men my age (45) are generally not patient or wanting a life partner
Well I'm basically that age. I'd never say life partner because that sounds gay, but I'm only interested in a relationship for the sake of family, or not at all. The vast majority of those of us that are left at that age are willing to be on our own versus picking up someone else's discarded problem. So yeah, in a lot of cases we seek a unicorn, but it's better than getting our soul sucked away and then taken for everything else we have left.
I'm over a decade younger than you are and I'm in a similar boat, only I wouldn't even entertain a relationshit for a family. The divorce laws give women way too much power over men for that to be a viable option for me.
I'd say for me there's a difference between entertaining and actively seeking such a relationship, and I'm certainly not doing the latter at this point. I did hit a point where in a way I look back and wonder if I should have had a family, and I think many do at a certain age. The shriveled up cat ladies even more so than men. I don't have any real time where I set aside a real solid option in the past that would cause regret, so it's not something that bothers me. I do think most men at some point in their life seek a connection to the future, and for me that's my nephews and a close cousin all of which are probably the most important family members to me.
Same here. I would love to have kids, and would be a great dad. However, I will never participate in a system that will gladly take my kids, my house, and half of my retirement savings just to give them to a cheating whore who decided she was bored in the relationship and decided she wants to use the power of the state to destroy me.
Make sure you know the Common Law marriage laws for your area before shacking up with someone. Even if you don’t say “I do,” Uncle Sam might say it for you.
Not when there are kids involved. The lack of parental rights by default is the problem, and there is no way to avoid it, outside of surrogacy or adoption.
There's a ton legal liabilities that come with cohabitation, even without kids. They just vary by state a lot more than the ones that come with marriage and kids. The biggest problem is that she can claim common law marriage to drag you into divorce court. If your plan relies on a divorce court judge ruling against a woman you need a different plan.
Yeah there's plenty of men her age looking for a life partner, just not one with that much baggage. The entitlement these post wall women have, especially ones with high maintenance children, is off the charts
In a similar position and have many friends that are the same. The point of marriage was supposed to be to start a family and have a life partner in doing so. If someone’s not willing to have kids, or more often now as well, not willing to be a life partner in any meaningfully helpful way, I don’t see the point. Women offer children, companionship, and helping out in domestic and financial ways. If they don’t want children, don’t want to help out domestically or financially or at all really, and are basically only having sex and hanging out with you, there is nothing to be gained in marriage for a man but increasing his financial risks immensely.
If all a girl wants to do with you indefinitely is have sex and hang out and not even help with anything, it’d make more sense to eventually find another girl or just have sex with more girls if you yourself didn’t want kids or something. I can see marriage with a life partner that helps and contributes and you love and all that even sans kids because you both don’t want them or can’t have them, but very few girls past 30 like that even exist anymore. Or under 30.
I have one super duper hot female model friend past 40 that’s dating some rich top 1-5% type of guy I know that works his ass off and hustles with stressful, high risk 80 hour weeks. She doesn’t want kids, doesn’t really contribute anything but her vagina, he pays for everything as she lives rent free in a mansion, and is basically just his personal porn star in her words. She really wants marriage but he doesn’t and even got snipped recently so she can’t oops baby him. She at least eventually resigned herself to that because she’s not going to do any better, but I know him and he’d easily have just wifed her if she wanted a family or to have kids or something. She’s continually drugged out on pharma meds for anxiety and depression issues that I think are just her having failed to have kids, despite living in a little mansion and having not one worry or care in the world otherwise. We’re friends so I’ve tried telling her to just have kids and all that since before she was past 40, but she couldn’t stand anything getting in the way of her partying and drinking it seems. A lot of fun to know and be around, 11/10 to look at, one of the top bods and even personalities on the planet probably, and even then she can’t get anyone decent to wife her without her having kids.
Yeah, my advice for the young is really find someone young (20s), marry and start family, and grow up together. This freaks out a lot of people because they will go on, “ahhh you’re giving up your career, you need to go to college and find yourself!” At the very latest, it’s the next step right after 4 years in college. I interact with a lot of successful business people as part of my work, and attendance and experience at a fancy college is not that common. People skills and experience trump college 100x. I never hear anyone talk about college, but they talk about their kids constantly.
Obviously I didn’t go this route, and I don’t regret it. I really have never been one to want kids, I’m terrible with young kids, and I didn’t know how much of a gift I have with teenagers until I was older. I’ve adapted and I’m happy. It seems to hit women a lot differently as they are older they turn to drugs and cats.
More of the 18-21 year old guys I know now are doing that while in undergrad. Young guys now are way more conservative. I know one kid that doesn’t even like hot lesbians in movies. Told one of them that college was the time in his life he’d be around the most available women before they’re all broken and used up and SSRI’d. He’s doing his best.
Depends on what school you go to as well I suppose. I went to a top tier school so we talk about that all the time and it does connect you to various folks that meet a certain standard. Not sure how much that holds up for the folks currently in them. If it’s not one of those colleges, I wouldn’t recommend people go for most things. Still working on kids myself, mostly wishing I’d had it done earlier but again, alternative is unlimited sex so it’s not like I’m suffering on that front.
Yeah, I did build up more of my connections later, so I can see at least some value in networking at a big school. It's odd for me too having been pretty quiet as a kid to now working in a role where a lot of what I do requires some degree of social interaction. I tell the young people I know, start with learning something that someone will actually pay you to do, and go from there. If that requires college, fine, if it doesn't then fine, and almost never is there any reason for college debt. I owe a ton of where I am to starting my life not sitting on 100k of alcoholic boozefest experience with a piece of paper attached.
I would agree that a lot of young guys are more conservative. I can't really put my finger on any guy I know in the 15-25 group that is just bat shit crazy. I'm sure they exist and I deal solely with "flyover country", but most of what I know are pretty decent conservative guys.
Well I'm basically that age. I'd never say life partner because that sounds gay, but I'm only interested in a relationship for the sake of family, or not at all. The vast majority of those of us that are left at that age are willing to be on our own versus picking up someone else's discarded problem. So yeah, in a lot of cases we seek a unicorn, but it's better than getting our soul sucked away and then taken for everything else we have left.
I'm over a decade younger than you are and I'm in a similar boat, only I wouldn't even entertain a relationshit for a family. The divorce laws give women way too much power over men for that to be a viable option for me.
I'd say for me there's a difference between entertaining and actively seeking such a relationship, and I'm certainly not doing the latter at this point. I did hit a point where in a way I look back and wonder if I should have had a family, and I think many do at a certain age. The shriveled up cat ladies even more so than men. I don't have any real time where I set aside a real solid option in the past that would cause regret, so it's not something that bothers me. I do think most men at some point in their life seek a connection to the future, and for me that's my nephews and a close cousin all of which are probably the most important family members to me.
Same here. I would love to have kids, and would be a great dad. However, I will never participate in a system that will gladly take my kids, my house, and half of my retirement savings just to give them to a cheating whore who decided she was bored in the relationship and decided she wants to use the power of the state to destroy me.
Just don't get married -- you can live together endlessly and not have any legal obligations when it's time to bounce
Make sure you know the Common Law marriage laws for your area before shacking up with someone. Even if you don’t say “I do,” Uncle Sam might say it for you.
Not when there are kids involved. The lack of parental rights by default is the problem, and there is no way to avoid it, outside of surrogacy or adoption.
There's a ton legal liabilities that come with cohabitation, even without kids. They just vary by state a lot more than the ones that come with marriage and kids. The biggest problem is that she can claim common law marriage to drag you into divorce court. If your plan relies on a divorce court judge ruling against a woman you need a different plan.
Translation: men my age don't want ME as a life partner
Yeah there's plenty of men her age looking for a life partner, just not one with that much baggage. The entitlement these post wall women have, especially ones with high maintenance children, is off the charts
better to have high standards and be alone than to settle for an imperfect relationship.
In a similar position and have many friends that are the same. The point of marriage was supposed to be to start a family and have a life partner in doing so. If someone’s not willing to have kids, or more often now as well, not willing to be a life partner in any meaningfully helpful way, I don’t see the point. Women offer children, companionship, and helping out in domestic and financial ways. If they don’t want children, don’t want to help out domestically or financially or at all really, and are basically only having sex and hanging out with you, there is nothing to be gained in marriage for a man but increasing his financial risks immensely.
If all a girl wants to do with you indefinitely is have sex and hang out and not even help with anything, it’d make more sense to eventually find another girl or just have sex with more girls if you yourself didn’t want kids or something. I can see marriage with a life partner that helps and contributes and you love and all that even sans kids because you both don’t want them or can’t have them, but very few girls past 30 like that even exist anymore. Or under 30.
I have one super duper hot female model friend past 40 that’s dating some rich top 1-5% type of guy I know that works his ass off and hustles with stressful, high risk 80 hour weeks. She doesn’t want kids, doesn’t really contribute anything but her vagina, he pays for everything as she lives rent free in a mansion, and is basically just his personal porn star in her words. She really wants marriage but he doesn’t and even got snipped recently so she can’t oops baby him. She at least eventually resigned herself to that because she’s not going to do any better, but I know him and he’d easily have just wifed her if she wanted a family or to have kids or something. She’s continually drugged out on pharma meds for anxiety and depression issues that I think are just her having failed to have kids, despite living in a little mansion and having not one worry or care in the world otherwise. We’re friends so I’ve tried telling her to just have kids and all that since before she was past 40, but she couldn’t stand anything getting in the way of her partying and drinking it seems. A lot of fun to know and be around, 11/10 to look at, one of the top bods and even personalities on the planet probably, and even then she can’t get anyone decent to wife her without her having kids.
Yeah, my advice for the young is really find someone young (20s), marry and start family, and grow up together. This freaks out a lot of people because they will go on, “ahhh you’re giving up your career, you need to go to college and find yourself!” At the very latest, it’s the next step right after 4 years in college. I interact with a lot of successful business people as part of my work, and attendance and experience at a fancy college is not that common. People skills and experience trump college 100x. I never hear anyone talk about college, but they talk about their kids constantly.
Obviously I didn’t go this route, and I don’t regret it. I really have never been one to want kids, I’m terrible with young kids, and I didn’t know how much of a gift I have with teenagers until I was older. I’ve adapted and I’m happy. It seems to hit women a lot differently as they are older they turn to drugs and cats.
More of the 18-21 year old guys I know now are doing that while in undergrad. Young guys now are way more conservative. I know one kid that doesn’t even like hot lesbians in movies. Told one of them that college was the time in his life he’d be around the most available women before they’re all broken and used up and SSRI’d. He’s doing his best.
Depends on what school you go to as well I suppose. I went to a top tier school so we talk about that all the time and it does connect you to various folks that meet a certain standard. Not sure how much that holds up for the folks currently in them. If it’s not one of those colleges, I wouldn’t recommend people go for most things. Still working on kids myself, mostly wishing I’d had it done earlier but again, alternative is unlimited sex so it’s not like I’m suffering on that front.
Yeah, I did build up more of my connections later, so I can see at least some value in networking at a big school. It's odd for me too having been pretty quiet as a kid to now working in a role where a lot of what I do requires some degree of social interaction. I tell the young people I know, start with learning something that someone will actually pay you to do, and go from there. If that requires college, fine, if it doesn't then fine, and almost never is there any reason for college debt. I owe a ton of where I am to starting my life not sitting on 100k of alcoholic boozefest experience with a piece of paper attached.
I would agree that a lot of young guys are more conservative. I can't really put my finger on any guy I know in the 15-25 group that is just bat shit crazy. I'm sure they exist and I deal solely with "flyover country", but most of what I know are pretty decent conservative guys.
I'm much younger and I'm not doing that gay shit either or playing step daddy