Mine… Is really not good. Like, even by my standards (which some of you have seen, lol), this is really, really bad.
I think there’s a few things at play, there: realizing I’m even worse “off”, in terms of “life progress”, than I thought. Realizing my financial and social situation is worse than I perhaps realized. Spending even more time around family that I obviously do not get along with (I’ve dreaded Christmas Day for the entire year, let’s be clear about that), or just… The supreme feelings of crushing loneliness and… “Emptiness” that this time of year tends to stir.
I’m sure I’m not alone in some of that. I think it’s a well-observed “phenom” that this time of year is awful, for mental health, for many people. So I hope you’re all doing ok in that regard.
On a more “political” note, seeing as we tend to prefer that here, lol, I’ve realized this week, perhaps, just how powerless we all are, to fight back against the worst of this dystopian corporate bullshit we all find ourselves amongst.
Like, I was even talking to, in essence, “leftists”, online, earlier this week, and even they think what is happening, with our corporate-tech-overlord-virtue-signalling dystopia is getting out of hand… And that’s in places with “left wing” governments, too. Even then, the problems have become so apparent, that leftists will begrudgingly acknowledge that something is wrong, even if they won’t admit the source…
No one will do anything. It really feels like we can’t do anything. Even working for, or being a client/member of, one of these corporations/banks/entities, you realize that you basically cannot do anything at all…
Maybe that contributed to the “badness” I have been feeling this week. Maybe not. But yeah, just thought I’d share, in case anyone else is “going through it”, this week.
You’re not alone, if so.
Keep it real.
I have found that the more the world goes to hell, the more it matters keeping my space in order, creating the order I can in my immediate environment. Tending the plant on my desk or adding words to a manuscript is orders of magnitude better for me than anything I can learn by examining the scope of the decline of the West.
Tend your garden. Care for yourself. The world can burn (or not) very well on its own.
Loneliness is being with people you love, and knowing they don't return it.
Loneliness is when your house is empty because your wife died three years ago.
Loneliness is burying a loyal pet.
I'm actually doing well. Lots of work. Tons of messed up stuff, but I found joy and possibilities for the future. I really hope they all work out.
I know all about 1 and 3, lol…
Sorry to hear about 2, if that applies to you. 😔
Obviously I haven’t experienced that. Would have to get to the point of being married, first, which… I’m no longer holding out hope for, unfortunately…
But yeah, loneliness is a lot of things. I agree these are some.
Loneliness is seeing your wife drunk on the floor and knowing she will be like this tomorrow as well.
I've had things that rhyme with some of these. They feel terrible.
On the other hand, the love of my life and I met in our forties and had to deal with all the baggage that creates. I honestly thought it would never happen, but then it did. Nerds take time I guess.
God bless you man.
Just give no fucks. If they can't be civil, go scorched earth. Call maskers idiots. Praise Trump and DeSantis. Call the authoritarian government of Australia a tyrannical bunch of idiots.
Quit caring. If they get mad, just laugh. It'll be great for your mental health.
Honestly? I'm doing pretty ok. Just started a new job with some old coworkers and it's looking like it might be a decent group of people to work with for a while. Going to be spending time with the family, so no social isolation or depression for me.
Bad case of the Decembers, but honest to God I've been coming out of it more and more. The demoralization subsides when I put on my schizo-goggles and recognize these things for what they are - the situation is helpless because we are atomized, and the evil of this world keeps dissoluting the child of our collective germination like Saturn eating his own children.
Like many strange poetic parallels do, the motions will play out and Saturn will be castrated by his children of circumstance. We need only facilitate and maintain the context for good, even if it is to a limited degree and at haphazard of ourselves. The threat of the castrating child will always exist so long as we do; this is why the irrational fear of a white collectivization exists in the first place. This is why they fear their slaves escaping the plantation. This is why they feminize, commodify, castrate, isolate, disrupt and confuse. It's why venom seeps out of their fangs at the mere mention Jesus, who brought a sword to "children".
Aye, we should be as children said Paul, the budding cognition of collective awareness unto the sublime. Those who play the accuser and seducer angel ought to know that Samael is castrated by God.
Rolling along. This year was certainly rough mentally for me, but a little bit of hiking cures just about anything. Certainly doing better as Christmas and the New Years approaches.
You obviously got some shit going on but at any point you’re 6-12 months from turning it all around. Learn to code, dude, and find an entry level or part time job that will pay you to do it. You won’t get one of those 200K computer science jobs but the business world is full of dudes bullshitting about their technical prowess and they’re desperate for direct reports that can help them validate that. Every workplace will be against your politics, but the reality is you’ll have a chance to hit an income level where you might be able to afford not to feed your family bugs.
Yeah, I got lucky though and didn’t need experience.
It’s hard up front but once you get some fundamentals down things make more sense.
Got everything in check, doing fine here.
Doing pretty well myself. I'm lucky enough to not really worry about politics being a thing with family. The people my generation are generally ok, the older generations love to create drama, make you feel bad etc. I won't lie even when I say I'm not going to care it bugs me how they act at times. I've got some anti-stress in by design though as I'll be staying with my cousin for a bit and her kid loves hanging out with me.
I'm doing pretty fine. I got all the stuff for Christmas sorted earlier this week so I can just relax and not worry about anything. Like the traffic. Oh my fucking God, the traffic.
Later today on Christmas Eve I'll go visit family and swap presents, and then I'll come back home, cook myself a nice dinner - I'm going to try this thing, and if I fuck it up I have some fish fingers in the freezer, hehehe - and just relax. I might go to midnight mass if I'm not too sleepy. A few days from now I'm visiting some friends (and helping one of them get familiar with WordPress, she has a pretty cool business idea and she wants to run her own site), and then on the 30th I'm going away about 100km from where I live to spend New Year's Eve with another group of friends.
Regarding this:
We're not really powerless. It might seem like we are, we definitely have trouble effecting any real change, but... Consider this: Noone can dictate how you feel, it's the one thing you're always in control of. Like, I work for a multinational IT company, it's as faggy as it gets, but all the diversity lessons and pronoun people can't make me truly accept that a bearded dude who demands I refer to him as xe/xer is actually a real woman. They might even intimidate me into pretending to go with it - they haven't so far, but it might happen at some point - but they will never make me really accept it. And this kind of mindset applies to anything. You're the only one who calls the shots in your own head. Your mind is the ultimate fortress. Nothing else really matters.