Which is why it's always preferably to have a wife who doesn't work, so she can contribute in other ways and not think you need to work harder to be equitable.
Let's frame it another way. If you earn $200k/yr working part-time and she earns $50k/yr working full-time; who should be doing the cooking and cleaning? She'll say you because she works harder but in reality it should be her because you're contributing 4x as much to the relationship. Equitable means she needs to pull up her contribution level in such a scenario. That's the point I'm getting at.
you're contributing 4x as much to the relationship
That's only true if your only metric is financial. Relationships are far more complicated than that. For example, I'd argue that a stay at home mom is contributing a fair contribution of effort or labor raising the couple's children even though she's not bringing in an income.
Exactly and most men will make that argument. But when your wife is bagging groceries at the grocery store, coming home, saying she works harder than you and you should do all the work, that's probably going to be a problem yet if she didn't work and did all the housework, you'd prefer that over her bagging groceries. I get that it's more complicated. I'm just saying the easiest way to solve any complications is to get her to not work and do precisely what you said you'd find value in.
When a woman work full time, you're going to run into huge problems with what is fair and equal work in a relationship.
When a woman work full time, you're going to run into huge problems with what is fair and equal work in a relationship.
You can see this in the more extreme examples of when the woman is the primary breadwinner. Studies have repeatedly shown that this very quickly causes the women to lose respect for her husband.
Which is why it's always preferably to have a wife who doesn't work, so she can contribute in other ways and not think you need to work harder to be equitable.
Let's frame it another way. If you earn $200k/yr working part-time and she earns $50k/yr working full-time; who should be doing the cooking and cleaning? She'll say you because she works harder but in reality it should be her because you're contributing 4x as much to the relationship. Equitable means she needs to pull up her contribution level in such a scenario. That's the point I'm getting at.
That's only true if your only metric is financial. Relationships are far more complicated than that. For example, I'd argue that a stay at home mom is contributing a fair contribution of effort or labor raising the couple's children even though she's not bringing in an income.
Exactly and most men will make that argument. But when your wife is bagging groceries at the grocery store, coming home, saying she works harder than you and you should do all the work, that's probably going to be a problem yet if she didn't work and did all the housework, you'd prefer that over her bagging groceries. I get that it's more complicated. I'm just saying the easiest way to solve any complications is to get her to not work and do precisely what you said you'd find value in.
When a woman work full time, you're going to run into huge problems with what is fair and equal work in a relationship.
I agree.
You can see this in the more extreme examples of when the woman is the primary breadwinner. Studies have repeatedly shown that this very quickly causes the women to lose respect for her husband.