Men with hobbies are a red flag to single crazy women
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This may be an unpopular opinion, but I kind of agree. If your whole life is taken up by these types of hobbies, it’s probably not great for you. Having one of these that you enjoy in moderation along with some more traditionally “manly” hobbies is a good idea. I’m a Lego model builder, but I also do plenty of other hobbies, such as running, hiking and boating (sometimes fishing too but I suck at that lol).
C.S. Lewis made a good point about this
"[People] who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
A personal favorite quote.
Did you spend $250 on a collector's item and she is aware of that?
She is thinking that's $250 you chose to ''waste'' instead of spending it on her.
Thus you are ''obsessed'' with your hobby and that's a red flag.
Going to a games convention to see interesting stuff and find a couple old games without the ''e-bay tax''? OMG what a manchild.
Should have spent $250 on a Louis Vuitton purse wallet for her instead./s
Those purses are like $2,500. That now gold-digging these women are.
Yea, "Obsessed" is the important qualifier in what she said and she's 100% correct. Way WAY too many people from Gen X on have just stopped growing once they got too deep into modern entertainment. Men were pushed violently out of their traditional social/work roles, and far too many have taken it as a chance to behave as though they have no responsibility or accountability. I've spent the last decade+ trying to actually keep growing past that childish phase, and like any significant shift in life it's sure not easy, especially with the intense vitriol from the public sphere, but if you can't be assed to even try to actually be a real man (and not what media tells you a man is supposed to be), don't expect women to want you.
Your mistake here is using a genuine, honest definition of obsessed.
I can guarantee you that, "the religious hippie" (lol) definitely is not. What she really means is how dare he have a thing he pays attention to that isn't orbiting me.
The women in this hypothetical aren't actually looking for a husband. They don't want a partner or a lifelong friend or someone to love and cherish. They're looking for a settle. They think they're doing you a favor and their attitude matches that.
ya, this.
This.
She wouldn't say shit if her mouth was full of it if a man that gives her the tingles loves Funko Pops.
And if a man she were attracted too just happened to enjoy attending pre-school story time himself, she wouldn't find that weird either.
The point she's making is that, overwhelmingly, the real men in the real world who collect Funko Pops do NOT give her the tingles.
Why do they demand, bully and henpeck for beta behavior in men - when it immediately turns them off and then a tryst with an Alpha "just happens" ?
Most women are insane, frankly. Lacking direction they flail around unhappily, since society encourages their worst traits and the enemy has defanged the church that would have stood as a good influence.
Its the female version of strength testing. It's why "holding frame" in the red pill community. Women will do the EXACT same thing with two different intents and use various responses to make different conclusions.
To be clearer. "I want to do this" sometimes means "I want to do this" and sometimes it means "I think you dont want to do this, and want you to not let me"
Determining which is happening OR creating a response that satisfies both is the key.
One of her questions is looking to get her needs met, the other is looking to test if you're capable of meeting her needs under duress. In this case, she introduces the duress to make the test.
This is all of course retarded. But what did you expect.
For women, it’s the guy who’s good for you vs. the guy you really want. Before I got married, I had been both situations and the treatment difference is stark. Either way, they are extracting from you.
You're a fucking idiot.
So your claim here then is that the term "man children" is an earnest, honest one? And not one that has been used to attack anyone with hobbies for the last two decades?
Hope she fucks you bro.
Women embellish and over exaggerate all the time.
When she says obsessed, she means a normal amount of time spent on a hobby. having figures, comics. collecting. NOT going crazy with it.
Not my monkeys; not my circus. Accountability is only a White male trait. No woman or minority has any of this.
I'm the same. In my case it was even worse, it took the left ruining my hobbies to realize I had to grow up and not get so obsessed with hobbies. I'm strangely thankful for that.
Bingo. Destroying all the pop culture is a huge boon. I don't watch goyball, comics, cartoons, most movies, etc because of all this. In lieu of that I raise my kids.
She's not necessarily correct, even with the qualifier of being "obsessed".
You're absolutely right about men being pushed out of many of their hobbies and pastimes, and have had to find solace in striking up new... obsessions.
However, being obsessed with these hobbies is not a downside so long as the man is productive and active.
Some of my hobbies do require an obsession or an inordinate amount of time, such as practicing music -- I have had to invest sometimes between two and six hours in a day practicing, building up muscle memory for certain songs or techniques. The obsession is necessary to get good. I also have other hobbies, which can also take up a significant amount of time.
The thing is, are any of those worth sacrificing at this stage in life (too old to start and raise a family) for someone else? Absolutely not. Most men I know in most communities I'm a part of recognise that they inherently get zero value out of giving up the obsession of their hobbies for a woman.
What will she do instead? What time you impart on her benefits you more than improving a skillset, knowledge base, or technique in the hobbies that you find engaging? What will she provide you with that's better for you than the things you actually enjoy? And is it worth the downsides, baggage, and traumas she will bring into your life? (and make no mistake, everyone has baggage, especially the older they get)
If a guy spends 10 hours in a day architecting complex Lego structures, I don't see how that is worse than splitting that time between reorienting your schedule around someone else and spending several of those hours listening to pointless drivel or gossip or sitting on a porch. At least the Legos will give you better insight into structural philosophies, design principles and creative construction.
In short, one keeps the noggin' joggin', the other (usually) does not.
To me, this sounds very much like the arguments made for many LGBTQ issues. Sure, if people can do those things while also being good, upstanding citizens, then there's no problem. Yet a cursory glance at the real world tells you immediately that certain groups are very rarely good, upstanding members of society.
If you can do it, that's great for you. But way WAY too many people think they're the one responsible meth smoker.
The difference is that a man being obsessed with his hobbies can lead to creative, intuitive, and innovative ways of how we look at, expand, and evolve culture. A perfect example of this is Wintergatan....
Combining an obsession of intuitive engineering with classical musical design principles, based on the works of other hobby-obsessed historical figures: https://youtu.be/k8NXF2rtaEg
What you end up with is something awe-inspiring and culturally enriching: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvUU8joBb1Q
The LGBTQ crowd has nothing to offer culture; nothing enriching; nothing uplifting. It's a power-slide down a hill toward reprobate activities with no redeeming factors.
Now it's true -- and you are correct -- there are some hobbies that consume people with no positive outcomes. Indulgence for the sake of indulgence. At which point, the man loses himself in his obsession for nothing.
The bigger question is if his self-destructive obsession with hobbies would be any worse for him than gambling on trying to "better" himself for marriage where the dice-roll is a 50/50 chance of it ending in divorce and a 12% chance it brings him enough ruin to commit suicide?
I've a better idea and it's what I follow in life. I will do what I like as long as it causes no harm to anyone else or impedes on their private property. In return, I will not compel you to do what I do and leave you be. And no, The Religious Hippie being offended by my choice of hobbies in life is not "harm".
Being a useless lout doesn't earn you a place in society. The same goes for aging childless spinsters.
The alternative is to have everyone forced to work and micromanage every minute of their day to maximise revenue. And then remove those who are not maximising revenue from society as dead weight. There's a saying - "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy". Even the likes of Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos need time to decompress and wind down.
Also, the phrasing is important. These aren't hobbies, they're obsessions. It's not "I like movies," or "I like video games," it's "I love Marvel," or "I love Legos."
I don't know this person, and she might very well be insufferable still, but I can certainly see the point she's making. It's not necessarily "how dare a man want to sit around and watch a movie," it's more along the lines of "why is this adult absolutely obsessed with one specific franchise?" It's not a hard and fast dealbreaker necessarily, but I can certainly see the issue.
Hobbies are good. Obsessions can destroy relationships. Some people, very especially nowadays, never learned to moderate. I wouldn't want to be involved with a woman who, for example, needed to see every Marvel movie on opening night, bought all the merch, and all that shit. Too much of that is a major red flag, and men and women should both be very wary getting involved with people like this, as they can't always separate reality from fiction, and also often won't put their real-life relationship first. You can't trust them; they're detached, and are more likely to end up betraying you over stupid shit.