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21
In 'This Does Make Me Smile' News: 4 missing bicyclists were planning a big robbery with a 5th who backed out. Last known location, a junkyard with a violent murder scene. Remains found butchered and dumped in a nearby river. (archive.ph)
posted 3 years ago by GeneralBoobs 3 years ago by GeneralBoobs +21 / -0
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▲ 22 ▼
– GeneralBoobs [S] 22 points 3 years ago +22 / -0

The guy who backed out and is feared 'suicidal' is in the wind after being interviewed. How much you want to bet it's a cartel they planned on robbing? Granted, there's a chance it's an old fashioned fuck around and find out with an old man who runs a junkyard, or better yet, a biker gang, but this sounds like something from Mexico.

Also, fuck bicyclists. No, seriously, fuck them severely. I enjoy every video of one being run down for being an arrogant dick who thinks he owns the road, especially when it's a herd of them.

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▲ 9 ▼
– nuggetpatrol 9 points 3 years ago +9 / -0

There's a bike lane in most places, and sidewalks for the rest of the time. It's not a motorcycle that would be welcomed, or at least tolerated on the road, it's a bicycle.

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▲ 6 ▼
– JiggsawCalrissian 6 points 3 years ago +6 / -0

Ngl if I were him I'd be shitting my pants like crazy. And that's before being a potential cartel loose end

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▲ 6 ▼
– SarcasticRidley 6 points 3 years ago +6 / -0

A bicycle is a fucking toy. Its top speed is far lower than the speed limit of at least half the roads they drive on, and unlike everything else on the road it slows to a fucking crawl uphill to the point that walking would probably be faster. Not to mention they are probably less safe than a motorcycle since they have less mass to take the energy from a crash.

Why people think they should have the same rights as a car is beyond me, especially since they violate the laws all the time when they run stop signs and traffic lights.

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▲ 2 ▼
– GeneralBoobs [S] 2 points 3 years ago +2 / -0

We are the Cyclists!

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▲ 1 ▼
– SarcasticRidley 1 point 3 years ago +1 / -0

Fuck I forgot to post that.

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▲ 4 ▼
– APDSmith 4 points 3 years ago +4 / -0

OK, as someone who used to ride a bike - and sometimes be quite aggressive (not screaming at people or smacking cars, more being quite assertive in regard to road positioning) about it - sometimes you have to be. The number of times I've been forced to stop because somebody somehow believes they can fit their van past me on a road that simply is not wide enough to do so, yeah, if I can hear somebody behind me preparing to be a dick about things, I do ride defensively.

Just being an asshole for no reason is itself a dick move, but sometimes on a bike you do need to claim your place on the road because some car and van drivers simply will not give it to you.

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▲ 9 ▼
– MegoThor 9 points 3 years ago +9 / -0

The Law of Raw Tonnage states you will always lose that battle.

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▲ 2 ▼
– APDSmith 2 points 3 years ago +2 / -0

I'm not trying to have a battle. Where I have to do it, I'm keeping the bike middle-of-the-lane because the lane is far too narrow to permit overtaking anyway.

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▲ 5 ▼
– SarcasticRidley 5 points 3 years ago +5 / -0

I'm not trying to have a battle

Too bad, you're in one.

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▲ 16 ▼
– deleted 16 points 3 years ago +16 / -0
▲ 17 ▼
– DontDoxMeBreaux 17 points 3 years ago +17 / -0

I'm surprised. I thought "bicyclist" was being used as another euphemism.

But no, they're actually bicyclists.

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▲ 9 ▼
– GeneralBoobs [S] 9 points 3 years ago +9 / -0

I know, right. I was originally going to laugh that white motorcycle gangs were a minor problem again.

Nope. Faggots, druggy faggots from the looks of them.

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