Biden: "Listen Fat. ... We gotta.. we gotta take down those anti-vaxers by takin' up some drones and flyin' 'em around to see if they gotta put on the jab. I ain't talkin' no jive about some misinformation malarkey with..."
FBI Director: "..."
Biden: "..."
FBI Director: "The president has ordered us to release a horde of drones to intercept the latest blue-collar convoy protest. Get to it gentlemen."
FBI Assistant Director: "That's racist."
FBI Director: "Look, let's just get on with this, okay?"
2 weeks later
FBI Director: smashes through door "Mr. President!"
Biden: "Help me, Jill! They're coming to take me back to Nam!"
FBI Director: "Mr. President, this is extremely urgent! Do you remember those drone flights you ordered us to use last week?"
Biden: "No!"
FBI Director: "Well, the Maggots have developed a counter-measure."
Harris: "Oh no! Is the president's life in danger?"
FBI Director: "Not yet."
Harris: "Okay, whatever, what is it?"
FBI Director: "A group of Falconeers and some Alaska Truckers got together, and they've trained entire flocks of Bald Eagles to attack the police drones! They're calling themselves the Eagle Battalion"
Harris: "Okay, shoot the bald eagles out of the sky. That will show our resolve."
Biden: "You tell 'em Jill!"
Jill: "Honey, be quiet now."
Biden: "Okay, Cornpop. I don't want no trouble."
Jill: "Kamala, you dumb fucking slag, that's going to look as bad on TV as you do. Director, launch an investigation into the eagles, declare them to have been brainwashed into insurrectionism, then shoot them."
FBI Director: "Yes, ma'am."
Kamala: "At least I don't have to wipe his ass for him."
Biden: "No one ever does. :( "
Jill: hits Joe Biden with chain
Two days later
CNN: "CNN can confirm that the latest leaks from anonymous official sources regarding the ongoing Tucker-Trucker Trump-surrection have been confirmed to be true. According to the leaks, the FBI discovered that the Philadelphia Eagles had been attacked by Psionic Weaponry, and had been brainwashed into supporting anti-lockdown measures. In a heroic midnight raid, the FBI assaulted the stadium to rescue several muslim women who were being gang-raped by men who had been mentally white washed. A courageous gunfight ensued, killing the entire football team. Eagles fan reactions have been mixed."
This is the perfect excuse to take up the world's most badass hobby: falconry
I can easily imagine this taking place in the US
Biden: "Listen Fat. ... We gotta.. we gotta take down those anti-vaxers by takin' up some drones and flyin' 'em around to see if they gotta put on the jab. I ain't talkin' no jive about some misinformation malarkey with..."
FBI Director: "..."
Biden: "..."
FBI Director: "The president has ordered us to release a horde of drones to intercept the latest blue-collar convoy protest. Get to it gentlemen."
FBI Assistant Director: "That's racist."
FBI Director: "Look, let's just get on with this, okay?"
2 weeks later
FBI Director: smashes through door "Mr. President!"
Biden: "Help me, Jill! They're coming to take me back to Nam!"
FBI Director: "Mr. President, this is extremely urgent! Do you remember those drone flights you ordered us to use last week?"
Biden: "No!"
FBI Director: "Well, the Maggots have developed a counter-measure."
Harris: "Oh no! Is the president's life in danger?"
FBI Director: "Not yet."
Harris: "Okay, whatever, what is it?"
FBI Director: "A group of Falconeers and some Alaska Truckers got together, and they've trained entire flocks of Bald Eagles to attack the police drones! They're calling themselves the Eagle Battalion"
Harris: "Okay, shoot the bald eagles out of the sky. That will show our resolve."
Biden: "You tell 'em Jill!"
Jill: "Honey, be quiet now."
Biden: "Okay, Cornpop. I don't want no trouble."
Jill: "Kamala, you dumb fucking slag, that's going to look as bad on TV as you do. Director, launch an investigation into the eagles, declare them to have been brainwashed into insurrectionism, then shoot them."
FBI Director: "Yes, ma'am."
Kamala: "At least I don't have to wipe his ass for him."
Biden: "No one ever does. :( "
Jill: hits Joe Biden with chain
Two days later
CNN: "CNN can confirm that the latest leaks from anonymous official sources regarding the ongoing Tucker-Trucker Trump-surrection have been confirmed to be true. According to the leaks, the FBI discovered that the Philadelphia Eagles had been attacked by Psionic Weaponry, and had been brainwashed into supporting anti-lockdown measures. In a heroic midnight raid, the FBI assaulted the stadium to rescue several muslim women who were being gang-raped by men who had been mentally white washed. A courageous gunfight ensued, killing the entire football team. Eagles fan reactions have been mixed."
Your handler: "Shit they got into the CCTV feed again!"
They need to stop being so predictable.
I dont know about you, but I would unironically watch this sitcom. Too bad no one would ever make it.
Actually, I take that back. Someone get Razorfist and Eric July on the phone.
I feel like the Biden Regime is what would happen if "Four Lions" turned into "The West Wing".
Ismail Al-Biden: "Raid Mar-A-Lago. Radicalize the moderates."
Embrace medieval falconry, poetry, and hunting. Reject traditional video games and movies.