We're living in quite the dark age right now, and movie & TV adaptations of comics/books/games/whatever you enjoy are no exception - in fact they're probably one of the more obvious symptoms of how badly the culture has degenerated. Every time I hop onto KiA2, even the original KiA, or PDW there's usually at least one thread a day pointing out another shitty, woke-and-soon-to-be-broke adaptation that makes me die a little more inside.
So I thought it might be a better idea to turn that on its head and ask the board, what's a property you would like to see adapted to the big or little screen competently, once (if) we leave this absolute black hole of creativity and good writing the culture's stuck in behind?
For me it's gotta be Resident Evil. The first game's plot boils down to 'glorified SWAT team investigates strange murders in the backwoods, gets trapped in spooky mansion filled with zombies & traps/puzzles, eventually stumbles on corporate conspiracy and a traitor in their dwindling ranks'. It's basically a biopunk/zombie spin on a haunted house plot and should theoretically be perfect for a two-hour movie or an 8-10 episode season of TV. Which makes it all the stranger that literally no adaptation has ever gotten such a simple formula right - the new movie with raceswapped Jill & Leon comes the closest, but still shoots itself in the foot by insisting on adapting two games at once & mangling almost everyone's characterization.
All I ask is that one day, before I drop dead, I get to see a reasonably faithful and well-handled adaptation of the game. Jill Valentine/Barry Burton forming one half of the main cast & plotline, Chris Redfield/Rebecca Chambers the other, in a contained setting with only a few other characters running around (mainly Albert Wesker and the few other living STARS members). No full-blown zombie apocalypse, no Mary Sue OCs played by the director's wife even if she is hot, no ludicrous racebending or tearing one character down to lift up another for woke points, no attempt to shove an entire other game's plot or two into the show/movie, no teenage drama, none of the extra shit that's ruined every single past attempt to make a movie or show out of RE. The world can be gradually expanded by adapting the next games in the series afterward, not before.
A competent re movie, not a Mary Sue that does matrix king fu or whatever that Netflix show was. Personally I think Grandia 2 would be an awesome series done competently. Or a unique Persona series based on 4.
This exactly. There may be a bunch of Paul Anderson movies and a Netflix show bearing the Resident Evil title, but not once has there been a single movie that's actually Resident Evil (not even just based on the first game).
This reminds me, something based on Shin Megami Tensei could be really interesting if I ever got reason to trust that the creators could approach religion & occult stuff in a remotely respectful and competent manner.
Grandia 2 is also one with heavy occultism and religious overtones. Unfortunately we will never see one of those made competently without it celebrating hedonism.
Unfortunately structures like pedowood have been running on nepotism and hatred of America for some long it has become antithetical to write stories Americans would enjoy.
YOU ARE BASED
Agree about He-Man
Just watched the first few episodes of the classic He-Man. I learned:
We used to make fun of the "More you know!" segments after He-Man/She-Ra and G.I. Joe but damn, they actually had some pretty good advice that could be easily understood by children. Could you imagine points 2 or 3 being advocated for on TV (or even less likely, schools) today?
And yes, they were repetitive. Skeletor has to come up with a crazy plan that's a threat to all Eternia. Cringer has to whine. Orko has to do some magic that backfires and annoys Man At Arms. And He-Man has to save the goddamn day with a little help from Teela and the Sorceress. But they're stories for kids, and it's important to tell the story right.
Also, Skeletor is hilarious. Surprisingly good entertainment to just shut your brain off for a couple of episodes when winding down before bed.
You are right. As an adult I really appreciate that more now. I watched more GI Joe than He-Man but really enjoyed those shows and the messages. Sucks that Kevin Smith crapped all over He-Man
Yeah, I was a fan of He-Man and (at one time) Kevin Smith. Haven't watched his Teela and Evil Lynn fan fic.
Mask or Thundercats would be cool but they would destroy them.
Oh I’m sure we’ll have thunder cats, they’ll just be hyper sexualized gay cats
True story about Thundercats: when I was 5 my mom entered me in a contest to win an action figure from the show and I won. My name was scrolled as the winner during the episode in the local area and I got to go to the tv studio to pick one. Unfortunately I could only get one of them. Sadly my life has been downhill ever since. Lol.
Some people are just so weird for nostalgia. OP probably played the game in middle school, it made a big impression on him, and he wants to re-live that experience.
I think there was a study some time ago that when you ask people their favorite music/media it is overwhelmingly whatever was most popular when they were in middle school.
Competently?
I wanna see Ar Tonelico.
The collective REEEE of the Twitter twits would resonate for years to come, out of this romantic traditional Hero's Journey.
And they better teach all the actors the full Hymnos language, and have it fluently spoken in the background.
Who wrote that? I’ll have to check it out.
It's a PS2-era JRPG series. It's actually pretty mid-tier, and I mean mid-tier for the era, graphics have aged hard, and it doesn't take many risks narrative-wise, but the author had some linguistics fetish and made a full proper conlang for his computer-hiveminded-spellcasters which is absolutely fascinating.
It focuses on statement of emotion-desire for that emotion-action-result sentence structure, which is very weird, but clever when you consider that computers would also be processing it, which allows them to unambiguously regard intent of the speaker.
"Was yea ra chs hymmnos mea" -> I am happy, and wish this happiness to continue into the near future, to sing in order to express my emotions for another.
It's a weird conlang, but that's what makes it a charming piece.
I think Wheel of Time would have the potential to be GOT level if you had a showrunner who wanted to adapt the book and not inject his garbage politics. I think Moon is a Harsh Mistress or Stranger in a Strange Land could work. Flow My Tears the Policeman Said by Phillip K Dick, a big budget live action Fist of the North Star. Dynasty Warriors/Three Kingdoms, Skyrim, Heir to the Empire or New Jedi Order, Job by Heinlein, expand the short story Mars is Heaven by Bradbury into a mini series
I always wanted to see Snow Crash because I think if it had been done in say 1999 it could have done a good job capturing the late 80s/early 90s cyberpunk aesthetic it was based around.
The Licanous Trilogy. The Riyria Revelations. Every Louis L'Amour book ever. The Children of the Red King.
Actually bought a lot of Louis L’Amour book at a used book sale. Haven’t read any yet. What is Licanous Trilogy about?
It's hard to talk about without spoiling anything but it's a high fantasy series involving magic, politics, religion and the debate of free will vs predestination
Cool! I’ll check it out
The Book of the New Sun.
Also
Deus Ex
A Deus Ex tv show starting from the beginning to a rewritten end (wtf IW) would rock.
When it comes to movies? Nothing. Videogame movies have always sucked shit, it’s a self-defeating concept. Why would I want to see some Hollywood hack’s interpretation of something when I could live that thing myself for several hours. Even if it’s done “well” it will be an inferior experience.
Discworld is amazing and I haven’t even read them all.
Turok: Son of Stone
The Honor Harrington series. With Yellowstone/1883 style flashbacks to the Travis Long books. If for nothing else but seeing the scene where the Queen is in the family crypt, letting her father, the assassinated King, know that his plans worked.
"As for me, I will build my house of STEEL."
Metroid would be awesome.
Contra could be an action fest
I think Cuphead has been a great adaption on Netflix.
Castlevania has been nice as an animation, but I'd love to see a live action PG-13 style movie.
I'd love to see a Batman with Bruce Wayne dealing with his kids.
Shadowman
Perfect Dark as a series would be really cool.
Half Life
I would love to see a Power Rangers videogame that was good.
Anansi Boys