Some People are Large Language Models
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How do you expect me to "make the effort" when I'm not allowed to? I'm doing everything I can and will even be dragging myself to church tomorrow because it's one of the only places I'm allowed to go even if I end up hating everyone there.
Well, normal people at your age would be allowed to go out on their own as adults. Either way, being “allowed” is not the issue. As it stands, you've been given explicit permission if not encouragement to get out on your own by both your mother and your father. Your mother even said you could take the car.
You don't have to go to a bar. You can also look up classes or alcohol free events. I've already told you explicitly how you can do that.
They tell me to get a life but they don't tell me what to do except get a job and follow them around places. I don't feel like they actually trust me to do anything alone given how it seems to be implicitly discouraged despite being explicitly encouraged. Every time I bring up the idea of going out somewhere alone it always gets brought back around to waiting for the next family outing instead, being delayed, or generally being discouraged. On top of that every time I try seeking direction so I can feel like I'm actually doing what they want me to rather than going against orders it just turns into a big fight about how I'm obsessed with women, how I have no independence, how I'm supposedly some sort of "psychopath" who shouldn't leave the house, and how they don't know anything they can do to help me.
I've tried and most of those events are with churches or for disability groups, basically the same sort of stuff my mom has already been finding for me for years.
It's explicitly encouraged. Act on that.
You are obsessed with women. You don't have independence. There should be no argument there.
I've given you a lot of ways you could help yourself. You've tried absolutely none of them. You have not ever tried to take the initiative to meet someone new. Understand this as your reality, so then you can finally learn how to put forth an effort.
I'll be going out to church tomorrow, I tried to get out today but I didn't know where to go and couldn't get any suggestions. Honestly I feel like the biggest thing I've missed is a "bad" influence that would at least lead to me doing something rather than endlessly struggling to get my family to help me build a social circle.