They tell me to get a life but they don't tell me what to do except get a job and follow them around places. I don't feel like they actually trust me to do anything alone given how it seems to be implicitly discouraged despite being explicitly encouraged. Every time I bring up the idea of going out somewhere alone it always gets brought back around to waiting for the next family outing instead, being delayed, or generally being discouraged. On top of that every time I try seeking direction so I can feel like I'm actually doing what they want me to rather than going against orders it just turns into a big fight about how I'm obsessed with women, how I have no independence, how I'm supposedly some sort of "psychopath" who shouldn't leave the house, and how they don't know anything they can do to help me.

You don't have to go to a bar. You can also look up classes or alcohol free events. I've already told you explicitly how you can do that.

I've tried and most of those events are with churches or for disability groups, basically the same sort of stuff my mom has already been finding for me for years.