Governor DeSantis Signs Declaration That ‘The Last Jedi’ Sucked
(babylonbee.com)
Comments (36)
sorted by:
Love that. I made that declaration when I walked out the theater. I was actually excited about seeing Luke and to show how stupid I am when Disney bought Star Wars I thought they would use the expanded universe as source material.
That was supposed to be the plan though. That's how they sold it to Lucas. They were also going to have a big reunion with all the main cast before passing the torch to a new generation. Then when the papers were signed and the ink was barely dry they threw it all away and put a woman in charge whose biggest achievement up to that point was getting Spielberg's coffee.
everything about kennnedy screams "kamala" whos more white to me.
You got da sauce for this? This sounds too "perfect" for what I imagined Disney did to Lucas' vision. I'd like to believe since that's how Disney typically behaves.
To show how naive I was, I was actually excited when Disney retconned the EU. I grew up loving the Star Wars novels, games and comic books, but by the time Disney bought Star Wars, the EU had already been completely ruined for me by the Yuuzhan Vong bullshit. I was silly enough to think Disney couldn't possibly do worse than that.
I was right with you. I thought it'd be something like Marvel's Ultimate line. I imagined original movies loosely based on the Thrawn trilogy.
I remember thinking after Rise of Skywalker if that is all they had they should’ve loosely adapted Thrawn trilogy. Or taken the NJO concept of an enemy from outside the galaxy.
You didn’t like any of NJO? I thought the outside threat aspect was cool. What did you like best about the old EU?
I grew up on the Young Jedi Knights books, and when I was older, I think I read the Thrawn trilogy all the way through maybe a dozen times as a teenager. That was the best of the EU, as far as I'm concerned.
NJO was awful. I've never been as invested in Star Wars since I put down the ninth NJO book and decided I just couldn't do it anymore. The stages of grief that most Star Wars fans went through with Disney Star Wars, from denial through anger through bargaining to the end result of not giving a shit: I went through all of that already with the NJO. I was already pretty much alienated and disengaged years before The Force Awakens came out.
The way they treated the deaths of major characters, including characters who'd been built up as the sort of "next generation" of Star Wars heroes that would fill Luke's shoes, only to be snuffed out like they never meant anything, pissed me off to no end.
On top of that, the Yuuzhan Vong had no place in the Star Wars universe. Up to that point, Star Wars was the perfect blend of sci-fi and fantasy: a futuristic, high-tech universe centered around a fundamental, mystical Force that holds the whole thing together. To introduce a species of James Cameron-inspired BDSM fetishists who weren't affected by the Force didn't just disrupt that integrity: it demolished it.
And for what? What audience were the Vong supposed to appeal to? Adults? No, too childish. Kids? Well, if that was the target, that's a little suspicious. Warhammer fans? 40k does the whole grimdark thing a hell of a lot better.
The only people the Vong were designed to appeal to were the resentful, impotent, angsty teenaged Millennial edgelords who were already burgeoning sexual fetishists, and who eventually grew up to be exactly the sort of nihilistic wokists who are now on a crusade to subvert every cultural phenomenon that used to provide people with a sense of inspiration and moral direction. I would argue that Star Wars isn't just another victim of that phenomenon: it was the first.
I get that. You make a great point. I hated the death of Chewie but then Mara has to die?! I didn’t get around to NJO til after I was disgusted with Disney Star Wars. So by comparison it wasn’t as bad. I also recently bought some X-wing series, tales from the Jedi comics, and Jedi academy to get through.
Some of the short story compilations are pretty good. Tales from Jabba's Palace and a couple of the others. A lot of those stories don't tie into the greater narrative: they're just sort of slice-of-life snapshots of the Star Wars universe.
Another thing to look into is Brian Daley's Han Solo trilogy, telling some one-off stories about Han and Chewie in the years right before he meets Luke. Those were written back in the early 80s, right after the first film came out, and they were great.
Yes! I love both Solo Trilogies. I have Tales from Jabbas palace and Tales from the Empire but haven’t read them yet. I stupidly thought the movie Solo would use one of those trilogies as source material.
There's also another decent Han Solo-focused trilogy. Happens 20 years after Ep 6.
https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Star_Wars:_The_Corellian_Trilogy
Also, the Rogue Squadron series, think it happens about 4-5 years after Ep 6 were great too.
"Clive Barker Presents: Star Wars"
I never read any of the Vong stuff despite reading around 15 EU novels. Vision of the Future was the last novel I read in terms of in universe chronology (and I think IRL time as well).
NJO felt like a bunch of Naruto filler episodes that were written just to sell books rather than extend the Star Wars storyline.
That's why I stopped up to that Yuuzhan Vong shit.
They did in places.
Palpatine clones
Han and Leia's son turning Dark Side [although Ben is nowhere near as well written character as Jacen was and even his name was taken from Luke's son rather than Leia's since Leia had no fucking reason to name her child after Obi-Wan]
The Force Dyad being a rip off of the twin bond between Jacen and Jaina
An Imperial Remnant
They even brought back Boba Fett in other material
Problem is they also used Spaceballs as source material like with Finn and Rose getting arrested over a parking violation in TLJ.
brahs, i dont think that rian donghead knew that was spaceballs. he saw it when he was a kid and thought he was doing a throwback to the original star wars. 👌👌
A guy dumb enough to think that lasers have parabolic arcs in space is definitely dumb enough to do that, so I shall adopt your theory as canon.
hes the guy who wrote an asian who was so focused about loyalty to the alliance that she focuses all her energy on fucking a random guy 2 days after meeting him
the guy who made luke a hobo
and made kylo emotionally weak, but super strong as a sith fighter
and undoubtedly wanted kannady to appear as a hwite supremraciss
i appreciate ya including my new canon, it was one i thought of recently; rian is a blockhead, a retard if you will- i couldnt think why this dipshit added those scenes (nor the arching, nor most of the film) unless he literally thought that spaceballs was (part of) starwars. that explains why he had no time for luke to mourn, he never knew lonestar. DUH
i cant describe how much i want to punch this cunt in the testicles, bros.
Rian Johnson promised to subvert expectations, and we expected a decent movie.
the only thing that rian subverted was my pledge to monklike nonvilence.
Dumber? I dont think so. they're all equally as retarded as one another. also rose tico falling in love with some guy who she just met. Talking about the sex habits of disney's knockoff wamenz Yoda. a casino with space horses, where did they get that? a trip to every casino in this country?
snoke being a weak puppet
leia is like space jebus now
everything in that movie is garbage. EVERYTHING. nothing is better or worse. its all an intentinal dumpster fire of tinypeen proportions.
Also, the sequel trilogy both sucks and blows.
watch out! theyre turning rose tico to BLOW!!!! (Trigger warning!!)
I wish they had. Spaceballs is awesome! Of course, Spaceballs knows what it is and wants to be, unlike TLJ.
True. A trilogy about Jacen and Jaina would’ve been good. But you are right they did take some ideas although they don’t seem to give credit and act like it didn’t exist
I'm not counting RO and Solo because they were not episodes of the trilogies.
They were better
It sucked less than the other two
explain
RoS was just plain stupid. Barely any of it was memorable. I can't remember enough of it to criticize it, except the stupid twist they it was palpatine all along. Was han a force ghost? How? He wasn't blue or whatever. He was just there. The whole movie was a mess.
TFA tried to be a remake of ANH, but terrible. Rey doesn't need training. She just believes really hard. Finn has no force power at all and doesn't immediately stab himself with the lightsaber. Frankly, the only reason I sorta remember the plot is because it was the same plot as ANH.
TLJ was memorable and had a theme. The theme was basically "nothing matters" and it didn't fit with the other movies. I agree with all the other plot hole criticisms. I'm not going to claim it was good. The others were worse.
I never watched ROS so i dont care, tbh, you should have learned with TLJ and SOLO. When they described his name. Total cringe and non-fan worthy.
TFA was bad but it wasnt offensive. how much lore breaking do you remember from the faggot awakens besides finn? every scene in tlj broke lore.
shitting your pants while meeting your celebrity crush would be as memorable as the last jedi. and frankly preferable to wasting 3 hours with it.
the theme wasnt nothing matters, there was 50 messages of 'dont fight what you hate' 'attack the past' and 'strong wamen can save everything'. the majority of heroism is from the strong wamen, and even poe doesnt destroy the first starcruiser. so thats not really the theme that you meantioned. and being memorable like getting a blowjob from your stepsister isnt really a winning point for a film, imho.
You cant claim it wasnt good, but that it was also better than the others, hahaha.
RO was the only "less bad" diswars entry. TLJ is definitively the worst AAA film of all time. And im including all stepsister porn films in that category (for the narrative quality).