Why Young Men Are Giving Up
(www.youtube.com)
You're viewing a single comment thread. View all comments, or full comment thread.
Comments (73)
sorted by:
So, I agree with everything you said.
Still, I think the "become her psychologist" or fetish scenario are more looks oriented than people realize.
To "become her therapist" you have to already have her hooked in the first place and looks is how you accomplish that. If you aren't good enough looking, she's not going to bother to see you again for therapy. If you're good enough looking such that she'd be interested in you being her therapist then you don't need the therapist hook (or at least I wouldn't because I'm actually quite good at socializing with women. I have a lot of female friends that love talking to me). I think some already use me as their therapist lol. Unfortunately, all the women who I'm friends with who are into me, I'm not into them. I'm friends with a number of girls I'm into sexually and/or romantically but none of the girls I'm friends with and into are into me at all. Just last month I was hanging out with a whore who I was paying while also hanging out with a girl friend of mine (she was aware of the whore buying. I don't hide that I buy whores from my friends). The whore seemed a little confused though and later asked me why I don't just have sex with my friend because my "friend is beautiful" (the whore said that cause my friend was better looking than the whore and she could tell). I told the whore to take that question up with my friend. The answer is I did hookup with my friend before but my friend wasn't into the sex very much. I've seen the guys she does regularly fuck and they're all like 6-pack model looking dudes. She told me I wasn't very good at sex, my dick was a little small but my tongue is nearly unmatched (apparently of the triple digit body count she has, only one guy was better with his tongue than me) so at least I have something going for me. But, she said she's just not into me sexually. I just don't get her going such that she's attracted to me even though she loves hanging out with me. It's basically the same issue I find with ugly women. They might have great personalities but if they aren't hot enough, I won't be attracted to them as anything more than friends.
I'm actually connected to a large BDSM community on a personal level. Guys/girls I know are some people most people who watch BDSM porn would recognize. While, the amateur porn can make one think "looks" aren't a factor, the guys who're getting good looking women into kink are good looking themselves. I looked into trying to get involved in the kink community but without the looks for it, most people with experience won't even bother showing you the ropes because it just comes off creepy/desperate but as soon as you're good looking then it's all good.
I might be leaning too much into incel theory but the older I've got the more I've realized how important looks are because my looks have faded with age and it's a noticeable difference (really big significantly huge noticeable different not subtle at all) in my outcome with women. I went from guys not understanding how I was able to pickup women so easily to literally an incel who can't even get laid anymore because of my faded looks. I know all about Game Theory, PUA, RP, etc... I used to be friends with a guy who was early into that, had a YouTube channel (before they all got banned) and used to run classes in Vegas to make money. I know exactly "how to talk to women" but a lot of the old stuff has changed because women are all aware of it now and have adapted. I'm sure there's new stuff in not aware of anymore though.
I could probably stand to lose 15 pouds, get Botox, maybe get facial reconstruction surgery (again because of an injury I suffered a couple years ago but the first one didn't fix everything perfectly and my face is asymmetrical to the point it's very noticeable in pictures) and a hair transplant but I'm struggling with depression right now because of my poor outcome with women so it's a vicious cycle where I kinda get the motivation but then almost immediately lose it because of how poorly I'm treated. It's to a point where most women I wouldn't even be interested in having sex with think they're above my league and don't want to have sex with me. Anyone who "wants to help me out" tries to set me up with the absolute worst women and when there's women I would be interested in, no one even bothers trying to set me up with the girl because they know she wouldn't be interested. I've expressed interest in some girls before around guys/girls I know and I can immediately see their facial reaction that is quite telling that they know I don't have a chance and they just want to move into a different subject so they can avoid telling me that directly. I actually had a guy I'm friends with recently hookup with a girl he liked but she has some flaws he couldn't overlook. He thought she might be good for me. He setup a meeting and although she'd be a girl I'd "settle" for because she's got a number of faults, I decided I could overlook them but she wasn't interested in me. That's the thing, even girls I'm having to weigh the pros and cons and maybe consider aren't even considering me at all. For girls I'm totally into without having to weigh the pros/cons, they would never consider me unless they're after money.
I didn't age well at all. I was just looking at photos of me when I was 20yos and I was good looking then. Now, not so much. Not bad looking or ugly, just not good looking. I think this is kinda my problem. My taste in women is still basically the same as when I was 20yo and I can't change it (I've tried dating ugly women but I have 0 romantic interest in them even when I try). I'm basically a woman who hit the wall and is alpha widowed but the male version. There might honestly be no coming back from this. I could be too broken. Any woman who learns the kinds of women I'm into almost immediately "hates" me (I put that in quotations because they don't necessarily truly hate me but I can see the displeasure on their face if they learn the kinds of women I'm into. The only women who don't seem to dislike my taste in women are whores because with my taste in women, I basically just reinforce all the effort they've put into marketing themselves to men). I'm basically into women who looksmax so any woman who decided she didn't want to do xyz to attract men and just wanted to do what she wanted to do will immediately recognize I won't like her for that decision compared to a woman who did do xyz to attract men. All the girls who spent all their time on school/career and thinking men should like them for those things will immediately realize I won't care about school/career at all and would pick an unemployed girl if she was better looking. But the girls who're wearing a brand new outfit they just bought after getting Botox, their nails done, eyelashes and hair done will see me as reinforcing their decision to do those things so they won't necessarily mind unless they hate having to get all those things done to attract men. Ironically, I'm the guy version of the girls with a good education/career and hoping the guy/girl will be into that be it seems the girls I'm into don't care about education/career and would fuck an unemployed guy with a criminal record (which might actually be a positive to them) if he was hot with a nice dick. Guys on here say I should go for "better" women but I have a type... Find me the "quality" women that are concerned about their looks to attract men. I love it when they scratch my back with pointed nails. There's actually a psychological component to it also. I love knowing the woman is putting in effort to improve her look to try to attract me (the man). That makes me feel good. I hate when women fall toward the spectrum where women decide they should only do what they feel like and should never do anything on account of a man (the feminist extreme). I also hate the idea that a woman spent 4 years of her life full time studying to get an education so she can market herself to business owners and become a good worker bee for some man with capital instead of spending 4 years of her life studying to be more attractive to a man (me). Now, obviously no woman actually studies 4 years for that but the last girl I dated obviously devoted a lot of her life in her teenage years to learning how to be attractive to me (looksmax) both personality/looks. When her "game" was on, it was so on-point. Anything she styled was out of this world she was so detail oriented and she used those skills towards making hot outfits for herself, makeup, nails, etc... and she looked great because of that. All I'm saying is I prefer women who spend their time trying to be attractive rather than spend their time learning philosophy or history such that they don't really know how to be hot. I also don't like women that know how to be hot but don't like doing it or feel like they shouldn't have to. It's more about attitude then all that girly work. If she was attractive fully natural and didn't get work done because she thought she looked better natural than with the extra stuff (especially Botox in women's 20s, no way imo) then great but it's the attitude... It's the reason why she doesn't get it done that matters to me.
One other thing, I like women still in their party phase. I don't like women that are in their beta long-term security phase. For me to like a woman she has to treat me like I'm the alpha short-term in her party phase but I'm actually her beta long-term security pick (she just can't act like she's in this phase and that I'm her beta long-term. With whores I can at least dictate the relationship. With free women... Well, I've rarely found a free woman who meets these terms. I just find a lot of the average quality girls (including the good looking ones) tend to be a little too boring for me and looking for too much of that cookie-cutter White picket fence lifestyle. I also find a lot of them not that hot/sexual and not that into (good) at sex. I find when I go on dates with good looking girls with average cookie-cutter lifestyles, they dislike how I'm into partying and sex because they're "over" that. They want to go for hikes, feed their dog/cats and read a book which is not bad but I might be interested in that after 5 years of partying and sex. Essentially, I don't want women who gave those years to other men and are just looking for men to fill into the security/provider husband role. I spend a lot of time hanging out with friends and socializing which I want to continue doing. I've dated women who call themselves introverts and they have a very difficult time keeping up with me.
Money is the only thing that can overcome my looks deficit that I've found but it's only temporary, I don't have the money to hire a permanent good looking woman.
Yes, there is a personality factor but it's way too ingrained in me. I've tried steroids to see if that might help with my personality and it helps a little but it's a subtle difference, not a prominent one. My personality is not good for women (or guys for that matter). I have one of those personalities that when you first meet me, you probably won't like me much or have no strong opinion either way but once you get to know me, then you'll like me. I find this works well for friendships with men but it's terrible for trying to hookup with women because the women have to give me a chance and spend enough time with me to "get me". Most "free" women don't do this. I'm friends with so many whores because I hire the whores and at first they don't really like/hate me and just stick around for the money but then once they get to know me they really like me and we become friends. Free women don't go on a second date with me and then move on so I actually have a really hard time with free women. I've had multiple girlfriends of guys I'm friends with tell me they didn't like me at first but now I'm like their best friend. Again, the only reason these girl got to know me enough to say that is because they were stuck having to hang with me because their BF was friends with me. If these women met me without their BF as a single free woman, she'd likely not like me and move on.
I've been aware of my personality defects for 10 years at least and I've put effort into fixing them. I'm way better now than I was 15 years ago but it's still not enough and there's just no way I can change my personality to what it'd need to be where free women love me from the moment they meet me. I just can't do it, it's not in my genetics.
I basically need to hit the gym more, maybe shell out $10k-20k in surgeries and aesthetics works but then see how things go. I'm convinced improving my look is the only other option besides money. I am open to other suggestions though.
You're right about the girl who said if I paid her $120k. Even if I had $120k, I know she's not worth it and I know for a fact she would cheat as you say, she also would try to have sex as minimal as possible while not being into it and I hate playing that game. That's the issue with paying for women, you're always trying to ensure she puts out and she's always trying to put out as little as possible. If you acquire women based on looks then at least they want to fuck you. I'm not even sure if I can overcome my looks deficit with surgeries though. I wish there was something like a looks consultant who could basically tell me exactly what I'd need to do to look hot enough for the women I find attractive, without getting tattoos.
It's actually pretty easy to become her psychologist IF two conditions are met:
You get past the initial "wall" that women put in front of 99% of men (anyone but chads/tyrones)
You don't mind being her fucking emotional tampon, and also having to endure a barrage of endless trite garbage, and still having to validate her "feelings" no matter what.
Trust me, 2 in particular gets draining, FAST. You can get 1 quite consistentally with some practive, but part 2 is where I'd give up. It gets incredibly tiresome to listen to her prattle and complain and bitch sometimes in totally ersatz ways. And then you have to step on your ego and make her feel better (women work by feelings) even if you feel like you're steeping on your own soul. Long term, it destroys you.
But that being said, I'd say a good 95% of attractive women are seriously messed up "up there." As in, mass anxiety (80%+ of women), depression, self-loathing, harming themselves, borderline, whatever you want.
As for BDSM, it's mostly about finding the right place; internet has made this sort of harder, but also sort of easier. I used to have a profile on kink websites and get 0 matches. The key is to make a profile on a paid online dating website and add a lot of "allusions."
For pick-up artists: the core hasn't changed, except women's attention span is now shorter than ever. And you are one "false step" away from being kicked out. It's still about being assertive and making her laugh, except now women are not "all there" meaning in the present, and she'll check her phone every 2 minutes, and most likely text another guy while she's with you; if he makes her laugh more than you, you are out.
Going on hikes, ewk. Don't people have anything better to do?
Speaking for myself - I find women unbearable in general. I teach teenagers and even there, most "women" are unbearable. I get along with male students 100 times better than females. There are a couple of exceptions of course, but I can count on one hand the number of females students I genuinely appreciated, and they tended to be the ones that excelled in my class. Boys on the other hand, I was a model/mentor/guide to at least 50. Not even joking.
Book recommendations, study guides, career advice, even help with their personal projects, games, advanced problems, I've done it all.
That being said, I still date from time to time and the fact I know ahead of time I have to pay for all of her shit pisses me off. I make $18.75 per hour after taxes as a high school teacher. A typical burger and fries here will be $22. Plus taxes and tips, youre looking at $30. For $30, I can literally have burgers for the week. And then I have to pay for her? And she wants a drink too? Easily, the restaurant alone can cost $100. For what? Some distracted women on her phone that already banged 100+ guys and probably sucked some other dudes minutes before we met?
I had one of them bring her kid to the date and expect me to pay for it, it's fucking ridiculous.
As for the girl with her 120k, she is most likely not getting that. We like to joke about it and say some rich guy will "treat" her, but the fact is it's a minimal percentage of women, really.
Sure, a lot of women suck their boyfriend dry and treat him like an ATM, but how much can she reasonably steal from him? You mentionned an oil rig worker before, even an oil rig worker isn't beating 200k a year easily, and that's before taxes. I'd be shocked if most can keep 100k cash per year so at best he can send her a couple of thousands a month (he has to pay rent, etc)
And of course, no woman is worth 10k a month. That's $330 a day and assuming she is awake 16 hours, that's over $20 per hour doing what? Nothing.
If you think she cares about you... lol. It's all fake, and I'd rather be alone. Even if I had that 10k.
I have a personality likes yours, for what matters. Most people don't look further than that. Nor would I want them to anyway.
So, what hope is there for you and I? Maybe oversea women, but I heard bad stuff. Fact is, for me, I'm too old, and the only reason I would bother with a woman is to have kids, but who wants to bring kids into this world? Future Palantir slaves.
The best hope is probably power in numbers... make an account on every dating website, write to 10 women on 10 websites every day. Or go volunteer, do activities outsides. But frankly I have energy for neither
I tried the numbers thing earlier in life. At one point I probably went on dates with 50 different women in a year. There were times I had 3 different dates on the same day. I never liked any of the women. The women were "okay" but their pros never outweighed their cons. I started learning how to filter girls out as I needed adaptation. I was spending way too much money/time trying to find a woman playing the numbers game. By the time I finally figured out how to properly prejudge women on dating apps so I didn't have to go on as many worthless dates, I started getting 0 matches. It turns out, once I knew how to find the women I actually was interested, I learned these women weren't interested in me.
Playing the numbers game is what led me to whores in the first place. I started doing the math and I realized whores were actually cheaper than trying to date free girls in large numbers (playing the numbers game) so I stopped trying to date large quantities of women and just started buying whores. That worked for years but now it's not enough because I don't really want whores but what I want wasn't something I was ever able to get playing the numbers game either.
The reality is I just don't have the genetics for the ability to get what I want from women so at best I can throw some money down to buy a temporary simulation that immitates me getting what I want. I went monk mode for like 2 years where I didn't even look at porn or masturbate the whole time and completely ignored women. I wasn't happy doing that either. Sadly, what would make me happy is getting what I want from women. When I buy whores, I feel great while they're there.
As for the psychologist thing, I can't handle being a woman's emotional outlet for long unless she's sucking my dick. If a girl is giving me what I want sexually, then I can literally put up with anything from her. I have patience for women like no other. But, I've never been able to get over the initial wall women out up and convert it into sex. I always thought having unlimited patience for women would help me get women but I've learned women actually like it when men lose patience with them because that's how they know the man "cares". When see my endless patience as either not caring or as me being stupid or a pussy. I just know wasting time with women's created drama is pointless and women pickup on this and see it almost as misogynistic, which they aren't really wrong. I see dealing with women similar to dealing with a toddler or a dog. They're going to do stupid shit because they don't know any better and it's just how they are. Getting upset over it is thus stupid. But ofc women can perceive I see them as childish/stupid/pointless and hate that about me even though it means I don't get upset at anything they do.