I figured I'd post this here because I'd probably get the highest quality feedback...
Essentially, I've already beaten the game of life based on most objectives people have. I've gone as far as feasibly possible on my own. I don't know how to elevate my situation anymore. I earn $150k/yr. I only need to do about 2 hours of actual work a day to get my job done so I just spend most my day shitposting on the internet because I've got nothing better to do. I already live in one of the best cities in Canada. I have a nice house, a nice car and I've got $100k sitting in my bank account. I'm situated to inherent about $2m. I could probably retire if I just saved my money at about 45-50yo and maintain the same standard of living as now. I have 0 "negative" influences on my life. No stress from anything. I eat healthy. I go to the gym. I'm in shape. I play summer and winter team sports. I have a bit of a social life and hang out with people on average probably once a week outside of work.
The problem is that life is boring as fuck for me. I don't really enjoy much of what I get up to. I feel like my whole existence is just working for other people's benefit instead of my own. I'm just a tax payer for the government's interest. I have no life of my own it seems. I just exist to fulfil a role for everyone else in society. That's how I feel anyhow.
Video games are also boring to me. I can barely play an hour of any game before I get bored of it.
The only enjoyment I seem to get out of life is when I travel but that's only because I blow tons of money which isn't sustainable and then as soon as the trip is done, it's back to the grind. Kind of depressing to get 3 weeks out of the year where I actually felt like I was living and the other 49 weeks is just standby mode waiting for the next 3 weeks off to travel and blow a bunch of money.
Whenever I gaze into the lives of others around me most seem to be caught up in some sort of personal drama that in actuality is mostly fabricated because whomever is involved in the drama lacks the wisdom or competence to solve the drama. Most of the problems people are caught up can easily be solved but it almost seems like people feed on this drama and it's what gives their life meaning. That doesn't seem any better to me. That just seems like people trying to find something to distract their attention so they never have to fall into the situation I'm in and truly analyze if they're happy with their life.
All the "cultural" shit in our society just feels fake and contrived to me. I couldn't give a shit what TayTay or Kardashian is up to. All the politics is nothing but theatre for the masses. Nothing will change. Nothing that the media reports on matters. You have no control over any of it. It's a waste of energy, like every other avenue it seems. Media is boring. It's just all the same repetitive tropes. History is boring because it's all made up and anyone can make up whatever they want. Religion is also a lost cause for me. If all that matters is life after life then what about my life now. Just more holding pattern. Work to pay taxes to Rome until you die. I might as well just be dead now.
How do people manage through life? It's just so monotonous.
I spent most of my life trying to pursue career+women and both those ends seem entirely worthless. I already peaked on those fronts, now I'm supposed to enjoy the fruits of my hard work or something but there's nothing to enjoy.
So, I have a good income and stable situation. What would you guys do? What am I supposed to do? I've tried the basic join clubs and shit but frankly, I hate most other people. My kind of people are the Genghis Khans of the world. Maybe a Dionysus type. I find most people I meet in normal venues in the community are just dry, boring people living their monotonous lives too. All judging others from whatever sense of moral high ground they're standing on compared to others. Most seeing fun as vice. Canadians in general also seem to be too untrusting of others and guarded.
This life just seems to be a drag and it really shouldn't be because I do have a lot of good things going for me but I don't know how to turn what I have going for me into anything more. I feel like my existence at the moment is just to prop up a giant Ponzi scheme known as civilization.
Any advice?
Lol. But that's not a natural state to be in. A healthy human mind doesn't need to acquire anything tangible in order to feel pleasure. It's typically hedonists who become jaded in this type of way, like a drug addict saying "I can feel pleasure, but just not by anything short of a lethal dose of drugs".
Is it though?
Do you remember the first time you played a video game as a child? Do you remember the joy you got from it? Do you remember just wanting to wakeup and play those video games that you got great enjoyment out of. Could you do this again, today? To the same extent? A lot of people can't and imo, that's normal. If video games don't work for you then watch a child as they play with some dolls. It's always precious to watch because of the joy children get over things so basic. That's an experience you don't get back. Why is that? Well, in a lot of ways I think that's because these experiences are part of our overall development as humans and once you've had these experiences and you've grown they simply aren't the same for you. They served their purpose then but they don't serve the same purpose anymore.
I remember I went on some super expensive 2 week psychological program retreat thing to supposedly help people and one activity they did was get a whole bunch of adults to play as if they were children. They were trying to get people back to that childlike center. It doesn't really work but it's a tool they used because they knew not a lot of adults have that ability to feel joy/pleasure in the manner they did when they were a child.
You use drugs as an example. What if life is a drug and I've already experienced the highs enough there's no high left for me to chase or worse the only highs left for me to chase will ruin me in the process of chasing like a meth addict chasing the next high?
You say what I'm experiencing is not normal. Or maybe lots of normal people just haven't had the same highs as me so they still have things to chase? What do you think I should do? Take drugs? Go to a psychologist? Those are both laughable and would make things worse not better.
Exactly, you can't replicate the experience of doing something for the first time. And no, I wouldn't recommend either of those options. Drugs would indeed make things worse, and psychologists are full of crap. If you've grown bored with this world, then you should turn your attention to things not of this world.
I went pretty hard into that side of things. I just could never get into it. The spiritual realm just seems no better to me than reading a fantasy novel.
I went hard into Christianity, then Evola's work, then Hindu and Buddhist stuff... It was fun while I learned about it but then it must stopped doing much for me. Another distraction for a time.
I also tried fighting and did Muay Thai for a bit and was big into weigh lifting and stuff but that never really resonated with me either.
The best description of a lot of learning and training I've ever heard was on here where someone said it just feels like studying for an exam you never take and that's what I feel like learning and training is. Same with spirituality also.
Understandable. There's an overwhelming amount of books and teachers on those subjects, and I don't care much for ideology or abstractions. If you haven't experienced it, then maybe you will someday. All I can say is that boredom isn't an issue for me.
This happens when you don't value anything. If there is something you truly value, you will be looking to find it or create it in purer forms. For example, video games. The favorite games from your childhood were great, but even better games can be made - revolutionary ones, even. Unfortunately, that is really hard and the people in the industry kind of suck at it now. If you loved games, finding a worthy developer to bankroll or embarking on the challenge of creating the next great FPS mechanic or RPG system would easily absorb your attention.
It doesn't sound like you're into them though. From what I can tell, you find pleasure in things you can simply buy like travel and sex. These things will never be that special because no humanity is required, just cash. The lack of meaning in your life, therefore, is not surprising.
The frontier or pioneer mindset is a large part of what you lack, imo. That may be because many pioneers were historically motivated to build a better future for the next generation. The desire to give to others comes from God, and as He withdraws from our world, that is fading. Another powerful source of fuel for the frontier mindset, though, is adrenaline. You could always switch your career to something that is guaranteed to put your life on the line, like deep sea crab fishing. For some people, that makes life meaningful.
At the minimum, you should move somewhere else. There are thousands of other places you could live, literally an inexhaustible array of possibilities, many of which would be more interesting than the boring drone apartments you seem to be living in.
The only thing I've truly valued in life throughout my whole life was friendship. I like traveling because I have fun experiences with other people, which is the only thing I value: doing things with others and enjoying the company of others. I'm a very social person I guess in that regard.
So I do try to seek this out but it's not easy. I find the more I try sometimes the harder it is.
I've lived in 9 different cities in Canada already. If I move it has to be in a different country. Canada isn't it. Problem is being able to get a comparable job in a diff country where I can still enjoy life. That's tough. Moving to a diff country and being poor isn't necessarily going to improve things for me.
Relationships with people are only second in meaning to your relationship with God, so you seem to be in good shape on that. However, the strongest friendships are formed by filling each other's mutual needs as well as pursuing the same quests in life. From what you described, it sounds like the people around you are satiated on lib dopamine sources and don't seem to feel much in the way of a higher calling, so you're going to strike out on both those fronts. As far as making true friends while traveling and blowing a ton of cash, idk that sounds very hard.
One way to find decent people who truly need you is to get really good at a particular skill. If you have any drive for a craft, I'd look into that.
Going international does carry risk, but you're in a more comfortable position than most. Your investment income alone could tide you over hard times. As far as the risk analysis goes, I'm no statistician, but I look at it this way: you have some % chance of ending up in a bad spot if you make the move, but your chance of living a gray, torturous existence is 100% if you stay in Canada. Thus, moving is a fait accompli.
Jeffrey Epstein was said to be in that state by people around him. Except for when he was fucking some underage sloots he felt nothing but existential dread.