Nothing particularly insightful, but… It doesn’t surprise me in the slightest that this phenom is becoming more common…
Like, I’ve had some really bad stuff happen this week, because I let the wrong person into my life (again), but beyond that… Even just “going out into the world” can be so fucking hostile, it’s really no surprise people retreat like that…
“Social dysfunction” isn’t as obvious where I am as it might be elsewhere. Certainly, you don’t really see it, but have a conversation with the wrong person, or even just sit and observe long enough, and it becomes readily apparent that we’ve become a wider society of petty hostility and just general… Unpleasantness.
Places like NYC, Sydney and arguably Tokyo were always like this, but it’s largely “leaked” far beyond that now. Everyone feels like they’re out to get each other, or at each other’s throats, and that if you don’t play along with the odd beliefs of the person you are talking to? They might just decide to do something really nasty…
A 95-year old with dementia was tasered to death in a nursing home in Sydney a week ago (“She was carrying a knife!”). Just yesterday, a huge fire engulfed a massive historic building in Sydney, and no one put it out, until it was a raging inferno enough to destroy the entire thing (the circumstances of all that are very weird)…
Then there has been escalating brawls and attacks on police in several QLD cities this week.
It all feels… Increasingly hostile. And this is in Australia… “Commie shithole” aside, some of these things are quite unheard of…
So… Filtering this down into “ordinary interactions”, where people have become so hypersensitive and hostile about every disagreement, every little thing… It’s no wonder, honestly, that some young men have decided “Fuck this, why the fuck should I even bother anymore?”
I know I feel that way about “friendship” at this point, so for me, that’s pretty damn understandable…
Just my 10c.
Realizing that most people are morons who aren't worth the effort of talking to, and being a shut in, are two very different things. It's not a dysfunction either, society really is collapsible around us. Some faster than others.
From an American perspective, the challenge has become that there’s no tolerance anymore. Unfortunately I have a lot of liberal friends and it’s an exhausting experience because I know the moment let slip my more conservative viewpoints I’ll be excoriated for it. They were scandalized when I said I couldn’t go to a bar with them because I don’t have proof of vaccination (because I’m not vaccinated). “Why not?” “I didn’t know you’re a reTrumpican!” It took a lot of effort on my part to not call them a bunch of retards and end the relationships right there. Pretty sure there would have been a time when they would’ve responded with the same dispassion as learning I’m behind on tetanus shots. So yeah, people just aren’t worth the effort. It used to be a sign of weakness to not be friends with people who weren’t just like you, but now it’s a matter of survival.
I had that (vaxx thing), once, at an extended family dinner…
I posted about it at the time.
My uncle’s “girlfriend”…
Went full off at me, too. For like half an hour. To the point where I thought she might do something violent. In front of everyone…
I’ve barely spoken to her since, despite running into her multiple times. And it fundamentally altered my (already tense) relationship with my uncle, too…
So yeah.
Then again, my family also treats being unemployed as like a drug addiction or a disease (lol), so…
Anyway, I feel ya, man.
What's both sad and funny for me is how this is like a "take 2" of what I already had to endure when I was growing up with overly religious conservatives, and me being ex-religious. Only now it's the inverse extreme.
Bleh. I'm so bloody sick of all the mindless sheep in this world.
True.
It’s not so much that people I meet are morons, so much as they are so damn hostile and tetchy…
Everyone’s very edgy, and very… Distrusting, at the moment. Or the café staff who act like doing their job properly is a chore, for example (this isn’t America, remember. People don’t give a shit about service here).
It all gets… A bit much.
I’ve seen a lot of shit this week, both IRL and online, that has left me feeling pretty bleak.
The morons, as you say, I mostly saw online…
All of whom had a superiority complex, because they were so “woke” and “up with it”. Funny that…
I was talking to a girl, this week - she randomly decides to mention that she is reading Hebrew apocalyptic texts, and that she was a practicing Wiccan at one point…
I respond with something like “Oh, ok, that’s interesting”, and try my best to steer the conversation back to some sort of normality…
She decides that isn’t good enough, explodes at me and cuts off all contact.
It had been going fine before that.
People are fucking weird. Millennial women perhaps especially (no offense to those here who read this)…
Yes, I probably dodged a bullet, but also… Doesn’t feel great, you know?
Wasted time and effort, if nothing else…
I would note, there was zero indication that this would be the case, and zero prompting from my end…
She seemed a bit odd, maybe, and certainly a bit insecure, but this was… Very out of the blue.
Almost like she had already decided she didn’t really like me, and just wanted to throw some weird shit into the conversation to test my response, and have an excuse to cut me out of her life…
But who knows. I just don’t know.
But regardless it has put me off even wanting to converse with women online for a while, lol…
This wasn’t a Tinder date, either. It was someone I had something “in common” with.
But fuck if it didn’t go from “Fine” to “complete fucking disaster” extremely quickly…
sigh
Yeah, I mean in this case, to play Devil’s Advocate for a sec, I wonder if it might well be that I had “fulfilled my usefulness” to her…
Because I had helped her out with something, over the previous weeks (nothing financial, she just needed a confidence boost for job interviews) - that finished up two days ago (i.e. she no longer needed it), and all was swell until the next day, when it got real bad, real quick…
Which is partly why this sucks, because I feel used…
I don’t know if that was it, of course, because she gave no indication, but it may well be…
Timing lines up, at least.
I dunno. She said and did some really weird things yesterday, and I tried to respond as cautiously and kindly as I could, but as you say, URGABLURGA!
But it’s not that which annoys me - it’s the sudden, without warning, ghosting and blocking everywhere…
Because then it’s like, “The fuck did I do? In no way did I deserve that.”
Eugh…
One of the things I had to learn the hard way, especially when helping people, is: don't do anything you would feel bad about if no one thanked you.
If you help someone, and they ghost you, you should have the attitude of "whatever, this person isn't worth my time", not "why was I not good enough". If it's the latter, you likely overcommitted, which seems likely, to judge by your story. Emotionally supporting women is onerous work, and is why the field of psychotherapy even exists.
You feel "used" because you performed the equivalent emotional labour of giving her free handjobs. Unless you enjoyed doing it, you just exhausted yourself for nothing.
I admit it did feel like I was walking on eggshells with this girl, on multiple occasions. Particularly in the lead up to last night...
I should have just slowly beat my own retreat, maybe.
But then, ghosting isn't fun, for anyone.
I dunno. Shit situation, we both made mistakes. Then she exploded it all.
All I can really do now is move on, and do better next time.
Oh, I "enjoyed" talking to her, for a while. I wasn't just helping for the sake of it, or indeed because she asked (also because I couldn't avoid her for the last three weeks, so not helping would have just made it awkward)...
I was helping because she genuinely seemed like decent company, at least initially, and we had good chats, if you will.
There were some red flags, I suppose, but even up until yesterday morning, it was all totally fine.
And then... I started to realise things were off. By yesterday afternoon it was "exercise caution", and I was quite prepared to say "Ok, well this has been good, I'll see you round", but then she messaged me, and I made normal conversation (as normal as I could, as I explained above).
But somehow that last conversation was enough for her decide to just completely ghost me and block me out, everywhere, out of nowhere...
I very much doubt it was that convo that did it, though. I think she had already decided beforehand, and just decided to "be extra weird" to see how I would respond, and then pulled the plug, but what do I know...
Dunno. It all went very hard and fast. Most of the "outreach" ("Find me on this social media!", etc) was done by her, but most of the conversational effort was by me. Regardless, it really shouldn't have blown up quite this fast.
Nothing on my end suggested that things would go this way, but then again, I guess most guys feel that way, when blindsided (mostly) like this...
I watched The Devil's Advocate (1997) with Keanu Reeves and Al Pacino the other day.
Held up pretty well.
Al Pacino pretty convincing as Satan. The principal from Ferris Bueller gets beaten to death by homeless bums. Pacino tries to convince Reeves to sleep with his sister to create the antichrist.
Been meaning to watch that for about a decade lol. Never got around to it.
To add to my other comment to you, what you describe also fit almost 1:1 with my experiences with regards to my own "unhinged chick". Eggshells, suspecting she'd gotten what she needed from me when she cut me off, etc.
And the emotional ramifications are about the same as well. It's such a slap in the face kind of thing without any kind of proper closure.
Had this happen to me with a zoomer woman. Only admittedly, I'd probly done a little more to offend her, but it was still a pretty mild thing, and we'd known each other for 4-5 years. She also knew I was going through a tough time, but decided she wouldn't even hear anything else I had to say, cutting me off from even defending myself and blocking me entirely.
Kind of glad she's out of my life, but still infuriated that I wasn't even allowed a moment to defend myself. There's just so many unhinged nutjobs, I swear.
I'll keep reposting this as long as it's true:
Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld & co. made a social commentary about this back in the 90s with Kramer getting bullied by the gays for not wearing the AIDs ribbon during the march.
Western society has been an empty husk of make-work nonsense and superficial relationships, since at least my childhood. For most of my life this was a great source of disillusionment, as I felt poisoned by malaise at the sight of people bustling and slaving away their youthful years, with no prospect of deeper lasting fulfilment in sight. The situation in 2023 is particularly bad, probably worse than it's ever been except during the twilight of other great civilisations. The kind of everyday life which so disillusioned me still served to provide comfort and routine to humanity at large - normies - as long as they weren't too inclined towards existential tail-chasing, but not any more. Even the most basic ideas of what life could and should be, the foundational assumptions of humanity and interpersonal trust, are breaking down through moral subversion. This is what's causing hikikomoris to cash out in great numbers - they're told to 'be a man' in one ear, then clawed and scratched for any assertion of masculinity, by feminists shrieking in their other ear. And it's the same party in both ears. Similar basic contradictions are the culprit for other people washing their hands of society in the way you mention.
On the flipside, I feel better than ever. The nihilist cloud I mentioned started to thin a little throughout my 30s and was finally blown away by the pandemic, by what I can only call a process of self-discovery. There is no blueprint to share (yet) other than to say you can get there by going to church, but it's not the only way nor was it my way. More important than knowledge of a greater power is knowledge of the power that animates you, a recognition of your own nature and an acceptance of your own vital impulse. A connection to life (and the infinite, if you want it) comes naturally once you've solved your own place within it. It boils down to knowing yourself, as in the first Delphic maxim.
Having walked this route doesn't turn you into the life of the party or a hedge fund manager or a film star nor does it tighten your abs. It doesn't necessarily make you trust the average person any more than you do now, but you do become more loving and accepting of the reality that most people are sheep, requiring guidance, and that there is a spiritual elite in the world. It helps you understand that masculinity is a human constant, among many other human constants, and it can't be factored out nor rationalised away by reddit soybeards. I think it's more evident than ever that this dried out mess of tangled ivy which passes for society, having lost it's few remaining roots, now needs true green shoots pushing up from beneath. Shaming tactics designed to force men into self-denial should be seen for what they are, and their growing loss of potency IMO accounts for the resurgence in shamelessly 'radical' and extreme viewpoints which the establishment is struggling to suppress. It's a cliche but the route to fixing everything else is fixing you.
On the personal level regarding your anecdotes, I don't see a reason to hold back or deflect with these people. For a start, if you see society as increasingly fraudulent, why even criticise the woman for cheating on her qualification? Perhaps it's someone to bond with over her spite towards empty academic credentials. Alternatively if it makes you angry, then do criticise her, tell her she's contributing to the downfall of society, and describe why she shouldn't be doing that.
Similarly the wiccan. Why deflect? Her saying something stupid costs you nothing, so ask for more info. If what she said sounds sounds evil say it's evil. If it's confusing say it's confusing. If you don't want to talk about shit like that, tell her why. Or state your own beliefs and say why they're better. These just sound like opportunities to assert your own identity. Rather than bemoan what looks like insanity, realise that femininity always resembles fucking madness when allowed to flow unchecked, which is why they seek out masculinity for pushback and surety in what is otherwise a formless and chaotic life, when you subtract several of the essential human elements. They want to be reminded masculinity exists. This also explains how this plays out on the societal level, when women rage at 'incels' for not playing the game that they themselves have browbeaten the men out of playing. It's a problem that can't be quickly fixed on the social level, but you can make a start through your personal interactions. Doesn't mean you have to get married afterwards either, ghost her if she's a waste of time. And your own time becomes much more valuable when you know yourself!
I'm still moving through the black pill phase and need to get closer to where you are.
The older I get the more I notice how The Matrix was stunningly representative of real life and philosophical consequences of living in post-post-modernism, even if that wasn't the intent by the writers. It's a template you can extend and apply to many social ills. (Simulacra and Simulation too)
On this point, I've accepted that the media and its amplification of accepted cultural or political narratives is like a self-defense mechanism for The System. It's easy to blame the architects of Control and desire to tear it down, but in truth the Collective wants their control and have cooperated in creating it. Most people need to live in that fake reality to function. Otherwise they would end up like us or worse.
Anyway I appreciated reading your bite of wisdom here and have bookmarked it, so thanks for that.
As much as I've gotten better at withholding my disdain for the Collective, I still seethe at the elements of Control. But it's less a result of the elitist control itself and more the fact that they're abusing their charge. The puppets submit to puppeteering by their nature, it's just not nice seeing them vandalised.
I often think of Slavoj Zizek's short breakdown of They Live, along these lines. There's little I agree with him on these days and he can't resist pigeonholing the movie as a classic of 'the left', but his analysis of why the fight scene lasts so long rings true. People will actively resist and fight against 'putting the glasses on', because their deluded existence is the more comfortable one. Even the knowledge on some level that they're deluded can't easily overturn this.
No problem, if it seems like wisdom to at least one other person then that's something. On blackpill detox, I have vague ideas of tying together everything that helped me and repackaging it in some form, at some date, but it's hard to know where to start because it varies so much on everybody's respective starting point. So rather than blather in circles, for now I cop out and tend to go back to 'know thyself'.
I understand why people retreat to tiny abodes and never return, but I do have a problem with people retreating and never fighting back.
Yeah, I get it. It comes from a place of not needing society to be content.
The problem is that society needs you, even though it's acting like a stuck up bitch at the moment.
I try to push back. But when you push back and no one else around you stands with you, or even supports you when the inevitable consequences come, it becomes hard to sustain…
Unfortunately.
Then it will take a BIG push to get our world back.
This week has been so stressful that my body seems to have just decided “Nup”.
I was going to do work tonight (so wouldn’t have gone out anyway), but extremely shit day adds to shit week, and I just decided to rest, instead…
So yeah. I appreciate that would be different, say, for those who don’t have depression or a chronic illness that is badly exacerbated by stress (it’s so bad, I can’t even tell you), but also…
I think sometimes you have to give yourself recovery time, when someone really dicks you over, so… Even without the other things, I think it’s fair that I’ve given myself Friday night “off”, essentially, to be honest…
Like… I would love to “just push through”, but sometimes that just isn’t an option, you know?
In short, I genuinely can’t understand those people who “go party” every weekend, no matter how bad their week has been…
I guess I’m just not that good at “faking it”. 🤷🏻♂️
All I want to do is sleep.
Yeah. I actually really like people. But I don’t particularly like “clubbing” and the like…
Nonetheless, I would have happily done the “Go to pub and drink” thing, tonight, but yeah, like you said, alcohol as coping…
In the end, though, I didn’t really have a choice. Tonight should have been a work night (i.e. working on projects and study. Nothing paid), but I just…
Physically can’t manage that rn. Oh well.
Your posting seems ok to me. 🙂
At least you’re not claiming to be a Wiccan artist turned Catholic wannabe psychotherapist (yes, really), anyway! 😂
Honestly, I’m just glad to have conversations that aren’t about ChatGPT or Netflix, because apart from psycho witch chick, that’s pretty much all anyone else wants to talk about now…
sigh
I met a stoner on Wednesday who openly admitted that she cheated her way to an HD… Possibly partly by using ChatGPT, but mostly just by not doing the work, and looking up the answers…
As someone who had legitimately put effort into the same subject, but who had to drop it (life…), that didn’t exactly assist my faith in society, I’ll say that much.
I've been married for nearly 15 years, so I am perfectly aware my advice might be out of date, or maybe you just have tried it all before.
But as someone who's not part of the woke mob, I think it will be a miracle if you find somebody non-woke out in the open dating market.
The first thing I can tell you is that you need to become financially stable. If you're broke, that'll seriously limit your pool of possible mates. Having a solid financial life will also do wonders for your confidence and attitude.
The other thing I could advise you is to be in places where people aren't woke. A lot of people will mention church, and it's definitely a place to look, but even if you're not Christian, maybe going to Christian charities like soup kitchens and give them a hand. Also you could try getting into some kind of rougher sport where men and women train together like martial arts, triathlon and such. I'd give Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu a try, but then again I'm partial to it.
I feel for you my man. I have it very clear in my mind that if I had been born 15 years later, I wouldn't have had normal dating life.
Based. I hope they move on to politicians next.
It’s Abos and teenagers.
They’re effectively protected classes, particularly the Abos…
You know that won’t happen, lol.
Also, punching a young female cop in the face and breaking her nose (among other things) does nothing except turn most of society against you…
Well, except for the cops who killed the 95 year old. I’m sure quite a few wouldn’t mind a bit of “payback” there. But different state, different situation, and very, very geographically far away from the nose-breakers…
I suppose you're right. As long as she wasn't and wouldn't be one of the cops who enforced lockdowns and other restrictions on the people. In that case she deserves far worse, but let's assume she just joined the force and she's one of "the good ones." People shouldn't go around randomly punching others.
On the other hand most of society is the problem. They supported taking away my freedom and said I'm a bad person and killing grandma if I don't get vaxxmaxxed. But media propaganda and all that...
Divide and conquer is how Color Revolution works.
The only way to win is not to play at all. Go your own way and ignore all the feminist (and traditionalist) propaganda.
No OP. It's not like that at all everywhere.
Go to a outskirt village near a small town in UK and you'll find that most people are too bussy with their own stuff to go after each other.
It's just your prison colony being a prison colony.