I decided to try out tinder and discovered the site is absolute garbage. There are no real browsing options, interest selection is limited, there are fucking trannies who failed to properly disclose their status so they show up where they shouldn't, and it prohibits you from manually disclosing your location by forcing you to use location services.
Edit: Was likely banned for saying in the account description I hate regressive leftists and muslims, and also for saying I hate gender identity. Another possibility was that defending lolicon got me wrongfully banned for pro-pedo speech.
I can't say I share your experience. I make well over 6-figures, own a house, I'm well-travelled, I workout, I'm smarter than most people, I'm articulate and I'm funny. I haven't found a decent woman. It's not for a lack of trying either. I've looked in almost every nook and cranny imaginable too. Even tried joining a Mormon church to find a suitable wife. My latest idea was trying some Hutterite colony.
I think lots of people underestimate how important age is. You describe "girls are made into marriage material', well this is true but only girls are. Once a woman is passed ~25-30yo, she's no longer that mouldable. Your ideal age is as young as possible, so like ~18-20. This is specifically why corporations like to hire new-grads straight from university so the corporation can indoctrinate the young 22yo with as much corporate propaganda as possible to shape the person into a good little corporate drone. Did you know investment banks almost exclusively all refuse to hire 30yo+ people into analyst roles? Why? Because they can't shape the people into what they want. They find 30yos have already solidified into the kind of employee they're going to be for the rest of their life by then. They almost only hire 22yos exclusively. You need to do the same thing with women to make them good wives but you are competing with social media, their friend circles, the corporation they work for, hollywood, etc... and while you as the man likely will win-out in the beginning, as time goes on usually these women eventually leave your domination and obey some competing force. This is why it's extremely common to see 20yo girls from small towns get married then divorced by 30yo. They submitted to the man in the beginning then rebelled against the man in the end. This is why younger women are both ideal but also pose high risk because their loyalty to you can be subverted easily by outside influences, which women have much exposure to these day.
Everything I just said something a 20yo man has no hope of truly understanding nor do many even want to believe what I'm saying. My words are something only a 30yo+ man could truly grasp but then the ability to acquire a 20yo woman at my age is nearly impossible. Women closer to my age are already locked into the personality they're going to have for the rest of their life and I can't mould it much anymore so what you're saying about just be a good quality man and the woman will do whatever you want her to doesn't really hold true for men my age anymore.
If I knew what I know now 10 years ago I probably could have had a wife but I missed the boat.
You completely hit the nail on the head with this.
You are correct that only men past their 20s understand this.
Men in their 20s are still sadly too naive about the current state of women that they think the old advice of the redpill/ the manosphere of just get jacked bro, get money and then get women is all it takes to solve this.
No amount of lifting, accruing currency and developing myself as a person has done anything to even start to fix the various problems plaguing modern women.
I obviously still lift and still want to make more money and focus on cool hobbies but it is solely for myself.
None of these things has done anything for me when it comes to coming close to finding just one decent woman worthy of any long term investment.
Men need to understand that you cannot fix female behavior via male self improvement.
Yup, that last sentence needs to be repeated 100x over.
You cannot fix female behavior, you can only attempt to control it.
Maybe we’re looking for different things I guess. My 20s are long gone but I still usually end up getting with someone that’s 21. Not sure why. I don’t pick them because they’re 21, though that’s at times a perk. Meet them all on dating apps. I know guys well into their 40’s that still pull girls that are in their early 20s. Here anyway. Probably different in other areas.
Done younger and 25’s and even one 34 and 36 and they were all pretty cool, though the 30’s ones usually end up shooting themselves in the foot by demanding a great deal while adamantly having less to offer and being ill tempered by comparison to their competition. I do enviably well but I’m talking $10 million house type demands while they retire and we hire a nanny. In exchange they’re prepared to offer seemingly nothing. That ain’t happening in a $10 million house. Not that I could afford one.
I don’t mind girls closer to my age, sans fertility concerns, but they usually have such high demands that it’s a non starter. I do enviably well and had to build it all myself, and in exchange usually they’re in debt or have some normal to okay job they want to bail on and what they have to offer is the privilege of sex with them, which isn’t enough. If they were nice and wanted to be a real partner and work hard together or something that’d be fine. I don’t really have high demands. If someone wants the princess treatment though, they have to actually approach being a princess. Be nice, pretty, young. Something.
My last girl got indoctrinated in a hyper leftist master’s program and that ruined things over Covid, but realistically, I’ll probably find someone else that’s 21ish and about to or just having graduated from undergrad and marry that and fill her with babies.
Where do you live? After I started losing my hair and it thinned a lot in my late twenties, I stopped getting interest from 20yo girls. It was actually a fairly noticeable change too. I just find almost all the girls at that age just want to do drugs and party. I've never met a young woman that wanted to get married to an older man and start a family. You may have lucked out in the looks department or location? I can pull 30yo girls that are very attractive but yeah their expectations are unreasonable.
I'm not looking for sex though. I can find younger girls that will fuck me if I buy them stuff (wine/dine them and bring em to spas) but they don't want marriage. All of them have said the same thing. They want to fuck around while they're young and then think about marriage and kids later in life. A couple have even straight up said the highest age gap they'd want in a guy would be 5 years. I once discussed why this 18yo I was banging didn't want to have a serious relationship with me and she striaght up told me I'm too intellectually intimidating she put it. She said she felt like I'd be in control of everything and would be able to manipulate her without her even knowing because I just had too much life skills/wisdom than her so she prefers being with guys more on her level. For sex apparently that doesn't matter or is part of the turn on. A grandiose way of saying she likes to be in a relationship with a man she can control but she's not wrong about anything she said.
What I can't find is younger women that want kids+marriage.
I’m in the Bay Area. There are a bunch of ups and downs to that, but one upside is that there are a lot of people from all over, both from other states and other countries, so numbers-wise you can meet a lot of people. Most of the more based people here aren’t from here, though some hold overs from the 90s and before can be pretty based. I’m okay looking but that’s mostly from working at it, and I’m not a 10 or anything. I am hyper muscular though, so if someone wants someone that’s buffer or super hero looking, I play well to that, and I don’t have much competition there because most people here are tiny and frail, so I’m basically Mr. Olympia by comparison despite being far from that. Went through some health stuff that made that more complicated but I still pulled another 21 year old despite feeling like shit and to me looking like crap. Lived together a couple years or more. We’d have been married if I hadn’t encouraged her to continue on with her Master’s during the pandemic, which is where she got flipped leftisty. I’d wished I’d married plenty of the others but things came up and I was cold feety about it despite them being head over heels and wonderful people. You’re dumber when you’re younger, which I’m sure you can relate to. I’d probably tell my younger self to just marry my HS GF and start early.
If there’s something to me it’s probably more the location. My hair’s also thinning but cut well it doesn’t look that bad and although I was paranoid about it I’ve never had anybody say anything about it or notice anything despite me noticing. I’ll probably shave it at some point, and all my ex’s were always okay with that. A lot of them had only dated bald guys, though I’m not bald. Definitely take care of your hair situation though. Shaved looks better than balding, and I know a lot of guys that get SMP, which lets you look like you have a 5 O’Clock shadow when it’s shaved and you can even have a buzzcut with it and you still look like you’re just rocking a nicer shaved head with a full head of hair under there. I’d probably just go Mr. Clean though myself since I’m blonde. I’m on TRT+ now but I wasn’t when I was doing any of this or them so I didn’t need to that help, though it does make life a lot easier now that I’m older.
All my ex’s wanted kids+marriage. What they all had in common was being either from another country or state having come here for school, or first generation from an immigrant. It’s really hard to live here and most, not all, of them were usually with a bunch of roommates or being a nanny for a family or something in a small portion of a room they paid thousands for, so they come to my place by default. I don’t even have a house, so they’re not coming to my mansion or anything. I have friends whose girls were still living with their parents since it’s hard to move out here due to housing prices and rent. It’s very have and have not here, and hard, so if you at least aren’t a have not, there’s a lot to offer someone, if only to avoid having to make it on their own.
Another thing some, but not all, of them had in common is that they usually had something about them that would make them undatable to a lot of people where they’re from or around here which aren’t really bad things to me. One was 6’ tall like me so out here we’re basically 8’, one was from a country where having a tan and a nice ass meant you were a 2, one had giant tits and was from somewhere where they didn’t like big tits for whatever reason, etc. Some, but not all, were a little bit fixer-upper too, but nothing really that bad. Most people that get with me lose a little weight if they had it to begin with because I’m fit and active so I’m okay getting with someone that could stand to lose 15-30 or maybe more since anyone I date kind of becomes the super version of themselves anyway. All the girls I date are way more than 5 years younger than me, which is kind of the norm in other countries. Not that I wouldn’t date an older girl or don’t find them attractive, they’re just not open to dating in a reasonable manner.
I actually ‘date’ them too, which I’m told is less common now. We go out and do things and eat stuff, we don’t just Netflix and chill, although at times you will. Most people here just meet up and fuck, so I’m Captain Romance for taking them somewhere. I’m also very smart and funny, but you don’t really need to be all that smart and funny, just funny enough and smart enough. If a girl likes you and you’re at least kind of funny then you’re funny enough.
I’m not the only one doing what I do out here. One friend just lives in a studio he rents and does the same thing. He’s kind of short and I’d say just past being ugly and dresses poorly and he’s pretty weird but he’s athletic and his GF’s a strong 9. I have no idea why she likes him but it’s normal. He acknowledges he doesn’t know either. Just how it is here. He’s not white but he’s a legit white supremacist.
You def sound higher on the scale for physical attractiveness and even overall attractiveness as a guy scale than me. I've let my body go here a little the last two years. I just haven't got enough benefit from the effort I put in but I think at my peak, it sounds like I wouldn't be close to you. I've never been buff but I've had a decent physique. I'm smaller as a guy though. My limbs and bones are small so I never come off "big". I think my best weight has been 165 pounds and 5'10". Size 30 waist. I'm sitting at about a 31 waist now and probably around same weight. My size has never really been an attractor like for you.
I wish I could have warned you about the master's degree thing. Women going to school is a huge problem for failing relationships. My longest relationship was great until she decided to go back to school for law. Then it all fell apart. I see this theme again and again. Women going to school is a huge red flag for a relationship. These days I prefer women without post secondary and with 0 plans to ever go back to school. I find education/career in women is a huge detractor for relationships.
I've mostly lived in the mid-west areas. It's more "conservative" but that comes with its own share of problems. I'm currently living in a town of 30,000 people. I'm not exaggerating but almost every 20yo girl who wants marriage is already married or engaged to her HS sweetheart. If she's in her 20s-30s and single it's because she has someone else's kids. I moved her for significantly more money but I was hoping maybe there would be some decent small town girls. I underestimated how impossible it is for someone who wasn't born and raised in the community to meet single girls here though. I'll probably be here a couple years then move to I think my 9th city I will have lived in. Still, while big cities have more available single women, it doesn't solve the problem of big cities. Most of the women want equal 50/50 relationships where they're working 9-5 jobs and all that stuff. You sound like perhaps you haven't quite come to the conclusion that I have regarding that. Careers shape women's personalities and not in a good way. What may have seemed like a good quality girl when she was young and in school or 1-2 years out of school can quickly turn into those 30yo monstrosities you so know exist and career is often how that happens to women. The more career ambitious the woman, the worse her personality tends to develop. The fact major corporations are rolling the red carpet out for anyone with a vagina is a huge ego boost to women but these women are actually underserving of the roles which puts a strain on relationships because women get an inflated sense of their competence and intelligence which leads to conflict in relationships if they want everything 50/50 and don't listen to the men in the relationships.
Smaller towns at least still aren't quite dominated by the same corps that dominate big cities so there's less of the modern affirmative action diversity and inclusion bullshit so women aren't entirely propped up with inflated egos yet but then the counterpoint is unless you were fucking her in high school, she's already going to be married or used up with a kid by the time she blips on your radar.
For me, it just seems like a hopeless situation. My current strategy is just save some money and then go to Costa Rica in 10 years. Buy a bunch of hookers and blow and hope I die of a heart attack before I run out of money.