Here's how you actually combat the "men should take on an equitable share of household labour"...
All men would agree with this in concept. Men are very much about equity. The problem though when you get into equity issues with women is that women are unable to grasp quality/effort of work and are only really good at grasping time of work and only time of work they can observe. To give you a really basic example: A man might decide to rewire something. If the man has no experience wiring things, this can be fairly dangerous. He's going to need to read up on it for a few hours at least and watch some youtube videos. He has to research. The wiring itself might take him 30 minutes to do but it required a couple days of research and a lot of brainpower on his part, not to mention risk involved in doing something entirely new. It wasn't easy or comfortable at all and was outside his comfort zone. A woman sees the man spend 30 minutes rewiring something and to her, her 30 minutes of doing the dishes is on par with that labour. This is incredibly inequitable in the way she's treating his work but that is how much women will treat it.
Now back to how you handle this... Women shouldn't be working a full-time 40 hour a week job. Women should instead be at home, home-schooling and looking after the household. Thus your 40 hours of work to earn an income should be equivalent to her cooking, cleaning and looking after the kids. In this way you never have an argument on equity because you have completely different roles.
When both people work, it causes massive problems with regard to equity. For example, I spent 8 years in education with a masters in statistics and my work is something most women, or people even, aren't smart enough to do. Do I work hard? Absolutely not. I have an extremely well-paid easy job but I earned this through 8 years of schooling and my superior intelligence. A woman might realize I don't work that hard because I come home from work early and I'm not stressed out. Meanwhile, she might be a nurse who is stressed out of her mind. She now thinks I should contribute more to the household work because I have an easier job despite the fact I earn twice as much as she does. Just because I'm smarter and worked hard to get to where I am doesn't mean I should have to do more work at home simply because of her lack of competence. But women will see it this way.
Trust me, I've been in long-term serious relationships... The only real way to make a relationship work when it comes to equitable work is to not have the woman work and to have completely distinct roles rather than having the same role and splitting things 50/50. Each person should have a completely different responsibility. No shared responsibilities. Otherwise, there's going to be issues. Most modern relationships that work-well tend to be ones where the men do most of the work yet the irony of these relationships is the women often try to proclaim that they are contributing 50/50. Men get 0 appreciation for their contribution.
She now thinks I should contribute more to the household work because I have an easier job despite the fact I earn twice as much as she does. Just because I'm smarter and worked hard to get to where I am doesn't mean I should have to do more work at home simply because of her lack of competence. But women will see it this way.
I agree with the wiring part but not with this. Your intelligence and 8 years of schooling are part of the value you bring to this hypothetical scenario, but you're trying to create a division of labor that works for your family. Being all 'I shouldn't have to do the extra work I clearly have time and energy for, because I earned my easy job because I'm smarter than you' when she's working hard and struggling isn't healthy, and it's very adversarial. You make it sound like your first response to any discussion about fairness is to try and outsmart her so you get what you want and she doesn't.
Do you think a doctor should be paid the same as a garbage man? Why not? What is it about a doctor's work that makes it more valuable? Supply/demand, right? I'm saying the work I do is more valuable than the work she does overall, just because she might struggle more doesn't mean my work is any lesser than hers or hers is somehow "more work".
I don't know what you do except that it requires a master's in statistics, does it provide a more worthwhile service to society than caring for the sick? You are much less replaceable than a nurse so sure, from a supply and demand perspective your work is worth more. It's not lesser than hers. But in present terms, hers is more work if you are, by your own words, enjoying a very easy job and she is working hard and stressed from it.
We're likely on the same page, mostly. More goes into assessing value than just what you see on the surface. Feminist messaging is all about ignoring reality in order to coddle women and push all responsibility onto men.
I'm just saying a domestic partnership should be about supporting each other and the larger family, not deciding that you get to put in less work (that you have more time and energy to do) because you're more intelligent and educated than your overworked partner.
Which is why it's always preferably to have a wife who doesn't work, so she can contribute in other ways and not think you need to work harder to be equitable.
Let's frame it another way. If you earn $200k/yr working part-time and she earns $50k/yr working full-time; who should be doing the cooking and cleaning? She'll say you because she works harder but in reality it should be her because you're contributing 4x as much to the relationship. Equitable means she needs to pull up her contribution level in such a scenario. That's the point I'm getting at.
The issue is that every woman wants to be a nurse or a teacher, to the point that male teachers are a vanishing minority and male nurses are distinctly rare.
Nursing and teaching have become an overwhelmingly female dominated profession. As a result, the supply of nurses is high, and the market rate for their labor is lower.
Women don't want to do statistics. They hate math. Even women who don't hate math would still much rather follow a career in their interest.
Men are willing to make sacrifices to peruse a career that pays the most money. Women will "follow their heart", even if the pay is total shit.
You can put a value on jobs and roles that are "more worthwhile service to society". It is a dollar value.
But that counts for jack and shit when it comes to brining home the bacon.
Woman: "Oh darling, I want to follow my heart and dreams and care for the sick."
Man: "So I am going to have to earn more money while you gain satisfaction from your job? Because the mortgage doesn't fucking are how satisfied I am at work."
Women will not be exploration geologists, pipeline welders, long haul truck drivers, mechanics, armed guards or diesel fitters. It doesn't matter a tiny fuck how beneficial to society each of those roles are. If they are not starving to death, and they have the choice, they will pick a more "feminine" profession.
So here is the question: Are you going to subsidize her doing what she wants while you bust your hump? To follow up, are you going to thank her for her sacrifice, and then do even more chores?
Yeah that's pretty much where I'm at, down to the MS in statistics, although I'm still working on that part. I'm actually a MGTOW who refuses to cohabitate so it's unlikely that I'll ever have to draw that line but there's no way I'd put up with some "boss girl" ordering me around in my own living space. The trad set up is the only set up I would even kind of think about considering.
Here's how you actually combat the "men should take on an equitable share of household labour"...
All men would agree with this in concept. Men are very much about equity. The problem though when you get into equity issues with women is that women are unable to grasp quality/effort of work and are only really good at grasping time of work and only time of work they can observe. To give you a really basic example: A man might decide to rewire something. If the man has no experience wiring things, this can be fairly dangerous. He's going to need to read up on it for a few hours at least and watch some youtube videos. He has to research. The wiring itself might take him 30 minutes to do but it required a couple days of research and a lot of brainpower on his part, not to mention risk involved in doing something entirely new. It wasn't easy or comfortable at all and was outside his comfort zone. A woman sees the man spend 30 minutes rewiring something and to her, her 30 minutes of doing the dishes is on par with that labour. This is incredibly inequitable in the way she's treating his work but that is how much women will treat it.
Now back to how you handle this... Women shouldn't be working a full-time 40 hour a week job. Women should instead be at home, home-schooling and looking after the household. Thus your 40 hours of work to earn an income should be equivalent to her cooking, cleaning and looking after the kids. In this way you never have an argument on equity because you have completely different roles.
When both people work, it causes massive problems with regard to equity. For example, I spent 8 years in education with a masters in statistics and my work is something most women, or people even, aren't smart enough to do. Do I work hard? Absolutely not. I have an extremely well-paid easy job but I earned this through 8 years of schooling and my superior intelligence. A woman might realize I don't work that hard because I come home from work early and I'm not stressed out. Meanwhile, she might be a nurse who is stressed out of her mind. She now thinks I should contribute more to the household work because I have an easier job despite the fact I earn twice as much as she does. Just because I'm smarter and worked hard to get to where I am doesn't mean I should have to do more work at home simply because of her lack of competence. But women will see it this way.
Trust me, I've been in long-term serious relationships... The only real way to make a relationship work when it comes to equitable work is to not have the woman work and to have completely distinct roles rather than having the same role and splitting things 50/50. Each person should have a completely different responsibility. No shared responsibilities. Otherwise, there's going to be issues. Most modern relationships that work-well tend to be ones where the men do most of the work yet the irony of these relationships is the women often try to proclaim that they are contributing 50/50. Men get 0 appreciation for their contribution.
I told my wife: the kids will be out of diapers in a few years, the lawn will have to be mowed forever. Get over it.
The The Manipulated Man, Esther Vilar explained women enjoy menial chores because they (women) are stupid.
Truth. This really is the only way to go.
I agree with the wiring part but not with this. Your intelligence and 8 years of schooling are part of the value you bring to this hypothetical scenario, but you're trying to create a division of labor that works for your family. Being all 'I shouldn't have to do the extra work I clearly have time and energy for, because I earned my easy job because I'm smarter than you' when she's working hard and struggling isn't healthy, and it's very adversarial. You make it sound like your first response to any discussion about fairness is to try and outsmart her so you get what you want and she doesn't.
Do you think a doctor should be paid the same as a garbage man? Why not? What is it about a doctor's work that makes it more valuable? Supply/demand, right? I'm saying the work I do is more valuable than the work she does overall, just because she might struggle more doesn't mean my work is any lesser than hers or hers is somehow "more work".
I don't know what you do except that it requires a master's in statistics, does it provide a more worthwhile service to society than caring for the sick? You are much less replaceable than a nurse so sure, from a supply and demand perspective your work is worth more. It's not lesser than hers. But in present terms, hers is more work if you are, by your own words, enjoying a very easy job and she is working hard and stressed from it.
We're likely on the same page, mostly. More goes into assessing value than just what you see on the surface. Feminist messaging is all about ignoring reality in order to coddle women and push all responsibility onto men.
I'm just saying a domestic partnership should be about supporting each other and the larger family, not deciding that you get to put in less work (that you have more time and energy to do) because you're more intelligent and educated than your overworked partner.
Which is why it's always preferably to have a wife who doesn't work, so she can contribute in other ways and not think you need to work harder to be equitable.
Let's frame it another way. If you earn $200k/yr working part-time and she earns $50k/yr working full-time; who should be doing the cooking and cleaning? She'll say you because she works harder but in reality it should be her because you're contributing 4x as much to the relationship. Equitable means she needs to pull up her contribution level in such a scenario. That's the point I'm getting at.
The issue is that every woman wants to be a nurse or a teacher, to the point that male teachers are a vanishing minority and male nurses are distinctly rare.
Nursing and teaching have become an overwhelmingly female dominated profession. As a result, the supply of nurses is high, and the market rate for their labor is lower.
Women don't want to do statistics. They hate math. Even women who don't hate math would still much rather follow a career in their interest.
Men are willing to make sacrifices to peruse a career that pays the most money. Women will "follow their heart", even if the pay is total shit.
You can put a value on jobs and roles that are "more worthwhile service to society". It is a dollar value.
But that counts for jack and shit when it comes to brining home the bacon.
Woman: "Oh darling, I want to follow my heart and dreams and care for the sick." Man: "So I am going to have to earn more money while you gain satisfaction from your job? Because the mortgage doesn't fucking are how satisfied I am at work."
Women will not be exploration geologists, pipeline welders, long haul truck drivers, mechanics, armed guards or diesel fitters. It doesn't matter a tiny fuck how beneficial to society each of those roles are. If they are not starving to death, and they have the choice, they will pick a more "feminine" profession.
So here is the question: Are you going to subsidize her doing what she wants while you bust your hump? To follow up, are you going to thank her for her sacrifice, and then do even more chores?
Why?
Yeah that's pretty much where I'm at, down to the MS in statistics, although I'm still working on that part. I'm actually a MGTOW who refuses to cohabitate so it's unlikely that I'll ever have to draw that line but there's no way I'd put up with some "boss girl" ordering me around in my own living space. The trad set up is the only set up I would even kind of think about considering.