I figured I'd post this here because I'd probably get the highest quality feedback...
Essentially, I've already beaten the game of life based on most objectives people have. I've gone as far as feasibly possible on my own. I don't know how to elevate my situation anymore. I earn $150k/yr. I only need to do about 2 hours of actual work a day to get my job done so I just spend most my day shitposting on the internet because I've got nothing better to do. I already live in one of the best cities in Canada. I have a nice house, a nice car and I've got $100k sitting in my bank account. I'm situated to inherent about $2m. I could probably retire if I just saved my money at about 45-50yo and maintain the same standard of living as now. I have 0 "negative" influences on my life. No stress from anything. I eat healthy. I go to the gym. I'm in shape. I play summer and winter team sports. I have a bit of a social life and hang out with people on average probably once a week outside of work.
The problem is that life is boring as fuck for me. I don't really enjoy much of what I get up to. I feel like my whole existence is just working for other people's benefit instead of my own. I'm just a tax payer for the government's interest. I have no life of my own it seems. I just exist to fulfil a role for everyone else in society. That's how I feel anyhow.
Video games are also boring to me. I can barely play an hour of any game before I get bored of it.
The only enjoyment I seem to get out of life is when I travel but that's only because I blow tons of money which isn't sustainable and then as soon as the trip is done, it's back to the grind. Kind of depressing to get 3 weeks out of the year where I actually felt like I was living and the other 49 weeks is just standby mode waiting for the next 3 weeks off to travel and blow a bunch of money.
Whenever I gaze into the lives of others around me most seem to be caught up in some sort of personal drama that in actuality is mostly fabricated because whomever is involved in the drama lacks the wisdom or competence to solve the drama. Most of the problems people are caught up can easily be solved but it almost seems like people feed on this drama and it's what gives their life meaning. That doesn't seem any better to me. That just seems like people trying to find something to distract their attention so they never have to fall into the situation I'm in and truly analyze if they're happy with their life.
All the "cultural" shit in our society just feels fake and contrived to me. I couldn't give a shit what TayTay or Kardashian is up to. All the politics is nothing but theatre for the masses. Nothing will change. Nothing that the media reports on matters. You have no control over any of it. It's a waste of energy, like every other avenue it seems. Media is boring. It's just all the same repetitive tropes. History is boring because it's all made up and anyone can make up whatever they want. Religion is also a lost cause for me. If all that matters is life after life then what about my life now. Just more holding pattern. Work to pay taxes to Rome until you die. I might as well just be dead now.
How do people manage through life? It's just so monotonous.
I spent most of my life trying to pursue career+women and both those ends seem entirely worthless. I already peaked on those fronts, now I'm supposed to enjoy the fruits of my hard work or something but there's nothing to enjoy.
So, I have a good income and stable situation. What would you guys do? What am I supposed to do? I've tried the basic join clubs and shit but frankly, I hate most other people. My kind of people are the Genghis Khans of the world. Maybe a Dionysus type. I find most people I meet in normal venues in the community are just dry, boring people living their monotonous lives too. All judging others from whatever sense of moral high ground they're standing on compared to others. Most seeing fun as vice. Canadians in general also seem to be too untrusting of others and guarded.
This life just seems to be a drag and it really shouldn't be because I do have a lot of good things going for me but I don't know how to turn what I have going for me into anything more. I feel like my existence at the moment is just to prop up a giant Ponzi scheme known as civilization.
Any advice?
What was your great great grandfather like? It's actually proven but most everyone is forgotten in a few generations even if they have children.
I know myself and children would not give me purpose. And given the way women are, the most likely scenario if I have children is divorce, alimony, child support and then once the children are old enough they give me a call once a month maybe seeing them once a year. But ultimately, nothing of my life changing. No thanks.
In another comment you said watching children play with toys is precious. Maybe you'd enjoy raising kids, and eventually find more purpose than you realize now.
I would enjoy raising kids under the right circumstances.
Those circumstances cannot be met.
For example, these are hard rules for me:
These are hard rules for me. I could never enjoy raising children if these weren't met. These are not going to be met and also meet the requisites I require in a wife to want to live with her and not kill myself.
Trust me, meeting my requisites for wife and children is just not possible to be met. I know. I spent almost a decade looking. After a while one has to move on. That's not the avenue for me.
My great great grandfather was like me. It's written in my genes to be like him. My son has his name. He was an inventor who designed different engines. My father is an engineer. His father as well. His father as well.
You sound like you're bored, which makes sense when you consider you don't take any real risks. You travel and gamble to simulate real risk. Your life is empty and you are trying to fill it with more waste.
You won't truly know yourself until you lose yourself in service to your family. It's scary but you cling to this lame identity of finance wagie with lots of materialism.
Cool, can you send me your 18yo daughter to get started on the family thing? I'll keep her housed in Afghanistan though because I don't want her to legally be entitled to anything of mine. That should be fine with you, right?
If all life is, is simply propagating the next generation without anything else worthy of cause inbetween then I say end it. Humanity isn't worth to keep going.
I'm not materialistic at all, hence why materialism doesn't do anything for me. Actual materialistic people actually do get a high on acquiring things. I don't. I blew money specifically because I'm not materialistic. To me, the experience is always worth more than that material.
Lol you're the big man with all the resources, go find her. I didn't say the second paragraph either. You're the one feeling empty, not me. And if you can't keep her, you can join the long line of men that failed with women. Most of them were resourceless so at least they had a good reason for failing.
"Experiences" are just another form of consumerism, this time its just some activity you have to pay for curated and marketed to you. So, if you don't love stuff and "experiences", stop living a life that you measure based on your salary, your house, your car, and your tourist "experiences."
You were me before I had children and a loving wife. I was bored. I had excess money with nothing to spend it on. I traveled and spent my resources on "experiences" and even threw money away gambling. I felt nothing when I lost 10k$ one day.
Now I stay up at night because my son has a stomach ache. I love caring about something more than myself and my family's love for me is more fulfilling than millions of dollars. No lie. The consumer life you are living doesn't seem to be much of a life for you at all based on your post. Good luck!
I'm glad you found a purpose in life in your child and family. You should be thankful for that because not every man will get that even if he tries. I think some genetic analysis study I read suggested only about ~40% of men ever born have had children.
I did pursue that path before when I was younger but nothing came of it. Unfortunately, that path is closed off to me now.