason some men are more successful than other men when it comes to women has nothing to do with the games the men play with the women and everything to do with how attractive the man is. If the man is attractive he can say and do anything. If the man is attractive, it doesn't matter if he says and does all the right things, it won't work.
Most relationships have a built in expiry date to them. It doesn't matter how attractive you are or what you say or do, eventually most women will stop being attracted to the man. This appears to be innate to her programming. There's psychological reasons for this and biological ones as well. That's why you hear of the 7 year Itch, etc... it's a real phenomenon. It doesn't matter how amazing you are as a man, eventually she won't like you anymore no matter what you say or do.
Yes, and also no.
For one thing, it can't be too forced. If it doesn't seem natural, it's not going to work. So, yeah, in that context you can't just say or do certain things and expect magic. But to act like personality and attitude don't play a role also doesn't work.
Physical attractiveness of course matters, and anyone who says otherwise is a delusional moron, no argument. But there are other ways to be attractive too. Plenty of ugly or short guys have great success with women. Money, power, humor, assertiveness, confidence, and, yes, even aggression can all boost someone's overall perceived "attractiveness" level. Again, yes, you still have better results if you're building on a foundation of physical hotness, but it's not required.
That's not all there is to it. Again, some truth there, but it's not the full story by a longshot. The 'you just need to be hot' meme is cope from people who don't put in the effort. And just to reiterate...yes, being hot helps. A lot.
Everything else has had a mix of truth and exaggeration. This one here? Wrong.
Again, no.
Then explain why some ugly men (and I'm not even talking ugly rich men) do significantly better with women than some attractive men. The first group has put in the work, the second hasn't, simply don't care, or have some other issue stopping them from fully utilizing their attractiveness...including the example of not being assertive or confident enough. Also, plenty of attractive men will wear out their welcome by thinking they can get away with anything, and pushing too far, or not far enough.
There is more to it than being hot, but how hot you are puts a ceiling on what you can accomplish with effort and and on the learning curve difficulty. The reason being hot is so important is because it allows you fuck up without it being fatal, which makes the rest far easier to learn. Chad both learns how to deal with women exponentially faster than Billy Beta and his knowledge goes way further. So even if Billy can conquer the nightmare learning curve he's still putting up with a ton of bullshit that Chad doesn't have to, and for a shittier payout to boot. I think that's where a lot of the "you just need to be hot" narrative comes from. It's not that you'll be an incel if you're not, but the end result won't be worth the time/effort/aggravation. That's why I always say be Chad or don't bother.
Being Hot is Step 1. If you lack it, you aren't even getting in the door to do literally anything else. Its what creates the first impression and no amount of negotiation can undo it. If you hot, she will hear out what you have to say, or if you are really hot she will just come along on her own.
You guys are over thinking this. She is looking at non-hot guys like a crackshack. Sure the land might be good and the foundation still solid and the work almost minimal for the low price, but none of that matters because its a fucking crackshack ick, eww, gross.
Sorry for the double post but it's really important to note that looks affect the perception of all of that except money, and money is only important when they're out to steal it from a beta. I'm referring to the halo effect of course. The difference between confident and cocky is how tall and hot the guy is. Same with assertive and aggressive (the kind that doesn't give them the tingles). The point is looks are highly correlated with female perception of the rest, so it's not simply a matter of "making up" for less than ideal looks.
Absolutely no need to apologize. Sometimes it just do be like that.
And I already acknowledged that looks can be quite important. I just don't think they're the be all and end all, or even required. Confidence that is actually earned will get you places, no matter what you look like.
Sometimes, but I still don't think it's that simple. I think a quality person who has done things to earn his confidence can get places. It's a tired mantra, but there really is some truth to the whole 'work on yourself first' advice, and it goes beyond looks. Again, looks absolutely help a lot, I've never argued the contrary.
But they can get the tingles from that behavior regardless of looks. In entertainment the "bad boy" trope tends to be tall and good looking, but the actual bad boys women end up being interested in aren't always that. Like you said, tingles.
Yup, I agree. Again, though, part of my point is "attractive" isn't set in stone. Of course there are biological and evolutionary truths regarding beauty. But part of that certainly goes beyond traditional attractiveness. Again, danger is a good example. Someone who is ugly and/or short, but looks like they've been through some stuff might be more attractive to women than someone better looking - but not much above average - who doesn't have scars or other marring. And that's just physical stuff; there's also plenty of attitudes that signal attractiveness, regardless (or at least partially regardless) of physical attractiveness. That's my point. Again, being "hot" totally, totally helps, big time.
And, to address your other comment about me saying the 'just be hot' meme is cope, I should have been more clear. I'm not saying there's no truth there. I'm just saying I think it's a tired excuse; one that is often, but not exclusively, used by losers who have given up. I also think it's kind of funny - and I want to be clear that none of this is aimed at you or anyone else here - that a lot of the same people who go on about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps suddenly say you're screwed if you're not a perfect ten, six foot six, with a huge dick.
I guess that's part of what irks me. The incel/redpill/MGTOW people tend more toward the "conservative" side of things, if you want to class it that way, so I guess I'm more likely to nitpick my own side more. Because we all already know leftists are shit. And they're to busy worshipping women and denying biology in all its forms to acknowledge basic truths, much less build ideas around them.
So I'm not trying to discredit "redpill" or whatever ideology, or anything. It's probably more on point than many normie views, and certainly lefty views. I'm just being pedantic, but also the defeatism really does piss me off. That's my issue. As I've said; yes, being hot is a massive advantage, and opens many doors. Being ugly is a massive disadvantage, and sucks. Those are truths. It just doesn't have to define anyone's life, or shape their system of belief. It will be a struggle, but physical appearance can be overcome.
Eliot was right about women. I'm going through the same sort of shit he did when it comes to dating. All these fucking whores want nothing to do with me and I have no way of protecting myself from them.
If you want to discuss technicalities then you are correct so let me rephrase in a manner you'll understand.
You can't change your core personality over a few quick tricks of "games" a man plays. You can be aware of all these tricks/games and try to play them but this won't change your core personality no matter how good you get at faking it.
What I'm saying is when guys are talking on the internet and someone says "just don't text her good morning every morning and then she won't get like this" I can safety say that's not it. A man would need to change absolutely everything about his core personality not just a few tricks here or there like this...because that's what ultimately this is: a reflection of his personality.
Since your personality is already mostly set-in-stone, a much bigger factor is going to be looks holding all else constant.
If a good looking man doesn't text her good morning he has a much higher chance of success than a bad looking man who doesn't.
To summarize the point I'm making. Men playing games with women doesn't work. I've seen men do this all the time and it doesn't get men anywhere. 99% of the time the men play the games, the people see right through the games to the core of the man's personality. The woman has already decided if she finds the man attractive or not and what the man does at this stage has limited impact. That's why the advice of "just be yourself" isn't actually bad advice. Men don't like this advice because then men have to accept that they aren't truly in control of the women they can or cannot obtain but that's mostly true. Men have very limited impact on their ability to get women. A man's genetics are set when he's born and so is most of his life trajectory based on his parents and this will shape his overall attractiveness. You can't run away from who you are by playing some games with women on asserting texting dominance at the start of the relationship. You're either already attractive or you're not and these little games mean mostly nothing in the end.
A great example of this is PUA shit. These guys think all the stuff they say matters but it mostly doesn't. The woman has already decided if she is going to sleep with the guy or not no matter what he says. It's just a matter of don't say anything so bad she loses all interest despite already being interested. Like on tinder when guys with hot pics tell women they were in prison for pedophilia and the girls still want to meetup to fuck.
Yes, I agree you see bad looking men with good looking women so obviously certain things other than looks matter but really, it comes down to what the woman wants and each woman is slightly different. You can try to play games all you want but most men are simply getting lucky that they are what the woman wants rather than the man actively changing things to get what he wants. Most men have very limited influence on their ability to gain women or not. That's why you have men who literally have never thought to try to get women and they end up with any woman they want and you have high IQ smart men unable to get women no matter what they do. It's not that they lack the ability to problem solve the situation, it's that they lack the genetics and upbringing to get women which is ultimately the most important thing. What you say or don't say doesn't matter because if you had what it takes to get women through superior personality you'd already say what needs to be said without thinking about it. Guys trying to improve their chances by saying/doing the right thing aren't going to change who they really are so they aren't going to have any more or less success doing this stuff. If the guy ends up successful, he was already going to be successful regardless of what he thought he should say to certain things.
These "games" are worthless. Either you're attractive (both physically and personality) or you're not. The more attractive you are the more you can say whatever you want. The less attractive you are the more you have to say/do all the right things but if it doesn't come naturally, the more you're going to fuck up so trying to focus on one thing like just don't text her in the morning isn't going to be it because there's no at that was going to be the make or break. Either you were already so attractive to begin with that it doesn't matter or you were already so unattractive to begin with no matter what you did, it was going to end poorly for you anyhow.
A majority of things about someone are set in genetics from their parents. The idea that everyone is born a blank slate that can gym and work their way to success from absolutely nothing is simply not viable or realistic in all but the most extreme of examples. Of course, self-help gurus and coaches will treat you as a blank slate because the alternative won't make them money. People don't like to hear uncomfortable truths either but alas, reality, nature and evolution doesn't care about people's feelings.
People also tend to see an exception and assume that the rule is null and void. Of course under that logic, heterosexuality would be a myth! But we all know otherwise.
It's not technicalities, it's commonplace. Again, yes, being hot is an advantage. Being ugly is a disadvantage. But it's not just fringe cases; attractive people fail on the regular, ugly people succeed on the regular.
And that's not necessary. I disagreed with you, but I didn't talk down to you.
Nope, and you shouldn't want to. Improve yourself, for yourself. There are tricks that make it more effective, but it really does have to be a genuine process.
That wasn't even what was said. What was said was, don't agree to her demand. In these instances agreeing just makes things worse. It's not a "trick," just say no to bullshit. Again, not a trick in the slightest. You're not trying to trick anything, or change yourself.
I think we're just coming at this from different angles. I'm not saying saying "no" is a magic cure-all. Just that in this hypothetical it would have been a good start. Perhaps the relationship would have still spiraled and ended. But agreeing to nonsense was a bad move regardless.
Your personality might be, but the "vibe" you give off doesn't have to be. Plenty of things can make you more or less attractive, beyond either your appearance or "personality." People think of confidence as related to personality, and it is, but it's also related to where you are in life. So even something as simple as a short run every day, or the classic "hitting the gym" can make you more attractive, even before and differences in physical appearance. Mental state is easier to change than overall personality, and does come through in many ways that other people can pick up on.
Again, it's not about the text. It's about handling extraneous bullshit.
It can. But, again, that wasn't even my point. I wasn't asking people to trick anyone, or play games. I'm saying set boundaries, don't give in just because an ask may be seemingly easy. Going along with bullshit also doesn't get you anywhere. You keep calling it games and tricks. Simply and legitimately saying "no, I don't want to do that" is not a game or a trick.
It is and it isn't. Yes, don't be fake. Don't do tricks. But work to improve yourself. Being "yourself" and accepting that that will dictate your entire life...that puts you completely out of control, and gives up any need to strive for anything. And even if it were true, it's a very traditionally male thing to try to overcome that anyway. Maybe you still lose, sure. But better to have tried. So, yes/no: Don't be yourself...be a better version of yourself.
I wish you'd stop calling them games, but I've already said that repeatedly. But look at it this way, then. If she's already decided how she feels about you, it also doesn't matter the other way. If what she's asking is stupid, and could lead to the spiral described in the video, head that off at the pass and just say you're not interested in that. If you're not attractive enough, she'll dump you anyway. If you are, she'll accept that, and you'll have one less potential relationship-destroying bit of drama floating around. Basically, pick a lane. Assert yourself, say no to bullshit. Or say yes to bullshit, but actually follow throw. Do everything she says. And I'm not even saying that derogatorily, that does work for some relationships. It's a little gross, but if it's a personality match, that's up to them. But agreeing to bullshit and then doing a half-assed job will legitimately have negative effects; the crazy lady in the video is actually right about that.
I hate the PUA stuff. But I'll again say this is a mix of truth and exaggeration. Changing or even just thinking about how you come at social situations will have an effect. In that sense PUA stuff can be helpful...irony is, most of the men who would benefit from it don't have the drive to put in the work to get the benefit from that either.
I'm calling bullshit, and I'm also saying this is defeatist and a self-fulfilling prophecy. Yes, some people have it easier than others. But some people put in the work to be able to be successful.
Do you think there's free will at all? Do you apply this thinking to other aspects of life, or just sexual dynamics? If it's all just innate and you can't change it, why try to change your circumstances or do anything?
I'll just finish on, once again, I never said it was make or break, it's not a trick, and it's not something you need to focus on. All I said was that if you deny the initial silly request, it can help stop that particular chain of drama. You might run into other drama, you might handle that better or worse, the relationship might still end down the line...but saying no was still the right move. It's not about trying to trick her, it's about trying to keep a bit of control and not let chaos overrun the relationship.
This is proof women should be property and have no rights.