I don't know what you do except that it requires a master's in statistics, does it provide a more worthwhile service to society than caring for the sick? You are much less replaceable than a nurse so sure, from a supply and demand perspective your work is worth more. It's not lesser than hers. But in present terms, hers is more work if you are, by your own words, enjoying a very easy job and she is working hard and stressed from it.
We're likely on the same page, mostly. More goes into assessing value than just what you see on the surface. Feminist messaging is all about ignoring reality in order to coddle women and push all responsibility onto men.
I'm just saying a domestic partnership should be about supporting each other and the larger family, not deciding that you get to put in less work (that you have more time and energy to do) because you're more intelligent and educated than your overworked partner.
Which is why it's always preferably to have a wife who doesn't work, so she can contribute in other ways and not think you need to work harder to be equitable.
Let's frame it another way. If you earn $200k/yr working part-time and she earns $50k/yr working full-time; who should be doing the cooking and cleaning? She'll say you because she works harder but in reality it should be her because you're contributing 4x as much to the relationship. Equitable means she needs to pull up her contribution level in such a scenario. That's the point I'm getting at.
you're contributing 4x as much to the relationship
That's only true if your only metric is financial. Relationships are far more complicated than that. For example, I'd argue that a stay at home mom is contributing a fair contribution of effort or labor raising the couple's children even though she's not bringing in an income.
Exactly and most men will make that argument. But when your wife is bagging groceries at the grocery store, coming home, saying she works harder than you and you should do all the work, that's probably going to be a problem yet if she didn't work and did all the housework, you'd prefer that over her bagging groceries. I get that it's more complicated. I'm just saying the easiest way to solve any complications is to get her to not work and do precisely what you said you'd find value in.
When a woman work full time, you're going to run into huge problems with what is fair and equal work in a relationship.
When a woman work full time, you're going to run into huge problems with what is fair and equal work in a relationship.
You can see this in the more extreme examples of when the woman is the primary breadwinner. Studies have repeatedly shown that this very quickly causes the women to lose respect for her husband.
The issue is that every woman wants to be a nurse or a teacher, to the point that male teachers are a vanishing minority and male nurses are distinctly rare.
Nursing and teaching have become an overwhelmingly female dominated profession. As a result, the supply of nurses is high, and the market rate for their labor is lower.
Women don't want to do statistics. They hate math. Even women who don't hate math would still much rather follow a career in their interest.
Men are willing to make sacrifices to peruse a career that pays the most money. Women will "follow their heart", even if the pay is total shit.
You can put a value on jobs and roles that are "more worthwhile service to society". It is a dollar value.
But that counts for jack and shit when it comes to brining home the bacon.
Woman: "Oh darling, I want to follow my heart and dreams and care for the sick."
Man: "So I am going to have to earn more money while you gain satisfaction from your job? Because the mortgage doesn't fucking are how satisfied I am at work."
Women will not be exploration geologists, pipeline welders, long haul truck drivers, mechanics, armed guards or diesel fitters. It doesn't matter a tiny fuck how beneficial to society each of those roles are. If they are not starving to death, and they have the choice, they will pick a more "feminine" profession.
So here is the question: Are you going to subsidize her doing what she wants while you bust your hump? To follow up, are you going to thank her for her sacrifice, and then do even more chores?
Woman: "Oh darling, I want to follow my heart and dreams and care for the sick." Man: "So I am going to have to earn more money while you gain satisfaction from your job? Because the mortgage doesn't fucking are how satisfied I am at work."
So here is the question: Are you going to subsidize her doing what she wants while you bust your hump? To follow up, are you going to thank her for her sacrifice, and then do even more chores?
Okay those are good points. A domestic partnership should recognize the impact that one person's choices have on the other. Taking a fulfilling job over a well paying job sounds great in theory but if that means a partner has to pick up the slack then they need to discuss it and come to an agreement. Of course, feminism tells women that they should do whatever they want and any second not spent fulfilling every whim they have is tragic oppression, so anyone advocating for rationality is facing an uphill battle.
But in OP's scenario, he wasn't busting his hump and she was. She was the one who was stressed and overworked. My whole point was that 'I'm smart and you're not, so you can suffer while I put my feet up' doesn't make for a healthy partnership. But if they want to have a conversation about her chosen career demanding too much and paying too little, and how that affects the rest of the family, that's fair.
OP should dump her goldbricking ass and keep his extra take home pay. In his scenario his wife doesn't earn a comparative wage, nor does he get any benefits from her partnership. She doesn't cook or clean. I bet a shiny dollar the kids would be in full time care.
Why on earth would he subsidize her feel-good feelings and need for social status? WTF is she bringing to the relationship?
If all she can offer is her pussy ... well, what does that say about her? Get a rental and stop over-paying.
I don't know what you do except that it requires a master's in statistics, does it provide a more worthwhile service to society than caring for the sick? You are much less replaceable than a nurse so sure, from a supply and demand perspective your work is worth more. It's not lesser than hers. But in present terms, hers is more work if you are, by your own words, enjoying a very easy job and she is working hard and stressed from it.
We're likely on the same page, mostly. More goes into assessing value than just what you see on the surface. Feminist messaging is all about ignoring reality in order to coddle women and push all responsibility onto men.
I'm just saying a domestic partnership should be about supporting each other and the larger family, not deciding that you get to put in less work (that you have more time and energy to do) because you're more intelligent and educated than your overworked partner.
Which is why it's always preferably to have a wife who doesn't work, so she can contribute in other ways and not think you need to work harder to be equitable.
Let's frame it another way. If you earn $200k/yr working part-time and she earns $50k/yr working full-time; who should be doing the cooking and cleaning? She'll say you because she works harder but in reality it should be her because you're contributing 4x as much to the relationship. Equitable means she needs to pull up her contribution level in such a scenario. That's the point I'm getting at.
That's only true if your only metric is financial. Relationships are far more complicated than that. For example, I'd argue that a stay at home mom is contributing a fair contribution of effort or labor raising the couple's children even though she's not bringing in an income.
Exactly and most men will make that argument. But when your wife is bagging groceries at the grocery store, coming home, saying she works harder than you and you should do all the work, that's probably going to be a problem yet if she didn't work and did all the housework, you'd prefer that over her bagging groceries. I get that it's more complicated. I'm just saying the easiest way to solve any complications is to get her to not work and do precisely what you said you'd find value in.
When a woman work full time, you're going to run into huge problems with what is fair and equal work in a relationship.
I agree.
You can see this in the more extreme examples of when the woman is the primary breadwinner. Studies have repeatedly shown that this very quickly causes the women to lose respect for her husband.
The issue is that every woman wants to be a nurse or a teacher, to the point that male teachers are a vanishing minority and male nurses are distinctly rare.
Nursing and teaching have become an overwhelmingly female dominated profession. As a result, the supply of nurses is high, and the market rate for their labor is lower.
Women don't want to do statistics. They hate math. Even women who don't hate math would still much rather follow a career in their interest.
Men are willing to make sacrifices to peruse a career that pays the most money. Women will "follow their heart", even if the pay is total shit.
You can put a value on jobs and roles that are "more worthwhile service to society". It is a dollar value.
But that counts for jack and shit when it comes to brining home the bacon.
Woman: "Oh darling, I want to follow my heart and dreams and care for the sick." Man: "So I am going to have to earn more money while you gain satisfaction from your job? Because the mortgage doesn't fucking are how satisfied I am at work."
Women will not be exploration geologists, pipeline welders, long haul truck drivers, mechanics, armed guards or diesel fitters. It doesn't matter a tiny fuck how beneficial to society each of those roles are. If they are not starving to death, and they have the choice, they will pick a more "feminine" profession.
So here is the question: Are you going to subsidize her doing what she wants while you bust your hump? To follow up, are you going to thank her for her sacrifice, and then do even more chores?
Why?
Okay those are good points. A domestic partnership should recognize the impact that one person's choices have on the other. Taking a fulfilling job over a well paying job sounds great in theory but if that means a partner has to pick up the slack then they need to discuss it and come to an agreement. Of course, feminism tells women that they should do whatever they want and any second not spent fulfilling every whim they have is tragic oppression, so anyone advocating for rationality is facing an uphill battle.
But in OP's scenario, he wasn't busting his hump and she was. She was the one who was stressed and overworked. My whole point was that 'I'm smart and you're not, so you can suffer while I put my feet up' doesn't make for a healthy partnership. But if they want to have a conversation about her chosen career demanding too much and paying too little, and how that affects the rest of the family, that's fair.
OP should dump her goldbricking ass and keep his extra take home pay. In his scenario his wife doesn't earn a comparative wage, nor does he get any benefits from her partnership. She doesn't cook or clean. I bet a shiny dollar the kids would be in full time care.
Why on earth would he subsidize her feel-good feelings and need for social status? WTF is she bringing to the relationship?
If all she can offer is her pussy ... well, what does that say about her? Get a rental and stop over-paying.