The Women Who are involuntary Celibates
(www.theguardian.com)
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This is an interesting attestation that I'm not sure I've heard before.
Care to expand on why settling for a less attractive woman takes an emotional toll?
Is it personal shame and disappointment you feel personally for not achieving better? Social stigma for having someone less valued attached to yourself?
My limited personal experience with dating less attractive women is that they didn't act any more humble or appreciative (I wish I could come up with a better term) and had expectations and demands as though they were of higher status anyway.
It sounds like you're going more for sex than a relationship and have set your sights on low hanging fruit, not that I'm judging, just analyzing.
Thanks for the elaboration 👍
Well, they seem not to. Do you not recall that video - hilariously wrong.
Brown, Asian, Black, Lesbian, Fatso?
I didn't really feel like listening to the vapid discussion (or skipping around in the video to re-check the final ranking.)
Dafuq kind of first world problems is this?
Lol, you perfectly exemplify the out of control beauty standards/over importance of looks, so very many men have, completely out of whack with their looks or social status, and more importantly out of whack with basic morality. Plenty of "4" males looking for hot "10" females and thinking they deserve it because "anything less takes an emotional toll and they're nearly in tears they're so degraded". Then they complain when the woman divorces them and they wonder why. Values out of whack. Looks do not make a person. Physical attraction is important, but not to the extent you should be in tears. That's unhealthy and immoral.
you sound fat
You sound like a peach. But no I'm very happy in sizes 2-6 and working out everyday.
Men are far more willing to settle for less than ideal. There's a famous study that shows that women judge other women's attractiveness more harshly than men do. The few men who do have those unreasonable expectations generally just don't date.
You touch on this, but I wanted to expand on it. Most men would be happy with someone who's reasonably attractive, isn't a total bitch, and doesn't have kids (this is close to word for word for what a buddy of mine said). The problem is that feminism has made those women very rare, so only the top 20% of men can get them. But men still settle for women who don't meet those standards, and they come to regret it. The reason for the fat/ugly/single mother acceptance movement is because those women still feel entitled to the top 20%. It's not they can't get men, it's that they can't get the men they feel entitled to despite being a 3 or a 4. So they price themselves out of the market and ask where all the good men went after riding the cock carousel for 20 years. The low quality women feminism has created is probably the biggest reason MGTOW is a thing outside the rigged legal/social environment governing gender relations.
If it's the study I'm thinking of, which I believe was Okcupid, and was quite popular a few years ago then you need to look at it more. The one I'm think of was touted as showing men find a wider range of women attractive, women only like the top 20%, or something like that. But, women were more likely to actually try dating men they did not find attractive, while men kept going for the top females. So, there's what they say, and what they do, for both genders. Also, most women are not sleeping around the way the redpill will have you think, about 2-3 partners, average men having a few more. Yeah, I enjoy the laughs on "wherehaveallthegoodmengone", single moms with 3 kids who are done playing games and want the 666. But that is not the norm. More people than ever are virgins, not dating, not having sex,not having kids, etc. Redpill has lots of good data and proof of sex differences, but it also makes things seem more bleak than they really are and also pushes degenerate behaviour like sleeping around. It's not the way, neither is mgtow, though i get why they feel the way they do. People aren't meant to be alone and neither philosophy will ultimately make men happy or healthy, nor save the West. Don't accept Leftist BS, but don't accept any other type either to cope.
I do not disagree at all that women as a whole have gone south way, WAY more than men, looks-wise, personality wise, in most morals too. We agree on that. I also agree women "price themselves out" earning college degrees then being unwilling to "settle" for someone who earns less, and with the number of males earning good wages dropping, while the number of women earning busy work degrees that pay well, for now, increasing. Heck, plenty of them don't pay well, they just think they're entitled to a certain wage, over production of elites and all, and think any man they date needs to earn more than her phantom wage (not even factoring student loan debt). I even hate fat acceptance. Leftists already ran roughshod through the arts, now they come for fashion and the health industry and I have to watch these fat runway "models" ruining one of the last bastions of beauty I had left and uglifying magazines that used to have some wordclass photography. Nevermind how unhealthy it is and how they're trying to strong arm fitness communities and health professionals into being ashamed for wanting to, and asking people to lose weight. They're literally killing people. Be thankful men know better than to have a fat acceptance movement, by the large, they know if they work hard they can fix it and don't blame others for their self induced misery the way women do. I don't even doubt you're attractive, that's not it. The problem is you should not be to the point of tears because someone else is ugly. That's not moral, that doesn't make them a bad person, you're placing too much importance on looks there, it's wrong. That does not mean though, that you have to date fat people, shaved heads, whatever. I do think beauty standards are way out of whack and unattainable for most women (and yes, men), even so, you have every right to pursue who you want, and should definitely stay away from people with shaved heads and the like, overweight people too. People who eschew societal standards, beauty or otherwise, who lack a sort of basic conformity, tend to have negative genetic personality traits. When redpill types talk about aposematism they aren't wrong. Overweight people tend to be depressed too, not fun to be around, contagious also. Plenty of women do what you did, "date down" in looks, and find what you find, some miserable person who's quite frankly, usually abusive as heck too. It's not good to think dating them is some kind of charity and probably factors in to why the more attractive person was treated that way, but usually the abuse went beyond that. People who have a "fixable ugliness" tend to have something else wrong with them that goes beyond looks, so be careful. The problem is valuing the wrong things (casual sex, looks), over the right things (character, which includes being healthy, and marriage). I know it's very, very hard out there for men, while only quite hard out there for women (I see a lot of effeminate males, see a lot of Liberal males, but plenty of decent men walking round all the time still). I just don't think dismissing legitimate claims out of frustration due to how much harder it is, is factually/morally correct. Especially when both genders want the same thing. I hope you find what you are looking for, and that thing is what is good.