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posted 2 years ago by ThatsAlright 2 years ago by ThatsAlright +77 / -0
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▲ 23 ▼
– ApparentlyImAHeretic 23 points 2 years ago +23 / -0

The secret is to be okay with not finding someone. I never went out of my way to date and I met someone through one of my hobbies. Our relationship feels very natural and neither of us are sacrificing much.

Even if I didn't meet her, I'd be happier alone than in an imperfect relationship.

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▲ 11 ▼
– SomeHands10 11 points 2 years ago +11 / -0

The secret is to be okay with not finding someone.

Even if I didn't meet her, I'd be happier alone than in an imperfect relationship.

This could be called something like "accepting MGTOW in principle", and is very powerful for men based on a standard analysis of negotiation in any context. If you are not willing to walk away from a bad deal and just say no, the other party has you by the balls and can demand anything they want. Obviously the same thing applies to men and relationships - if men are told that they need to find a woman or the most important thing a man could ever achieve is having access to sex, then they are easily manipulated into accepting bad deals as they aren't willing to walk away from these.

That's why most of the standard advice for men, from women, from "traditionalists" and even from "red-pilled men", is bunk - it still focuses entirely on men "getting" women, rather than men just being their own men and demanding a good deal, or being happy being alone if it doesn't come along.

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▲ 4 ▼
– ApparentlyImAHeretic 4 points 2 years ago +4 / -0

I remember agreeing with the root principle of MGTOW, but I don't consider myself like the people who call themselves MGTOW. For men who are supposedly going their own way, there's a lot of obsession with women in that community.

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▲ 5 ▼
– SomeHands10 5 points 2 years ago +5 / -0

I suspect MGTOW sites don't give a fair indication of an average man who has truly decided to "go his own way". The men that actually come to terms with being MGTOW move on and leave that community to carry on doing whatever interests them by themselves. After all, the only thing they definitely have in common would be what they aren't doing (getting together with women), so that doesn't really work. The ones that you see there either can't let go or haven't reached that stage.

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▲ 3 ▼
– elleand202 3 points 2 years ago +3 / -0

or being happy being alone

This is good advice. However in practice, most guys who call themselves MGTOW obsessively complain about women and being single.

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▲ 6 ▼
– SomeHands10 6 points 2 years ago +6 / -0

Of course the MGTOW that you do hear from are the ones that do complain. You don't hear from that don't complain because they aren't complaining. It's just standard survivorship bias.

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▲ 2 ▼
– covok48 2 points 2 years ago +3 / -1

I found mine in college. That’s one of the reasons you go in the first place.

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