Mine… Is really not good. Like, even by my standards (which some of you have seen, lol), this is really, really bad.
I think there’s a few things at play, there: realizing I’m even worse “off”, in terms of “life progress”, than I thought. Realizing my financial and social situation is worse than I perhaps realized. Spending even more time around family that I obviously do not get along with (I’ve dreaded Christmas Day for the entire year, let’s be clear about that), or just… The supreme feelings of crushing loneliness and… “Emptiness” that this time of year tends to stir.
I’m sure I’m not alone in some of that. I think it’s a well-observed “phenom” that this time of year is awful, for mental health, for many people. So I hope you’re all doing ok in that regard.
On a more “political” note, seeing as we tend to prefer that here, lol, I’ve realized this week, perhaps, just how powerless we all are, to fight back against the worst of this dystopian corporate bullshit we all find ourselves amongst.
Like, I was even talking to, in essence, “leftists”, online, earlier this week, and even they think what is happening, with our corporate-tech-overlord-virtue-signalling dystopia is getting out of hand… And that’s in places with “left wing” governments, too. Even then, the problems have become so apparent, that leftists will begrudgingly acknowledge that something is wrong, even if they won’t admit the source…
No one will do anything. It really feels like we can’t do anything. Even working for, or being a client/member of, one of these corporations/banks/entities, you realize that you basically cannot do anything at all…
Maybe that contributed to the “badness” I have been feeling this week. Maybe not. But yeah, just thought I’d share, in case anyone else is “going through it”, this week.
You’re not alone, if so.
Keep it real.
I'm doing pretty fine. I got all the stuff for Christmas sorted earlier this week so I can just relax and not worry about anything. Like the traffic. Oh my fucking God, the traffic.
Later today on Christmas Eve I'll go visit family and swap presents, and then I'll come back home, cook myself a nice dinner - I'm going to try this thing, and if I fuck it up I have some fish fingers in the freezer, hehehe - and just relax. I might go to midnight mass if I'm not too sleepy. A few days from now I'm visiting some friends (and helping one of them get familiar with WordPress, she has a pretty cool business idea and she wants to run her own site), and then on the 30th I'm going away about 100km from where I live to spend New Year's Eve with another group of friends.
Regarding this:
We're not really powerless. It might seem like we are, we definitely have trouble effecting any real change, but... Consider this: Noone can dictate how you feel, it's the one thing you're always in control of. Like, I work for a multinational IT company, it's as faggy as it gets, but all the diversity lessons and pronoun people can't make me truly accept that a bearded dude who demands I refer to him as xe/xer is actually a real woman. They might even intimidate me into pretending to go with it - they haven't so far, but it might happen at some point - but they will never make me really accept it. And this kind of mindset applies to anything. You're the only one who calls the shots in your own head. Your mind is the ultimate fortress. Nothing else really matters.