I stopped going to Christmas gatherings because my family wouldn't stop spending what I considered a lot of money on things I didn't ask for, didn't want, and have absolutely no use for. I am not going to let them label me ungrateful when I've made it clear there is nothing I want.
I'm fucking sick of the commercialization of Christmas. I lost my faith a long time ago, and even I'm starting to miss the values it was supposed to represent.
I've managed to get into a nice place where my family (and just about anyone else who knows me) knows if they want to get me something, I accept food, and pretty much only food. It's 1000x better than random junk, and only lasts a week at most. It also goes in reverse; I tend to give gifts of homemade treats personalized to the receiver, so someone who hates sweets doesn't get sweet things.
I've received a lot of expensive junk over the years, but my favourite and most memorable gift is a sandwich.
As a child I managed to convince all my family that my desires were too difficult to understand, so they could just give me cash and I'd sort it out. Its been decades now and they still only give me cash and while its very emotionally void its incredibly effective.
And as such, the pomp and ceremony of it all is skipped, because none of them are gonna make a show about a card with money, and we get back to pure family shit sooner.
When I get cash, I try to make sure to toss a message with a picture of something nice I purchased for myself later on in the year. Like, I bought a new chair, and tossed messages to three family members with a picture, saying "thanks for the birthday gift of a portion of this chair you gave me a bit back, it's really comfy, I appreciate it.", that way they get the pomp and circumstance they might actually want in gift-giving activities, but also, I just get proper cash.
I have the same problem with birthdays. Every year since I graduated college my parents will ask me what I want. I will tell them cash or a gift card. I don't need any more junk. If it is an actual necessity I will go get it myself. They always get mad when I say that.
I keep a "cover" Amazon wishlist full of cheap electronic components around. Family won't buy fifty different things off the list, partially because that many gifts would be weird, partially because they have zero idea as to what they all are. My excuse is I do use the parts, and it's fun explaining what they all do when I open them.
I'm notorious for leaving gifts behind when I leave a Christmas gathering. I'd much rather they buy me nothing, I hate the hassle of finding a use for something, storing more junk in my house, or the trouble of returning it.
I also find 99% of the time when someone gets me something I do want it's the lowest, cheapest, crappiest model possible that falls apart after 5min of use.
Personal issues of mine that no one asked for-
I stopped going to Christmas gatherings because my family wouldn't stop spending what I considered a lot of money on things I didn't ask for, didn't want, and have absolutely no use for. I am not going to let them label me ungrateful when I've made it clear there is nothing I want.
I'm fucking sick of the commercialization of Christmas. I lost my faith a long time ago, and even I'm starting to miss the values it was supposed to represent.
I've managed to get into a nice place where my family (and just about anyone else who knows me) knows if they want to get me something, I accept food, and pretty much only food. It's 1000x better than random junk, and only lasts a week at most. It also goes in reverse; I tend to give gifts of homemade treats personalized to the receiver, so someone who hates sweets doesn't get sweet things.
I've received a lot of expensive junk over the years, but my favourite and most memorable gift is a sandwich.
As a child I managed to convince all my family that my desires were too difficult to understand, so they could just give me cash and I'd sort it out. Its been decades now and they still only give me cash and while its very emotionally void its incredibly effective.
And as such, the pomp and ceremony of it all is skipped, because none of them are gonna make a show about a card with money, and we get back to pure family shit sooner.
When I get cash, I try to make sure to toss a message with a picture of something nice I purchased for myself later on in the year. Like, I bought a new chair, and tossed messages to three family members with a picture, saying "thanks for the birthday gift of a portion of this chair you gave me a bit back, it's really comfy, I appreciate it.", that way they get the pomp and circumstance they might actually want in gift-giving activities, but also, I just get proper cash.
I have the same problem with birthdays. Every year since I graduated college my parents will ask me what I want. I will tell them cash or a gift card. I don't need any more junk. If it is an actual necessity I will go get it myself. They always get mad when I say that.
Nnnnoooo you can't just be happy with all the stuff you have nnnnnnnnoooooooo
I keep a "cover" Amazon wishlist full of cheap electronic components around. Family won't buy fifty different things off the list, partially because that many gifts would be weird, partially because they have zero idea as to what they all are. My excuse is I do use the parts, and it's fun explaining what they all do when I open them.
I'm notorious for leaving gifts behind when I leave a Christmas gathering. I'd much rather they buy me nothing, I hate the hassle of finding a use for something, storing more junk in my house, or the trouble of returning it.
I also find 99% of the time when someone gets me something I do want it's the lowest, cheapest, crappiest model possible that falls apart after 5min of use.