"If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing – and if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order"
The whole Reaver thing never worked. Supposedly, they're all crazed and rabid zombies consumed by mindless rage, yet they're also throwing sewing parties and can operate and maintain highly advanced space faring vessels.
Good luck cuddling Tyranids. Or Orks. Or the Dark Elder. Or the regular Elder. Or Chaos. Or Necrons.
The Tau are probably the most likely to actually got for it, and as an added bonus sterilise you for free so you don't have to do any self mutilation.
Silly you, they are just misunderstood and all have redeeming qualities that is welcomed and compatible in your society/empire.
I'm reminded of the Reaver comment from Firefly.
The funny thing is in the 40k universe those probably rank in the mid-tier of bad endings.
The whole Reaver thing never worked. Supposedly, they're all crazed and rabid zombies consumed by mindless rage, yet they're also throwing sewing parties and can operate and maintain highly advanced space faring vessels.
Slanesh will cuddle, while raping your eye sockets with jalapeno-coated barbed-dick wolves.