It’s not funny, it’s just… Horrible. Elitist, classist, sexist, just… Rank. Heckling (by some autistic bloke who actually works here), and just… So bad.
I got convinced to go to this thing. It’s like, as local as you could get, for me, but yeah…
Dunno if comedy is like this where you live, but man, in this “hipster bar”, dear god there is no way this was worth the cover charge.
Eugh…
Lot of experience with stand up comedy.
It's not an exaggeration to say things are really bad right now. Big names have talked about cancel culture, but the guys below trying to make it have to be careful, which has really stymied development of new talent.
The tyrannical and unconstitutional restrictions further dampened the talent pool for a solid two years.
Leftists aren't funny. It sounds like you're at a lefty hipster bar -- leftist comedy is not comedy so much as "look at how much better and more evolved we are he he he."
Whenever I have a thought to go to a comedy club in my area, I check who is headlining and vet them. It sounds like you might have gone on an open mic night, and those will always be hit or miss (with a lot of miss).
Drunk, but I’ll try…
I went because I met a girl and she invited me/wanted me to come (supposedly)…
It was… Bad.
Acts were largely drawn from local radio/“media personalities” (literally advertising and the like)…
Lots of scat(ological) jokes. Lots of “fuck children. Children ruin your life, amirite?” type jokes.
Mean-spirited. Genuinely unpleasant. And the constant heckling by some autistic bloke who took my money, at the door, just… Made me cringe.
Horrible. And she ignored me the whole time (I didn’t go for the comedy, lol), and fucking… Sat somewhere else, with her friends, on a “reserved” table, and didn’t even pull m up w chair, or buy a drink…
It was so bad, dude. So much “post code” (or Zip code, if you’re American) snobbery and snark. So much so that it made me, me uncomfortable (quite an achievement, if you read my posts)…
Just… Mean-spirited. And snobby. And really, really elitist…
$10 cover charge. I left early. Because why the fuck wouldn’t I??!!
Sounds like she was there for a friend doing his/her stand up bit and tried to help get butts in seats.
Maybe. I dunno. These acts were shitty, but they weren’t “small names”, at least locally…
I doubt she has that much… Of a connection to these peeps.
But I don’t know.
Not like she’s gonna tell me, is it?
I think she just figured “Fuck it, why not? If nothing else, I’ve got another orbiter”, and I… Played along for a bit. But I’ve been there and done that.
As I said, we both knew why I was there. It just took me a while to realise that I wasn’t going to get anywhere, before I gave up.
I don’t know her exact motivations, but she’s an attractive, clearly not-stupid young woman. She doesn’t really need to think about it that much, now does she?
She just used you. You didn't give enough info to paint a clear motive as to why she did it. When she invited you to something, you took it as interest, but it wasn't. She might have been thinking she you would work to impress her friends and she'd gain status with them from it. I've had girls try to pull that with me a bunch.
If a girl invites you out to something and it's not clearly a date, just ask straight out if it's a date. Don't beat around the bush or waste time. You need to know if she's asking you out because she is genuinely interested in you, or not.
Never agree to meet a girl's friends unless you've already fucked her and genuinely like her. Some women have this thing where they try to rope guys in as a flex to their friends and then discard the guy unless the friends absolutely adore him. One of the things you learn with dating is that a lot of people on both sides operate purely on ego. A more evil version of this is when the girl invites a guy and tries to paypig him to have him buy her and her friends free shit.
If she's not showing genuine interest, stop replying to her. It's a dead end and you'll only waste your time and feel shitty. Men don't get to fuck the girls they want, they only get to fuck the girls who want them. All chasing a girl does is boosts her ego and causes her to look down on you.
I didn’t know she was meeting her friends, to be fair.
She didn’t tell me that.
I just rocked up, and there they were. It went downhill from there.
But otherwise yeah, solid advice.
I genuinely don’t think she meant me “I’ll will”.
I just think we wanted different things out of tonight.
I wanted her. I’m not sure quite sure, as you point out, what she wanted from me. I just tagged along because I thought she was fun to be around (we spent the morning together. Not… like, in bed. But we were hanging out this morning).
I did my best given the situation, honestly…
I’m not hurt. Just… Disappointed. And fucking mortified that I wasted my money on utter, utter shit…
Anyway, I… Did my best. Plenty more fish in the sea, as it were. “No skin off my teeth”, and all that.
Younger me would have been very fucking peeved, or at least sad (because I have had this happen before, though obviously not by her specifically. Always slightly younger women, too).
I’m not that person anymore. shrug
Anyway, I appreciate this, dude.
I’m still learning (about a decade late, but still), so any and all of this is useful.
She’s ignoring me now (I didn’t say anything bad. I left the door open), so I think I’ll just leave it.
Balls not in my court anymore.
I move on. If I see her again, I see her again.
She and I… Aren’t from the same socio-economic “background”, anyway, and while I don’t care (I’m the “posh” one, here, ironically) - it’s possible that she did…
Nothing I can really do about that.
Anyway, If this is it, well, this morning was fun, at least.
In my (actually not that limited) experience, women are way, way more pleasant to be around when they’re not “with their friends”/in their comfort zone…
But fuck, I don’t have to tell you that, do I?
Que sera sera. And whatever will not be? That’s ok too.
You need to get Chad-pilled.
You shouldn't have ever contacted her again after that display. You probably feel shitty and are reaching out in the hopes she will make you feel better somehow, but she already proved to you she's a piece of shit. One thing you have to realize about dating is that dating is like a war, and that girl is the enemy. You are trying to conquer her just as she is trying to conquer you. Her win condition is an ego boost, yours is to coom.
She's young and ripe to get fucked by any dude. You wanted to take a crack at her and she knew it. She was the one in the power position. If you want to date younger girls like that, you need to be as anti-thirst as possible. Girls like that lose all respect when they thirst bait dudes and it works.
Anyway the best thing you can do to be successful with women is:
Don't give a fuck, truly. There's a voice in your head making you exhibit thirst. Silence it. The less you care, the easier the pussy gets.
Make yourself passively high value. Usually this means the gym, which is obvious, but it also means being good at socializing. A lot of PUA stuff on this topic is true because it's obviously correct. The whole game comes down to a woman assessing if you are higher or lower value than her. If she assesses you higher, she will be easy. So your whole game plan should be to maximize your own value, real and perceived. Women use things like confidence, thirst, and other things as a marker for your value as a man. Horny men are seen as losers because any true Chad would be sexually satisfied already. Confident men are winners, and the most confident move of all is to subtly look down on her without being a jerk about it.
There are endless traps that guys fall into because they don't realize that all dating of women under 30 is all a mindfuck game, and the younger and hotter the women get, the more of a game it becomes. That game is being played whether you agree to play it or not, you'll just end up on the losing side.
So basically dont give a fuck and treat them like crap.
it's more like "treat the girl like you're better than her, and like you're doing her a favor by spending time with her, but don't be overt enough about it for her to get offended."
this is generally for dealing with young/hot/insecure girls who let their emotions think for them.
Honestly, I did kind of do that, at least at the time…
Like I said, I expected a date. Not to turn up and find her there with her “mates”…
This is, I admit, a failure of communication.
Now, upon reaching that point, I decided to be “the bigger man” and just stick it out for as long as I could manage.
I only left because the comedy was terrible, the crowd were getting pretty tense, and if I hadn’t - I would have been stuck with a $30+ cab ride home (last bus), for no good/compelling reason…
I actually think I did ok, all things considered.
Like I said, she and I clearly wanted different things out of the situation. That’s ok. We just needed to… Clarify that upfront, I guess.
Her mates (both my age. ~5 years older than her) were total dicks to me, though. Like, to the point of being aggressively rude. That didn’t “upset” me, so much as it just… Pissed me off. No one deserves to be treated like that. Regardless of what, exactly, girl with a cartoon character name was thinking…
Oh well. At least it got me out of the house. That, honestly, is enough for me.
Everything he said was 100% true whether he’s personally succeeding or not.
Does truth hurt? Simp.
I’m not quite sure what I would get out of telling people here that I basically got rejected, if I was lying…
I mean dude, dude… No one is going to “make up” a story this elaborate, to “farm karma”. Not even a schizo. Only to then make it clear that she decided she was not interested.
I got asked once. Once. This is not something that occurs to me very often. I’m not exactly “bragging”…
Fucking hell…
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLL seethe dicklet. Nobody asked your opinion. 100% of the people who get triggered hard like you just did, are losers who can't get laid.
It’s kind of sad, tbh…
Peak Reddit-like moment.
For me to lie about this shit..?
Christ, who has the energy and desperation to put in that much effort!
It’s not like I even claimed to have succeeded, ahaha…
This place, sometimes, hey?
I wouldn't want to have anything to do with a female who wasn't interested in me. Gross. A rented fleshlight is more appealing.
The state I am in has a very… “Delineated” class divide. This event was in a rich suburb. Some of the comedians were from the “poor” bits.
They spent… More than half the time shitting on their home “area”, and the areas poorer than where they were from…
It was just, so… Cringe. That is the best word for it. “Cringe”…
I mean...he's not wrong. Although it's more likely to be the mother.
That girl, and I honestly mean this, no conspiracy, is probably some kind of shill/employee of the place you went to. Why would she ask you to go and not get free drinks out of you at least?
She had “friends” with her.
Shill? Maybe. Employee? Nah. We met at her work. I know where she works, lol…
And it’s way, way better than that shithole. She doesn’t even work in hospitality, which is… Even better.
But nah, she just… Look, I get it. She’s young, and insecure, and she had already made plans for tonight, which she, stupidly in hindsight, decided to “invite” me along to. She expected me to just… “Fit in” to that. Like some sort of beta. But I’m not… That sort of guy, anymore.
This is not my first rodeo with this sort of experience, put it that way.
I didn’t go there for the comedy. I know this. She knows this. She decided to “fob me off”, anyway. That’s… Fine. But there ain’t no second chances around here, lol.
I don’t give a shit about some open mic comedy night, lol. But I also don’t give a shit about women who decide to… Drag me along somewhere and then ignore me. So… It is what it is. I move on. She… Can do what she wants.
If she gets desperate, she knows where to find me, ha. But I have more… “Self respect” (even drunk) than to wait for some (young) broad like this.
I infer you are in the UK or Australia. Stand up in both those places sucks ass because of the clampdown on free speech. Everyone's cagey and unfunny because they're walking on eggshells, not knowing when some bureaucrat in a uniform will come around and warn them they're walking a fine line and prison is a possibility.
And a good rule of thumb is the more hipsters in the audience, the worse the comedy will be.
Oh yeah, I totally agree with the entirety of that assessment, lol.
Though the jokes that they did feel were… “Fair game”..?
Fuck. If I was an angry person from one of the places they were saying this shit about (or one of the people), and I saw them on the street? Well let’s just say, I don’t think I would just “let it slide”…
Particularly nasty bloke (actor from a TV advert. See below, somewhere) runs a local “meme page” (not for the city the gig was in, but for a place like, 200 miles away), I’m guessing on Facebook, for the city he spent a lot of the time slagging off…
That kind of person, ha.
It’d be like, in the US, if a fucking stand-up moved from, say Dallas to Houston, and then spent the whole time saying “edgy shit” about Fort Worth, lol…
Though worse than that was the woman who claimed, verbatim, to have taken a shit in her boyfriend’s shower, and then walked it all through his house, and expected him to clean it up… And then to just… Not complain?
A woman in her 40s. With children.
Vomits…
Just watched a cartel cut off a guys feet with a machete. She's lucky.
Most open mic nights are people trying to figure out delivery. Example: I was missing my ex girlfriend the other day, so I decided to head to her place and have a chat. There were some people who told me to let it go, and I was creepy, but that didn't stop me. I grabbed my shovel and marched to the graveyard...
Most beginners can't tell this joke correctly. They get the gasp, but not the laugh. It takes work.
Add in ego, and trying to look cool, you have several bad jokes with awful delivery. Then you get two or three funny guys, and 3-4 guys starting to get it.
My first open mic night I got heckled. I got the best laughs from responding to the guy.
One of the guys, who hosts local breakfast radio, did a version of fucking Bohemian Rhapsody, sung, slagging off local towns and suburbs…
He also did Psy’s “Gangnam Style”, but as “Grandma Style”. That one I thought was quite funny, albeit… Those were his only “jokes”. Even the MC thought it was shit, ahaha…
Somehow, it got much, much worse from there…
These weren’t “beginners”, though, I’m told. “Professional comedians”… Hence the cover charge.
Which somehow makes the joke by one of the comediennes about literally smearing shit all over her “boyfriend’s” house (vaguely a bit like your girlfriend joke) so much worse, lol…
On heckling… I guess it wasn’t so much the heckling or “calling out of it” that I had a problem with, but more… The fact that “the heckler” clearly worked there…
He’s the one who took my money on the door, lol.
Initially I thought he was a plant, or part of the act, until the girl who organized the actual night (also painfully unfunny), who was MC’ing, came and basically dragged him away from the front row, because he was such a screechingly autistic embarrassment…
If your staff get drunk and act so embarrassingly that they almost get dragged away by security (massive burly security guard was doing sound, side of stage, bizarrely)..? I’m not sure that’s a great look, at least from a venue… Perspective, lol.
Cries in I hate this fucking place, ahaha
That sucks.
So, because I'm over six feet tall I have been mixed up with the bouncer. This was even by the owner. Best deal ever, they have no way to kick me out.
I'm going to a show featuring a well known comedian who's been making politically incorrect jokes for a while. He's likely too big to cancel so he has no reason to go woke. If he does we're fucked.
Wholesome. Canadian? American? English?
Yeah this gig… You know how comedy is meant to be about, not necessarily “punching up”, but at least making fun of shit like accents, or silly habits people have..?
This… Was not that. This was “everyone in this town is on meth!”
“I would never travel to [X], if you fucking paid me [insert more swearing]. I wouldn’t even die there!”
“Fucken fuck fuck shit cunt fuck” - because Australia…
Insert rapturous hollering and applause
Or (verbatim, by a woman in her 40s):
“I once shat in my boyfriend’s shower, still had sex with him [in said shower], walked it all over the floors of his house, and then made him clean it up! Haha fucking ha.”
Wow. Much edgy, so brave…
Dies inside
Funny story, when I was still in college, people thought I'd be a great stand-up comedian.
I've been to a few, before the pandemic, just to spend time with family doing something. They're usually awful, unless you see a big star. Random nobodies just hit the approved targets, and once you've heard one joke about BoJo's hair, you've really heard them all.
What you're getting is the likely equivalent to that, where the approved target is your own people because you can't get canceled and politicians are too boring to mock. Similar to how female "comedians" made their niche about talking about how trashy they are.
I left when the, no joke, local “advertising star” (TasGas, if you’re interested. It’ll be on YouTube, and it’s terrible) was making a “joke” about the high local vaccination rate, and how “great” that is…
No fucking lie.
Both I and my “date” would have cringed, at that, but I had been so thoroughly… “Neglected” by her, at that point, that I decided I was fucking out…
So then I had to negotiate three whole rooms full of hipster wankers, just to leave this building early…
Fucking horrible. And the whole time, autistic/lack of social cues weirdo was heckling the comedians with the most inane shit, probably looking for a fight…
Eugh…
What’s a middle class commuter city in the UK??
Stroud? Slough? Milton Keynes?
Imagine a comedy night somewhere like that, with comedians from… Fucking Essex, but with an insecurity/chip on their shoulder, and you essentially have what I was subjected to tonight…
Fucking horrible.
Jokes slagging off your own children/partner (female on male, in this case) just aren’t that funny, if you’re shit at it, IMHO…
But it was the jokes about “small towns in the state” which really irked me, tbh. Because they were just… Nasty. Unpleasant…
... OK, I'm imagining the crowd as being from Ponoka and Red Deer.
shudders
Sober me will have fun reading your comments (and whatever idiotic shit drunk me says), so go at it, lol…
T’was… Not fun.
I’m gonna “hit the sack”, as we say, in this shithole.
And leave my “date” to rue what she fucked up, tonight, lol…
I have other “options” (bitter, jaded, moi? Non!). I’m not so sure she does. But she’ll realize that eventually. I’m not desperate enough to be around when she does, though.
Your experience will be far more enjoyable if you keep your distance from current society and mass culture.
True, but I actually would prefer to “suffer through” nights like tonight than spend yet another night on the internet, bored and alone, like I normally do…
I’m an extrovert. I (genuinely) like people. I’m not saying I “like” this sort of culture, or the way society (including locally) is headed, but I fucking love just… Hanging out.
And you don’t tend to meet women, or even people more broadly, by shutting yourself away…
Trust me, I should know. Isolation quite literally kills.
If I hadn’t gone to a relatively “mass culture” (blues and rock. Much more boomer/Gen X than Millennial) music festival, earlier this year, I’m sincerely not sure I would still be here…
I can’t live without random human contact. May sound odd, but seriously… Even if it means putting up with the exact shit we just talked about, I just… I can’t go without that, dude. I literally need that.
I appreciate that is not the same for everyone. There’s a reason bars and clubs are dying out.
But for me, when I can afford it/someone invites me along..? It’s really all I’ve got, dude, so I just… I’ve got to get out of the house somehow, for some “legit-feeling” reason. Even if it hurts at the time.
I’ve been too (physically) sick to have adequate time and money for hobbies. This is… About all I have.
Okay, maybe that's just my experience. I could go months with no human contact, and be quite happy. All the problems in our cultures are caused by the people in our cultures. Both those ruining it, and those letting them.
I suppose you should never 'step back' from society too far, since looking at it objectively can be horrifying. Then you'd really be screwed.
I mean, you have to remember that I don't have... A house to call my own, or that I'm comfortable in, or even really ever alone in, to go back to... So...
It's not that I'm averse to the idea of "no human contact", per se. It's more that... Being at "home" is so awful that anywhere, anywhere at all, is better than this.
Only way I can really "get" what you describe is to go on holiday, which I can't afford, or to go camping, which... Just isn't possible right now. For a variety of reasons.
So trust me, it's not that I don't understand. It's just that "my" house, or even my "section" of it, isn't that sort of... Haven. And I can't escape into some sort of virtual/online world, again, because reasons...
Does that make more sense? Like, I "get" your drift. I do understand. I just... Don't have "access" to that same thing, in my own... "Private space", right now, and probably won't have for some time, barring some sort of miracle....
Sadly and unfortunately.
But having said all that, I am also definitely an extrovert, if a very shy, socially awkward one, lol...
That's... An important "difference", maybe.
I get my "energy" from "good" social interactions. Without those, I sort of... "Skin starve".
Not that I couldn't survive without. I just... "Need" it, to feel ok.
I don't get any of that... "Energy" (at all) from those I live with, though, lol. Or at least nothing "positive", in that sense. Put it that way...
That's kind of the key thing/point, ha.
Extroverts are not "very shy, socially awkward".
If you get energy from social interactions, why aren't you doing them MUCH more? And if you are doing them, why have you not built up confidence through all that experience? Why would you still be awkward?
Shyness and being awkward are marks of a lack of confidence and a lack of experience. If you are truly an extrovert, you should have neither, you should be putting yourself out in social situations until you get over both your shyness and awkwardness. You should be building your social network, because that's what extroverts do.
Not even America, ahaha… But it is exactly the same, lol…
Though “the olds” go to this one, too, just to attempt to appear “cool”…
My parents go there more than I do, no word of a lie, to go to the “restaurant” part, because it’s “trendy”…
No fucking joke, lol.
But yeah, this place used to be exactly as you describe, less than a decade ago (old-ass women, drunk hicks, angry locals), and then these fucking hipsters bought it, ripped out everything from the bottle shop to the accommodation out back (you know, like any motel) to the fucking cable sports tv, and now..?
It’s a pretentious shithole with pinball machines, cover charges, sour beers (almost the only thing on tap) and a bunch of, let’s say, adult children running around…
You can’t even go there to watch the game. Or drink decent draught beer on tap (a must, for proper pubs here). So I genuinely don’t understand how they make money, lol..
It’s so… Generically “hipster”, that I suspect I could have just described one too many “hip” joints up and down your US West Coast, though, lol…
Sad
I don't think that sort of thing even exists, here, dude (what's Kratom, anyway, lol?)...
Fairly sure Kava is literally illegal, in this country, so that would have to be an underground thing here, lol...
But anyway, place is too small for that. And too isolated. Think... Rhode Island or maybe Maine, culturally, but with the isolation of like, Anchorage, or Honolulu... But with less people than any of those places, lol.
I'll look around, when I'm back interstate, in a "proper", functional city, lol.
I know a couple of bars that are a bit more like what you are describing, but the drug of choice is (of course) MDMA, and more dubiously Ket, and, well, they're still far too "generically hipster" for me, lol...