Ah yeah, because "having empathy" helps men's problems so much. We should teach all our teenage boys that the real world will totally care about their big sad boy problems everytime they want to have a cry about how hard they had it.
You confuse empathy with compassion. Empathy means putting yourself in another persons shoes and understanding them. You're comparing your own past with his present which is basically doing the 'I walked to school uphill both ways'.
He is lost in his self loathing, and needs to let that go before he can actually grow into a proper adult(...)
Again he's 14. He's a child. He's in the middle of rebelling. Let the kid vent his frustrations. It's a process.
(...)and coddling that with "oh you poor baby, you had it so hard" keeps him from doing so.
Did nothing of the sort. But I guess that helps you dodge the point better, so have at it.
You're comparing your own past with his present
I'm using that magical empathy to take from experience what helped and what hurt the process to get out from under those types of upbringings.
Let the kid vent his frustrations. It's a process.
A kid by your own admittance has no role models to support that process. I suppose parents are just useless to teenage growth that these normal rebellions just work themselves out fine. We certainly don't have endless examples of that process going horribly wrong in these types of kids.
He is already going into his dad's room to shoot him with a fake gun randomly out of anger on stream. And that's just the things we get to see.
Did nothing of the sort. But I guess that helps you dodge the point better, so have at it.
When you write things like:
We should teach all our teenage boys that the real world will totally care about their big sad boy problems everytime they want to have a cry about how hard they had it.
it doesn't really sound like empathy. It sounds like you're ridiculing stereotypical 'female compassion' which has nothing to do with empathy. That's why I'm thinking you're confusing empathy with compassion.
I'm using that magical empathy to take from experience what helped and what hurt the process to get out from under those types of upbringings.
You're ridiculing him by calling him whiny. Despite him being a teenager. Besides just because both of you grew up in dysfunctional families doesn't mean your experiences fit his situation.
A kid by your own admittance has no role models to support that process.
Appears that way, yes. Won't stop him from going through the process though. Whether or not he'll manage to be successful remains to be seen and isn't guaranteed even if he has a positive role model in his life.
I suppose parents are just useless to teenage growth that these normal rebellions just work themselves out fine.
Parents like his? Of course they're useless. They're the reason he's acting the way he does in the first place.
He is already going into his dad's room to shoot him with a fake gun randomly out of anger on stream. And that's just the things we get to see.
The kid is acting out in a way he knows is actually affecting his parents. That's what rebelling teenagers do. If he did it silently away from public view his parents wouldn't give a shit.
As long as he's stuck in that situation and can't leave there's little else he can do but rebel.
And empathy doesn't require kindness. The entire point there was the important lesson that people really don't care about men's problems, especially emotional ones. Period. And no amount of being upset about it will change that.
People, especially women, will bait you into thinking that they do. But it will always end up lowering their opinion of you, and usually not actually help you. "Talk Therapy" is a women's method of dealing with things, and for most men it just keeps you wallowing instead of dealing with your baggage.
Literally no one here would give much of a shit about him if he wasn't the son of a famous and hated political figure, and him being this fucked up was a great cudgel against him and the Streamers/Libs. Its literally the way this topic was titled. He'd be just another broken nameless teen that people would forget about tomorrow.
You're ridiculing him by calling him whiny.
Because he is being whiny. He wants to come on the internet, say he is a grown man and talk he gets treated like everyone else. Stay in the kid's corner if you want special kid protections.
Yes. I don't want you to be kind to him either. But the way you're phrasing what you're saying it gives off the impression that you're actively ridiculing him because you're annoyed at him for publicly complaining despite growing up in a household with seemingly a lot of money. Perhaps it's just a case of miscommunication/misunderstanding but that's what I take issue with.
I agree with you that he has to toughen up eventually because otherwise he'll just end up a broken person. But he's 14. He's still a kid. To learn to live with a fucked up upbringing is a process that doesn't happen overnight and it especially doesn't happen as long as you're stuck in that environment. So let him vent, let him complain, let him rebel, it's part of that process. Ridiculing him for it is as contra-productive as coddling him would be. That's the point I'm trying to make.
He wants to come on the internet, say he is a grown man and talk he gets treated like everyone else.
Where did he say he's a grown man? He complained about having to becoming an adult without having anyone to actually teach him. Which is a valid complain for a kid to have.
You confuse empathy with compassion. Empathy means putting yourself in another persons shoes and understanding them. You're comparing your own past with his present which is basically doing the 'I walked to school uphill both ways'.
Again he's 14. He's a child. He's in the middle of rebelling. Let the kid vent his frustrations. It's a process.
Has anybody done that here?
Did nothing of the sort. But I guess that helps you dodge the point better, so have at it.
I'm using that magical empathy to take from experience what helped and what hurt the process to get out from under those types of upbringings.
A kid by your own admittance has no role models to support that process. I suppose parents are just useless to teenage growth that these normal rebellions just work themselves out fine. We certainly don't have endless examples of that process going horribly wrong in these types of kids.
He is already going into his dad's room to shoot him with a fake gun randomly out of anger on stream. And that's just the things we get to see.
When you write things like:
it doesn't really sound like empathy. It sounds like you're ridiculing stereotypical 'female compassion' which has nothing to do with empathy. That's why I'm thinking you're confusing empathy with compassion.
You're ridiculing him by calling him whiny. Despite him being a teenager. Besides just because both of you grew up in dysfunctional families doesn't mean your experiences fit his situation.
Appears that way, yes. Won't stop him from going through the process though. Whether or not he'll manage to be successful remains to be seen and isn't guaranteed even if he has a positive role model in his life.
Parents like his? Of course they're useless. They're the reason he's acting the way he does in the first place.
The kid is acting out in a way he knows is actually affecting his parents. That's what rebelling teenagers do. If he did it silently away from public view his parents wouldn't give a shit.
As long as he's stuck in that situation and can't leave there's little else he can do but rebel.
And empathy doesn't require kindness. The entire point there was the important lesson that people really don't care about men's problems, especially emotional ones. Period. And no amount of being upset about it will change that.
People, especially women, will bait you into thinking that they do. But it will always end up lowering their opinion of you, and usually not actually help you. "Talk Therapy" is a women's method of dealing with things, and for most men it just keeps you wallowing instead of dealing with your baggage.
Literally no one here would give much of a shit about him if he wasn't the son of a famous and hated political figure, and him being this fucked up was a great cudgel against him and the Streamers/Libs. Its literally the way this topic was titled. He'd be just another broken nameless teen that people would forget about tomorrow.
Because he is being whiny. He wants to come on the internet, say he is a grown man and talk he gets treated like everyone else. Stay in the kid's corner if you want special kid protections.
Yes. I don't want you to be kind to him either. But the way you're phrasing what you're saying it gives off the impression that you're actively ridiculing him because you're annoyed at him for publicly complaining despite growing up in a household with seemingly a lot of money. Perhaps it's just a case of miscommunication/misunderstanding but that's what I take issue with.
I agree with you that he has to toughen up eventually because otherwise he'll just end up a broken person. But he's 14. He's still a kid. To learn to live with a fucked up upbringing is a process that doesn't happen overnight and it especially doesn't happen as long as you're stuck in that environment. So let him vent, let him complain, let him rebel, it's part of that process. Ridiculing him for it is as contra-productive as coddling him would be. That's the point I'm trying to make.
Where did he say he's a grown man? He complained about having to becoming an adult without having anyone to actually teach him. Which is a valid complain for a kid to have.