Some of you will have seen the post the other day. Apparently I made a girl “uncomfortable” via a text exchange (I assure you, there was nothing untoward on my part).
I pressed the University for details, and now I am told I am being formally investigated. They’ve formally accused me of misconduct, now, and told me that I must speak to them over the phone, this week…
For various reasons I won’t go into, I simply cannot do the phone thing, this week. I just can’t. I’ve told them so, and I’ve also told them that I will be seeking legal advice.
They linked me to a web page which essentially, very nebulously, outlines that anyone can make an allegation against a student, even anonymously, and it will be investigated, even if the situation in question has nothing to do with the University…
It even says “Anything can be sexual harassment, even if it only occurs once”. So I gather that is what I am up for…
Fuck me. This is so fucked…
And sue the whore for defamation. (Pinging u/bamboozler1 so he sees this.)
it's not practical to pay a lawyer hundreds of dollars an hour over something that has nothing to do with the law. the university is running its own little fiefdom.
It depends. If universities in Australia are allowed to expel students for any reason without the student having a right to sue the university or appeal to a court, which is likely, they can likely do whatever the fuck they want to any student.
The relationship between university and student is contractual, with the school holding all the power.
If you are playing a video game and Blizzard decides to ban you, you can't really go to a lawyer over it, can you? Unless universities in Australia are subject to some kind of special law which gives them legal rights in disciplinary proceedings, you're basically in the same situation where you're at their mercy.
I just don't know. I really, really don't know...
I can't fight this, this week. Like, I simply cannot. So I won't be able to figure any of that out until at least next week.
Unfortunately they know all that. They know they're going after me when I'm exceptionally vulnerable.
All I can really do is palm them off until I have even the slightest mental capacity to deal with this...
Yeah, you definitely could, but most people won't.
Even if a lawyer is completely useless in this case, which I doubt, better to pay and remove all doubt. Lawyers are the civil version of mercenaries, you want to retain them.
I actually can, since their tos doesn't trump eu law.
He should be able to get a half hour consultation without paying anything. You'd also know better than any of us that a boiler plate letter of intent can sometimes get results.
All good advice, but also: record everything going forward if you want any chance counter suing them later.
I think it's time to question your gender and counter attack with her being transphobic towards you, which clearly happened before her accusation.
Record every phone conversation. Document EVERYTHING.
This is the other big important thing yes, document everything.
Backup school emails
Yep. I think I’ll try and download/archive it all this week, just in case…
I did that have a backup when I started - it routed to a separate account.
Became far too enormous, though, unfortunately…
I’m almost 100% certain that this Uni actually has a policy against doing this, on your private device…
Which is ludicrous, and obviously in this case, fuck them, but it tells you something, doesn’t it?
They really want to control all our data… 😑
Even if I survive this, and get through it, with my reputation (and studies) intact, it's going to be incredibly hard to trust people again, to the same extent, which was minimal, anyway...
That's the shit thing, I suppose. I haven't done anything actually wrong, and yet, this will most definitely change me, going forward, not necessarily for the better...
I didn't have much trust in "due process" anyway, but after this, I doubt I will have any left at all. And that's... Rather unfortunate, I would think.
You're not alone, myself and all my friends (all male) have been accused of sexual harassment and/or domestic violence once or multiple times and all without evidence.
If it starts to go south, just walk away, school isn't what it used to be nor are degrees. Male connections and leave the country. Shit here aint that great anyways.
What country are you in?
Document everything and have it in a nice little package to take to a right wing media outlet if you need to.
unless you can link the web site to their rules and procedures or whatever nobody can really help you navigate the process.
I can’t link it, because I don’t want to identify the University directly…
I’ve copied the text in question above.
This is Australia.
Realistically, at this point, I will probably speak to a lawyer, especially as the person “investigating” me just told me not to do that…
They want to keep it “informal”, apparently, which is why they are trying to force me to converse over the phone, rather than email…
Fucking fuck.
Refuse to talk over the phone. Get everything in writing regardless of what else you do.
Not probably. Do it mate! Now. Instead of talking to us, you should be talking with a lawyer.
She's not got your best interests at heart, so yeah, do the opposite of her advice.
I'm just trying to work out my options, plus financial practicalities at the moment...
Then I will see about the lawyer situation.
Struggling (obviously)...
I'm seconding this guy's advice. We're doing our best here but ultimately only a lawyer in your jurisdiction can give you the kind of advice you need. Just to repeat: DO NOT speak to them by phone or in person. Keep it by email ideally, and if they try to ambush you do what the other guy and said and pull out your phone, start recording, and loudly say that you're recording. Also refuse to speak about incident.
If it were me, I would preface every phone call or in person meeting with "I am recording the conversation", and then doing so. Keep your phone in a holster in case you need to quick draw.
He shouldn't be interacting with them unless they're on the other side of a computer screen. If I were him I'd say we're doing this over email or not at all. If nothing else it's proof that they're being sleazy by not wanting to leave a record, which isn't a sign they're doing things on the level.
u/bamboozler1 I'd also suggest backing up any emails if this is a school email. Send your whole inbox and any further communications to an account you control, because they may very well lock you out of the system. You need access to any records to get any use out of them.
Here’s what the bullshit website says:
They won’t tell me specifics. They won’t point out “policy”. Just this nebulous, open-ended bullshit.
Anyone (including people who have nothing to do with the University) can “report” someone via that site. Including anonymously…
No fucking wonder false allegations happen all the time…
Insane.
I make a habit to spam the fuck out of systems like that every time I find one. Anonymous bullshit reports by the hundreds? Yes please!
After getting flooded with sexual assault allegations against the California Raisins for three days, most people start to realize that maybe their reporting system is a little too "inclusive".
The UK police used to have (don't know if it still exists) a fucking chat room where you could talk to a real police officer and report whatever you want. Fun times.
Mix up a drink, slap on a VPN somewhere in London and use a common British surname.
So, Singh, al-Jordani or Mukanabe?
If you want them to take your report seriously, yes.
Yeah I know, right…
Unfortunately power dynamics do be like that.
The context is the US (specifically Texas), but this is how bad this whole "unsubstantiated allegations are all that matters" culture on campus has become...
https://archive.is/uwxHD
See also: Katie Meyer, college soccer captain. Though in her case, it wasn't so much a false allegation, as just piss poor "due practice" and follow up by the University...
Shit's real bad.
From someone who's been in a similar situation, good luck. And how you carry yourself and act goes a long way to everything working in your favour. Don't do anything dumb and go to a lawyer.
Hey, just wanted to add my personal support to your difficult situation.
I'm well past university, and in the time and place my graduation happened - Italy ~25 years ago - this nonsense would not have been tolerated.
Me and my family will be praying for you. Do not yield!
Meant to ask you this yesterday, but what do you (personally) think this broad has a hard-on for you over? Why would you guess she's trying to fuck with you?