It's not technicalities, it's commonplace. Again, yes, being hot is an advantage. Being ugly is a disadvantage. But it's not just fringe cases; attractive people fail on the regular, ugly people succeed on the regular.
...let me rephrase in a manner you'll understand.
And that's not necessary. I disagreed with you, but I didn't talk down to you.
You can't change your core personality over a few quick tricks...
Nope, and you shouldn't want to. Improve yourself, for yourself. There are tricks that make it more effective, but it really does have to be a genuine process.
internet and someone says "just don't text her good morning every morning and then she won't get like this" I can safety say that's not it.
That wasn't even what was said. What was said was, don't agree to her demand. In these instances agreeing just makes things worse. It's not a "trick," just say no to bullshit. Again, not a trick in the slightest. You're not trying to trick anything, or change yourself.
A man would need to change absolutely everything about his core personality not just a few tricks here or there like this...
I think we're just coming at this from different angles. I'm not saying saying "no" is a magic cure-all. Just that in this hypothetical it would have been a good start. Perhaps the relationship would have still spiraled and ended. But agreeing to nonsense was a bad move regardless.
Since your personality is already mostly set-in-stone, a much bigger factor is going to be looks holding all else constant.
Your personality might be, but the "vibe" you give off doesn't have to be. Plenty of things can make you more or less attractive, beyond either your appearance or "personality." People think of confidence as related to personality, and it is, but it's also related to where you are in life. So even something as simple as a short run every day, or the classic "hitting the gym" can make you more attractive, even before and differences in physical appearance. Mental state is easier to change than overall personality, and does come through in many ways that other people can pick up on.
If a good looking man doesn't text her good morning he has a much higher chance of success than a bad looking man who doesn't.
Again, it's not about the text. It's about handling extraneous bullshit.
To summarize the point I'm making. Men playing games with women doesn't work. I've seen men do this all the time and it doesn't get men anywhere.
It can. But, again, that wasn't even my point. I wasn't asking people to trick anyone, or play games. I'm saying set boundaries, don't give in just because an ask may be seemingly easy. Going along with bullshit also doesn't get you anywhere. You keep calling it games and tricks. Simply and legitimately saying "no, I don't want to do that" is not a game or a trick.
That's why the advice of "just be yourself" isn't actually bad advice.
It is and it isn't. Yes, don't be fake. Don't do tricks. But work to improve yourself. Being "yourself" and accepting that that will dictate your entire life...that puts you completely out of control, and gives up any need to strive for anything. And even if it were true, it's a very traditionally male thing to try to overcome that anyway. Maybe you still lose, sure. But better to have tried. So, yes/no: Don't be yourself...be a better version of yourself.
You can't run away from who you are by playing some games with women on asserting texting dominance at the start of the relationship. You're either already attractive or you're not and these little games mean mostly nothing in the end.
I wish you'd stop calling them games, but I've already said that repeatedly. But look at it this way, then. If she's already decided how she feels about you, it also doesn't matter the other way. If what she's asking is stupid, and could lead to the spiral described in the video, head that off at the pass and just say you're not interested in that. If you're not attractive enough, she'll dump you anyway. If you are, she'll accept that, and you'll have one less potential relationship-destroying bit of drama floating around. Basically, pick a lane. Assert yourself, say no to bullshit. Or say yes to bullshit, but actually follow throw. Do everything she says. And I'm not even saying that derogatorily, that does work for some relationships. It's a little gross, but if it's a personality match, that's up to them. But agreeing to bullshit and then doing a half-assed job will legitimately have negative effects; the crazy lady in the video is actually right about that.
A great example of this is PUA shit. These guys think all the stuff they say matters but it mostly doesn't.
I hate the PUA stuff. But I'll again say this is a mix of truth and exaggeration. Changing or even just thinking about how you come at social situations will have an effect. In that sense PUA stuff can be helpful...irony is, most of the men who would benefit from it don't have the drive to put in the work to get the benefit from that either.
If the guy ends up successful, he was already going to be successful regardless of what he thought he should say to certain things.
I'm calling bullshit, and I'm also saying this is defeatist and a self-fulfilling prophecy. Yes, some people have it easier than others. But some people put in the work to be able to be successful.
These "games" are worthless. Either you're attractive (both physically and personality) or you're not....Either you were already so attractive to begin with that it doesn't matter or you were already so unattractive to begin with no matter what you did, it was going to end poorly for you anyhow.
Do you think there's free will at all? Do you apply this thinking to other aspects of life, or just sexual dynamics? If it's all just innate and you can't change it, why try to change your circumstances or do anything?
...trying to focus on one thing like just don't text her in the morning isn't going to be it because there's no at that was going to be the make or break.
I'll just finish on, once again, I never said it was make or break, it's not a trick, and it's not something you need to focus on. All I said was that if you deny the initial silly request, it can help stop that particular chain of drama. You might run into other drama, you might handle that better or worse, the relationship might still end down the line...but saying no was still the right move. It's not about trying to trick her, it's about trying to keep a bit of control and not let chaos overrun the relationship.
It's not technicalities, it's commonplace. Again, yes, being hot is an advantage. Being ugly is a disadvantage. But it's not just fringe cases; attractive people fail on the regular, ugly people succeed on the regular.
And that's not necessary. I disagreed with you, but I didn't talk down to you.
Nope, and you shouldn't want to. Improve yourself, for yourself. There are tricks that make it more effective, but it really does have to be a genuine process.
That wasn't even what was said. What was said was, don't agree to her demand. In these instances agreeing just makes things worse. It's not a "trick," just say no to bullshit. Again, not a trick in the slightest. You're not trying to trick anything, or change yourself.
I think we're just coming at this from different angles. I'm not saying saying "no" is a magic cure-all. Just that in this hypothetical it would have been a good start. Perhaps the relationship would have still spiraled and ended. But agreeing to nonsense was a bad move regardless.
Your personality might be, but the "vibe" you give off doesn't have to be. Plenty of things can make you more or less attractive, beyond either your appearance or "personality." People think of confidence as related to personality, and it is, but it's also related to where you are in life. So even something as simple as a short run every day, or the classic "hitting the gym" can make you more attractive, even before and differences in physical appearance. Mental state is easier to change than overall personality, and does come through in many ways that other people can pick up on.
Again, it's not about the text. It's about handling extraneous bullshit.
It can. But, again, that wasn't even my point. I wasn't asking people to trick anyone, or play games. I'm saying set boundaries, don't give in just because an ask may be seemingly easy. Going along with bullshit also doesn't get you anywhere. You keep calling it games and tricks. Simply and legitimately saying "no, I don't want to do that" is not a game or a trick.
It is and it isn't. Yes, don't be fake. Don't do tricks. But work to improve yourself. Being "yourself" and accepting that that will dictate your entire life...that puts you completely out of control, and gives up any need to strive for anything. And even if it were true, it's a very traditionally male thing to try to overcome that anyway. Maybe you still lose, sure. But better to have tried. So, yes/no: Don't be yourself...be a better version of yourself.
I wish you'd stop calling them games, but I've already said that repeatedly. But look at it this way, then. If she's already decided how she feels about you, it also doesn't matter the other way. If what she's asking is stupid, and could lead to the spiral described in the video, head that off at the pass and just say you're not interested in that. If you're not attractive enough, she'll dump you anyway. If you are, she'll accept that, and you'll have one less potential relationship-destroying bit of drama floating around. Basically, pick a lane. Assert yourself, say no to bullshit. Or say yes to bullshit, but actually follow throw. Do everything she says. And I'm not even saying that derogatorily, that does work for some relationships. It's a little gross, but if it's a personality match, that's up to them. But agreeing to bullshit and then doing a half-assed job will legitimately have negative effects; the crazy lady in the video is actually right about that.
I hate the PUA stuff. But I'll again say this is a mix of truth and exaggeration. Changing or even just thinking about how you come at social situations will have an effect. In that sense PUA stuff can be helpful...irony is, most of the men who would benefit from it don't have the drive to put in the work to get the benefit from that either.
I'm calling bullshit, and I'm also saying this is defeatist and a self-fulfilling prophecy. Yes, some people have it easier than others. But some people put in the work to be able to be successful.
Do you think there's free will at all? Do you apply this thinking to other aspects of life, or just sexual dynamics? If it's all just innate and you can't change it, why try to change your circumstances or do anything?
I'll just finish on, once again, I never said it was make or break, it's not a trick, and it's not something you need to focus on. All I said was that if you deny the initial silly request, it can help stop that particular chain of drama. You might run into other drama, you might handle that better or worse, the relationship might still end down the line...but saying no was still the right move. It's not about trying to trick her, it's about trying to keep a bit of control and not let chaos overrun the relationship.