Seriously. I'd have literally nothing in common with them, and we would almost surely despise each other. So what would the friendship even be based on?

I have a lot of work acquaintances who I know are lefties to varying degrees who I can be cordial with, but I would in no way consider them friends.

I now only have leftists acquaintances. 4 years of Trump and the BLM riots showed why it was better to keep them at a distance.

The only left friends I have are had and don't know it. I am polite because I have to work with them. I do not do more than reply hello back.

One's a closet lesbo who hangs with other closet lesbos in their women's group who post their once a month camping trips and feminist brainwashing meetings in between posts about her Jeebus.

One's a massive judgemental bitch who thinks it's okay for her to be a bitch, but anyone else have negative opinions and they need to fuck off right now. She's such a piece of shit she got a queer gay guy who was fired from his customer service job for stealing thousands from my store, a job at her bank because they are friends.

One's a massive bitch to everyone, snapping and yelling at them, then fake laughing when she realizes she pushed too far. Even her only surviving kid wants nothing to do with her unless he needs money (which is frequently because he's a loser too.)

Things our enemies do are bad and should be mocked, while things we do are self-expression and beyond reproach, bigot.

The entire alphabet soup people are on so many drugs that when they get buried they are classified as chemical waste

Normally I’d agree but I’ll give this attempt here 6/10.

Can -> could.
Remove emoji. Remove the word maybe. Find a fitting image, maybe Joe dirt.

The “maybe” makes the line soft and weak wristed.

It feels that way sometimes.