posted ago by PraiseBeToScience ago by PraiseBeToScience +16 / -16

You know, the whole "press G, and your rifle instantly transforms into a grenade right in your hands, which is safed with a pin made of overcooked spaghetti noodle so you can simply look at it and it falls out, at which point you quickly throw like you picked up a piece of wood and noticed a huge spider on it, and then a brand new rifle just like the one you had materializes out of the ether and drops into your hands, and this whole process takes no longer than three tenths of a second".

Every single fucking game that has this shit-awful feature is a clusterfuck of endless explosions and random death and shit blowing up everywhere. It basically renders the entire concept of cover and concealment moot, and it's why every game with this feature is almost entirely people running around in the open mag-dumping into other guys standing ten feet away. There's no point in seeking cover, because your opponent will just press their Magic Spell button and cast a fireball.

This shitty feature has meant there's zero risk in throwing grenades. Instead of having to put away your weapon, holding a grenade in two hands, then making a show of pulling the pin, winding up, throwing, and then switching back to your weapon, you just press a button and poof a live grenade flies out of your eyeballs. The window of opportunity is so narrow that getting caught out mid-throw almost never happens.

This has additionally had the consequence of requiring all grenades in FPS games have the power of wet farts, and we ended up introducing relatively silly features like 'throwing back grenades' to compensate for the infinite spam of grenades that FPS games have become. You can't have flashbangs or such be too useful, because they're too easy to stun people with, because they're too easy to throw.

I was a Star Citizen backer, and I bailed and I was on the fence, but refunded when I saw that their Marine Module had quick-throw grenades. I'm just so fucking tired of this idiotic gimmick that has absolutely crippled tactics in favor of wizard spellcasting and magdumping, and the endless explosive popcorn sound of all grenades on all the map exploding all the time at every moment.

Whoever came up with this feature is a fuckass, and I'm 90% certain it was the worthless stupid cunts at Bungie who popularized it. Even regenerating health hasn't been as disastrous (thanks Bungie for that one, too).