Anyone know what the fuck's going on in Ohio?
(twitter.com)
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I've seen more than enough movies to know that when a town is evacuated completely, and there's all kinds of special effects and news reports showing how "dangerous" it is to even approach , that means there's either aliens there or a zombie outbreak.
But it's never what they say it is.
<taps head>
Ah ah! Rule #2: Double tap.
Rasputin survived worse. Empty the magazine.
"Til it goes 'click'!"
You forgot some options, fren. Like vampires or wights or spiders or Wendigos...
or vampiric wendigo spiders.