She's not necessarily correct, even with the qualifier of being "obsessed".
You're absolutely right about men being pushed out of many of their hobbies and pastimes, and have had to find solace in striking up new... obsessions.
However, being obsessed with these hobbies is not a downside so long as the man is productive and active.
Some of my hobbies do require an obsession or an inordinate amount of time, such as practicing music -- I have had to invest sometimes between two and six hours in a day practicing, building up muscle memory for certain songs or techniques. The obsession is necessary to get good. I also have other hobbies, which can also take up a significant amount of time.
The thing is, are any of those worth sacrificing at this stage in life (too old to start and raise a family) for someone else? Absolutely not. Most men I know in most communities I'm a part of recognise that they inherently get zero value out of giving up the obsession of their hobbies for a woman.
What will she do instead? What time you impart on her benefits you more than improving a skillset, knowledge base, or technique in the hobbies that you find engaging? What will she provide you with that's better for you than the things you actually enjoy? And is it worth the downsides, baggage, and traumas she will bring into your life? (and make no mistake, everyone has baggage, especially the older they get)
If a guy spends 10 hours in a day architecting complex Lego structures, I don't see how that is worse than splitting that time between reorienting your schedule around someone else and spending several of those hours listening to pointless drivel or gossip or sitting on a porch. At least the Legos will give you better insight into structural philosophies, design principles and creative construction.
In short, one keeps the noggin' joggin', the other (usually) does not.
being obsessed with these hobbies is not a downside so long as the man is productive and active
To me, this sounds very much like the arguments made for many LGBTQ issues. Sure, if people can do those things while also being good, upstanding citizens, then there's no problem. Yet a cursory glance at the real world tells you immediately that certain groups are very rarely good, upstanding members of society.
If you can do it, that's great for you. But way WAY too many people think they're the one responsible meth smoker.
The difference is that a man being obsessed with his hobbies can lead to creative, intuitive, and innovative ways of how we look at, expand, and evolve culture. A perfect example of this is Wintergatan....
Combining an obsession of intuitive engineering with classical musical design principles, based on the works of other hobby-obsessed historical figures:
https://youtu.be/k8NXF2rtaEg
The LGBTQ crowd has nothing to offer culture; nothing enriching; nothing uplifting. It's a power-slide down a hill toward reprobate activities with no redeeming factors.
Now it's true -- and you are correct -- there are some hobbies that consume people with no positive outcomes. Indulgence for the sake of indulgence. At which point, the man loses himself in his obsession for nothing.
The bigger question is if his self-destructive obsession with hobbies would be any worse for him than gambling on trying to "better" himself for marriage where the dice-roll is a 50/50 chance of it ending in divorce and a 12% chance it brings him enough ruin to commit suicide?
She's not necessarily correct, even with the qualifier of being "obsessed".
You're absolutely right about men being pushed out of many of their hobbies and pastimes, and have had to find solace in striking up new... obsessions.
However, being obsessed with these hobbies is not a downside so long as the man is productive and active.
Some of my hobbies do require an obsession or an inordinate amount of time, such as practicing music -- I have had to invest sometimes between two and six hours in a day practicing, building up muscle memory for certain songs or techniques. The obsession is necessary to get good. I also have other hobbies, which can also take up a significant amount of time.
The thing is, are any of those worth sacrificing at this stage in life (too old to start and raise a family) for someone else? Absolutely not. Most men I know in most communities I'm a part of recognise that they inherently get zero value out of giving up the obsession of their hobbies for a woman.
What will she do instead? What time you impart on her benefits you more than improving a skillset, knowledge base, or technique in the hobbies that you find engaging? What will she provide you with that's better for you than the things you actually enjoy? And is it worth the downsides, baggage, and traumas she will bring into your life? (and make no mistake, everyone has baggage, especially the older they get)
If a guy spends 10 hours in a day architecting complex Lego structures, I don't see how that is worse than splitting that time between reorienting your schedule around someone else and spending several of those hours listening to pointless drivel or gossip or sitting on a porch. At least the Legos will give you better insight into structural philosophies, design principles and creative construction.
In short, one keeps the noggin' joggin', the other (usually) does not.
To me, this sounds very much like the arguments made for many LGBTQ issues. Sure, if people can do those things while also being good, upstanding citizens, then there's no problem. Yet a cursory glance at the real world tells you immediately that certain groups are very rarely good, upstanding members of society.
If you can do it, that's great for you. But way WAY too many people think they're the one responsible meth smoker.
The difference is that a man being obsessed with his hobbies can lead to creative, intuitive, and innovative ways of how we look at, expand, and evolve culture. A perfect example of this is Wintergatan....
Combining an obsession of intuitive engineering with classical musical design principles, based on the works of other hobby-obsessed historical figures: https://youtu.be/k8NXF2rtaEg
What you end up with is something awe-inspiring and culturally enriching: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvUU8joBb1Q
The LGBTQ crowd has nothing to offer culture; nothing enriching; nothing uplifting. It's a power-slide down a hill toward reprobate activities with no redeeming factors.
Now it's true -- and you are correct -- there are some hobbies that consume people with no positive outcomes. Indulgence for the sake of indulgence. At which point, the man loses himself in his obsession for nothing.
The bigger question is if his self-destructive obsession with hobbies would be any worse for him than gambling on trying to "better" himself for marriage where the dice-roll is a 50/50 chance of it ending in divorce and a 12% chance it brings him enough ruin to commit suicide?