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52
Oh look, another article pushing therapy as the solution to men's dating problems (archive.is)
posted 335 days ago by TheOutlaw 335 days ago by TheOutlaw +52 / -0
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▲ 21 ▼
– Vivs3rdSock 21 points 335 days ago +21 / -0

Article still fails to address that therapy for men and women is different. The entire therapy system is designed to work for women which is why it doesn't often work for men.

"Women discuss their problems face to face. Men discuss their problems shoulder to shoulder."

Is the saying, or near abouts, used to refer to this. Sitting down and talking 1 on 1 with someone is more likely to work for women while men have a preference towards doing something.

"Human beings" vs "Human doings", is another way of putting it.

If you want a man to open up about something you need to give him 3 things to achieve that.

  1. Time. He will talk when he is ready.

  2. Space. Sitting in a room, no matter the size, will not work. Men need to be active while the time passes.

  3. Safety. This usually means it needs to be another man he talks to who will have the inate understanding about talking about personal things, and won't turn around and blab to everyone 5 minutes later.

Now it's very, very, VERY likely once these 3 things are sorted it may still take hours, and hours, and hours or both mundane working and chatting about things completely unrelated to whatever the topic at hand is, this is mostly because it's letting the guy feel things out with whomever he is talking to and judging if he can trust him enough to actually open up. And when he does it will probably appear random and spontaneous to whatever else is going on rather than having been prompted to do so from some external stimuli.

tl;dr article is part of the problem perpetuating women-centric therapy methods for men despite it [still] not working.

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▲ 23 ▼
– TheOutlaw [S] 23 points 335 days ago +23 / -0

Therapy doesn't work for men because men need to solve the problem instead of endlessly talking about it. If your job is making you miserable you need a new job. Paying $300/hr to talk about it leaves you miserable and $300/hr poorer, and the time you wasted could have been spent on finding another job. Women make up their own problems, so they can make up their own solutions in therapy and say it "works".

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▲ 14 ▼
– DefinitelyNotIGN 14 points 335 days ago +14 / -0

A male-oriented "therapist" is called a "consultant". They look at whatever it is, identify the core problem, and sometimes even one or two possible solutions.

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▲ 12 ▼
– throwawayaccount2037 12 points 335 days ago +12 / -0

I'm guessing some stealth-feminist downvoted you, but you're 100% correct.

Back when I was in the dating market that was one of the things that annoyed me most about women: they just wanted to talk, and talk, and talk, and then even admitted they weren't actually interested in solutions, they just wanted to have their "feelings validated".

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▲ 7 ▼
– BandageBandolier 7 points 335 days ago +7 / -0

Nevermind not designed for them, more than half of it is actively hostile towards them. Certain women look for a guy in therapy not because he's doing something to better himself, but because it means someone has already done part of the work of brainwashing him into thinking he's always the problem and that giving up more of his time and money to someone else is always the solution.

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