Damn, that's deep
(media.communities.win)
You're viewing a single comment thread. View all comments, or full comment thread.
Comments (100)
sorted by:
Should have stopped there. No, no one 'deserves' to be loved.
Put the black pill pez dispenser down for a bit, AoV.
I think we can say that most people "deserve" to be loved by someone. "Deserve" doesn't mean it's a "right" you should be guaranteed, it's a declaration of an ideal.
"Good people deserve good things" doesn't mean you have a right to receive these things, it means the ideal outcome would be this statement.
It's not a black-pill! It's just a statement against entitlement. You do are not entitled to the love of other people. It is a free and undeserved gift, so you should be all the more grateful for it.
When I was a kid, my Middle Eastern family's love for me felt a bit suffocating. I sort of felt like it was the natural order of things, and maybe even resented a little. But now that I am a bit older, I realize just what it is, and how much you have to be thankful for.
Here we're talking about a different kind of love. But the same principle applies.
"Judge a man by his deserts and who will escape a whipping?"
All kidding aside, this resentful meme does not sound like "the ideal situation would be where someone would love me".
And there are many, many people who think that they are entitled to others because they are "nice guys" or "nice girls" or whatever.
I wish people would stop dropping the "self" when using the word entitled. That's what you actually mean.
You're entitled to a lot of shit, you're entitled to compensation for your labor, you're entitled to your property, you're entitled to your rights. Doesn't matter if those rights are trampled, you're just losing something you're entitled to.
People mean "self-entitled" which means you demand something you have no actual right to.
Well, but this is the point:
A lot of people use it in exactly that way.
Everyone does. Because everyone had parents who should have done so and there is nothing a child could do that should change that. In which case you learn to love yourself as a consequence of growing up properly in such an environment. The lack of both these things is how men get caught in these death spirals.
You have gone so far into being the contrarian you can't even think beyond "nope nu uh, its wrong!"
I can think of plenty of reasons. And if your parents do love you, you should be grateful for that, as not everyone has that, rather than regarding it as an entitlement or your birthright.
[alwayswas.jpg.]
If a child commits any of those reasons, you can just as easily blame the parents for failing to raise them properly to lead to this conclusion. You fucking up, and then getting to opt out of your part of the bargain makes you the shitty person.
You being entitled to it doesn't absolve you of being grateful. That's just moving the goalpost to a completely new requirement now.
If you think so little of yourself, it actually makes sense now why you are arguing this point so strongly.
Isn't this just another way of denying free will?
Why should one be grateful for something that is an entitlement?
I think being contrarian has a fair amount of value, if it's not done mindlessly.
It's not contrarian, he's expressing it as a concept of entitlement. You are not entitled to Love, which is a very specific duty that your spouse/lover engages in with you as an individual responsibility and commitment to both you and the family you cultivate.
No it is being contrarian because "oh I meant this one specific definition of the word (that I never specified in the slightest) instead of the general everyone uses" is below his level of intelligence and retarded, so I won't entertain it.
Even going into that pit, you are absolutely entitled to love with your partner/spouse. If they are not providing that, then they are not keeping up with one of the expected, or outright stated, halves of the bargain and are grounds for being terminated. You are not entitled to anyone you choose loving you, but if someone enters a relationship with you you are absolutely entitled to their love.
Unless you/he want to argue that relationship's, and women, are purely transactional things that exist only for strict utilitarian means and emotions are just pure gravy on it.
Maybe it's just your location where it's different, but this is absolutely how "deserved to be loved" is used in common parlance where I, and apparently he, are at.
That love is an out-growth of that relationship. You are not entitled to such a relationship in the first place. It must be earned, and will never be granted.
You're still taking it the wrong way. Deserves and entitlement are used interchangeably in common parlance, and as such, there is no entitlement to being loved.