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31
Nonceflix puts a stake through the heart of their lesbian vampire series. Here's a rundown of some of their canceled shit. Can't imagine what they have in common. (archive.ph)
posted 3 years ago by GeneralBoobs 3 years ago by GeneralBoobs +31 / -0
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Comments (26)
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▲ 23 ▼
– dagthegnome 23 points 3 years ago +23 / -0

For some reason, the idea of a cooking show presented by Paris Hilton sent me into hysterics. I actually laughed for a couple minutes straight.

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▲ 17 ▼
– deleted 17 points 3 years ago +17 / -0
▲ 4 ▼
– GeneralBoobs [S] 4 points 3 years ago +4 / -0

I could imagine all the chefs turning around/glancing over their shoulders and screaming at having forgot the crypt keeper was behind them.

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▲ 8 ▼
– deleted 8 points 3 years ago +8 / -0
▲ 16 ▼
– Smith1980 16 points 3 years ago +16 / -0

Netflix really over estimates the audiences for these shows.

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▲ 24 ▼
– Grumman 24 points 3 years ago +24 / -0

That depends - what kind of lesbian vampires are we talking about?

teen drama

Never mind.

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▲ 14 ▼
– Kaarous 14 points 3 years ago +14 / -0

That's assuming the whole process isn't money laundering.

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▲ 7 ▼
– GeneralBoobs [S] 7 points 3 years ago +7 / -0

That's why they are experiencing the gut-bursting shits version of revenue loss.

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▲ 1 ▼
– FurriesRock 1 point 3 years ago +1 / -0

I'm actually surprised that Another Life didn't have a bigger audience.

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▲ 15 ▼
– deleted 15 points 3 years ago +15 / -0
▲ 12 ▼
– Smith1980 12 points 3 years ago +12 / -0

In my younger years I would’ve loved such a movie at night on Cinemax

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▲ 14 ▼
– joeyjojoshabadoo1 14 points 3 years ago +14 / -0

And a younger version of you did, and it had Alyssa Milano in it, and that younger you was thrilled because he only knew her as the cute girl-next-door type from Who's the Boss?

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▲ 4 ▼
– Smith1980 4 points 3 years ago +4 / -0

Oh yea. She was in something like that. I also remember being excited about watching Dana Plato’s porno different strokes

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▲ 11 ▼
– joeyjojoshabadoo1 11 points 3 years ago +11 / -0

In that era, the other big showstopper was Tasha Yar from Star Trek: The Next Generation (Denise Crosby) being in one of those cable pornos, and for those unaware, it's time for a little campfire chat:

In the 80's, having cable TV was a big deal. If you were poor, you used a metal bar/wire attached to the TV to get UHF reception out of the air. That was usually CBS, NBC, ABC, FOX, PBS, and maybe a couple of local-ish stations with pretty good reach. If your parents had money, you had another maybe 20 cable stations, including Nickelodeon, MTV, and who cares. If your parents had too much money, you got a movie station or even two: HBO and Cinemax. HBO was largely family oriented, Cinemax slightly saucier, but more importantly: Cinemax first showed softcore in the wee hours of the night.

Thing is, if you didn't have Cinemax, you could still sorta get Cinemax for a fraction of a second at a time. Normally, if you weren't supposed to receive Cinemax but you turned the channel to it, it would fuzz. If you were a little luckier, it would stay (maybe you'd have audio!) but the picture would be all scrambled--wavy and shifty and basically you'd get the overall colors of things, but no picture you could see. Most of the time, it would give you scrambled, then fuzz. Occasionally on blessed times it wouldn't go to fuzz but remain scrambled with audio, delivering you intriguing wavy colors and audio.

Crafty kid secret that got passed around: Cable remotes had a "last channel" button that flicked from your current channel to whatever channel you last plugged in numbers for. If you plugged in the numbers for the Cinemax channel, then plugged them in again, both current and last channel were set to the same, and the "last channel" button would attempt to get you to the channel. If you didn't get Cinemax, but set your channel and last channel to Cinemax, you could slam on that "last channel" button, and it would keep trying to get you the channel.

Sometimes this could get you nearly unscrambled picture as long as you kept hitting the button. Sometimes you got mostly scrambled punctuated by static. Thing is, even scrambled you could usually make out boobs, and Cinemax was a deliverer of boobs. Sometimes even Alyssa Milano or Denise Crosby boobs!

What a glorious time, and what a great puzzle. It makes me sad that as far as I know, there's no such puzzle in store for my kids, as they get older and horny. What a time to be alive.

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▲ 1 ▼
– Hoodie_Fren 1 point 3 years ago +1 / -0

I always thought Tasha Yar was insanely hot, but I didn't know about this movie back in the 90's. I went crazy when I found stills for that movie on the internet some 20 years ago.

This movie alone was a good trade off from her leaving the show.

After all she wouldn't be doing wouldn't be doing softcore porn in the mid 90's if her career hadn't tanked because she thought she was too good for Star Trek (when she was nothing but eye candy).

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▲ 1 ▼
– GeneralBoobs [S] 1 point 3 years ago +1 / -0

I was gay as a picnic and even I thought she hot in Red Shoe Diaries. God, I loved her in Trek.

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▲ 1 ▼
– Smith1980 1 point 3 years ago +1 / -0

Oh yea I spent many a night watching wavy lines. We just had basic cable but a good friend of mine had Cinemax so when I spent the night at his place we would sneak in the den and watch at super low volume

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▲ 1 ▼
– FurriesRock 1 point 3 years ago +1 / -0

I remember that. Her boobs were amazing then!

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▲ 5 ▼
– deleted 5 points 3 years ago +5 / -0
▲ 9 ▼
– WeedleTLiar 9 points 3 years ago +9 / -0

Four animated series just got axed: Wings of Fire, Antiracist Baby, With Kind Regards From Kindergarten and Stamped: Racism, Antiracism and You.

Thank God

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▲ 7 ▼
– GimmeFuelGimmeFire 7 points 3 years ago +7 / -0

Not just lesbian vampires. Interracial lebian vampires.

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▲ 6 ▼
– Galean 6 points 3 years ago +6 / -0

Co-showrunner Linda Yvette Chávez posted a long message to fans, stating that “we have to rethink the way in which we value" this kind of "revolutionary art." "Metrics and algorithms," she writes, "will never measure the true impact of what we did here." It’s a statement that’s hard to disagree with.

Does not matter if people do not like or want to see this garbage all they care is "the message"

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▲ 5 ▼
– WeedleTLiar 5 points 3 years ago +5 / -0

Revolutionary art, lol

"Who cares about anyone actually wanti g to watch my show, it's revolutionary."

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▲ 3 ▼
– GeneralBoobs [S] 3 points 3 years ago +3 / -0

It's as revolutionary as shitting your pants so badly it drips.

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▲ 3 ▼
– GeneralBoobs [S] 3 points 3 years ago +3 / -0

Looks like the real message is stop the woke or have your company stuffed in the incinerator with the rest of the bodies.

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▲ 10 ▼
– deleted 10 points 3 years ago +10 / -0
▲ 6 ▼
– GeneralBoobs [S] 6 points 3 years ago +6 / -0

That's because it plays to the interacial fantasies of the white women who watch that shit.

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