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Comments (25)
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Galean 22 points ago +22 / -0

This stuff is funny, no one had any hope for it so they may very well go overboard with drag queen dwarves and ugly elven women that look like dudes protesting the mistreatment of Orcs. If they make an OLM riot I'll actually watch it.

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BulbasaurusThe7th 19 points ago +19 / -0

My mother, to this day, thinks Elrond is an asshole because he was "ugly" in the movie. She thinks he looked shifty as fuck.

So yeah, I wonder what she will think of some unholy abomination they found at the bottom of the barrel in Hollywood.

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CarmenOfSandiego 4 points ago +4 / -0

Elrond is an asshole because he was "ugly"

I mean sure he was dirty when confronting Isildur in Mount Doom but then again that's just after a Final Battle of an Age and they were both literally INSIDE A VOLCANO!.

Elrond in Fellowship times is clearly just fucking done with everything else since he's lived that long and seen repeatedly cases of others fucking up over and over again when he tried to;

  1. Stop the apocalypse

  2. See point 1 because why the fuck is anything else ever going to be as important as STOPPING THE APOCALYPSE?!

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BIgDaddyDangler2 2 points ago +2 / -0

Funny enough, it was supposed to be Bowie playing Elrond. Allegedly confirmed.

Then again, Elrond is a half-elf, half human. A lot of people forget that. Plus Peter Jackson's PaRtNeR Fran Walsh had no damn business writing that abomination of an adaptation. The 1981 BBC Radio adaptation is more accurate. Hell, they straight up ripped it off at some points. The guy who did that adaptation is still alive, actually.

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borga 17 points ago +17 / -0

Just change the name to "Lord of the Rangs" and run with it.

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CuomoisaMassMurderer 17 points ago +17 / -0

Kangz o da Rangz

with grape drank

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borga 10 points ago +10 / -0

I can smell the fried chicken from here

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Lord_Nekro [S] 1 point ago +1 / -0

Negro Biggums will grow Watermelon, serve Old English Malt Liquor and sing shitty hip hop songs in Hobbiton now

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CarmenOfSandiego 4 points ago +4 / -0

LOTR part 3: Return of the Kangz.

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GeneralBoobs 12 points ago +12 / -0

So...Bilbo was black? Explains why he stole the one gold bling.

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tmasten 9 points ago +9 / -0

He steals a gold toof in this new series.

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FlauntandStraunt 11 points ago +11 / -0

Wonder how much they are fucking up Wheel of Time.

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CarmenOfSandiego 9 points ago +9 / -0

"Yes."

There is no way WOT can be made faithfully simple due to the volume of content in the books that takes place over 3 years of time. Nobody will be able to make 14 books worth of content in 3 years to stave off the very visible aging that will happen regardless of starting with adults to avoid child actors suddenly springing up half way through a show ala Cirroc Lofton in DS9 or Bran in GoT.

While there is content that can be cut, we all know the wokesters will want to add in their own irrelevant shit which just bloats the content even more so it's a shitshow before even day 1 of shooting.

Plus I feel like any representation of how Weaves are meant to look will be half-assed CGI that makes Cal-Arts look appealing.

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asdfman2000 3 points ago +3 / -0

There've been some teasers released. You're 100% on them changing and adding stuff, then claiming there's "no time to fit everything in".

Why not cut out the racism and faggotry subplots and make the time, then, assholes? (I'm making an educated prediction that there will be these subplots).

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ukulele 5 points ago +5 / -0

There are tons of quotes from the books that the main cast is white + see Jordan's casting:

Rand: a young Ben Affleck

Mat: James Garner at age 21

Perrin: a young Val Kilmer

Egwene: Audrey Hepburn at age 18

Nynaeve: a young Jacqueline Bisset

Aviendha: a young Sophia Loren

Elayne: Nicole Kidman at age 18

Min: Isabella Rossellini

Moiraine: Hedy Lamarr

Lan: Liam Neeson in one of his craggier roles

Birgitte: Lucy Lawless of Xena

Faile: Cher at age 19

Thom: Patrick Stewart with hair

Verin: a young Margaret Rutherford

Siuan (after stilling): Renee Zellweger (before appearance change)

Gareth Bryne: a combination Charlton Heston and John Wayne

Morgase: Michelle Pfeiffer

Berelain: Isabelle Adjani

Padan Fain: Alan Rickman

Lanfear: a younger Catherine Deneuve

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FlauntandStraunt 6 points ago +6 / -0

Yea no way they'd allow that white a cast. It'll be a shit show.

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ukulele 2 points ago +2 / -0

And no one allowed to post this list or the quotes on the big WOT sites: post deleted, thread locked, instant ban.

No one allowed to quote from the author of the series...

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FlauntandStraunt 2 points ago +2 / -0

Gatekeepers need to be a thing again. Protect your fandoms folks.

They are coming for Dune.

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Devidose 6 points ago +6 / -0

Faile: Cher at age 19

Fucking lol with how the main comments regarding Faile's appearance are her nose.

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Devidose 3 points ago +3 / -0

So glad those books are actually finished so any adaptations can just be ignored. Even the Billy Zane retainment flick was shit although that's not surprising since it was literally the prologue to the first book with Billy Zane as Ishamael and whoever as Lews Therin Telamon as The Dragon wandered around the bodies of his kin. I don't expect the "actual" show to be any better. Nor will I afford it the bandwidth on the high sees.

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deleted 9 points ago +9 / -0
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GimmeFuelGimmeFire 7 points ago +7 / -0

Over the last 18 months my sister has received ONE product shipped via prime EVRY SINGLE FUCKING DAY creating a metric shit ton of fucking plastic and cardboard trash!!! Totally believes in the climate change hoax too though. It's fucking absurd.

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FlauntandStraunt 9 points ago +9 / -0

And that's the reason they sacked the writers along with the Tolkien Scholar. So they could turn it into this crap.

Bet they won't even try to get perspective right.

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TomSeeSaw 3 points ago +3 / -0

Perspective right is out. Perspective left is in.

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Sonic_Shredder 4 points ago +4 / -0

"NEW - Amazon's upcoming "Lord Of The Rings" TV show will be utter garbage, literally to the surprise of no one."