Well, I would think step one would be "I hate my dad so much I want to be the opposite of him in any way." That's a self teachable lesson. Instead of following his footsteps seemingly to the T.
He's 14. Is he supposed to become an adult before he even finished puberty? With no one to teach him what a proper adult is even supposed to be?
Because literally everything he is pissy about is just normal for me and everyone I grew up with.
So you had people around you that were in the same boat as you were. He doesn't. He's isolated. During the age of the internet where he's constantly reminded about how messed up his parents are and how messed up his childhood is/was.
So you had people around you that were in the same boat as you were.
Nah, just guys who have the same situation who lived nearby. We didn't have a "parents are junkies" club and became all good friends in bonding. Most hated each other and would tear each other down just to feel like their situation was slightly less horrific.
During the age of the internet where he's constantly reminded about how messed up his parents are and how messed up his childhood is/was.
Because small towns where literally everyone knows everyone's business at all times never remind you constantly about how fucked your situation is, unlike the internet where you can just turn the screen off nigga.
Have some empathy
Ah yeah, because "having empathy" helps men's problems so much. We should teach all our teenage boys that the real world will totally care about their big sad boy problems everytime they want to have a cry about how hard they had it.
I have empathy for his situation. Its why I have my strong opinion on it. And that opinion is the sooner he learns that no one cares about him and his pain, other than to use against his father, the sooner he actually becomes the man he wants to be. He is lost in his self loathing, and needs to let that go before he can actually grow into a proper adult, and coddling that with "oh you poor baby, you had it so hard" keeps him from doing so.
Ah yeah, because "having empathy" helps men's problems so much. We should teach all our teenage boys that the real world will totally care about their big sad boy problems everytime they want to have a cry about how hard they had it.
You confuse empathy with compassion. Empathy means putting yourself in another persons shoes and understanding them. You're comparing your own past with his present which is basically doing the 'I walked to school uphill both ways'.
He is lost in his self loathing, and needs to let that go before he can actually grow into a proper adult(...)
Again he's 14. He's a child. He's in the middle of rebelling. Let the kid vent his frustrations. It's a process.
(...)and coddling that with "oh you poor baby, you had it so hard" keeps him from doing so.
Did nothing of the sort. But I guess that helps you dodge the point better, so have at it.
You're comparing your own past with his present
I'm using that magical empathy to take from experience what helped and what hurt the process to get out from under those types of upbringings.
Let the kid vent his frustrations. It's a process.
A kid by your own admittance has no role models to support that process. I suppose parents are just useless to teenage growth that these normal rebellions just work themselves out fine. We certainly don't have endless examples of that process going horribly wrong in these types of kids.
He is already going into his dad's room to shoot him with a fake gun randomly out of anger on stream. And that's just the things we get to see.
Did nothing of the sort. But I guess that helps you dodge the point better, so have at it.
When you write things like:
We should teach all our teenage boys that the real world will totally care about their big sad boy problems everytime they want to have a cry about how hard they had it.
it doesn't really sound like empathy. It sounds like you're ridiculing stereotypical 'female compassion' which has nothing to do with empathy. That's why I'm thinking you're confusing empathy with compassion.
I'm using that magical empathy to take from experience what helped and what hurt the process to get out from under those types of upbringings.
You're ridiculing him by calling him whiny. Despite him being a teenager. Besides just because both of you grew up in dysfunctional families doesn't mean your experiences fit his situation.
A kid by your own admittance has no role models to support that process.
Appears that way, yes. Won't stop him from going through the process though. Whether or not he'll manage to be successful remains to be seen and isn't guaranteed even if he has a positive role model in his life.
I suppose parents are just useless to teenage growth that these normal rebellions just work themselves out fine.
Parents like his? Of course they're useless. They're the reason he's acting the way he does in the first place.
He is already going into his dad's room to shoot him with a fake gun randomly out of anger on stream. And that's just the things we get to see.
The kid is acting out in a way he knows is actually affecting his parents. That's what rebelling teenagers do. If he did it silently away from public view his parents wouldn't give a shit.
As long as he's stuck in that situation and can't leave there's little else he can do but rebel.
He's 14. Is he supposed to become an adult before he even finished puberty? With no one to teach him what a proper adult is even supposed to be?
So you had people around you that were in the same boat as you were. He doesn't. He's isolated. During the age of the internet where he's constantly reminded about how messed up his parents are and how messed up his childhood is/was.
Have some empathy for that poor fucker.
Nah, just guys who have the same situation who lived nearby. We didn't have a "parents are junkies" club and became all good friends in bonding. Most hated each other and would tear each other down just to feel like their situation was slightly less horrific.
Because small towns where literally everyone knows everyone's business at all times never remind you constantly about how fucked your situation is, unlike the internet where you can just turn the screen off nigga.
Ah yeah, because "having empathy" helps men's problems so much. We should teach all our teenage boys that the real world will totally care about their big sad boy problems everytime they want to have a cry about how hard they had it.
I have empathy for his situation. Its why I have my strong opinion on it. And that opinion is the sooner he learns that no one cares about him and his pain, other than to use against his father, the sooner he actually becomes the man he wants to be. He is lost in his self loathing, and needs to let that go before he can actually grow into a proper adult, and coddling that with "oh you poor baby, you had it so hard" keeps him from doing so.
You confuse empathy with compassion. Empathy means putting yourself in another persons shoes and understanding them. You're comparing your own past with his present which is basically doing the 'I walked to school uphill both ways'.
Again he's 14. He's a child. He's in the middle of rebelling. Let the kid vent his frustrations. It's a process.
Has anybody done that here?
Did nothing of the sort. But I guess that helps you dodge the point better, so have at it.
I'm using that magical empathy to take from experience what helped and what hurt the process to get out from under those types of upbringings.
A kid by your own admittance has no role models to support that process. I suppose parents are just useless to teenage growth that these normal rebellions just work themselves out fine. We certainly don't have endless examples of that process going horribly wrong in these types of kids.
He is already going into his dad's room to shoot him with a fake gun randomly out of anger on stream. And that's just the things we get to see.
When you write things like:
it doesn't really sound like empathy. It sounds like you're ridiculing stereotypical 'female compassion' which has nothing to do with empathy. That's why I'm thinking you're confusing empathy with compassion.
You're ridiculing him by calling him whiny. Despite him being a teenager. Besides just because both of you grew up in dysfunctional families doesn't mean your experiences fit his situation.
Appears that way, yes. Won't stop him from going through the process though. Whether or not he'll manage to be successful remains to be seen and isn't guaranteed even if he has a positive role model in his life.
Parents like his? Of course they're useless. They're the reason he's acting the way he does in the first place.
The kid is acting out in a way he knows is actually affecting his parents. That's what rebelling teenagers do. If he did it silently away from public view his parents wouldn't give a shit.
As long as he's stuck in that situation and can't leave there's little else he can do but rebel.